Were you spanked as a child? Do you spank your kids?

[Mad4Mickey]

I was raised by Grandma who is blind so not only did I get spanked but.... I had to go and get the houseshoe and then put her hand on my rear so she could do it

No I did not feel unloved or anything . I used to really do things sometimes that I knew I was not allowed to do thinkins she couldnt" see" me LOL

My DD who will be 24 was only spanked 1 time in her life and it was her daddy.

I was a light pincher , a light pinch to the baack of her brothers arm always got his attention . She never needed it

 

[Inigo]

I was spanked a lot as a kid. I was switched quite often too. All the hittings went as far as abuse. I really think my parents and brother got off on abusing me. And no, I don't have a relationship with any of those people now. My children have never met my parents or brothers.

I have never hit my children. Ever. No spankings at all. I think using fear and harm on a child is extremely wrong. Would you like it if you screwed up at work, and your boss hit you?

My kids are extremely well behaved. They are two of the best behaved children I've ever been around. Both are polite.

With my kids, I'd remove them from the situation, and set them down. As they got older, I would count. I have no idea what happens when I get to three, because my kids always quit by the time I got to two. Maybe I was just lucky to get the best kids in the world, but they are well behaved. We've discussed things a lot. My kids are smart enough to know how to behave, and why.

 

[aristocatz]

Yes, I was spanked as a kid. I did spank my kids a few times, but they were for extreme safety violations that they'd been warned about.

That's the only time I would spank. I would rather my child feel a little spank inflicted by me, if it stopped them from engaging in an unsafe behavior that would lead to alot more pain in the future.

 

[Tigger2252]

I was spanked when I was a child. It was always after being warned that I was going to get a spanking if my behavior continued. My mom always carried out whatever punishment she said you were in for, so if a got a spanking I brought it on myself. I didn't suffer any emotional or physical scars from them. I spanked my kids with an open hand on the bottom after verbal warnings, but can honestly count on one hand the number of times I have had to resort to it. Generally the warning was enough because they knew I would follow through. Neither one have emotional issues because of it.

 

[Pigeon]

No, I wasn't spanked and no, we don't hit our children. There are plenty of effective ways to discipline a child without resorting to violence.

My husband was spanked as a child, and he was adament that we never hit our kids. He still resents his mother for it, and his father for allowing it, as do all of his brothers.

 

[Took]

If this were true, then the vast majority of children who were raised in the 50's would all have poor relationships with their parents; would have lower than average intelligence; and long standing mental health issues.. I can see where this might happen with abuse, but an open hand on a child's bottom - used sparingly and for serious infractions -is about as far from abuse as one can get..

It's a "blanket" statement - drawn from generalized studies.. Every single person walking this earth has their own individual personality - unlike any other individual.. Unless these studies have encompassed all of them, it doesn't carry much validity..

In fact, a study done some years back (2001?) by Dr. Diana Baumrind (who is fairly opposed to spanking herself) concluded that studies liking mild spanking with permanent damage are highly flawed. Abuse and spanking, concluded Baumrind, are just not the same thing.

I think with most kids, alternatives to spanking work much better, but an occasional swat seems fairly in line with the kind of physical discipline lots of animal moms (and, where applicable, dads) dish out to their young, at least, if my 40+ years of watching Nature is any indication.

As to the religious/political connection, I don't clearly see that the folks here are "falling in" with the supposed stances directed by their parties/churches. It seems pretty apolitical on this thead, actually.

 

[Tooblessed]

Yes I was spanked and yes I spank my kids.

 

[PaulaSue]

I was and I don't.

 

[FSUDisneyGirl]

I was not spanked as a kid, I think my brother was spanked 2 or 3 times in his life. My boyfriend was spanked and he seems to think he deserved what he got, but it seems to me that he was spanked too often, and his mother was just lazy and reactive to his behavior.

I will most likely not spank my kids, but I can see a quick swat on the bottom- more to get a child's attention in a dangerous situation than anything else. I guess the only reason I consider it is that my best friend's mom spanked, and I see her as one of the most amazing and kind women I've ever met. She only spanked when her girls were giving her "sass" and after warning them multiple times. They got the picture but they are amazing kids and loved beyond belief.

 

[corndog]

DD6 - Never
DD2.5 - Quite often. There's nothing we can do to reach her. It's so frustrating, especially after having the "perfect child" come before her.

 

[jewjubean]

Nope I am 20 years old and I was NEVER whipped, dont plan on it anytime soon either.
My momma scared the bejebers out of me so that I was afraid of what a "belt whippin" was.
I turned out okay. Nothing wrong with a slap every now and then if thats what works.

 

[Planogirl]

I was very rarely spanked and I don't feel the least bit bad about it. Some of the verbal abuse from my mother was much worse.

I have never actually spanked except for a few swats on the hand to keep DS from grabbing something.

