Were you spanked as a child? Do you spank your kids?

[BeachGirlFLA]

yes i was spanked - but being spanked wasn't the worst, it was the other forms of physical/mental/verbal abuse my father inflicted on me

i have never spanked my son

I could have written that first paragraph.
Yes, for certain offenses, I will spank if I ever have children of my own but that is where it stops...no hitting with the buckle part of a belt, no slapping across the face, and no telling them "take it like a woman" like my dad did to me when I was 13, had talked back, and wouldn't get out of the back seat of the car because I knew I was going to be slapped across the face.

 

[tonilea]

Yes, I was.

I have spanked DS and I am not against the practice of spanking, but other forms of dicipline seem to work better for DS. He just doesn't seem to care if he gets swatted.

 

[skuttle]

I don't remember ever being spanked.

We've never spanked DS.

Although, DS does believe that he will be paddled by the principal at school if he ever gets blue for the day...he doesn't know we signed the "no paddle" form.

 

[denisenh]

i was "belted" as a child. my dh was quite physically abused/ beat up as a child.
We do not and have not spanked our children. i honestly think that it would hurt us more than it would them. we also have good, behaved children.

 

[C.Ann]

Guess I'll throw in my two cents now..

I was spanked by my dad on occasion.. Open hand.. Always deserved.. Loved the man more than life itself.. No emotional scars..

Beaten by my mom - with anything she could get her hands on - for absolutely crazy stuff.. (Like talking to her after 9:30 at night..) She was very, very high strung and would blow up at the drop of a hat.. I still love her - but I do have emotional scars.. I will be 60 in the fall - she will be turning 91 (and is still violent) and I still cannot be in the same room with her without being afraid.. Just thinking about it makes my stomach quiver..

If you compare the difference between my mom and dad, you can clearly see how one was not traumatic and the other was..

I spanked 2 out of my 3 children.. Open hand - on the bottom - and not very often.. None are emotionally scarred, they don't feel devalued, and they don't have any residual fear of me - like I have with my mom..

DGD (11) has never been spanked.. There's never been a situation that called for it..

There's a world of difference between spanking and beating and contrary to what any expert will tell you, every child is different - every child in the world has a different personality and will respond (or not respond) to things in a different way.. Therefore there is no way of determining that "xyz" will work with "all" children..

 

[Jennasis]

I was spanked as a cihld. Just me...not my sisters. The fact that I was the only one who was hit upsets me more than the hitting itself. I wasn't a bad kid. Twice I got what I would describe as a beating, and too many times to count, my mother would grab me by the hair and drag me around/shake me.

My mom had issues.

 

[jamimb]

Guess I'll throw in my two cents now..

I was spanked by my dad on occasion.. Open hand.. Always deserved.. Loved the man more than life itself.. No emotional scars..

Beaten by my mom - with anything she could get her hands on - for absolutely crazy stuff.. (Like talking to her after 9:30 at night..) She was very, very high strung and would blow up at the drop of a hat.. I still love her - but I do have emotional scars.. I will be 60 in the fall - she will be turning 91 (and is still violent) and I still cannot be in the same room with her without being afraid.. Just thinking about it makes my stomach quiver..

If you compare the difference between my mom and dad, you can clearly see how one was not traumatic and the other was..

I spanked 2 out of my 3 children.. Open hand - on the bottom - and not very often.. None are emotionally scarred, they don't feel devalued, and they don't have any residual fear of me - like I have with my mom..

DGD (11) has never been spanked.. There's never been a situation that called for it..

There's a world of difference between spanking and beating and contrary to what any expert will tell you, every child is different - every child in the world has a different personality and will respond (or not respond) to things in a different way.. Therefore there is no way of determining that "xyz" will work with "all" children..

I always thought you were a smart lady!

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

That is not a spanking - that is assault and battery...

Oh how true, I got beat up, not spanked or slapped. Its funny because I never got hit because of behavior, because I was too afraid to do anything wrong, it was like whatever was going on, my mother took it out on me.

The good that came out of all this, was I didn't repeat this with my kids.

