We say what we're gonna do, but we shouldn't REALLY follow through

[The Mystery Machine]

You can pile on me all you want. If you cannot understand a father tracking down his dd to get her away from a guy who wants to have sex with her in his car then I have nothing more to say.

If you pulled up from tracking down your dd and they are having sex in the car, you are telling me you would not be mad?

You folks are kidding yourself.

 

[kaffinito]

The dad should have been charged with attempted murder. If I were the boys parents I would be pushing hard for that.

But, the dad who drove the car into the lake lives in West Bloomfield. Around here that means $$$$ -and usually lots of $$$$. I wasn't surprised to read that he had only been charged with malicious destruction of property.

As far as the consent laws here in Michigan, I agree that they are somewhat sane.

 

[VillageMama]

I don't care what the law says, 14 is too young to consent.

If the dad had pulled out both the girl and the young man and then pushed the car into the lake in a fit of rage, I'd be rooting for him. "You won't be using this car to seduce my daughter again!".

But dang... I can't condone him endangering the life of the guy. That's beyond righteous anger.

 

[aprilgail2]

I'm still stuck on a 16 y/o with a brand new 2010 Dodge Charger.

I am stuck on that one too!!!!!

 

[Becky2005]

I don't care what the law says, 14 is too young to consent.

If the dad had pulled out both the girl and the young man and then pushed the car into the lake in a fit of rage, I'd be rooting for him. "You won't be using this car to seduce my daughter again!".

But dang... I can't condone him endangering the life of the guy. That's beyond righteous anger.

*sigh* -- I'm thinking I hardly doubt it was the guy doing the seducing. I remember being 14. It's more than likely possible the 14 year old knew exactly what she was doing & like everyone said, for all we know they were just kissing. I do feel sorry for my 3 boys when I read these threads. Life will be easier for them if I just give the warning of staying away from girls because they will only cause them trouble. The girls know they can get away with anything because it's always the guy's fault no matter what.

 

[MnMomtoboys]

No where did I say what the father did was correct. I love that I am getting quoted so much for it.

However I am disturbed by the number of posters that think the a 14yo girl is at fault here. This is a 16yo boy out to have sex with a 14yo. Ewww.

Are you kidding? All we know is that a father caught 2 kids in the back seat and overreacting. Your the one who has decided the boy is a sexual preditor and a rapist.

Maybe its time you said good night.

 

[NHdisneylover]

You can pile on me all you want. If you cannot understand a father tracking down his dd to get her away from a guy who wants to have sex with her in his car then I have nothing more to say.
If you pulled up from tracking down your dd and they are having sex in the car, you are telling me you would not be mad?

You folks are kidding yourself.

I CAN understand a father tracking down his daughter if he thought she was out with a boy when she should not be (and possibly having sex). I don't think anyone posted that they could not understand that.
I can understand him getting her out of that car and yelling at BOTH kids. I can udnerstand being angry.
What I CANNOT understand is losing control in that anger at lashing out to the point of injuring or endangering someone or something. Additionally, I cannot understand the attitude that it is all the boy's fault (yes even with the up to 2 year age difference). Many studies show that girls mature faster than boys not only physically but mentally--so in most cases with this age gap (assuming it is a full two years) the mental age would be very close to equal.

I would truly like to know your answer to my question earlier: If the boy were 14 and the girl would 16, do you feel the same level of anger and the same statutory rape charge, against the girl, would be justified?

 

[ems_mom]

Ok, I know this is stirring the pot, but...

Isn't it possible the 14 year old girl had sexual urges herself? We all "know" the 16 year old boy did, but having been a girl some 30 years ago and being the mother of a girl who survived adolescence... it's not impossible the girl was a willing participant.

Ok, just caught up on the responses and apparently I'm not the only one.

Girls can be just as dangerous as boys.

 

[golfgal]

You can pile on me all you want. If you cannot understand a father tracking down his dd to get her away from a guy who wants to have sex with her in his car then I have nothing more to say.

If you pulled up from tracking down your dd and they are having sex in the car, you are telling me you would not be mad?

You folks are kidding yourself.

I would be mad at BOTH kids. There is NO WAY this girl is totally innocent in this whole episode and that is the point YOU are missing. Not all 16 year old boys are sex crazed preditors--most are normal teenagers and necking in the back seat of a car is not out of the norm for a teenager.

 

[luvmy3]

I don't care what the law says, 14 is too young to consent.

If the dad had pulled out both the girl and the young man and then pushed the car into the lake in a fit of rage, I'd be rooting for him. "You won't be using this car to seduce my daughter again!".

But dang... I can't condone him endangering the life of the guy. That's beyond righteous anger.

Just because you are only 14 does not mean you are an innocent girl being taken advantage of. I have no doubt that most 14 year olds know what they are doing , or going to be doing when they get in the backseat of their boyfriends car. I'm not sure its possible to know the boy in this situation was the one doing the seducing.

Ok, I know this is stirring the pot, but...

Isn't it possible the 14 year old girl had sexual urges herself? We all "know" the 16 year old boy did, but having been a girl some 30 years ago and being the mother of a girl who survived adolescence... it's not impossible the girl was a willing participant.

Ok, just caught up on the responses and apparently I'm not the only one.

Girls can be just as dangerous as boys.

