Paula! Hope your day gets better.
Pam makes mental note to call Paula and remind her that we are to NEVER let Tara talk to our daughters about the "good old days of college life!" 
Oh - and if I ever come on here talking about roasting one of my guys' wild turkeys again - PLEASE SLAP ME UP ALONGSIDE THE HEAD!!
Why do I keep forgetting what a pain-in-the-butt this is for me????
DH got a turkey out of the deep freezer for me to cook. I made sure to ask if it was his or DS's. I believe you all recall that I have issues with the fact that DS does not do a very good job of cleaning his turkeys after he shoots them. DH reassures me that he did - and I quote him - "an excellent job on the bird."
HA! Half an hour later I have plucked feathers and gave a complete bath to Tom. DH is out on a story, DD is at her BF's and DS got home from Camp and crawled into bed. I try to hoist Tom into the cooking bag and place him in the roaster pan.
HA! Houston, we have a problem. Tom is a pretty good sized dude. And he's a still a little wet - and he's slippery. Did I mention that Gunny has rushed to the kitchen to assist me??
I do a madcap dance across the kitchen floor with Tom. (Not quite as good as Drew and Cheryl from Dancing With The Stars - but I give us a 20 out of 30 possible points, it was, afterall, our first Jitterbug dance ever....) Gunny tries to cut in - but he doesn't want to be my dance partner, no-sireee-Bob, he wants to do the Jive with Tom......
I swing Tom by the legs and trip over Gunny. Tom swishes to the left, then a quick jab to the right..... he ends up plastered into the nether-regions of my bosom. I must say - he likes it there - he snuggles up close and stays there -- his bobbing and jumping has subsided. He also makes me soaking wet.... let's just say that I could have entered a Wet T-shirt contest and probably won first place.
I smack Tom on the bottom and thrust him away from my ta-tas. I yell at Gunny to move. I get 5 paper towels and pat Tom dry, and with Goliath brute strength I manage to force him into the cooking bag and pop him in the oven.
I must confess that I felt a little guilty knowing that in a few short hours I will be devouring Tom, after our "connection" and all.....
(Well - a *very* young worker at Cirque du Soleil hit on me last Spring - DD was shocked! He had that lovely French Canadian accent and was cute to boot. 
'nuff said!!! 
See you all Thursday.
break!! A month early this year for some reason.
...
Did your DS make it home safely? We had the cold but not the snow.
Well - it did come with a plastic crown with Mickey Mouse ears. And snowcones in a plastic cup were $10.00 as well. YIKES! I bought a program - $25.00. If I had looked at it before I bought it - I would have rejected it. Very thin in pages - and the photos weren't the greatest. 
I'll behave. I'll say no more. Okay one more... 
