Wedding dates - would you take this into consideration?

[L107ANGEL]

Ha ha!! I was just thinking "hey my sister's anniversary is the 26th!" Then I looked at the poster. Becker1123 is my sister!

How many of your family post here


To the OP, pick February 2nd. The look on peoples faces when I get presents and flowers on groundhog day is classic!

 

[Chicago526]

Getting flowers for the wedding around V-Day can be a issue too, so keep that in mind. For my wedding, I used red and white roses for EVERYTHING (bouquets to centerpieces to boutineers) and if we'd gotten married near V-Day, when roses are in short supply, it could have been either A) Very expensive or B) Poor quality.

 

[JennInTN]

Your wedding, your day, do it your way. I voted for the 17th.

If your way is to be sure that your brother takes part in the festivities, then you may want to think about the 10th. As I am sure you are discovering, a wedding can take a great deal of planning. You are not absolutely sure of his schedule and it will be difficult to put everything on hold until you have a schedule in hand. I do try to plan ahead, and can NEVER accommodate everyone's schedule. You just do your best.

I agree with a PP about the days though. In my personal experience, after almost 10 years, Valentine's is just another day in my house. And a few of those nearly 10 years, so is our anniversary. What's important is being happy. Everyday should be Valentine's!

 

[golfgal]

I didn't vote because I have 2 answers, first I would keep the date you want because if you move it to the 10th then aunt Marge can't make it and if you move it to the 1st, then Uncle Joe can't make it and if you move it to March, Grandma can't make it (see the problem here). Another consideration is what if for some reason your brother can't race that particular weekend, his car is broken or what ever, do you think long term you will regret that? Second, weather might be an issue, you might have a perfect winter, NO SNOW at all until you wake up the morning of your wedding to 6+ inches of snow and still falling and your fiance is an hour away at his parents and might not be able to make it to the wedding (our anniversary is Feb 23rd-we got over a foot of snow that day).

The plus side of a Feb wedding in MN is that no one else has them, there isn't that much to do in Feb so a lot of people will show up and you get discounts on the reception hall, caterer, DJ, etc.

 

[jbdreamer]

I would want my brother at my wedding. If he has an important event he does every year, I would schedule my wedding around it. It would be different if it was your uncle or cousin, but it's your brother!

 

[ForTheLoveofDisney]

Oh, if this isn't reminiscent of my own wedding date.

When DH went to talk to my father about getting married (mind you we were 22 and 18 respectively and on our own but it was done as a courtesy) my father states, "Oh, she must not have realized that's my week I go hunting."

I could have popped him one! This is typical behaviour for my dad. It always has (and always will be I fear) all about him!

Needless to say, we went with the date we wanted--December 5th-- and he was there. But honestly, even if he weren't able to make it because of hunting, I still would have gotten married on that date!

So I say, it is a momentous (hopefully) once in a lifetime event in your life. Go with the date you want. It is all about you not your brother's hobby.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

To the OP - I think it's great you're taking your brother's plans and feelings into consideration, and that your brother is willing to do the same for you. What I don't understand is the whole "it's YOUR wedding, YOUR day..." argument. For a lot of people a wedding wouldn't be special or mean anything if the people they loved weren't there to share it. While it is a bride's day, it doesn't mean that you have to stop being considerate of your loved ones.

 

[SC Minnie]

I wouldn't change it unless I knew for a fact the race was that day. What if you change it and then it comes out that the race is on the day you change it to?

For my brother I would change it though, especially if the date wasn't set in stone.

DH and I purposely got married in August because it wasn't around any holidays that involved presents!!!

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

To the OP - I think it's great you're taking your brother's plans and feelings into consideration, and that your brother is willing to do the same for you. What I don't understand the whole "it's YOUR wedding, YOUR day..." argument. For a lot of people a wedding wouldn't be special or mean anything if the people they loved weren't there to share it. While it is a bride's day, it doesn't mean that you have to stop being considerate of your loved ones.

Yes, exactly!

I don't buy the "it's your day" argument either. If you and your husband are the only ones who show up, it wouldn't be much fun!

