Wedding Food Issue

[JessicaR]

I haven't read any replies, but, has anyone said this yet:

"I'd never invite people to a wedding if I couldn't afford to serve them meat!!!!"

I'm not sure that it was a question of affording meat or more, this is what we eat and you shall also. However I agree with your sentiment.

 

[cglaura]

I go to a wedding to celebrate the joy of their union. Isn't that the purpose of the day?

They could serve coffee and cake for all it matters. The day is for them, not me.

 

[bookgirl]

I put other.

Their wedding their choice, but to not inform your guests that there would be a narrow choice of food is rude. If they had informed the guests then they could have eaten earlier and not have to sneak out. If I was provideing a dinner I would let my guests know whatever the menu was so that they could plan accordingly.

I did recently go to a dinner party that was mostly vegan/vegitarian but I knew before hand, I ate a little of the food items that I could (not a problem with them being veg or vegan, but I don't eat certain veggies that are a staple for these dishes) and then stopped by for something on the way home. The point is I knew before hand and could plan to eat a big lunch to make up for what was going to be a light dinner.

 

[dhcoffey]

My vote is other. The vegetarian only wouldn't bother me because I'm used to cooking that way from some family members. The type of food would bother me because honestly, I wouldn't eat most of that. I don't do raw veggies and the rest just doesn't appeal to me.

Now, I would deal with it until after the reception and then grab something to eat and wouldn't complain but probably to my husband. My niece is getting married in October and she's vegetarian along with her fiance and her mother (my sister) and our other sister and her husband. Thankfully, me niece knew there were many more meat eaters than non, so she is having some of both at her reception. We'll all be happy campers that night .

Heather

 

[LBIJim]

Corn is not a vegetable, it is a grain.

Sure, botanically corn is a grain, but agriculturally, it's almost always marketed as and considered a vegetable.

Botanically, I don't believe there's any such thing as a vegetable. It's a fruit, tuber, legume, rhizome, etc.

I believe the bridal couple had every right to choose whatever menu they wanted. They should have realized, however, and maybe they did, that "vegan" isn't mainstream and is still considered "oddball" enough to elicit some snide remarks or disparaging behavior such as leaving the reception to get fast food takeout. I think those people should have sucked it up and made the best of it. Goes both ways, though. Vegans/vegetarians should also suck it up if only meat dishes are offered.

I liked the comment from a poster some pages back about "accidental veganism." I enjoy eating meat, and occasionally make some vegetarian dishes, but used to shudder at the thought of "vegan fare." But then I realized that many of the vegetarian dishes I enjoy are actually, gasp, vegan. Very tasty, and I didn't die from them. But call me a "vegan" and I'll give you the stink-eye.

Jim

 

[Minnie]

I haven't read any replies, but, has anyone said this yet:

"I'd never invite people to a wedding if I couldn't afford to serve them meat!!!!"

Vegan is often an expensive alternative so I highly doubt $ had anything to do with the choice.

 

[LBIJim]

A pescetarian is a vegetarian THAT EATS FISH.

Sounds like my stepdaugher. She's a vegetarian that eats fish, chicken, the occasional hamburger, pizza with pepperoni or sausage toppings, ham sandwiches, and maybe a few other things. Apparently it has to be a T-bone steak, pork chop, ribs, or something similar to be considered meat. Anything else is OK. Yet she insists she's a vegetarian.

Jim

 

[kaytieeldr]

I put better in quotes because better is in the eye of the beholder. Those guests obviously considered fast food to be better than the wedding menu. Many others would disagree.

Sorry - I mistook your response with someone else's, I was trying to answer five posts at once and get ready for work

 

[kaytieeldr]

Tofu? No thanks. I'd rather go hungry.

Not to mention the people that can't have soy, I am one of them.

Okay, yes, I do understand there are people who are allergic to soy and soy products. But to just dismiss tuff out of hand? There are different textures, it's nutritious, and it takes on the flavor of what it's prepared with. Worst case, eat the stew vegetables and kebab vegetables and leave the tofu on your plate.

That'll teach 'em not to have a vegan wedding next time

 

[kaytieeldr]

Reputable places will be more than happy to make a special meal for someone with special concerns. If this was a "health reason" they could easily have made vegan for the Bride and Groom and had a couple of regular dishes for the guests.

