Weird Things You've Said .....(Inspired by MosMom)

[swanmom]

What is the WIERDEST thing you've said to your kids? Not lessons your mom taught you or "Keep that refrigerator door closed!"-type stuff. But rather, the really odd stuff that can only occur in families with kids.
I, for one, have found myself actually saying "Green cheerios are not for ears!" or "The cat does not like Vaseline!" and my husband's favorite (said in a fairly exasperated voice....) "All right, in this house, no more doll clothes in the salad spinner...even if they ARE dirty !!"

How about yours?

 

[Jolie C]

"Stop letting the dog lick your teeth!"

 

[faithinkarma]

"Kraft cheese slices are not for making a mosaic on the glass door."

 

[grinningghost]

Very recently I told my daughter - "You really need to learn how to suck up". She gets a bad grade and then walks out without cleaning her room like she was asked. Duh...

The ONLY way to keep the peace with your parents as a teenager is to learn how to suck up. I learned that on my own - SHE needs to be taught.

 

[Stepharoonie!]

"We do not use markers as lipstick."


"We do not stick our head through the railing and spit!"


"We do not show our panties to the world."


"We do not make our spaghetti dance with the breadstick while we're eating."

 

[RitaZ.]

DH told the kids one night that if they didn't go to sleep early, they would have "skeletal strain" the next day due to not getting enough sleep.

 

[TinkBoo&ElliesMum]

The other day it was "Belle stop licking your finger and sticking it in your brothers ear" followed by "Bubba stop biting your sister" to which he replied - "she told me to" Uhhhhhh she's two!! She doesn't make sense all the time!

 

[CEDmom]

"Sissors are only for cutting paper" after DD cut her hair, her shirt and her blanky when she was 3.

"No nakie on the furniture" because for about 6 months if DD had her way she'd never ave worn clothes so this way at least she couldn't sit down unless she had them on.

"No rocks in the house" because whenever we go somewhere if there is a rock around DD will bring it home. We have enough outside that DH and I joke about building a stone wall around the house.

 

[OhMari]

My 21 and 20 year old still laugh at how they thought the mud around the tree was brownie mix and they were so shocked when they finally had the nerve to try it and mom was actually right. They were 3 and 4 years old at the time.

 

[mt2]

"Do you really think a pick-ax is an appropriate toy for our DS (2yrs)" I had to say this to DH. He was doing yard work and didn't realize that DS opened the shed and got it out. He was dragging it on the ground. DH locked the shed door after that.

Happy Thoughts to all

mt2

 

[CamColt]

"Colton, do NOT destroy Disney World!"

"Shut your mouth and eat!"

 

[stinkerbelle]

Originally posted by Jolie C
"Stop letting the dog lick your teeth!"

Umm...I say this to my husband.

heheheh

 

[HollyJoy]

Oh geez, probably way too many to list here! LOL Here are a few:

We do not burp for amusement at the table.
Don't sit like that, it's not ladylike!
Toothpaste does not belong on the wall!

 

[vald1977]

Originally posted by mt2
"Do you really think a pick-ax is an appropriate toy for our DS (2yrs)" I had to say this to DH. He was doing yard work and didn't realize that DS opened the shed and got it out. He was dragging it on the ground. DH locked the shed door after that.

Happy Thoughts to all

mt2

I can so see this happening at my house with dh and ds !

 

[Otto's Doll]

"I don't care what you saw on TV, you may NOT have a pig for a pet" to my DD8.

 

[nkjzmom]

"Walmart is NOT your playground!"

"We can only polish your toes, Zachary....that way no one will see it."

"No riding naked on the rocking horse"

I'm sure there are plenty more....

 

[sunsprinkle24]

"Don't put your sister's clothes on the cat!" When she was about a year old I caught them dressing the cat in one of her dresses!

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

"If you don't stop peeing/pooping on Mommy, I swear to God I will sell you to the gypsies."


As DS is only about 6 weeks old, he is totally unaffected by this and continues to poop/pee on me.

Although...yesterday he managed to pee ON HIMSELF. I was changing him and had his ankles firmly grasped in my left hand while wiping his bottom with my right hand (with a wipe..not my hand). As I hoisted his bottom in to the air to make sure I got all the dirty bits off his bum, he decided it would be a fine time to pee. Only as his willy was pointed at his face and not at me, he managed to not only NOT hit me with it, but hit himself in the eye and possibly the ear. It got in his hair near his ear, so I'm not sure it actually hit him in the ear,but it was close.

TOV

 

[laurie31]

"Don't put ketchup on the dog!" my dds were chasing our white poodle with a bottle of ketchup, for some reason known only to preschoolers...I heard myself say that, and shook my head at the bizarre-ness of it.

and one day my DH came home and said very seriously, "When we were talking on the phone today I heard you say something I didn't like." I couldn't imagine what I'd said that would have been inapporpriate or offensive, so I asked. The statement: "DD! Do not eat the dog food!" LOL! (this was especially gross as doggie ate canned and never finished it all and it sat there and got all gross until I threw it out when I fed her again )

I once was on the phone with a friend while the kids were painting and suddenly exclaimed, "Oh my gosh, my kids are BLUE!" She about freaked, thinking they were having trouble breathing (they don't have asthma but her kids do) until I was able to explain that they'd somehow opened the spill-proof paint jars they were using and smeared blue paint all over themselves. I mean ALL over - they were stark naked and painted blue I only took my eyes off them for a second while I went to change clothes! I thought nothing could happen since they were happily seated at a table quietly painting...with *spill-proof containers* but I guess I should be thankful they didn't drink it or worse.

Oh, and my all-time favortie - "DD! Don't put that dead lightening bug in your bellybutton!"

Laurie

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

ROFLMAO*

What IS it with kids and the compulsion to put things where they really shouldn't?

TOV