What do you do when you are invited to a gay wedding and you oppose gay marriage?

[smartestnumber5]

I would imagine that if the ones doing the inviting were true friends, they would understand your position on the issue and not invite you out of respect for your beliefs and desire to have the best day possible. As their friend, you would understand their decision and be grateful they respect your beliefs. In turn, you would never belittle or begrudge them of the fact but continue to keep a cordial relationship where you discuss business, pets, and the funny T.V. show as well as Christmas gift ideas.

Really? I wouldn't call a relationship that was reduced to that a "friendship" at all. That seems like barely acquaintance level.

But then, I would think it would be extremely hard to maintain a friendship with someone who refused to come to your wedding because they don't believe you have the right to be married. I wouldn't even bother to keep up the acquaintance level--what would the point be?

 

[smartestnumber5]

I've never been in that situation but I'd guess if I cared about the person getting married, I'd put a smile on my face, a gift in my hand and go and celebrate their happy day with them.

It wouldn't be any different than going to a wedding between two straight people and feeling like they were making a mistake by marrying eachother. (I don't mean here that gay marriage is a mistake, just using an example of when two people don't belong together but they get married).

If you care about someone, you share in their day and support them. It's important to them and that's what matters.

Yeah I had thought maybe people would think about as similar to when a straight couple marries and they think it's a mistake.

But people aren't donating $1000s of dollars and voting to enact laws that prevent straight people from making mistakes in marrying each other. I would think it would be very odd if on Friday one donated money to a cause with no purpose other than to prevent gay people from marrying and then on Saturday they attended a gay wedding and said "Congrats on your marriage. Wish you the best." My brain, at least, couldn't handle that kind of contradiction.

Plus as far as I understand, some people just don't even acknowledge marriages between same-sex couples. So it's not that they think it's a mistake--they just think it is not possible for a same-sex couple to be married in the first place. How can you congratulate someone on a marriage when you don't actually believe that they are, in fact, married?

 

[sunnyday123]

My gay friends are fun so I'm sure their wedding/civil union/committment ceremony would be a hoot. Who cares, as long as they are in a happy, loving relationship.

I don't oppose gay marriage. I truly believe they should have the opportunity to be as misreable as the rest of us!!

JUST KIDDING!!! All marriages aren't bad!

 

[Ember]

I don't believe in God, but I still attend the weddings of my Christian friends. I'm not Hindu either, and I sat through my best friends 4 hour ceremony. I do support gay marriage, but if I didn't I hope I would be a good enough person to suck it up and wish my friend (whom I'm assuming I care about) a happy marriage.

I've known couples whose marriage I didn't support at all. A friend of mine married an alcoholic. I thought my friend was utterly stupid for marrying this idiot. I also realized it wasn't my life, nothing I had to say about it was going to change things, she was going to do it with or without my approval, and I attended and wished them well. (Of course, I still hope she'll come to her senses, and I'll be there for her when she does.)

 

[kydisneyfans]

I would find a football game to watch instead.

 

[DISUNC]

I would get myself a babysitter and a really nice outfit. Go and have a great time. I would be so happy for my friend that they found the person they want to share their life with.

...and hope everything works out for them.

Disboards 40 years ago....

"What would you do when you are invited to a Wedding where the couple are of different faiths"


Disboards 30 years ago....

"What would you do when you are invited to a Wedding where the couple already lived together"

Disboards 25 years ago....

"What would you do when you are invited to a Wedding where the couple are different Races"

Disboards 20 years ago....

"What would you do when you are invited to a Wedding where the Bride was pregnant"

Disboards 10 years ago....

"What would you do when you are invited to a Wedding where the couples child was the Ring Bearer and/or Flower Girl"

Disboards 25 years from now....

"What would you do when you are invited to a Wedding where the couples are Interplanetary species"

 

[BusyMom2Three]

Hey, let's pretend the internet existed during segregation: do you think this thread would be about what to do if invited to an inter-racial wedding? Now that would be pretty silly, wouldn't it?

Since standing in judgment and infringing on other people's equal rights is against my Christian values I would attend the wedding as I would any wedding a friend or family member invited me to. Oh, and some branches of Christianity, such as Episcopalianism, condone gay marriage, and even have gay preachers and bishops. Just an interesting tidbit...

 

[raysnkaysmom]

...and hope everything works out for them.

Disboards 40 years ago....

"What would you do when you are invited to a Wedding where the couple are of different faiths"


Disboards 30 years ago....