Easily or not, there's no reason the couple should eat different food than what they're providing to their guests. Granted, a main course for guests with a soy allergy would have been nice (not necessarily on the buffet table, but if anyone had said anything to the caterer or a member of the wedding party). Any 'special' meal should have been made for whatever few guests might have soy allergies, NOT the bride and groom!!!

I'm surprised at the number of people who wouldn't try anything new.

 

[CurlyGirl]

Sorry - I mistook your response with someone else's, I was trying to answer five posts at once and get ready for work

LMAO because "something better" was what most of the people who ducked out for fast food said. I thought that I had written it but I guess not? Anyway, I probably should've as those were the exact words the "not into vegan food" folks said. They were going out for "something better". How fast food is better than fresh veggies is beyond me ....

 

[FredinFL]

Easily or not, there's no reason the couple should eat different food than what they're providing to their guests. Granted, a main course for guests with a soy allergy would have been nice (not necessarily on the buffet table, but if anyone had said anything to the caterer or a member of the wedding party). Any 'special' meal should have been made for whatever few guests might have soy allergies, NOT the bride and groom!!!

I'm surprised at the number of people who wouldn't try anything new.

They could have had some vegan and some other food for people that aren't vegan. Tofu isn't something most people just go "Oh good! TOFU! In EVERYTHING, awesome!"

Also, if someone is allegic to soy, shouldn't they not eat something that has soy in it? Regardless of whether they eat the tofu, wouldn't cross contamination be an issue? or does a soy allergy not work like that?

I mean, you don't tell someone allergic to peanuts to pick them out of the dish, right?

 

[CurlyGirl]

They could have had some vegan and some other food for people that aren't vegan. Tofu isn't something most people just go "Oh good! TOFU! In EVERYTHING, awesome!"

LOL! I don't think I heard anyone saying "Wooo - Tofu! Yeeeessss!"

Also, if someone is allegic to soy, shouldn't they not eat something that has soy in it? Regardless of whether they eat the tofu, wouldn't cross contamination be an issue? or does a soy allergy not work like that?

I mean, you don't tell someone allergic to peanuts to pick them out of the dish, right?

That's a really good question! One I can't answer but would be interested to know!

Oh - they served coffee and tea ... with soy milk! DH doesn't like how soy milk tastes (and neither do I) and he was all "what!?"! And the sugar was brown lumps in a bowl. I'm thinking it was raw sugar? It didn't look like the stuff in raw sugar packets, so I'm not quite sure what it was ...

 

[kaytieeldr]

They could have had some vegan and some other food for people that aren't vegan. Tofu isn't something most people just go "Oh good! TOFU! In EVERYTHING, awesome!"

Also, if someone is allegic to soy, shouldn't they not eat something that has soy in it? Regardless of whether they eat the tofu, wouldn't cross contamination be an issue? or does a soy allergy not work like that?

I mean, you don't tell someone allergic to peanuts to pick them out of the dish, right?

Yeah, that's what I said Special dish for the soy-allergic, but keep it in the kitchen for 'by request' orders only. Otherwise you're going to have all the unadventurous guests gobbling it down, and the people who would be genuinely endangered by eating soy would be up the creek.

What I don't get is probably most, if not all, those adults don't let their kids get away with being picky eaters, or preparing something 'special' for them - especially when they haven't tried a dish before and just don't like the sound of it. Yet here, it seems that many so-called adults were acting like finicky kids.

What I think was rude in all this is going out to get - ahem - "better" food and bringing it back to the reception. Really? If your going to leave because you don't like the food, just leave. If my friends want to go for barbecue, I don't bring in a pizza. Somebody invites me for dinner, I don't ask "what's for dinner?" before accepting. I eat at least some of it to be polite (my brother was surprised to learn his pork roast was the first time I'd eaten that meat since we were kids; I was being polite ).

 

[FredinFL]

You can fondly remember it together as "The Crunchy Wedding".

 

[si-am]

LOL! I don't think I heard anyone saying "Wooo - Tofu! Yeeeessss!"


That's a really good question! One I can't answer but would be interested to know!

Oh - they served coffee and tea ... with soy milk! DH doesn't like how soy milk tastes (and neither do I) and he was all "what!?"! And the sugar was brown lumps in a bowl. I'm thinking it was raw sugar? It didn't look like the stuff in raw sugar packets, so I'm not quite sure what it was ...