Of course, and like I said above I don't believe being 14 means you are innocent and naive. This girl knew what she was doing in that back seat. There is no way that if this girl was truly being forced, it would have been left out of the story, in fact it would be the father's defense.

 

[bballmom56]

If you pulled up from tracking down your dd and they are having sex in the car, you are telling me you would not be mad?

I did run into this. They hadn't gotten to that point, but they were behaving inappropriately in an inappropriate place. I got my D, took her out of there and read HER the riot act starting with "Are you too stupid to live?" I never said a word to the boy. SHE is responsible for HER actions. SHE should have known better. By handling it this way, I was empowering HER to make better decisions in the future.

 

[golfgal]

I would be mad at BOTH kids. There is NO WAY this girl is totally innocent in this whole episode and that is the point YOU are missing. Not all 16 year old boys are sex crazed preditors--most are normal teenagers and necking in the back seat of a car is not out of the norm for a teenager.

I did run into this. They hadn't gotten to that point, but they were behaving inappropriately in an inappropriate place. I got my D, took her out of there and read HER the riot act starting with "Are you too stupid to live?" I never said a word to the boy. SHE is responsible for HER actions. SHE should have known better. By handling it this way, I was empowering HER to make better decisions in the future.

I got to thinking about this and I agree, I would be MORE angry at my own kid and I probably would do what you did and read HER the riot act vs the boy. I have a 14 year old DD and a 14 year old DS there is NO WAY they don't know what would happen if they let it. Unless your child is developmentally delayed in some form a 14 year old is perfectly aware of what is going on.

We talk a lot about making good choices and how those choices effect everything you do from here on out. We use a lot of examples of people they know and how the bad choices they made got them to where they are. We hope it sinks in and so far so good.

 

[mumom95]

Go spend some time at the high school, teenage girls are quite aggressive these days. .

This is so true. I haven't taught full time in 10 years, but when I was a high school teacher, the girls were much more aggressive than the boys. Heck, even some of the young, male teachers had to be careful because of how aggressive some of them were. And this was a catholic school (not that the girls are any different in private vs public). In todays world I would never assume it was the boy making the move, it could just as easily be the girl.

 

[sunnyday123]

Why in the world would someone let their 14 year old daughter go out on a date with a 16 year old boy? My kids aren't that old yet, but at 14 the most I'm going to do is let my kids go out on a group date, where there are quite a few girls and boys.

That's what I was thinking.

 

[mumom95]

Was it a date? Maybe she was supposed to be somewhere else. Maybe "dad" found out she wasn't at the library (friend's house, etc), like she was supposed to be.

Hadn't thought about that, but it is a possibility.

 

[golfgal]

Why in the world would someone let their 14 year old daughter go out on a date with a 16 year old boy? My kids aren't that old yet, but at 14 the most I'm going to do is let my kids go out on a group date, where there are quite a few girls and boys.

Not that this isn't reasonable but keep in mind that a 14 year old is in HIGH SCHOOL. A lot can change between now and then.

People get so caught up on a number "my kids can't date until they are 16". Well in many parts of the country that is not until they are a senior in high school. You have just taken away a VERY good time for you to monitor their relationships. Basically you have put them in a situation where their first dating experience comes in COLLEGE . Sorry, but by being able to see the boys they go out with in high school can help you 'guide' them to good relationships and help you through rough times, etc. It is a lot like driving, many people here don't want their kids to drive until they are 18, well you just took away your ability to help them through the learning process of that as well.

Our goal with our kids is that by the time they are 18 they are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves. That can't happen if they have never had to do that before they turn 18. DS17 could easily manage living alone now. If we left for a month's vacation and left him home I would have zero concerns about him being able to get himself off to school, take care of cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, etc. He would be fine staying alone at night. Basically he is ready to go off to college. I can't imagine NOT having this comfort level with him by now.

 

[golfgal]

Was it a date? Maybe she was supposed to be somewhere else. Maybe "dad" found out she wasn't at the library (friend's house, etc), like she was supposed to be.

If this was the case then why get so mad at the boy-maybe the boy didn't know she lied to her dad. His anger should have been toward the DD for lying to him, shouldn't it????

 

[luvmy3]

If this was the case then why get so mad at the boy-maybe the boy didn't know she lied to her dad. His anger should have been toward the DD for lying to him, shouldn't it????

I don't know why anyone is assuming this dad wasn't mad at his dd.

 

[golfgal]

I don't know why anyone is assuming this dad wasn't mad at his dd.

Well the DD wasn't in the car when he drove it on to the ice, the BOY was. Again, I don't know that I would have said ANYTHING to the boy but my DD would have had an ear full and then some.

 

[luvmy3]

Well the DD wasn't in the car when he drove it on to the ice, the BOY was. Again, I don't know that I would have said ANYTHING to the boy but my DD would have had an ear full and then some.

So, that does not mean that his dd wasn't in trouble or that he had no plans to punish her. His gut reaction was to get his dd away from the boyfriend, if he was going to drive the truck onto the ice with both of them in there and then leave, that really would have accomplished nothing
I think he saw his little girl being taken advantage of (whether or not thats true), reacted the way any enraged irrational father would towards the boy, but I doubt that his dd wasn't going to see his wrath too. She just lucked out when he got arressted