What do I tell my sister.......

[birdiesunshine]

About how much money to give to our stepsister tomorrow for her wedding? My DH and I are giving $300.00, but my Sister is a 21 yr old starving college student. What do you suggest?

Thanks.

 

[birdiesunshine]

ok. let me re-phrase, she's really not starving, but you get my drift.

 

[workinggal]

Why not give a gift instead of cash?

 

[birdiesunshine]

Good idea, but the wedding is tomorrow and it's already 5pm. What kind of gift? What price range? This is why I always give money. I can't ponder these things.

 

[Kallison]

A nice frame
A nice cookbook
One of my favorite gifts which was inexpensive - a set of two little salt and pepper shakers so when you have a dinner party you can put them at both ends

Let me tell you when we opened our gifts I was so sick of wine decanters, cheese boards (they must have been big in the 80's) brass candlesticks. Someone gave us a handcrafted pottery by Native American bowl and I was so excited.

Try to think of stuff they enjoy, I'm sure she can think of something that doesn't cost a lot. How about film and a nice photo album for their honeymoon gifts.

AFter 20 years I can't remember much I got that stood out in my mind except those two gifts above. I didn't really care about the cost of gifts, I was just happy to share the day with family and friends. Hopefully your stepsis will feel the same way.

 

[onecoolmama]

There are really pretty crystal vases and things on sale all the time at departemtn stores. She could run there and find something nice and inexpensive.

Or what if she takes pictures at the wedding than does a really nice collage for them. Or puts them all in a photo album for them.

 

[CEDmom]

Would you consider having her add whatever she could swing to what you're giving and have it from all 3 of you? If that's not an option there isn't any rule that says she has to give them a gift on the day of the wedding. She could go to a nice outlet within the next week or so and get them something that looks pricey but really isn't and give it to the couple when they return from their honeymoon. One of our most favorite and most used gifts was a pretty wool throw blanket that we'd snuggle under on the couch .

 

[Sirius]

How about a gift card to Target, Linens-n-things, Bed Bath and Beyond, Pier One...some place like that.

My DW received several of those and she loved them.

 

[minniecarousel]

Is this wedding on short notice? Did they register anywhere? Did they request cash only? You are not required to bring a gift to the wedding. It is usually sent to either the bride or the grooms home before the wedding, but can be sent (or given) to them after.

 

[Saffron]

Do the bride or groom bake or cook? There are all kinds of inexpensive but cool kitchen gadgets that someone might not buy for themselves, like a pizza stone, a kind of round stone to bake pizza on. LOL! They run about $20.00 - $50.00 dollars. Any local malls should have department stores or kitchen gadgets stores that she can find cool things.

How about something like a Bed, Bath and Beyond store where she can get a set of expensive, but not too expensive for her, bed linens? Luxorious, huge bath sheets they can wrap in after a hot bath or shower? Two would be maybe in the $40.00 dollar range?

 

[Tiggeroo]

I second the, let her add $25. to your gift and sign your card. I think $25. is sufficient for a college student.

 

[Winka]

Yes, what about the registry?

And typically, the gift need not be purchased before the wedding itself...gifts can be sent after the event.

Perhaps things are different where you are, but if she does get a gift...don't bring it to the event, have it sent.

 

[birdiesunshine]

Thanks for all the help. When my sis gets here, I am having her read all your posts and make her own decision.

 

[Talking Hands]

Since a wedding gift can be given after the event here are some ideas

1. collection of recipes that are family favorites in a nice notebook or box.

2. an album of pictures of family, friends and pets

3. a set of no-sew fleece blankets for the two of them that coordinated with their new home. pillows to match as a added touch.

4. a basket with kitchen utensils that they normally might not buy for themselves.

5. something for an activity they enjoy doing as a couple

 

[MScott1851]

Maybe DH and I are freaks, but we really appreciated the cash and the gift cards. We had lived both on our own and together, so we had two if not three of everything. So most of our friends and family went the cash/gift card route.

I did not enjoy getting nineteen pieces of crystal crap because I didn't want it...If I had, I would have registered for it. Don't get me wrong, I really, really appreciated and was touched by the gesture and the fact that people had cared enough to go out and buy us something ...but I had no use, or space for it. There's a big joke among me and my girlfriends that we are all just secretly re-gifting these bowls, candlesticks, etc..

 

[katerkat]

Originally posted by MScott1851
There's a big joke among me and my girlfriends that we are all just secretly re-gifting these bowls, candlesticks, etc..

....I am. We really have no use for all those crystal bowls and vases (especially at the rate that the movers break stuff), so I've been very carefully regifting them.

As for the OP, if there's registry, order off that. It's actually really difficult to arrange the transport of a lot of gifts at the wedding, especially if the wedding isn't near the bride & groom's home. I would have appreciated a few more of the gifts to have been shipped or dropped off at our place before or after the wedding! I've ordered off the registry on the day of the wedding, and the week after.

 

[JVL1018]

Originally posted by MScott1851
Maybe DH and I are freaks, but we really appreciated the cash and the gift cards. We had lived both on our own and together, so we had two if not three of everything. So most of our friends and family went the cash/gift card route.

I did not enjoy getting nineteen pieces of crystal crap because I didn't want it...If I had, I would have registered for it. Don't get me wrong, I really, really appreciated and was touched by the gesture and the fact that people had cared enough to go out and buy us something ...but I had no use, or space for it. There's a big joke among me and my girlfriends that we are all just secretly re-gifting these bowls, candlesticks, etc..

Where I live it is extremely unusual to get anything BUT cash(or GC) for a wedding.
The registry is used for the bridal shower only in most cases.
We got two non-monetary gifts at our wedding out of 170 guests. The ones who gave the gifts were not from this country, originally.
I did appreciate the gifts, of course, just noting that it is not customary here.
It never crosses my mind to do anything but write a check.
As for how much, if I was strapped for cash, I'd do $75 or so.

 

[kylara]

While it is usual in many places for people to give money, I did get a few gifts from some of my friends who did not have a lot of spare cash to give. Two who were on the tightest budgets gave home made gift baskets. One loves to back, so she baked a bunch of cookies, added some candy, and other sweets for us to take with us for snacks on the honeymoon.

Another friend decided to go with a booze theme. He bought a book with a number of different drink recipes and then a couple of sets of diffent drink glasses (used some of the fun colored ones that are plastic for outdoor use) and put a couple of small mixers and the small little bottles of liquor. He put it all in a little cooler for a nice outdoor party theme (actually his girlfriend put it all together). We knew it didn't cost them a lot, but we really appreciated the work put into it.

 

[Kallison]

Oh ya I forgot someone who was a starving college student at our wedding gave us a cooler and picnic tablecloth, we still use both. And we also got an inexpensive duffel bag that we still take on every trip 20 years later. I second the notion about the crystal crap! I regifted a lot of my wedding gifts to co-workers bridal showers - hee hee.

 

[MScott1851]

We did get some VERY cool gift basket type things..

One was a huge picnic basket with red checkered napkins, a chef's hat, BBQ tools, some marinade, a meat thermometer, mitts, wooden skewers, corn holders, etc and a GC from Kroger. Definitely useful.

We also got lots of "liquor baskets" at our Stock the Bar party, like one was a margarita one that had mix, Tequila, limes, salt, a little knife, margarita glasses, and a little cactus. Another had a shaker, martini glasses, a jar of olives, and some gin and a mister in it.

Our friends were very creative...I've actually stolen some of these ideas myself for housewarming parties. But my usual shower/wedding gift is a place setting of china.