Wedding Food Issue

[Poohforyou]

Bottom line is they didn't want to. I think you just need to get over this and move on. I've been to weddings where the food has been horrible so although there was meat it wasn't of a quality I could eat.

As for the kids maybe this experience will lead those affected to make sure the kids are either feed them ahead of time or carry a few snacks to tide them over.

Just curious though, did the people, including the children, who said they didn't like vegan food try any of it before going out to get something else? I'm asking because I eat a vegan burger every now and then which both my DD and DH have had as well and liked it enough. Neither knows it's vegan though. They just know it's meatless.

 

[luvmy3]

I think it comes from the term "guest". When you invite someone as a guest, you go at least a little bit out of your way to make them feel welcome, right? If I was inviting people over to a party, I would try to make sure that there was something everyone would enjoy. A pasta dish, a chicken dish, my guests are there on MY invite, I was taught that meant something. Something like actually feeding them food they will eat.

I can understand someone needing a special diet, I think, however, that it's rude to put yourself before the people you are inviting to celebrate with you. I'm not saying they shouldn't have had food they could/would enjoy, I'm saying they should have tempered it with some regular food.

As they are vegan for some health issue rather than a morality issue, why would that have been such a big deal? I mean, going so far as to use soy milk for everyone? Just a little bit over the top to me.

Bingo! If your guests didn't feel welcomed, then you failed as a host/hostess. (and that is not limited to parties at your home, it includes weddings or any other function you are inviting people to).

 

[badcramps]

That's pretty much how the people who didn't like the vegan food saw it. The newlyweds went vegan for weight loss purposes, not ethical reasons, so why not have one dish that the majority of other people could enjoy? I would bet that something as inexpensive as a bowl of pasta with a marinara sauce on the side would've made the guests that were unhappy with the vegan fare happy.

Pasta with marinara sauce is vegan fare!!

I said earlier in the thread that I didn't think the issue at this wedding (as described) or the complaints of the the vast majority of posters who objected to the menu had anything to do with the lack of meat/dairy/eggs in the food because, after all, most heavy meat eaters still eat plenty of vegetables, fruits, grains, nuts, beans, etc. (Though I have to say I am totally shocked that there are people in the world--without serious health issues that restrict their diet--that simply *never* eat anything from the vegetable family.)

If pasta and marinara would have solved the issue at the wedding, then it's not true that 99.9% of the wedding guests "don't like/won't eat vegan food." The problem wasn't vegan food at all. The problem is that this particular group of people didn't happen to like (or refused to even try ) Middle Eastern food or tofu or soy or vegetables and finds these things not to be "mainstream" (which I have to say I find pretty ).



I am guessing this "mainstream" issue is regional because around here people eat and enjoy all different kinds of ethnic food and none of it is considered strange. And indeed soy, tofu, Middle Eastern--these are normal parts of omnivore diets around here. I ate Indian buffet for lunch yesterday (which was almost completely vegan except for one dish with cheese and probably some butter on the Naan and maybe in some dishes). There are at least 5-6 Indian restaurants in my city of about 100,000 (and it's not because of a large population of Indian people); it's because it is a normal kind of food to eat.

Every time I have ever eaten sushi (another 7-8 sushi places in town I would estimate) I have been given miso soup which is made with tofu as an appetizer that automatically comes with the rolls. Miso soup with tofu is a completely normal thing to eat around here.

There are about 4 Thai restaurants around. Many of the dishes you can choose tofu or chicken, but there are also some things that are done with tofu that can't be replicated with meat--particularly when tofu is fried in a certain way so that it is still wet on the inside but has a nice fried exterior. (Wish I knew how to do that with tofu myself!)

And Middle Eastern food is very big in this area. Everyone I know here eats Middle Eastern food. In fact, falafel and hummus sandwiches along with fattosh salad is regularly provided as lunch at my job since it is so cheap and easy and everybody likes it!

I guess given the feelings on this thread this must be a very unique area of the country. But all of this is "mainstream" for people I know. (Though I will agree, if the couple throwing the wedding knew for sure that their guests wouldn't like any of the foods they were serving, then perhaps they should have provided some pasta and marinara along with the rest of their menu.)

