What do you pay for child car/preschool? How to save?

[tvguy]

Do you know the individual and combined incomes of these families, and do you see their monthly budget each month? If so, then I guess you can make that statement. If not, then you don't have a basis to judge them.

We have a full-time nanny every summer for our 3 kids. We have a 3rd car so that she doesn't have to use her own vehicle. This costs us about 1/8 of our monthly income, which is perfectly reasonable to me. And that's all that matters, since it's MY budget, not anyone else's.

I am in California and state worker pay is listed by employee name on the web, and these are all state workers or teachers, so it's not hard to know at least a pretty close range of pay. . But we're getting hung up on how I may or may not know their pay, and that isn't what I am referring to. I am talking about people who maybe have not looked at the big picture. That's all I'm saying. I cannot dispute a well thought out decision, I'm just saying a lot of folks don't think it out.

 

[leshunlenese]

Thankfully I moved home and my DS goes to the same school my mom works at so he rides with her and stays with her when I get off. I am healthcare and at the time I was working 7am-7pm every other weekend. My son started school at 3 due to a speech delay so he thankfully did not have to spend all day at daycare. we are in Georgia, in southeast part at the time. I had to pay for before and after school care at 75 a week, then they charged an extra 10 to take them to school, and because I work 12 hour shifts I had to pay an additional 30 a week for night care. His daycare was open till 11 and when we were living there we had no family. It basically killed me!

 

[rockawaybeachgirl]

I am in California and state worker pay is listed by employee name on the web, and these are all state workers or teachers, so it's not hard to know at least a pretty close range of pay. . But we're getting hung up on how I may or may not know their pay, and that isn't what I am referring to. I am talking about people who maybe have not looked at the big picture. That's all I'm saying. I cannot dispute a well thought out decision, I'm just saying a lot of folks don't think it out.

These things never end well - but anyway:

Just how 'big' is the big picture you are claiming these folks don't see? When my daughter was born, I went back to work and we had a full time babysitter whose cost equalled roughly 50% of my take home pay. When you add in work clothes, dry cleaning, transportation, etc., one could say I was maybe taking home 30% of my salary, - but only for about 2 years total. However, - I had a career at a Big 4 Public Accounting Firm, and staying in the workforce more than paid back the sacrifices I made for those 2 years. Even more so, when I got divorced I had absolutely no loss in my quality of life and didn't have to stay awake nights wondering if we were going to make it. Fast forward 7 years, I'm remarried and the sole breadwinner of my family. So choices that seem foolish for 2, 3, 4 years may not be so in the grand scheme of things. Plus - and I feel like I'm confessing some parental sin here - I LIKED my job. It was worth paying a premium for.

And to the poster who said something about being a good role model - a few years back my daughter watched "Home Alone" for the first time. When they first showed the house they lived in, she turned to me with huge eyes and said "Wow, that house is huge! That Mom must have a really good job!"

 

[Divah]

I own and operate a daycare center. I started out as an R.N and after my first child I wanted to be home, so I started up a license home daycare....a few years later I got the credits I needed to open a center.

I know how expensive it is on both ends as a parent and an owner.....on the parents side I will work with them and we just started a program that is based on income. The state of Maryland will help with some daycare costs for low income families but it is a drop in the bucket to the cost.

We are trying to work with parents on cost but still be able to make a living myself. It is about the kids but the costs to maintain a facility is outrageous where I am ....between employees an well every thing....anyway I am rambling....

Talk to the daycare administration in your area get a list from them of centers home daycares etc in your area that fit what you are looking for. Some will give you breaks for more than one child or will help get you subsidised sometimes states have grants as well.

Do not rule out home daycares ...I am not sure about your state or area but in Maryland home daycares fall under the board of ed and most are accredited for early learning. It is not like it use to be. Home daycares are not the old lady who lived in the shoe anymore. Most who keep up the training and licence comply with the get ready for preschool curriculum ...but like everything you need to shop around interview thoroughly and do not be afraid to ask what breaks they can give you or discounts...but most importantly is how they are with your little bundle and vice versa.