But to me, just because you don't like something, doesn't mean it's inappropriate. Don't like soy milk? Suck it up and don't put milk in your coffee (plenty of people drink it black.) There's also nothing wrong with raw sugar.

I still am just not understanding why this is such a big deal to some people. I've been to plenty of weddings (and restaurants, and heck even my own cooking sometimes!) where the food was just not to my taste. Not a big deal to me if I have to stop somewhere on the way home to pick up a snack.

 

[FredinFL]

I think it comes from the term "guest". When you invite someone as a guest, you go at least a little bit out of your way to make them feel welcome, right? If I was inviting people over to a party, I would try to make sure that there was something everyone would enjoy. A pasta dish, a chicken dish, my guests are there on MY invite, I was taught that meant something. Something like actually feeding them food they will eat.

I can understand someone needing a special diet, I think, however, that it's rude to put yourself before the people you are inviting to celebrate with you. I'm not saying they shouldn't have had food they could/would enjoy, I'm saying they should have tempered it with some regular food.

As they are vegan for some health issue rather than a morality issue, why would that have been such a big deal? I mean, going so far as to use soy milk for everyone? Just a little bit over the top to me.

 

[CurlyGirl]

Don't like soy milk? Suck it up and don't put milk in your coffee (plenty of people drink it black.) There's also nothing wrong with raw sugar.

What about non-dairy creamer? The powder stuff? Why not provide that for the guests? Why ONLY soy? And, really ... since they're not vegan for ethical reasons, why not provide a pint or two of milk? Nobody complained about or said there was anything wrong with the raw sugar so I don't know why you're making that an arguement.

I still am just not understanding why this is such a big deal to some people. I've been to plenty of weddings (and restaurants, and heck even my own cooking sometimes!) where the food was just not to my taste. Not a big deal to me if I have to stop somewhere on the way home to pick up a snack.

While I agree it's fine for adults to wait and pick something up on the way home, what do you do with kids? Most adults can deal without food for an extended period of time. Kids, not so much. And there were a few people here who thought ducking out for fast food was inappropriate.

 

[CurlyGirl]

As they are vegan for some health issue rather than a morality issue, why would that have been such a big deal? I mean, going so far as to use soy milk for everyone? Just a little bit over the top to me.

That's pretty much how the people who didn't like the vegan food saw it. The newlyweds went vegan for weight loss purposes, not ethical reasons, so why not have one dish that the majority of other people could enjoy? I would bet that something as inexpensive as a bowl of pasta with a marinara sauce on the side would've made the guests that were unhappy with the vegan fare happy.

 

[Nancyg56]

What I think was rude in all this is going out to get - ahem - "better" food and bringing it back to the reception. Really? If your going to leave because you don't like the food, just leave. If my friends want to go for barbecue, I don't bring in a pizza. Somebody invites me for dinner, I don't ask "what's for dinner?" before accepting. I eat at least some of it to be polite (my brother was surprised to learn his pork roast was the first time I'd eaten that meat since we were kids; I was being polite ).

This is the way that I feel. I understand that this food was not for the guests, it was for the wedding couple. I would not treat my guests this way but this was not my party. I have been invited to many events where the food was not my taste but I ate what I could and was polite. I would never have skipped out to bring something I liked better, that is just in poor taste IMO.

THe only event I was invited to that I was offended with the way I was treated was my first husbands cousin. She and her new husband were Born Again Christians. The wedding was dry and there was no dancing. I was fine with that, it was a wedding and not a dance that I had purchased tickets to. Where the couple lost me was the sermons before, during and after the meal. The brides entire family was Catholic and very comfortable with in our Faith. A Bridal couple should respect that the people who are attending your wedding, supporting your marriage and celebrationg this new chapter should nto be told over and over again that their Religious foundation id an equation for damnation.

I will tolerate any food and will do so gracefully. I am not so happy about sermonizing, although we all sat through it politely.

That's pretty much how the people who didn't like the vegan food saw it. The newlyweds went vegan for weight loss purposes, not ethical reasons, so why not have one dish that the majority of other people could enjoy? I would bet that something as inexpensive as a bowl of pasta with a marinara sauce on the side would've made the guests that were unhappy with the vegan fare happy.