 

[CurlyGirl]

Pasta with marinara sauce is vegan fare!!

Not when the vegan couple doesn't eat pasta ...

 

[JessicaR]

Not when the vegan couple doesn't eat pasta ...

Well technically it is still Vegan fare.

 

[CurlyGirl]

What I think was rude in all this is going out to get - ahem - "better" food and bringing it back to the reception.

Where did I say that the people who ducked out brought the fast food back into the reception!?!?!? I NEVER said that they brought food into the reception!!!!

 

[CurlyGirl]

Well technically it is still Vegan fare.

Be that as it may, it still wasn't offered.

 

[JessicaR]

Be that as it may, it still wasn't offered.

I agree it wasnt offered. I actually didnt like most of what was offered. Blech!

 

[CurlyGirl]

Just curious though, did the people, including the children, who said they didn't like vegan food try any of it before going out to get something else?

Some tried it before running for fast food. Some said they've had veggie burgers and tofu in the past and didn't like it then, so they weren't eating it. And some just heard vegan and wanted no part.

 

[JessicaR]

Some tried it before running for fast food. Some said they've had veggie burgers and tofu in the past and didn't like it then, so they weren't eating it. And some just heard vegan and wanted no part.

My husband would be the one that heard the word vegan and wanted no part. Me I eat just about everything. This menu seemed heavy on the tofu and I think that was the largest mistake this couple made.

 

[okeydokey]

Not when the vegan couple doesn't eat pasta ...

They weren't the only ones eating.

 

[Pigeon]

Pasta with marinara sauce is vegan fare!!

Which would be infinitely improved with some cheese. Not some tofu, and certainly not nutritional yeast.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

Sounds like my stepdaugher. She's a vegetarian that eats fish, chicken, the occasional hamburger, pizza with pepperoni or sausage toppings, ham sandwiches, and maybe a few other things. Apparently it has to be a T-bone steak, pork chop, ribs, or something similar to be considered meat. Anything else is OK. Yet she insists she's a vegetarian.

Jim

But that poster isn't calling herself a vegetarian. I get annoyed too when asked if I eat fish, since so many people think that vegetarians do eat fish, (I used to too,) but she is calling herself a pescetarian, who do eat fish, not a vegetarian.

Pasta with marinara sauce is vegan fare!!

I said earlier in the thread that I didn't think the issue at this wedding (as described) or the complaints of the the vast majority of posters who objected to the menu had anything to do with the lack of meat/dairy/eggs in the food because, after all, most heavy meat eaters still eat plenty of vegetables, fruits, grains, nuts, beans, etc. (Though I have to say I am totally shocked that there are people in the world--without serious health issues that restrict their diet--that simply *never* eat anything from the vegetable family.)

If pasta and marinara would have solved the issue at the wedding, then it's not true that 99.9% of the wedding guests "don't like/won't eat vegan food." The problem wasn't vegan food at all. The problem is that this particular group of people didn't happen to like (or refused to even try ) Middle Eastern food or tofu or soy or vegetables and finds these things not to be "mainstream" (which I have to say I find pretty ).

I am guessing this "mainstream" issue is regional because around here people eat and enjoy all different kinds of ethnic food and none of it is considered strange. And indeed soy, tofu, Middle Eastern--these are normal parts of omnivore diets around here. I ate Indian buffet for lunch yesterday (which was almost completely vegan except for one dish with cheese and probably some butter on the Naan and maybe in some dishes). There are at least 5-6 Indian restaurants in my city of about 100,000 (and it's not because of a large population of Indian people); it's because it is a normal kind of food to eat.

Every time I have ever eaten sushi (another 7-8 sushi places in town I would estimate) I have been given miso soup which is made with tofu as an appetizer that automatically comes with the rolls. Miso soup with tofu is a completely normal thing to eat around here.