I also understand that you can't plan around everybody's schedule. That would be 100% impossible. But you can plan around your parents and siblings and perhaps your closest friend(s). A family meeting with your immediate family to discuss the intial date just seems very considerate to me.

 

[disykat]

I voted to change it since you don't really have a reason not to. From what I'm gathering you want the 17th because of the year 2007 and you like the way it sounds? I think there are many issues around the wedding where what YOU want will trump everyone else, but this issue (IMO) shouldn't be one of them.

 

[mtemm]

when dh and I got engaged, we chose 10/11/97 as our wedding date. we wanted mid-october, thought it would be a nice weekend, liked the sound of it, etc. My aunt had a conflict...she told us she would gladly choose our wedding over the other wedding she had, but did let us know about the conflict all the same. It was so early, nothing was booked yet, so we changed out date to 10/18. We were blessed with a wonderful day...gorgeous fall weather, stunning foliage, etc. I figure karma works. lol.

essentially its up to you. personally, I'd change it, but its your wedding. If the 17th is your dream day, keep it.

 

[rigs32]

I forgot to mention before. DH and I were trying to find a date for our wedding. 15 months out, in a medium sized city, options were already limited for our budget. We picked a date in May, thinking DH's graduation would be the week before. Not that year! The whole calendar got pushed back, so DH had to miss his own college graduation (he was a non-traditional student) to get married. So, there's a chance the same thing could happen with your brother's race.

Also, if it was a work committment, I would definately try to schedule around immediate family, but like I said before, not for a hobby. My DH is a drummer so I know what it's like to have a relative with an "intense" hobby, but he knows not to book a show for an important date unless he clears it with me first. As an example, NYE is only in play if the money he earns can be used for us to celebrate privately in January.

 

[Jennifer S]

Ha ha!! I was just thinking "hey my sister's anniversary is the 26th!" Then I looked at the poster. Becker1123 is my sister!

Hi Beth and Becky. I always forget Becky's username. I didn't realize it was her either'

back to the thread

 

[PlaneJoy1]

I would rethink the 17th just b/c I think that most people will use that weekend to celebrate V-day. I can see a lot of people making it an "extra long weekend" by leaving after work on Wednesday (V-day) and going somewhere "special".

If your brother has traditionally gone to this event, I wouldn't do it that day anyway. He's willing to miss it for you... which says a lot. But why ask him to?

 

[chell]

I agree. Also, I have this strange distaste of odd-numbered days, so the 10th just sounds better to me.

Denae

That is how I feel for even numbered days. I prefer odd numbered everything.

Is there a month in the spring that would work better for you? The spring is so beautiful and you should have a lot more flowers to choose from.

 

[punkin]

My BIL just changed the day of his wedding because my DH couldn't be there. I was shocked he did it. I was not expecting him to do that. I would not have done it for him.

 

[L107ANGEL]

Ha ha!! I was just thinking "hey my sister's anniversary is the 26th!" Then I looked at the poster. Becker1123 is my sister!

I have to ask Beth, are you and your sister alike or like oil and water?

 

[Microcell]

I had a date all picked out for my wedding, but in consideration of cost, we moved it so it could be at the church where my FIL was a minister. I can't even remember what the other date was now.

They still charged my FIL for use of the church, which he paid without telling us. Hey at least the minister was free!

I really think the 10th would become the "remembered" date, and every bit as important as the 17th!

Do what you want though.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Take the date you really want! This is your wedding, not a birthday party one weekend or the next.

My aunt, uncle and cousins missed our wedding because my cousin was in the soccer state competition for her school team. Oh, well! They made their choice.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Your question is would you take this into consideration???

I suppose I would examine what you expect of your brother? Are you expecting him to be in the wedding, go to Rehearsal dinner, pay to rent a tux, buy you a gift, etc...

If you expect consideration from your brother, it would be nice to be considerate of him, esp. if you two are close.

As far as dates...I would go before VD. Why?
My birthday is Feb. 27th & DH's is Feb. 23rd. By the time it gets to my birthday they are all pooped.
I think making your Wedding Anniversary before VD makes it more special/important, instead of after.
Just my thought...I am sure others would feel different.