Wedding Food Issue

[CurlyGirl]

Another family debate that has me going hmmmm ...

We were at my cousin's wedding on Saturday. We assumed that, since we weren't offered a meal choice, it was going to be a buffet reception. We were right. However, the buffet was all vegan fare.

Nobody, prior to attending the wedding, was aware that it would be vegan food. Several family members were ticked off and ducked out for fast food. They complained that there should've been offerings for non-vegans and, when you invite people to a wedding, you should take guests into consideration. I ate the vegan food and didn't mind it.

However, most of the family is split on whether the couple should've had alternate food for non-vegan guests or if, because it's their day, they can have whatever they want.

So, what's your take on this? I'll post a poll for you!

The majority of guests were non-vegan.

 

[msmayor]

I think its more of an issue the other way around, when you don't provide a vegan options and there really IS nothing for them to eat.

Us carnivores can eat anything, and I don't think its really necessary for a vegan to provide meat options for their guests.

Its no different than going to someone's home for a dinner party. You eat what you can based on what is served, and don't complain.

 

[tlbwriter]

Was there something that prevented the non-vegans from eating vegan food? Or was it simply that they didn't like it? And if that's the case, would they be equally offended to get fish and chicken if they didn't like fish and chicken?

 

[dakcp2001]

I think it would have been polite to offer something that was non vegan, but the reason the couple is vegan needs to be considered. If it is an animal ethics thing and they feel very strongly about it, they have the right to serve what they choose to spend their money on. I would have tried the food at least.

It is polite to offer a little something for eveyone, after all if I knew they were coming to my wedding, I would have made sure there was a vegan meal available for them. I would expect the same level of courtesy. But sometimes you have yo go with the flow and live a little! Try a little vegan fare!

 

[NYEmomma]

I think its more of an issue the other way around, when you don't provide a vegan options and there really IS nothing for them to eat.

Us carnivores can eat anything, and I don't think its really necessary for a vegan to provide meat options for their guests.

Its no different than going to someone's home for a dinner party. You eat what you can based on what is served, and don't complain.

I agree. There were food options there for carnivores, omnivores, vegetarians & vegans... it just seems like some of the guests weren't "adventurous" enough to give it a try. Who knows, they might've like it!

DH is a big meat eater while I'd prefer to eat vegetarian. He found out that he actually prefers taco salad to be made with vegetarian soy crumbles than with ground beef. Never would've known that if I hadn't made him try it.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Other:

Not eating meat is a lifestyle choice, and it's rude to not include vegetarian options.

Those that DO eat meat don't eat JUST meat. So providing vegan choices aren't ignoring their dietary restrictions. Unless, of course, someone has a problem with soy or nuts or something.

It would have been nice if they took into account their guests that do eat meat, but it's not a necessity.

 

[PatsMom]

I voted that its their choice. I would probably not have eaten most of the food. I dislike most vegetables, I have tried tofu and hate it also. If I knew the couple was vegan I probably would have put a granola bar in my pocketbook as a snack! My daughter has a vegetarian friend who carries one when she is afraid that there will be nothing at a friend's house that she will eat.

A warning would have been nice - it would have given those who don't like most vegan dishes the option of eating before they went or sneaking a candy bar in! Something on the invitation saying that they are respecting their beliefs by serving a vegan buffet at the wedding. Avoids people in the family complaining.l

 

[CurlyGirl]

Was there something that prevented the non-vegans from eating vegan food? Or was it simply that they didn't like it? And if that's the case, would they be equally offended to get fish and chicken if they didn't like fish and chicken?

They didn't like it. Actually, I think the majority heard vegan and thought "Ewww". One of my cousins tried it and found it "gross" (I didn't find anything wrong with it, although the vegan Italian sausages seemed dry). And, yeah ... knowing this bunch, they would've been offended to get fish and chicken if they didn't like it. lol!

 

[hambirg]

Interesting question. When one of my cousins that is Seventh Day Adventist got married they had all vegetarian food. It didn't bother me at all. I actually enjoyed it. . .but we had been vegetarians for 5 yrs at one time. I guess we were accustomed to the "fake" meat stuff.

I would think that there were still things for people to eat that weren't just odd tasting fake meat stuff. . .right? I think if they offered salads, fruit, bread, etc. that nobody had to starve. It's their wedding and they can serve what they want.

 

[LuvOrlando]

My SIL is having an all vegetarian menu for her wedding and I'm ok with it but I do think it's a bit rude & here is why. SIL, is always going on about how vegetarians have nothing to eat and how insensitive the world is to them, their beliefs, they way of doing things. OK, point taken, most people, myself included, bend for them, when SIL is around I make sure there is pasta available, no bigge right, ok then. Well, how come she gets to be self centered in her choices? How is it not ok for the rest of us to ignore them and it's perfectly fine for them to ignore the rest of us? Just saying...

So I'm with the suck it up crew but won't be tripping over myself next time they are around.

 

[Sandy V.]

