Wedding Food Issue

[aprilgail2]

As much as I love an open bar, if I had to dip into the wedding gift to pay for drinks, I'd just go without alcohol. I have heard people say they would just take some money out of the envelope, but I figured it was just a joke. I didn't realize people actually did that stuff

It wasn't even for alcohol-it was for soda (I don't drink alcohol)!

 

[FireDancer]

One wedding I went to I actually had to take money out of the envelope! They had a cash bar at the wedding- first one like that I had ever encountered as most are full open bars at weddings here. I didn't bring any money with me so I just took some out of the wedding gift envelope-and I wasn't the only one that had to do that LOL- we were laughing about it as you saw people sneek their envelopes under the tables to get money for drinks!

Klassy!

 

[disneyfav4ever]

It wasn't even for alcohol-it was for soda (I don't drink alcohol)!

That's just crazy. What did they have available to drink? Just tap water?

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

I think it's incredibly inconsiderate of them not to provide food their guests would actually like. I've eaten vegan food before, it's not bad, but it's limited in its goodness. I personally think I would be OK with only vegan stuff but I still think it's lame of them not to consider their guest's preferences. They would be annoyed if there wasn't anything they could eat as vegans, I think it goes the other way around. I know non-vegans can obviously eat vegan food, but what if they don't want to. It's not as if the vegan population is a big population, relative to the non-vegan population.

For what it's worth though, I would also have alcohol, with an open bar. I would also never even think of making my bridesmaids pay for their dresses, because it still amazes me that people do this.

 

[aprilgail2]

That's just crazy. What did they have available to drink? Just tap water?

Water and some punch like thing.

 

[3 MEN AND A BOAT]

They would be annoyed if there wasn't anything they could eat as vegans, I think it goes the other way around. I know non-vegans can obviously eat vegan food, but what if they don't want to. It's not as if the vegan population is a big population, relative to the non-vegan population.

ITA.
Vegan and non-Vegan are choices, both could eat either, they simply choose what they want to eat or not eat, short of allergies. Although I would be fine with veggies, and I eat them daily. Don't give me a fake meat, I don't care how good someone says it is, if I want a burger, KILL A COW AND GRILL IT.

 

[Swan4Me]

It wasn't even for alcohol-it was for soda (I don't drink alcohol)!

So no drinks were provded?
I went to a wedding JUST like that

We stood at the bar forever while the couple took pics-no access to the Food-done buffet style. We finally left
without having eaten
food or talking to the Groom;s Father (who invited us)

 

[Michelle67]

My husband would be the one that heard the word vegan and wanted no part. Me I eat just about everything. This menu seemed heavy on the tofu and I think that was the largest mistake this couple made.

That would have been my husband too. It falls firmly under "weird" in his book, and he has a thing about "weird" foods. This is sometimes a thorn in my own side, I admit.

There was very little listed by the OP that anyone in my family would eat, other than the veggie tray, and a lot of things my oldest is allergic to (any of the tofu/soy dishes). We're all hypoglycemic, so we don't go with the "nibble on celery until it's polite to leave" idea. We'd have been one of the ones to congratulate the bride and groom and slip out to go eat.

It is definitely the bride and groom's choice to serve what they want to serve. It is also my choice to take my family and feed them something they will actually eat.

 

[LBIJim]

Haha! What about those people who figured per plate cost was $150 per person, put $300 in the envelope to cover "per plate" for them and their spouse and then had to go out to buy their own dinner? lol! Can they take money out of the envelope?

Yes, people actually do this. Adjust the amount of a cash gift based on the amenities at the reception. Strangely enough, it's never adjusted UP if the reception is better than expected, only down if something expected is missing or substandard.

Jim

P.S. For some strange reason I love these wedding gift/reception threads.

 

[shortbun]

Oh for crying out loud, it's one meal!!! Personally, if I was close enough to the bride and groom, I'd know they were vegan and I'd expect a vegan menu. Vegans are serious about it and to them, offering meat options would be like offering poison. Some people are pretty childish, especially those who went out for other food. Big babies. And look, vegans eat a lot more than tofu. Many very good vegetable dishes have lots of protein and are very tasty. It's 2011 folks, not 1953, you can figure out what to eat for one meal where there's no meat served.

 

[Nancyg56]

I'd go without too.

I would as well.

Water and some punch like thing.

This is what I would drink

 

[luvsJack]

I really think if I, unexpectedly, had to pay for a soft drink at THEIR party, I would dip into the gift evenvelope too.

Its the couple's party--if they want people to attend and to STAY for any length of time, they really should make their guests comfortable. If you cannot have an open bar, don't have one. If you want to serve food, serve at least one thing that most people eat. Its all about being a good host/hostess.

 

[PollyannaMom]

(just answering the original question - have not read all replies)

I voted "Their wedding, their food...".

If the couple are vegans because of beliefs - if they actually feel it is wrong to kill animals in order to eat, then they should not be made to do that for other people. It would be like asking someone who believes in keeping Kosher to be involved in cooking non-Kosher food for their guests.

