OP--I can understand how the situation felt weird or stressful to you. Like you say, you are not used to this (nor are they). It sounds like, overall, everyone handled it well though and it is great for their child that they are making this effort. I think each gathering is likely to feel less weird and stressful until, in a couple of years, it just feels normal. Similarly, my aunt and uncle went through a NASTY divorce when I was a young teen. For a year or so they were not mature enough to put aside their difference for their son's sake. Then they stopped being selfish and DID. The first gathering was pretty tension filled, but over all it worked which made the next one less stressful and so on and so forth until we got to the point that it was just taken for granted that everyone would be there and there was (is) no tension at all. Now we forget that it is "weird" and end up laughing as we try to explain the now really complicated group that gets together (like the first time my DH was at a family dinner in Texas and I tried to explain who everyone was: my aunt and uncle (her current husband of 20ish years), my uncle (her first husband who was my uncle through my childhood and I still consider him such), my cousin (their child), my 2 other cousins (no blood relation at all, they were the first husband's kids from his first marraige but I grew up with them as cousins living with my aunt and their real dad--her first husband) and "Jane" (the real mother of my not blood related cousins). From the outside looking in it is weird and complicated--all that really matters is that effort went into making it work so all 3 of those kids did not lose any family when the adult relationships broke down and NOW it really does work without any effort at all because that effort was put forth early on and everyone stuck with it until it became natural.
Am I the only one bothered by the word "skids"?
No you are not.
No.
I was wondering if this was a common term in different parts of the country as I have never heard any of my friends call their step-children skids. I was going to ask so glad you brought it up.
Makes me think of a kid's skid mark, which would make it a not very endearing term for a child.
I have lived in many parts of the country and never heard it used in the way this poster uses it. I also thought of skid marks on underwear
They are NOT a family anymore! And to keep up the idea of them being a family is putting false hope in the kids.
False hope that the kids are still family to both parents? False hope that the parents care more about their children's well being than their own petty issues? False hope that people who do not like each other can be civil to one another--or that those who no longer love each other can reach a point where they like each others? If those things are a false hope in your reality then I am happy to stay right here in LALA land.
In MY reality my parents do awesome things like all move into one large house (mom's) for the week--even with the boyfriend there--when I scrape together enough $$ to take the kids and I to visit in Mexico so we can see as much as possible of them in the time we have there. Or, my dad paid for my mother's plane ticket to come see us last year when she was having a rough time financially because he knows how important that is to me and the kids (he can too--at a different time).
In MY reality my son will be attending a birthday party Sunday. It is at the mom's house. Her boyfriend will be there, so will the little boy's dad and HIS girlfriend. I know because I called to ask if they needed help driving to the bowling alley and the four cars will be enough so they do not need extra help.
There certainly are cases where parents just can't (or won't depending) get along. I saw it when teaching and have (rarely) seen it among my children's friends. However, in my experience, that is the EXCEPTION and not the norm.