I'm very curious to see what others have to say on this topic. Our DD is getting married next summer and both she and her fiance are vegetarians (as opposed to vegans). The reception dinner menu is a source of discussion around our house!!!

 

[PatsMom]

Interesting question. When one of my cousins that is Seventh Day Adventist got married they had all vegetarian food. It didn't bother me at all. I actually enjoyed it. . .but we had been vegetarians for 5 yrs at one time. I guess we were accustomed to the "fake" meat stuff.

I would think that there were still things for people to eat that weren't just odd tasting fake meat stuff. . .right? I think if they offered salads, fruit, bread, etc. that nobody had to starve then it's their wedding and they can serve what they want.

Vegan is much stricter than vegetarian. Salad and fruit would normally be an option but some breads are not - if there is egg or milk involved, it is off limits. Plant products only, no animal. One of the school trips I chaperoned included a vegan and we were all familiar with her diet by the end. It was a nightmare to accommodate on a trip with limited food options - each restaurant had a vegetarian choice but not a vegan choice.

 

[CurlyGirl]

I think it would have been polite to offer something that was non vegan, but the reason the couple is vegan needs to be considered. If it is an animal ethics thing and they feel very strongly about it, they have the right to serve what they choose to spend their money on. I would have tried the food at least.

It is polite to offer a little something for eveyone, after all if I knew they were coming to my wedding, I would have made sure there was a vegan meal available for them. I would expect the same level of courtesy. But sometimes you have yo go with the flow and live a little! Try a little vegan fare!

According to another cousin, they went vegan right before the wedding for health reasons and not animal ethics.

The main basis of the discussion was what you wrote in your 2nd paragraph. Those disliking the vegan fare said that if the newlyweds came to their house/wedding, they would provide a vegan meal for them, so why can't the newlyweds provide a meat dish for the non-vegans! I can see the point, for sure. Carnivores are expected to make exceptions for the vegetarians/vegans, but not vice versa!

Personally, I liked the vegan food with the exception of the Italian sausages but only because they were dry!

 

[mousey]

We went to a wedding a few months ago and all we got was a piece of cake. The mother of the bride was so proud of herself telling everyone that she pulled off the reception with 2 months notice. I could of pulled if off in 2 hrs!! No coffee or tea either (bride's mother explained, the bride doesn't like either) just the worse tasting punch I ever had in my life. To add insult to injury, no thank you yet!

 

[JessicaR]

My SIL is having an all vegetarian menu for her wedding and I'm ok with it but I do think it's a bit rude & here is why. SIL, is always going on about how vegetarians have nothing to eat and how insensitive the world is to them, their beliefs, they way of doing things. OK, point taken, most people, myself included, bend for them, when SIL is around I make sure there is pasta available, no bigge right, ok then. Well, how come she gets to be self centered in her choices? How is it not ok for the rest of us to ignore them and it's perfectly fine for them to ignore the rest of us? Just saying...

So I'm with the suck it up crew but won't be tripping over myself next time they are around.

I agree and feel the same way.

Make the event mostly vegan just include a dish that wasn't. Common courtesy for your guests.

 

[JaneBanks]

I voted "It's their wedding, they can do what they want" BUT I do think it's inconsiderate to not have a meat option or to at least let people know what the dinner consists of.

 

[CurlyGirl]

No breads, cheese, or pastas. Salads (3-bean, german potato made with tofu "bacon"), hummus, baba ghanoush, tabouleh, lots of veggies and tofu dishes!

And no wedding cake!! That was most disturbing to me as I love wedding cake!!! Dessert was fruit salad.

 

[JessicaR]

We went to a wedding a few months ago and all we got was a piece of cake. The mother of the bride was so proud of herself telling everyone that she pulled off the reception with 2 months notice. I could of pulled if off in 2 hrs!! No coffee or tea either (bride's mother explained, the bride doesn't like either) just the worse tasting punch I ever had in my life. To add insult to injury, no thank you yet!

How long and what time did the event take place? That sounds awful especially if the guests came hungry.

 

[worm761]

While it is their choice to serve what they wish, a good host and hostess will make sure that there is something for everyone to eat that all of their guests will enjoy. A wedding reception is a party that the bride and groom are hosting in celebration of them getting married. If they chose not to have something available for everyone, they should have given warning and not been offended when people either ate before they got there or ducked out to get different food.

 

[hambirg]

Vegan is much stricter than vegetarian. Salad and fruit would normally be an option but some breads are not - if there is egg or milk involved, it is off limits. Plant products only, no animal. One of the school trips I chaperoned included a vegan and we were all familiar with her diet by the end. It was a nightmare to accommodate on a trip with limited food options - each restaurant had a vegetarian choice but not a vegan choice.

Oh, I know. I just meant that there must have been things offered that weren't "fake" meat stuff. I actually don't mind them, but they are an acquired taste and many non-vegans/vegetarians don't like them. I would think that there would be lots of salads, fruits and veggies that everyone could enjoy.