Wedding invitation with rules

[onewishupon]

Typically it is common practice to avoid wearing White, possibly Black *unless an evening event or asked to do so, and Red to a wedding. This particular invitation tells me that the Bride is actually a Bridezilla nightmare! I would politely decline this invite. Telling guests what colors to wear? Give me a break!

 

[BrianL]

So selfish and annoying when the bride’s main priority is how good the photos look on Instagram. I had to go to a destination beach wedding where the bride insisted on black tie (so hot and uncomfortable tux and cummerbund, bluster-producing shoes, etc.) because she clearly prioritized visually appealing photos over the comfort of her guests. For the rest of my life, to me, she will always be “the one who made me wear a tux on the beach in 85 degree heat”.

A beach wedding should not require formal wear. My sister had a beach wedding in Hawaii (where she lived at the time. I was in the wedding party and wore linen pants and a nice Hawaiian shirt, a shell lei, and sunglasses! Bare feet of course, too. It was awesome!

 

[wenrob]

I am so over that it’s “their” day. The people you invite are your guests. Yes they are celebrating you, but ostensibly they are invited because they are important to you and their presence (not presents) will enhance the day. The most important thing should be your vows. People are getting so so superficial.

By the end of the year my oldest DD will have stood up for three brides in one year. Not only dress/shoes but specific jewelry, make up, hair, nails etc. Then the events leading up to the wedding, bridal shower, bachelorette TRIP where you have to take off work for three days, pay your way and in at least one case everyone chip in to pay the bride’s way, formal dinner, rehearsal dinner and more I’m sure I’m forgetting. Poor kid is going broke. I know someone here will say she could decline but these are her closest friends, she could but not without some damage to those friendships. A years worth of planning and insane expense for something that will be over in ten minutes. It’s so crazy to me.

I don’t come from the land of formal weddings. I think I’ve been to one in my lifetime so an invitation with a bunch of rules I’d probably toss and send my regrets, maybe a check if it was a niece or nephew. No way am I wearing a dress and heels outside in the summer time, not even for my kids.

 

[kymom99]

By the end of the year my oldest DD will have stood up for three brides in one year. Not only dress/shoes but specific jewelry, make up, hair, nails etc. Then the events leading up to the wedding, bridal shower, bachelorette TRIP where you have to take off work for three days, pay your way and in at least one case everyone chip in to pay the bride’s way, formal dinner, rehearsal dinner and more I’m sure I’m forgetting. Poor kid is going broke. I know someone here will say she could decline but these are her closest friends, she could but not without some damage to those friendships. A years worth of planning and insane expense for something that will be over in ten minutes. It’s so crazy to me.

I don’t come from the land of formal weddings. I think I’ve been to one in my lifetime so an invitation with a bunch of rules I’d probably toss and send my regrets, maybe a check if it was a niece or nephew. No way am I wearing a dress and heels outside in the summer time, not even for my kids.

I always feel bad for the kids in these weddings who themselves never marry. They never get “their day” do they? No one hosts big trips and parties in their honor.

 

[mjkacmom]

Typically it is common practice to avoid wearing White, Black and Red to a wedding. This particular invitation tells me that the Bride is actually a Bridezilla nightmare! I would politely decline this invite. Telling guests what colors to wear? Give me a break!

I don’t like to stand out at weddings so I wear black to blend, so many wear black to weddings here.

 

[mjkacmom]

By the end of the year my oldest DD will have stood up for three brides in one year. Not only dress/shoes but specific jewelry, make up, hair, nails etc. Then the events leading up to the wedding, bridal shower, bachelorette TRIP where you have to take off work for three days, pay your way and in at least one case everyone chip in to pay the bride’s way, formal dinner, rehearsal dinner and more I’m sure I’m forgetting. Poor kid is going broke. I know someone here will say she could decline but these are her closest friends, she could but not without some damage to those friendships. A years worth of planning and insane expense for something that will be over in ten minutes. It’s so crazy to me.

I don’t come from the land of formal weddings. I think I’ve been to one in my lifetime so an invitation with a bunch of rules I’d probably toss and send my regrets, maybe a check if it was a niece or nephew. No way am I wearing a dress and heels outside in the summer time, not even for my kids.