 

[AustinTink]

Yes, I was. And, no, I don't. My son is very well behaved and has never warranted any kind of harsh punishment. I'm very lucky.

 

[TheGoofster]

I think I was probably spanked at least once for everything under the sun - but never twice for the same thing. It only took one good spanking for me to quickly learn - It's not worth it to do that again. If my parents had sent me to my room for doing something bad (or dumb) I would probably have laughed the whole time (while planning to do it again). It's too bad that I didn't realize at the time that instead of teaching me to obey and respect authority they were actually "abusing" me. Boy I could have gotten some good use out of that.
Me - "Wait Dad, you shouldn't spank me, because according to the experts, you are only teaching me that you really don't like me, and are scarring me for life"
Dad - "Oh really?"
Me - "Yeah really"
Dad - "Whatever" - WHACK!!!
10 minutes later:
Dad - "Hey son, want to play catch?"
Me - "Sure, sounds great!...Oh wait a minute, I can't, I'm supposed to hate you now"

As to the second part of the question - NO, I've never hit my kids. But I have spanked them quite often. It's funny how it works. My kids disobeyed, they got a warning, they disobeyed again, they got a spanking. A few minutes later we are best friends again, and the whole incident is long forgotten (the disobedience was immediately dealt with, and we moved on). I suppose it's possible that I scarred them for life as well, but if so, they are pretty good actors, because they are doing a good job of hiding it by pretending to be very well behaved, and happy kids. They'll probably keep it all bottled up until a psychiatrist helps them to "remember" just how unhappy they really are thanks to those barbaric spankings they got.

 

[enchantingodin]

Yes I was spanked AND hit. Always out of anger. I remember it a lot. A few instances stick out in my mind. One I remember being 11 and my mom slapped me across the face. (A small side point, I was an early developer and I was 5'6" by age 11 - now I'm 5'7".) I slapped her right back and stood my ground. She never hit me again after that.

For my own children (6 & 5 year old boys) - When we're at home; First - they get a verbal warning. Second - they get sent to their room for a time out (one minute per age). Third - Scolding. Sometimes, especially my oldest, screams and has a fit when he gets into trouble. So I go up to his room and ask him WHY he's in trouble and IF what he did was the right or nice thing - the time out starts all over again. Usually that's the end of it. But if they continue with the screaming I swat them on the butt.

When we're out; I honestly have little patience for poorly behaved children in public. Which in most cases has to do with poor parenting... but I digress. So I try to make sure MY kids are little angels out and about, and for the most part they are. When we get somewhere, before we even get out of the car we explain what we expect out of them. First - If they act up, verbal warning. Second - If they act up again I ask them, "Do I need to take you to the bathroom for an attitude adjustment?" Again, usually the end of it. Third - we go have an attitude adjustment.

So out of all that I think I've spanked my eldest about 3 times. All at home. My youngest once at home and we've had several bathroom scoldings and one spank.

They always know WHY they are getting spanked, and they get ample warnings to correct their behavior before I will ever raise a hand to them.

 

[Jen_in_NH]

Yes, I was spanked. I'm certainly no worse for the wear, and from the times I remember it, I certainly deserved it (ie - slamming my sister's fingers in the door on purpose, etc)

My son has been spanked a few times. Not for stupid toddler stuff, but for dangerous stuff. Like, don't leave the house and head for the road (WHY did I shhow him how to open the door ), or don't go to the river when we're playing outside. Things that could get him hurt if he doesn't listen.

 

[MissRoseDarrensAngel]

Yes, I was spanked and hit as a child then as a teen & as a young adult more by my mother with a nice helping of verbal/emotional abuse & lectures at times. My father sometimes spanked and hit me some when I was a minor child but I know he wouldn't have done so if my mother didn't make him. I don't recall any times being spanked & stuff in a public setting, it was mainly at home. My mother (who grew up in the 50's - with a good amount of physical and emotional punishments) also perfected "the look" as well. I even remember having to write a certain amount of times "I will not *do this*" from time to time too. Sometimes I had quitely with no books or toys for a certain period of time then put my nose on the door - there were two large chairs to block the view of the tv in the living room.

I have no children of my own. I do mind my sister's kids from time to time. A stern look and a few words work well when they are bad under my watch - nothing that is considered verbal/emotional abuse I use due to my past experiences. Seldom, I do use time outs with them. I won't spank them - thats reserved for their parents if they choose.

 

[MoniqueU]

Yes I was, yes I did and I don't think it was effective for anything other then dangerous situations. I also don't think time outs work, just look at the holy terrors John and Katrs kids are. The think I feel worked best on my kids was getting down on their level grabbing both their hands and saying loudly abd firmly NO flollowed by as extensive of an explanation as they could understand.

 

[meandmytwogirls]

I was spanked and I deserved it and it worked. I occasionally have to spank my daughter and it works for her also!!

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

This thread reminds me of a statistic I just read, which stated that 50% of adults would define their relationship with their parents as "poor or non-existent."