 

[Took]

No spankings, but I did have my face pushed into a bowl of chicken pot pie one night when I was complaining too much.

One of the saddest things about our deciding not to have kids is I will never get to do this to one of my own. My father's unique parenting tactics on that night deserve homage.

I just snorted coca-cola! OMG, I love the "homage" idea.

To answer OP, 1) yes, and 2) not more than one or two light taps (almost "pro forma") and it felt silly. She was a really easy kid and still requires little "discipline" from me, just guidance mostly. But I don't judge the spankers. From what I've read, spanking or using other discipline methods are both okay as long as they're used consistently with a clear sense of whose in charge.

took

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

I can count on one hand how many times I was spanked, I will say the few times it happened it was 100% deserved.

 

[themilesfamily]

1) I was spanked/belted as a child. I was such a shy, withdrawn kid already and that form of punishment was devastating to me. I have memories of running from my dad when he was getting ready to spank me. It was terrifying.

2) I don't spank my child. There were numerous times when she was going through the "terrible-twos" and threes -- when I was so tired and frustrated that I just wanted to smack her. It just seemed like such an easy form of punishment. And I am SOOOO glad I never did. She is five now and is such a smart, kind, loving, wonderful kid. And we have the best mother/daughter relationship. I just think hitting her during the bad times would have negatively impacted that relationship.

For those who feel pressured by a spouse or relatives to spank -- don't give in to it if you feel it's not right for your child. There are scads of studies that show physical punishment has a negative impact on parent/child relationships, a child's intelligence, a child's mental health, etc. The vast majority of professionals do not consider spanking the best form of punishment.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

For those who feel pressured by a spouse or relatives to spank -- don't give in to it if you feel it's not right for your child. There are scads of studies that show physical punishment has a negative impact on parent/child relationships, a child's intelligence, a child's mental health, etc. The vast majority of professionals do not consider spanking the best form of punishment.

I don't know if I'd agree with the intelligence part, but I would agree that for some children the rest are true. I would also say that spanking/physical punishment for a female after a certain age makes her more likely to accept physical/emotional abuse from a romantic partner as an adult (speaking from personal experience.)

 

[ICF]

yes and yes

same here

 

[Disney Doll]

I was spanked probably about 5 times as a kid. Because it was infrequently used, it was quite effective to make their point. I don't think it scarred me permanently.

I don't have kids.

 

[AshleyW]

I was spanked a couple times as a kid. Each and every time - I deserved it. It was usually just a couple smacks on my bottom, and then, lesson learned. I grew up just fine and love my parents.

My fiance was spanked as a kid, once with a belt - and I'm SURE he deserved it, I've heard the horror stories about him as a kid But, then again, he grew up in Mississippi with corporal punishment - and his parents never signed the "no paddle" forms, and he got it in school a couple times. But, he's grown up to be a good guy with no trauma from getting spanked.

I don't have kids, but when/if I do, they'll get spanked if there's ever a reason for it.

 

[Laugh O. Grams]

no & no.

 

[richmond282]

Yes, I was spanked and I do not feel unloved or devalued. That's crazy. My parents also did not spank me because they are lazy. They did it because it works.

Yes, I spank my DD. This is not her only form of punishment, though. We reserve it for when she is blatantly defying us. She also recieves time-outs and loss of priviledges.

 

[cristit14]

I remember getting swatted on the leg a few times as a kid,usually seem to involve long car rides with my brother.

I have swatted my own kids a few times on the behind when they were little.

THey seem pretty well adjusted.

 

[allison443]

My parents did not spank.

We have never spanked our three kids.

 

[LindaG4458]

We don't have any children so we don't spank.

I was a child in the 50s. I was spanked, with a thick brown leather belt, by my father. The only difference between a large and small infraction was the number of swats.

I would have trouble falling asleep as a child (I'm still a night owl.). As punishment he would come up the stairs to my room with the belt and give several swats. I would lie there in terror waiting for it to happen and be over with. It finally stopped one night when I called down to my mother to send my father up with the belt so I could go to sleep.

We were told that we were lucky that we were only spanked and not beaten like firends of the family.