There are about 4 Thai restaurants around. Many of the dishes you can choose tofu or chicken, but there are also some things that are done with tofu that can't be replicated with meat--particularly when tofu is fried in a certain way so that it is still wet on the inside but has a nice fried exterior. (Wish I knew how to do that with tofu myself!)

And Middle Eastern food is very big in this area. Everyone I know here eats Middle Eastern food. In fact, falafel and hummus sandwiches along with fattosh salad is regularly provided as lunch at my job since it is so cheap and easy and everybody likes it!

I guess given the feelings on this thread this must be a very unique area of the country. But all of this is "mainstream" for people I know. (Though I will agree, if the couple throwing the wedding knew for sure that their guests wouldn't like any of the foods they were serving, then perhaps they should have provided some pasta and marinara along with the rest of their menu.)

I agree with the majority of your post. In my area all the ethnic restaurants are pretty normal, we have several Japanese/sushi restaurants, Thai, Indian, vegan and vegetarian restaurants, etc, but I still know plenty of people who would never try tofu or anything "weird." Heck, one of my friends refuses to eat anything green!

Some tried it before running for fast food. Some said they've had veggie burgers and tofu in the past and didn't like it then, so they weren't eating it. And some just heard vegan and wanted no part.

That is really just picky on those guest's part.

 

[maxiesmom]

Bingo! If your guests didn't feel welcomed, then you failed as a host/hostess. (and that is not limited to parties at your home, it includes weddings or any other function you are inviting people to).

I would think it would apply more so to a wedding, when people are usually bringing a gift with them, or giving money to the happy couple. People bring you stuff, you give them stuff to eat that they like. Nice exchange.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

I would think it would apply more so to a wedding, when people are usually bringing a gift with them, or giving money to the happy couple. People bring you stuff, you give them stuff to eat that they like. Nice exchange.

If someone doesn't bring a gift, should they not get any food? Or if they give a gift the couple doesn't like, they should get less / worse food?

I said it earlier, I'll say it again, the wedding should be about celebrating the couple. I'm sorry that so many people are so anti-vegan they let it put a damper on the day.

 

[ICF]

If someone doesn't bring a gift, should they not get any food? Or if they give a gift the couple doesn't like, they should get less / worse food?

What about those people who feel the wedding gift is supposed to "cover their plate" cost at the reception....?

If their meal is only a $5 combo from McD's, is that all they have to give??

 

[CurlyGirl]

What about those people who feel the wedding gift is supposed to "cover their plate" cost at the reception....?

If their meal is only a $5 combo from McD's, is that all they have to give??

Haha! What about those people who figured per plate cost was $150 per person, put $300 in the envelope to cover "per plate" for them and their spouse and then had to go out to buy their own dinner? lol! Can they take money out of the envelope?

 

[aprilgail2]

Haha! What about those people who figured per plate cost was $150 per person, put $300 in the envelope to cover "per plate" for them and their spouse and then had to go out to buy their own dinner? lol! Can they take money out of the envelope?

One wedding I went to I actually had to take money out of the envelope! They had a cash bar at the wedding- first one like that I had ever encountered as most are full open bars at weddings here. I didn't bring any money with me so I just took some out of the wedding gift envelope-and I wasn't the only one that had to do that LOL- we were laughing about it as you saw people sneek their envelopes under the tables to get money for drinks!

 

[luvmy3]

One wedding I went to I actually had to take money out of the envelope! They had a cash bar at the wedding- first one like that I had ever encountered as most are full open bars at weddings here. I didn't bring any money with me so I just took some out of the wedding gift envelope-and I wasn't the only one that had to do that LOL- we were laughing about it as you saw people sneek their envelopes under the tables to get money for drinks!

As much as I love an open bar, if I had to dip into the wedding gift to pay for drinks, I'd just go without alcohol. I have heard people say they would just take some money out of the envelope, but I figured it was just a joke. I didn't realize people actually did that stuff

 

[disneyfav4ever]

As much as I love an open bar, if I had to dip into the wedding gift to pay for drinks, I'd just go without alcohol. I have heard people say they would just take some money out of the envelope, but I figured it was just a joke. I didn't realize people actually did that stuff

I'd go without too.