Get on the net look up Daycare administration in your area and check out all the resources available to you. Good luck

 

[Jocelynred]

The going rate around here is $250-300/week for daycare centers, home centers may be about $100 less/week for full time care. I worked at the daycare where my son went to preschool. That reduced the rate in half for us. My dd was born as my son was entering kdg. I was going to go back to work at the daycare center. But, the infant rate was nearly double what we had been paying for preschool. I have been able to nanny for a few different families and bring my dd w me. It's a situation that works well for everyone.

 

[beansmom]

when my grandchildren went to full-time daycare (in the Boston metro area) 3 years ago, it was $2400 per month for 2 of them.
We currently have them in a low cost afterschool program and that alone is $500 per month. In the summertime, I think full-time is $400 per week but, again, that is at a lower-cost, subsidized program. I think here full time per child who is toddler age or older is $300 per week.

 

[mom2my3kids]

I paid 95 a week for daycare/preschool six years ago for three days a week..I could not imagine paying what some of these people pay, I would spend what I make a week on daycare..wow

 

[tvguy]

Just how 'big' is the big picture you are claiming these folks don't see? When my daughter was born, I went back to work and we had a full time babysitter whose cost equalled roughly 50% of my take home pay. When you add in work clothes, dry cleaning, transportation, etc., one could say I was maybe taking home 30% of my salary, - but only for about 2 years total. However, - I had a career at a Big 4 Public Accounting Firm, and staying in the workforce more than paid back the sacrifices I made for those 2 years. Even more so, when I got divorced I had absolutely no loss in my quality of life and didn't have to stay awake nights wondering if we were going to make it. Fast forward 7 years, I'm remarried and the sole breadwinner of my family. So choices that seem foolish for 2, 3, 4 years may not be so in the grand scheme of things. Plus - and I feel like I'm confessing some parental sin here - I LIKED my job. It was worth paying a premium for.

And to the poster who said something about being a good role model - a few years back my daughter watched "Home Alone" for the first time. When they first showed the house they lived in, she turned to me with huge eyes and said "Wow, that house is huge! That Mom must have a really good job!"

You bring up a good point about unforeseen circumstances. And of course, being unforeseen, there is no way to factor them into pre-planning.
I just know that before we started a family, my wife and I looked at how much child care would cost versus each of our paychecks. While a big chunk of one our our paychecks went to child care, we depended on the other portion to pay our bills. My wife desperately wanted to be a stay at home mom, but we just couldn't afford it even with the daycare cost savings.
I work with a guy right now who is within a month of having his second child and he and his wife in the last few months have just realized they feel they can't afford child care for 2 kids. He can't stay home because he is under contract for 2 more years, and she doesn't want to quit working. They will have to decide what to do before her maternity leave ends.
I know in my mom's case, she took 5 years off and went back at the same pay rate, and teachers and state workers here are union and it's pretty standard in their contracts that if you return to a job, no matter how many years you have been gone, you keep your seniority and pay scale.

 

[NJlauren]

What I said was, why should both parents work if that creates a situation where they both are exhausted and stressed and where the cost of the child care wipes out one salary? That just makes no sense.

This is the key, IF child care wipes out a salary. My husband and I both work and we talked about me staying home which I would love to do but the cost benefit analysis for us didn't make sense for either of us to stop working. We both take home more then child care cost but wouldn't live the way we live if only one of us worked. So we both work, it also needs a long term analysis, if a parent not working till all the children going to school is going to make them less likely to be employed later when they need to be employed the hit now may be worth it.

 

[MrsPete]

Wow, day care has gone up since my kids were small -- but, then, what hasn't?

My first thought: This isn't a place to skimp. If you're going to work, you need to know that your children are in good hands, not simply the cheapest place you could find. We used a variety of care over the years -- some family care, some big center care, some home day care. Each had pros and cons, and I feel we made the best choices possible with the options available to us at the time. Looking back, I'm pleased with the decisions we made.

