Wedding Thread Spin Off - Black Dresses

[Imzadi]

I'm not a superstitious person, but if I was, I'd say it's never appropriate. I've worn black to 2 weddings. Both of them ended in divorce. Yeah, it was all my fault. I kid, but my family has told me that I should stop wearing black to weddings.

This is when only YOU get a handwritten note at the bottom of the invitiation with color choices you must wear to the wedding.

 

[lifesavacation]

I posted in the other thread that I was requested to wear black as the mother of the groom. I’ve never worn black to a wedding before.

As far as funerals, I wore black this summer and was one of very few people who did. I probably will go with navy next time.

 

[Imzadi]

It's fine here to wear black to a wedding. I went to my niece's wedding and wore a nice black dress with black sequinned sleeves. I jazzed it up with sparkly jewelry.

Yes, I think black is okay to wear as long as one glams it up with sparkly jewelry or colorful accessories. You don't want to look dour and "funeral-ish" where people are wondering if you are trying to make a subliminal statement about how you think the marriage will go.

 

[Babs Johnson]

How many times does a mistress get invited to a wedding lol

Didn’t Prince William’s side chick attend his and Kate’s wedding?

 

[Disneylover99]

Real question...do people really pay attention to what colors people wear ANYWHERE, not just weddings. It truly baffles me that there are "color rules" for events. I've never heard that, nor would I ever think to judge or recall what attire someone had on.

I never thought to notice before either, but the next funeral/wedding I go to, I have a feeling I’m going to be analyzing and judging everyone‘s outfit and colour choice. Lol.

 

[tzolkin]

Often weddings here are in the daytime and summer when it feels like 105 degrees.

This is where I see it making sense. If you live in an area where daytime, summery weddings are the norm you are more likely to think black isn't really "appropriate" for the event since most everyone else will be in bright colors, florals, etc. But, if you live in an area where weddings are more formal, in the evening, indoors, you are likely to see a good percentage of guests in black dresses.

Never, ever appropriate to wear black to a wedding. Maybe if it was part of the pattern, but a black dress? That would be seen as a snub to the bride and groom here.

Why read extra meaning into things unless you know 100% for sure the intention behind it?

I could understand if this took place in a small community with very specific cultural rules that everyone followed. But, nowadays people move all over the place and even travel to attend weddings, so it's likely that the guests will be from different places with their own traditions. Based on this thread, three quarters of people have absolutely no idea that there would be any controversy or issue with wearing a black dress to a wedding. So, why would anyone's first thought be, "She must have purposely chosen her outfit to publicly display her disapproval of my wedding" instead of "Oh, she must not know that around here we don't typically wear black to a wedding"?

 

[mjkacmom]

Never, ever appropriate to wear black to a wedding. Maybe if it was part of the pattern, but a black dress? That would be seen as a snub to the bride and groom here.

Here you really stand out if not wearing black to a wedding, it’s the go to color.

 

[AppleDumpling]

Many women here, probably at least half the guests, wear black at a wedding. I like to wear different colors (though I do have a lot of black in my closet). My mom told me that in her generation (she was married in the 1950’s), it was considered inappropriate, but that has definitely changed.

Years ago, I went to a wedding where the bridesmaids wore beautiful, elegant black gowns. Not uncommon at all. What I didn’t care for was the black flowers they had (silk black roses with a touch of white), which seemed a bit morbid. Bright colorful bouquets would’ve been a better choice, IMO.

 

[AnnaS]

Lot's/most black dresses for evening/formal wear here. All the weddings I have been to, I wear 99%of the time a black dress (some fancier than others).

Earlier/Barn type of places/depending on venue - the other 1% - not a black dress

 

[Brian Noble]

I've had two nephews married in the space of a couple years. One was an evening wedding in a city, at a venue that is sort of in the "modern loft" vibe. The LBD is perfect for that.

The other will be an afternoon wedding in August at a rural "farm" venue (fancy barn, lovely landscape, that sort of thing) where a sundress-like-substance will be much more appropriate.

So, I would not rule out black a priori, but as others have said, depends on the vibe.