If the couple are vegans because they just think it's healthier, then it probably would have been nice to have a little more variety.

Really, though, the whole thing could have solved if they had just written something like "A vegan buffet reception to follow at _____" on the invitations. That way people who knew they would not eat much could have had something before the wedding.

 

[ForTheLoveofDisney]

I voted other. Omnivores can eat anything. Most omnivores don't eat just animal dishes. Even if they don't like straight up vegetables, a veggie dish (seasoned and cooked up) can most likely be eaten. It's the other way around that is frustrating as vegetarians and vegans can't always find something to eat when they're invited someplace.

I'm a vegetarian and I went to a work picnic once. They had hamburgers already on the bun, potato salad with bacon, and pasta salad with ham. The only thing I could eat? Potato chips and some of the fixins (piece of lettuce and tomato).

 

[luvmy3]

Oh for crying out loud, it's one meal!!! Personally, if I was close enough to the bride and groom, I'd know they were vegan and I'd expect a vegan menu. Vegans are serious about it and to them, offering meat options would be like offering poison. Some people are pretty childish, especially those who went out for other food. Big babies. And look, vegans eat a lot more than tofu. Many very good vegetable dishes have lots of protein and are very tasty. It's 2011 folks, not 1953, you can figure out what to eat for one meal where there's no meat served.

Yeah, except they weren't served at this particular wedding, and if a person didn't eat tofu all that was left was some raw veggies, thats hardly a meal. (and yes, there are those of us who don't eat tofu, not because it sounds weird, or we're not open minded enough, its because we just don't like it
Also, this couple were newly converted vegans, and apparently the bride was stuffing herself full of "poison" at her shower a few months before.
Its pretty funny, people wouldn't be called " big babies" if they left because they were tired, or if they had too much to drink, yet being hungry somehow makes it warranted.

 

[luvmy3]

I voted other. Omnivores can eat anything. Most omnivores don't eat just animal dishes. Even if they don't like straight up vegetables, a veggie dish (seasoned and cooked up) can most likely be eaten. It's the other way around that is frustrating as vegetarians and vegans can't always find something to eat when they're invited someplace.

I'm a vegetarian and I went to a work picnic once. They had hamburgers already on the bun, potato salad with bacon, and pasta salad with ham. The only thing I could eat? Potato chips and some of the fixins (piece of lettuce and tomato).

I don't think anyone would have called you a big baby if you left to go get something to eat

 

[kamik86]

I really think if I, unexpectedly, had to pay for a soft drink at THEIR party, I would dip into the gift evenvelope too.

Its the couple's party--if they want people to attend and to STAY for any length of time, they really should make their guests comfortable. If you cannot have an open bar, don't have one. If you want to serve food, serve at least one thing that most people eat. Its all about being a good host/hostess.

I have never been to a wedding with an open bar. Most weddings I have been to only serve water and coffee/tea with dinner and sometimes coffee during the reception. Nothing else is free at the reception for the guests. As a kid I hated this because I had to ask my parents for money for a soda every time. This was including my sisters wedding when I was in the wedding party.

As for not having a bar. At least in our area most wedding locations this isn't an option because the location has a bar for the public, so the option for guests to buy drinks is there.

My wedding I paid for all coffee/tea/soda from the bar (so pretty much anything without alchohol is free - because I wanted those that didn't drink coffee to have something to drink!) guests had to pay if they wanted to drink anything besides the glass of champagne provided for the toast. This was done partially because DH's family has several people that if they could drink on someone elses tab they wouldn't stop drinking until they couldn't stand to get to the bar. I doubt anyone gave less money due to this... most of my guests that gave money it was in the form of a check so unless they wrote a new one at the reception...


to the original part of this thread I actually had only one dish with meat in it at my wedding, and both my husband and I eat meat! We had baked ziti, an alfredo pasta, Ceaser salad, rolls, and chicken parm (separate from the ziti so that the vegetarian could have both pastas)

Then we had cake and ice cream for dessert (I don't like cake much, the cake was more for show and for those that expect it... I wanted ice cream sundaes) this turned out to be better then I thought as the family has a few diabetics in the extended family that I forgot about but one of them loved the sundae bar since she was able to have some of the fresh fruit toppings for her own dessert.

 

[FredinFL]

Wow, open bar is the norm here and it's looked on as extremely tacky to have a cash bar at a wedding. It just isn't "done". If you can't afford to liquor up your guests, invite fewer . Or have a backyard BBQ or something.

If you can't or won't eat the food at a wedding because of an issue like this food, I don't think leaving early makes you a big baby. It makes you hungry.

Smart catering places try to get you to be a little bit varied in the meal you pick, they don't want you drinking on an empty stomach!

 

[disneyfav4ever]

I think the only wedding I've been to that didn't have an open bar was right after high school when my underage friends got married. But 80% of the people there were underage, so I'm not really suprised that they didn't have a bar. We did have free soda though.

 

[luvmy3]

I think an open bar is a regional thing. I have never been to a wedding up here in the Northeast where there wasn't an open bar. However I have been to a few in other areas where there was a cash bar.