Lessons I learned:

- Dropping your kid off on the first day is tough. Occasionally you'll still have tough days. That's just parenthood.
- Keep in mind that your perfect plans can change in an instant. For example, when I was expecting my second child, I was planning to move our oldest into a day care center while leaving my newborn with my grandmother (she couldn't manage two, and the oldest was ready for more interaction with other children anyway) . . . when IN ONE DAY my grandmother developed a medical issue and couldn't keep the new baby PLUS I got a letter from the day care center saying they'd be closing soon. Always have a "back pocket plan" in case things change.
- Day care was really good for my girls. They learned that they were the center of our world at home, but out in the world they had to wait their turn, they became more verbal when I didn't anticipate their needs, and they began to eat a better variety of food.
- The most shocking thing for me about COST was that it doesn't go away when they start school! After-school care was about 40% the cost of all-day care - even though we only needed it for 30 minutes a day! It was outrageous, but what could we do? I really resented paying that.
- Don't pay big bucks for educational experiences for preschoolers. At that age, they need BOOKS constantly -- mine couldn't get enough. They need to play games, to talk about colors and shapes . . . but don't bankrupt yourself for fancy-schmancy gimicky educational experiences. At this age it all pretty much boils down to crayons and talking anyway -- they need PLENTY of that stuff! (Note: I am a teacher, so I definitely value education; my oldest was the second biggest scholarship winner in her graduating class, and we'll see how the younger does in the next few months). Save that money for experiences when they're older -- trust me, it'll be better to spend it later.

 

[Gracie09]

You bring up a good point about unforeseen circumstances. And of course, being unforeseen, there is no way to factor them into pre-planning.
I just know that before we started a family, my wife and I looked at how much child care would cost versus each of our paychecks. While a big chunk of one our our paychecks went to child care, we depended on the other portion to pay our bills. My wife desperately wanted to be a stay at home mom, but we just couldn't afford it even with the daycare cost savings.
I work with a guy right now who is within a month of having his second child and he and his wife in the last few months have just realized they feel they can't afford child care for 2 kids. He can't stay home because he is under contract for 2 more years, and she doesn't want to quit working. They will have to decide what to do before her maternity leave ends.
I know in my mom's case, she took 5 years off and went back at the same pay rate, and teachers and state workers here are union and it's pretty standard in their contracts that if you return to a job, no matter how many years you have been gone, you keep your seniority and pay scale.

Your mothes situation is not the norm. I lost tens of thousands of dollars in salary plus I have up a 4 to 8 matching in my 403b (I put in four they put in eight). The cost of my four years home with my dds will be felt over my lifetime. At the time we had few choices since I had a sick disabled infant that couldn't stay in daycare and I wasn't comfortable with a nanny since she had many therapies to do on a daily basis. Looking back I'm happy I stayed home because I wouldn't have been able adopt our second dd but the cost extends way beyond the four years.

 

[tvguy]

Your mothes situation is not the norm. I lost tens of thousands of dollars in salary plus I have up a 4 to 8 matching in my 403b (I put in four they put in eight). The cost of my four years home with my dds will be felt over my lifetime. At the time we had few choices since I had a sick disabled infant that couldn't stay in daycare and I wasn't comfortable with a nanny since she had many therapies to do on a daily basis. Looking back I'm happy I stayed home because I wouldn't have been able adopt our second dd but the cost extends way beyond the four years.

You're a nurse? There's a national shortage of nurses. Nursing school graduates have jobs before they graduate. Certainly you lost out on the pay and benefits the years you didn't work, but nurses make great money now. I about fainted a couple of years ago when the CNA went on strike against my mom's former employer and they noted the average full time nurse with them earns $137,000 a year.

 

[SirDuff]

I know in my mom's case, she took 5 years off and went back at the same pay rate, and teachers and state workers here are union and it's pretty standard in their contracts that if you return to a job, no matter how many years you have been gone, you keep your seniority and pay scale.