Same with my 26 year old, one lives in Boston which is 4 hours away, so back and forth. Two are a week apart. We do live in the land of fan formal weddings.

 

[wenrob]

Same with my 26 year old, one lives in Boston which is 4 hours away, so back and forth. Two are a week apart. We do live in the land of fan formal weddings.

Same age range as DD and her friends. Two luckily are where she’s at and one she has to fly home. All bachelorette trips require travel and time off. I find myself wondering if these kids that are getting married stop and think about how broke *they* are before asking their broke friends to commit to that kind of financial obligation.

 

[mjkacmom]

It’s crazy, they sign contracts! Living in the nyc metro my entire life, although we‘ve always had these weddings, we didn’t have these weekends, my daughter spent $1000 on her last one in Miami, complete with party bus and matching outfits. My 22 year old went to Nashville over spring break and said the amount of bridal parties was ridiculous and comical. One trend I like is the girls wear the same color, but can choose their dresses. My daughter chose 2 different sage dresses for 2 weddings (can’t wear 1 for both, social media pictures).

 

[wenrob]

It’s crazy, they sign contracts! Living in the nyc metro my entire life, although we‘ve always had these weddings, we didn’t have these weekends, my daughter spent $1000 on her last one in Miami, complete with party bus and matching outfits. My 22 year old went to Nashville over spring break and said the amount of bridal parties was ridiculous and comical. One trend I like is the girls wear the same color, but can choose their dresses. My daughter chose 2 different sage dresses for 2 weddings (can’t wear 1 for both, social media pictures).

Contracts?! Oh my! And how funny, the weddings DD is in for Sept and Oct are olive/sage dresses but like you said can’t wear the same one because of social media.

 

[_19disnA]

By the end of the year my oldest DD will have stood up for three brides in one year. Not only dress/shoes but specific jewelry, make up, hair, nails etc. Then the events leading up to the wedding, bridal shower, bachelorette TRIP where you have to take off work for three days, pay your way and in at least one case everyone chip in to pay the bride’s way, formal dinner, rehearsal dinner and more I’m sure I’m forgetting. Poor kid is going broke. I know someone here will say she could decline but these are her closest friends, she could but not without some damage to those friendships. A years worth of planning and insane expense for something that will be over in ten minutes. It’s so crazy to me.

Sounds more to me like her friend is taking advantage of others and their supposed friendship. Assuming everyone can afford the expense, time off of work, travel, etc. seems rather narrow-minded to me. Sometimes good to look at the big picture and ask if that is how she would behave if she was the one getting married where money is no object and imposing this on her friends?

 

[Timandalicia]

Just received a wedding invitation with a request that guests not wear certain colors to the wedding. Green, blue, white, gold. Also attire is listed as cocktail. Wedding reception is in the backyard of the brides parents. Since I am very old school and have not been to a wedding in a long time, is this the new normal?

Since it is a summer wedding I had planned to wear a mid lenght summer dress.

Ahhh. Yes. Social media continues to make people ask crazy things of us. Everything has to be “instaready” for posting.

 

[kymom99]

Contracts?! Oh my! And how funny, the weddings DD is in for Sept and Oct are olive/sage dresses but like you said can’t wear the same one because of social media.

The funny thing is, they all try to outdo each other but they are doing the same things. Another example of this is in houses. Everyone has to have a white kitchen. And around here, I can’t count how many new houses are white with black trim. Nothing remotely unique or classic.

 

[_19disnA]

^^ I agree, looks more like a hospital or industrial setting. Those TV home design shows always push whatever the latest trend happens to be. Clearly, they make money doing REMODELING so they probably hope in 5 yrs when it looks outdated, you will invite them back for yet another "update"...................LOL.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

The funny thing is, they all try to outdo each other but they are doing the same things. Another example of this is in houses. Everyone has to have a white kitchen. And around here, I can’t count how many new houses are white with black trim. Nothing remotely unique or classic.

