What age to start dating?

[BibbidyBobbidyBoo]

Originally posted by Son of the Morning
13. Maybe 12.

Simply put, the hormones kick in, and the desire is there: The best you can do is teach responsibility. To outright deny a young teenager his or her desire to date will only come back to bite you in the *** as a parent later on, I promise you. Kids are smart: They'll work around you, and get together with the people they want to at school, and simply not tell you about it. In this case, then, you'll be setting a dangerous precedent of a perceived need to "keep things" from the parent.

Maybe 12 to DATE? Do you know what the word date means? How do you think a 12yr old is going to "work around you" to get together and simply not tell the parent about it? If they can do that- then the parent isn't doing their job. Here it's even ILLEGAL (in Texas) for a child to be left alone even at home under the age of 13.... that says a lot to me and it certainly says that no 12yr old should be able to get together with people and simply not tell you about it- because you are supposed to be with them supervising them and not leaving them alone!

I think the idea of having to let a child at the age of 12 to date "or else it will come back to haunt you is WRONG WRONG WRONG... totally wrong way to parent, IMO.

 

[Keli]

We didn't let our dd start dating until she was 16 years old. She really didn't push it and try to get us to let her date earlier but she did have her first date on her 16th birthday lined up two months in advance, lol.

 

[Pin Wizard]

I'm not putting an age limit on my son...thanks to my parents' huge mistake! They wouldn't let me or my sisters date until we were 15. The old...your sisters didn't date until 15 so you can't either. This is a real sore spot with me because I met a boy in 8th grade. He asked me out 1st year of hs, but I didn't date him because of my parents. Well, we came across each other again in our late 30s. And we BOTH feel we missed it!!!!!!!!!! He's currently married and I'm not. No, I'm not limiting my son to some ridiculous age. I'm still ticked at my parents for this one. It possibly could have changed the outcome of my life.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Originally posted by BibbidyBobbidyBoo
I mean they can drive but not date? it makes no sense- if trustworthy/mature enough for one, then trustworthy/mature enough for the other.

Well, it makes more sense to me than allowing the 18 year olds to go off to war but not have a drink.

 

[CourtasanSatine]

I started solo dated at 16 but was allowed to start 6 months early since my parents liked my HS BF.I stopped having curfew senior year(I turned 18 at the start of senior year)

 

[Rock'n Robin]

Yes I think the definition of dating needs to be clear. My 12 year old DD has "gone with" 2 boys this year--but only seen them at school, and no phone calls or "can I go to his house and watch movies". Most of the kids her age around here are on the same short tether and the moms have no qualms if they see something inappropriate. The thought of her dating (meaning alone with a boy at a movie or whatever) at this age sickens me. I have two 10th graders who just "celebrated" their 3 year anniversaries with their boyfriends--meaning they started in 7th grade. Both boys are real losers but the girls are pretty needy and it seems like "as long as he loves me" kind of thing. HS kids have no perspective on this IMHO. As a HS teacher I see it much more objectively and the answer is still 16.
Robin M.

 

[Mercy]

Well, I'm not a strong solo dating advocate. My DS's almost 17 and 14 have never been encouraged to solo date, I do think going out in groups is fine though.

I was 16 at one time and I know what 16 year olds do when left alone... and I'd be a naive (sp?) parent to think otherwise.

 

[missyc]

I agree that kids are starting all of this way too young. My first boyfriend was when I was a junior in HS. Neither of us even had a drivers licence! We were together for a long time after school too.
I just found out a few days ago that my DS10 (11 in 1 month) has a "girlfriend"! Wow, I didn't even know he liked girls that much! They are both in 5th grade but she's almost a year older since he has a summer b-day. It's too funny! Boys aren't allowed to call her house so she calls here several times/day! It's so weird!
As far as alone dating....forget it until highschool. He already knows he will get his driverse license at 16, but will only drive with me. No friends or girls until he's VERY much older. Plan on playing that one by ear. Teens really can't be trusted in a car.
All the trouble I got in (especially with boys) was out in cars, even though I wasn't the driver. I'm so lucky I wasn't killed or pregnant before I even graduated from highschool!
Kids growing up is so scary

 

[Jasminesmommy]

My husband told my 6 year old daughter no dating till 16 and no kissing to 20. She will tell you to when you ask her.