What do you make of this?

[Pooh Crew]

From elementary school until high school, this girl and I were best friends. In high school, she started hanging with the wrong crowd and eventually her parents pulled her out of school and moved away. I saw her once or twice senior year and then never heard from her again. She was a friend I thought about often over the years and always wondered how she had turned out. We were on good terms when she moved away.

I graduated from college, moved out of state, and got married. While organizing our fifteen yr class reunion, I "found" her through a reunion board. I called her and we talked for about fifteen minutes--just basic catching up--then she said she was having a party at her house and needed to go get ready. She had sounded surprised to hear from me, and she was polite but reserved. She said she would call me back. Weeks go by, she doesn't call, I figure she lost my number and cannot remember my married name, so I call her back. She says she's on her way out and will call me back. She never does. Never one to take a hint, I call her again several weeks later and she once again puts me off saying she is feeling bad and really can't talk. So I sent her a Christmas card with a picture of my five children and just wished her well--figuring that would be the end of it. She sent me a Christmas card with a pic of her family and a very friendly note. She never called me. I never tried to call her again either. I just figured she did not want to renew our friendship for whatever reason.

Fastforward to this year: she sent me a Christmas card pic of her family! No note, nothing. Why would she send me a Christmas card if she does not want to talk to me on the phone??? Can anyone make sense of this? Do I send her a card back or just let it go? I know I am thinking about this waaaayyyy too much, but it's bugging me!

 

[ilovedale3]

I would just let it go and not worry about sending her a card.

She obviously does not want to actively persue a friendship with you (as evidenced by her unwillingness to talk on the phone).

Also the lack of a note or anything with the Christmas card probably just says that she had you on her card list and nothing else.

Spend the 37 cents that you would have spent on a stamp for her card and mail one to someone you like and likes you in return!

 

[disykat]

Don't send her card back - just let it go! It sounds like she isn't interested in renewing you friendship, but she probably enjoyed reminiscing about your past relationship.

 

[MissMinnie]

Hi! I know from personal experience that the holidays seem to bring out the sentimental side of people. I always get cards from people every year that I hardly ever see or talk to. If you do call them, it is usually arkward. Maybe your friend doesn't want to completely blow you off and seem like a jerk and gets sentimental around the holidays and this is how she wants to let you know that she thinks about you from time to time. She obviously does not want to renew your friendship or she would have taken the time to talk to you. Maybe she is embarrassed by her past behavior even though it has been a long time and you both have grown up since then. I would let it go and chalk her up to a "holiday friend". If it bugs you too much, then maybe write her a short letter telling her how you feel and asking her point blank if she would like to keep in touch more or not. Her response wiil tell you all you need to know and I would go by that. Sometimes friendships run their course and need to be left in the past. Maybe she really wants that for some reason of her own.

 

[jfulcer]

Man, some people are so quick to write off old friends. Obviously one that has had a wide enough impact on you that you made a good faith attempt at rekindling that friendship.

Send a Christmas card back! What does it cost you? Who knows why she didn't call you back. Maybe she just doesn't have the time for you now. But what about in 5 years? Give her the benefit of the doubt, it won't kill you to just send a card. And don't stress about it!

 

[ilovepcot]

I agree. Send a card and let it go at that. If she wants to pursue your friendship, this will open the door to do so. If she doesn't, that's alright, too.

 

[Keli]

I agree with Jeff, send the card and don't worry about it. You can't ever have too many old friends and it's not as if this relationship is high maintence or anything, lol.

 

[Disney Doll]

I have people on my Christmas card list that I don't necessarily talk to evry day (or ever for that matter) but still enjoy getting a card from, seeing their kids grow (if they end a picture card) hearing about their lives (if they do a Christmas letter).

Send her a card. Put a little blurb in it about how big the kids are getting, life is hectic, yadda, yadda. Maybe when you spoke to her in the past, something about her life was not allwoing her to get involved, and now things may be different.

As a nurse, I have taken care of many people over the years who will point out something I did that, to me, was insignificant, but to them, meant the world. You never know....

 

[mickeyfan2]

Just send her a card.

 

[Nite0wl71]

I agree just send a card, then see what happens