Let's not get into housing trends shall we my mom moved into her house in the mid-90s and it had a cow print kitchen like cows stuff were on the wall decor the kitchen cabinets had cow handles... sure okay unique maybe but are we really going to defend it in the name of that although wood paneled walls in the family room were hardly unique and can be found in many homes built in the 60s, very blah to me. My husband's grandmother's house had pink bathtubs with pink sinks (for many decades it stayed that way). The house was built in the 1940s and that was common then to see all over.


***I too dislike white kitchens but what you're talking about is just the latest trend, the past has saw awful stuff that was replicated in nearly every house built around a specific time. Very rarely can you actually say people have been unique and please pink bathtubs will never be classic

 

[mjkacmom]

The funny thing is, they all try to outdo each other but they are doing the same things. Another example of this is in houses. Everyone has to have a white kitchen. And around here, I can’t count how many new houses are white with black trim. Nothing remotely unique or classic.

I love white kitchens, when we bought our our house 25 years ago I painted our cabinets white (When cherry was in). Planning on a kitchen renovation, white is timeless while wood and paint colors change. I’m not doing gray though.

 

[wenrob]

Sounds more to me like her friend is taking advantage of others and their supposed friendship. Assuming everyone can afford the expense, time off of work, travel, etc. seems rather narrow-minded to me. Sometimes good to look at the big picture and ask if that is how she would behave if she was the one getting married where money is no object and imposing this on her friends?

I’m not sure how to respond to this as I feel I’m missing something in your wording. They’re young 20 something’s whose parents are paying for extravagant weddings and are being fed the “everything must be perfect” narrative probably since they were little girls. I don’t think they’re necessarily being narrow minded (if that’s what you meant) on purpose, they’re just in the moment and money be damned. Young brides can be inherently selfish without meaning to be. They’re good “kids” they just don’t stop to think.

As far as DD I didn’t realize I never brought up any kind of wedding scenarios until one day when my younger DD said I should change a frame on a picture and I said, “Oh I can’t that’s the only picture of my dad giving me away and it’s cut to size.” Then I had to explain “giving away” and she was horrified. I can’t imagine any of my kids wanting the big wedding experience with trips etc. that’s just not who they are.

 

[fla4fun]

***I too dislike white kitchens but what you're talking about is just the latest trend, the past has saw awful stuff that was replicated in nearly every house built around a specific time. Very rarely can you actually say people have been unique and please pink bathtubs will never be classic

The pink tubs and pink sinks with the mint green wall tile with a pink stripe near the top . . .

I would have chosen a sage dress with a matching bolero or wrap, wearing the dress only to one wedding and with the cover for the other.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

whose parents are paying for extravagant weddings and are being fed the “everything must be perfect” narrative probably since they were little girls.

Young brides can be inherently selfish without meaning to be.

I agree with what you're saying but I think in the case of what you're mentioning with someone lording over the wedding couple with money and with the image of perfection is it fair to then characterize them as inherently selfish even if they aren't meaning to?

Like your kids you wouldn't call them inherently selfish because you never made a fuss about weddings being extravagant it would seem nor do you think your kids want them. But in the case of your daughter's friends they've had a heavy influence growing up and presently are having a heavy influence by their parents paying for it and for extravagance, does that make them selfish if they are being presented with "this is how it is"? How much of this issue is really the parents pulling the purse strings..literally.

Just me randomly thinking because I agree with what you're getting at

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

The pink tubs and pink sinks with the mint green wall tile with a pink stripe near the top . . .

I would have chosen a sage dress with a matching bolero or wrap, wearing the dress only to one wedding and with the cover for the other.

Oh yeah the green walls

Wasn't there yellow too that you'd find tubs in?

There was that whole long trend of everything matching the toilet, sink, bathtub in the loudest colors

 

[sam_gordon]

Typically it is common practice to avoid wearing White, Black and Red to a wedding. This particular invitation tells me that the Bride is actually a Bridezilla nightmare! I would politely decline this invite. Telling guests what colors to wear? Give me a break!

Technically the request is asking guests NOT to wear four specific colors (one of which, white, I thought was a traditional "no no" to wear to weddings).