Was she at the same pay she had been getting five years before or the pay she would have been at had she worked those five year? And when you talk about "keeping" seniority, do you mean that they don't lose the years they put in before they left or that the years that they took off are actually counted? If it is the former, that is, in fact, a loss of salary and seniority - they are behind where they would have been had they not taken the time off.

 

[Gracie09]

You're a nurse? There's a national shortage of nurses. Nursing school graduates have jobs before they graduate. Certainly you lost out on the pay and benefits the years you didn't work, but nurses make great money now. I about fainted a couple of years ago when the CNA went on strike against my mom's former employer and they noted the average full time nurse with them earns $137,000 a year.

My field of employment has no bearing on the fact that it's not cut and dry like you think it is. And my mother was a nurse for over 40 years and did not make over 100,000 dollars a year in ny . Like I said your mothers situation is not the norm even if just for the face that she was unionized.
I lost pay and benefits and the investment returns those benefits can make over the course of a lifetime. I lost advancement opportunities. You spoke up thread about people making choices without looking long term. What is more long term than retirement? And the tens of thousands is not the pay I lost while out but the difference in my salary when I left of old job to the salary I currently have at my new job. I took a pay cut in the tens of thousands of dollars

 

[Divah]

You're a nurse? There's a national shortage of nurses. Nursing school graduates have jobs before they graduate. Certainly you lost out on the pay and benefits the years you didn't work, but nurses make great money now. I about fainted a couple of years ago when the CNA went on strike against my mom's former employer and they noted the average full time nurse with them earns $137,000 a year.

I received my R.N at the U.S. Army Med academy at Ft Sam in Texas. finished my BSN at Hopkins while stationed at Reed. Went Civilan Started working For Shore Health system at Pen Regional Hospital in trauma Unit......I been a nurse for well over 20 years ( own and operate a daycare center now but still keep my license up and teach some at our local college) I assure you I never Ever made over 100k a year....It is Geography and Not all nurses make the same...shortage or not...maybe where you are but I do not know any nurse in my 20 years here that made that much I have came across.

Not saying they don't somewhere just that is far far from the average..I have a lice in 3 state as well....
CNA are certified nursing assistants( they are not nurses and take a 6 to 8 week course to get a cert...still are under paid and a valuable part of the medical field and should be paid more) and make at the most 15 an hour here. Techs are about 20 to 21 an hour As a RN I was salary depending if I traveled hospitals etc....highest I was paid was 95k a year and I was at Childrens on neo....good money but at cost of a slave to the system.

My daughter is going off to Whilmington and then on to Hopkins nursing 4 years till she has her RN and while she has a job when she passes the boards she will only be salary starting at 52k a year at Hopkins.....her God mother is the director of nursing at children's and makes 90k a year base.(108k on her best year she said) She has her master's and still at top of her pay grade.

so yeah I gave it up to make crap money to be home with my children. So no-one situation is ever the same you can't guess at what someone makes and assume. It is never as simple as that.

Edit. Not being condescending or rude but my situation and choices were based on my families needs and it is never simple and unless you are in that person's shoes to assume you know....you can't possibly know what another reasons or motives or what they lost and sacrificed.

 

[AZMermaid]

In my state, AZ, if I stop teaching for a bit and return to the same district, I would stay at the same pay scale. But if I switched districts, I start over at the bottom. So, obviously there is a huge incentive to go back to the same district. The retirement level stays the same though.

My sister was on the waitlist for RN school for a long time, like 5 years maybe when she finally gave up.

 

[tvguy]

Was she at the same pay she had been getting five years before or the pay she would have been at had she worked those five year? And when you talk about "keeping" seniority, do you mean that they don't lose the years they put in before they left or that the years that they took off are actually counted? If it is the former, that is, in fact, a loss of salary and seniority - they are behind where they would have been had they not taken the time off.