 

[leebee]

I was taught that black is inappropriate at a wedding as it's what you wear for mourning, and of course no white as that's what the bride wears. I think that's interesting, as I've read that the tradition of bridesmaids was so that the evil spirits couldn't identify the bride and bring down bad luck; the bride AND the bridesmaids therefore wore white.

Oh- and no red; that's what "fast women" wore. Sometimes being from New England with it's puritan background can be a little restrictive. Yes, I wear red, although not necessarily to weddings, because it's one of my favorite colors and looks great on me. I am sure my great grandmother is spinning...

 

[Moliphino]

I was taught that black is inappropriate at a wedding as it's what you wear for mourning, and of course no white as that's what the bride wears. I think that's interesting, as I've read that the tradition of bridesmaids was so that the evil spirits couldn't identify the bride and bring down bad luck; the bride AND the bridesmaids therefore wore white.

White only became the traditional bride color in the mid-late 1800s/early 1900s. Before that most brides just wore their best dress (unless you were super rich, then you'd get something as fancy as possible).

 

[aprilgail]

Here you really stand out if not wearing black to a wedding, it’s the go to color.

Same- my daughter just got married on Saturday and most of the men wore navy or black suits and many women wore black dresses- most weddings are like that- you don't wear bright colors to a wedding.

 

[DisneylandFreak2013]

This is where I see it making sense. If you live in an area where daytime, summery weddings are the norm you are more likely to think black isn't really "appropriate" for the event since most everyone else will be in bright colors, florals, etc. But, if you live in an area where weddings are more formal, in the evening, indoors, you are likely to see a good percentage of guests in black dresses.


Why read extra meaning into things unless you know 100% for sure the intention behind it?

I could understand if this took place in a small community with very specific cultural rules that everyone followed. But, nowadays people move all over the place and even travel to attend weddings, so it's likely that the guests will be from different places with their own traditions. Based on this thread, three quarters of people have absolutely no idea that there would be any controversy or issue with wearing a black dress to a wedding. So, why would anyone's first thought be, "She must have purposely chosen her outfit to publicly display her disapproval of my wedding" instead of "Oh, she must not know that around here we don't typically wear black to a wedding"?

I'm just repeating what is a very well known fashion faux pas around here. Everyone knows this rule, so it's not reading more into something if it's a SOP. It's like showing up to a funeral wearing a yellow cocktail dress. It's just not done.

 

[DisneyHardin]

I think a black dress is fine, especially for an evening or fancier wedding.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I was taught that black is inappropriate at a wedding as it's what you wear for mourning, and of course no white as that's what the bride wears. I think that's interesting, as I've read that the tradition of bridesmaids was so that the evil spirits couldn't identify the bride and bring down bad luck; the bride AND the bridesmaids therefore wore white.

Oh- and no red; that's what "fast women" wore. Sometimes being from New England with it's puritan background can be a little restrictive. Yes, I wear red, although not necessarily to weddings, because it's one of my favorite colors and looks great on me. I am sure my great grandmother is spinning...

Agreed. Would never wear black to a wedding, personally.

 

[darnheather]

I grew up in the south and we did not wear black to weddings. My aunt was scandalized when a cousin's bride chose black bridesmaid dresses. Now I think wearing black to weddings is more common, but I haven't been to one in over 10 years.

 

[mjkacmom]

I'm just repeating what is a very well known fashion faux pas around here. Everyone knows this rule, so it's not reading more into something if it's a SOP. It's like showing up to a funeral wearing a yellow cocktail dress. It's just not done.

And around here, its a fashion faux pas for men to show up at a wedding not wearing a suit. Older teen boys and men should also wear suits to wakes and funerals. I know it’s different elsewhere.

 

[tzolkin]

And around here, its a fashion faux pas for men to show up at a wedding not wearing a suit. Older teen boys and men should also wear suits to wakes and funerals. I know it’s different elsewhere.

I understand something being a fashion faux pas, but I would assume the person most likely simply didn’t know better, not that they were purposely giving me a passive-aggressive snub.

 

[Rogue1677x]

I always think it's fine to wear black, but that's just me. My grandmother used to say when I was younger "We're Portuguese, we wear black for everything".