"What would you do when you are invited to a Wedding where the couple already lived together"

Disboards 25 years ago....

"What would you do when you are invited to a Wedding where the couple are different Races"

Disboards 20 years ago....

"What would you do when you are invited to a Wedding where the Bride was pregnant"

Disboards 10 years ago....

"What would you do when you are invited to a Wedding where the couples child was the Ring Bearer and/or Flower Girl"

Disboards 25 years from now....

"What would you do when you are invited to a Wedding where the couples are Interplanetary species"

haha...so true

 

[BusyMom2Three]

...and hope everything works out for them.

Disboards 40 years ago....

"What would you do when you are invited to a Wedding where the couple are of different faiths"


Disboards 30 years ago....

"What would you do when you are invited to a Wedding where the couple already lived together"

Disboards 25 years ago....

"What would you do when you are invited to a Wedding where the couple are different Races"

Disboards 20 years ago....

"What would you do when you are invited to a Wedding where the Bride was pregnant"

Disboards 10 years ago....

"What would you do when you are invited to a Wedding where the couples child was the Ring Bearer and/or Flower Girl"

Disboards 25 years from now....

"What would you do when you are invited to a Wedding where the couples are Interplanetary species"

Looks like we were thinking the same thing!

 

[Family Fun Mom]

Yup. And if I were gay and had relatives who opposed gay marriage, I wouldn't want them in my life, either.

That's so open-minded.

 

[Family Fun Mom]

Family members disapproving of one's choice of mate is nothing new. I'd handle it the way I'd handle anyone marrying someone I didn't necessarily approve of. I'd keep my mouth shut, attend the wedding, smile, give them a gift, and wish them well.

 

[Golf4food]

Don't go?

 

[smartestnumber5]

That's so open-minded.

I guess you are a gay person who remains close to family members who think that your relationship is worth less respect and that your family should have less rights than they do?

Funny, I always thought you were a woman and your signature says you are married to man. But clearly you must personally have had the experience we are talking about here--of having your relationship, your children been seen as less worthy of respect and dignity. Otherwise I wouldn't think you'd be in a place where you could comment on how people who do have that experience ought to be more open-minded about the people who are supposed to love them treating them like as inferior.

 

[veraletta]

Being a friend I would want to go to celebrate their special day.
I don’t always agree with my friends and that’s okay.

 

[genius118899]

I'd go. I disagree with the lifestyle, but because I love and respect them, I'd go.

 

[Cool-Beans]

I don't have this issue, but if I did I'd send my regrets without explaining anything.

Nobody would need to hear why I was unable to attend. I might have another wedding to attend, I might not approve of the marriage, whatever.

 

[rentayenta]

Well hopefully one would realize the day is about the happy couple and not what the person approves or disapproves of.

 

[FSUDisneyGirl]

Of course I would go!

But, then again, I think discrimination of any kind is wrong, so I wouldn't have that opposing viewpoint in the first place...

 

[smartestnumber5]

Don't go?

Well you see I keep hearing about how there are so many people out there who just love gay people--they have SO many gay friends. (You know--even Palin had to throw in the line about how she has such a close friend who is a lesbian at the VP debate.**) And they have no ill will toward gay people at all. They just think gay people are entitled to the same rights as straight people when it comes to marriage.

So I would think with all that love of the gays going on, people wouldn't be refusing to go to the weddings of their friends and family members.

I guess this whole "love" and "friendship" thing is a little different for some than it is for me.

** I find it interesting that there seem to be lots of straight people who oppose gay marriage and say they have very close gay friends who they just love to death (despite thinking their relationship is inferior). Being pretty immersed in a gay community, though, I've never known anyone who takes him/herself to be a close friend to a straight person who thinks they should be legally discriminated against. Sure I've heard talk of "that homophobic woman at work who I try to remain civil with" or "my mom who prays daily that I'll suddenly turn straight". Can't say, though, that I ever hear anything like "This is my BFF Suzy. I just love her to death. I've never had a better friend. She won't be attending one of the most important events of my life though and she doesn't recognize my wife as my wife because we're gay." It's kind of odd. Maybe it's generational though? Maybe older gay people had less options in terms of having friends who actually fully accept them. I don't know.

 

[Angelhalo]

If I were against it. I would just decline the invitation. I wouldn't explain why, I think that would be rude beyond belief. Simply rsvp no thanks and move on with life.

Thank goodness, I'm not so I'd be providing the biggest gift, crying in sheer joy, and wishing them the same luck that others wished me at my straight wedding. Because they deserve it!