She was at the current pay scale for her experience, which was higher than when she departed 5 years earlier. Of course she didn't get seniority for years she didn't work for them, but she retained the 9 years seniority she had accumulated prior to leaving. So her step increases in vacation time included that 9 years prior service.

 

[tvguy]

My field of employment has no bearing on the fact that it's not cut and dry like you think it is. And my mother was a nurse for over 40 years and did not make over 100,000 dollars a year in ny . Like I said your mothers situation is not the norm even if just for the face that she was unionized.
I lost pay and benefits and the investment returns those benefits can make over the course of a lifetime. I lost advancement opportunities. You spoke up thread about people making choices without looking long term. What is more long term than retirement? And the tens of thousands is not the pay I lost while out but the difference in my salary when I left of old job to the salary I currently have at my new job. I took a pay cut in the tens of thousands of dollars

She was never union, the union came in after she retired. Yes, if you take 5 years off you lose 5 years pay, but this thread is about child care costs, and my point being, for some, the money saved by not paying for child care may be more than the salary you would have earned. I can't speak to advancement, my mom never sought it. She had no desire to be a manager. She did the same job form 1946 to 1985 with a break from 1957 to 1962 to care for me. DW and I are in the same boat now, we've both been the same job for 36 years.

 

[tvguy]

I received my R.N at the U.S. Army Med academy at Ft Sam in Texas. finished my BSN at Hopkins while stationed at Reed. Went Civilan Started working For Shore Health system at Pen Regional Hospital in trauma Unit......I been a nurse for well over 20 years ( own and operate a daycare center now but still keep my license up and teach some at our local college) I assure you I never Ever made over 100k a year....It is Geography and Not all nurses make the same...shortage or not...maybe where you are but I do not know any nurse in my 20 years here that made that much I have came across.

Not saying they don't somewhere just that is far far from the average..I have a lice in 3 state as well....
CNA are certified nursing assistants( they are not nurses and take a 6 to 8 week course to get a cert...still are under paid and a valuable part of the medical field and should be paid more) and make at the most 15 an hour here. Techs are about 20 to 21 an hour As a RN I was salary depending if I traveled hospitals etc....highest I was paid was 95k a year and I was at Childrens on neo....good money but at cost of a slave to the system.

My daughter is going off to Whilmington and then on to Hopkins nursing 4 years till she has her RN and while she has a job when she passes the boards she will only be salary starting at 52k a year at Hopkins.....her God mother is the director of nursing at children's and makes 90k a year base.(108k on her best year she said) She has her master's and still at top of her pay grade.

so yeah I gave it up to make crap money to be home with my children. So no-one situation is ever the same you can't guess at what someone makes and assume. It is never as simple as that.

Edit. Not being condescending or rude but my situation and choices were based on my families needs and it is never simple and unless you are in that person's shoes to assume you know....you can't possibly know what another reasons or motives or what they lost and sacrificed.

I agree. The issue is folks that seemed to be shocked that their decisions ended up having financial consequences.

 

[Gracie09]

She was never union, the union came in after she retired. Yes, if you take 5 years off you lose 5 years pay, but this thread is about child care costs, and my point being, for some, the money saved by not paying for child care may be more than the salary you would have earned. I can't speak to advancement, my mom never sought it. She had no desire to be a manager. She did the same job form 1946 to 1985 with a break from 1957 to 1962 to care for me. DW and I are in the same boat now, we've both been the same job for 36 years.

And what I am saying and you keep missing is it's not all about the current salary. There are other long term consequences to not working. If I work, even if most of my salary for a few years goes to child care, I am gaining retirement contributions (for me in 403b matching other sit may be different) the opportuny for advancement and raises. Showing my children's you can work and be a good mother. Showing my dds it's ok to use their brain. So while for a short period of time it may not appear to make financial sense, in the long run it makes complete and total sense.
Your mother never sought advancement, that doesn't mean everyone woman doesn't seek advancement. And staying home not only can stop advancement, it can put you right back at square one or below and you have to start all over .