We say what we're gonna do, but we shouldn't REALLY follow through

[luvmy3]

It would depend on the situation for me. For all we know this 16yo boy is a predator.

I don't think this 16 year old was doing anything different than any other 16 year old with a girlfriend.

 

[krcit]

But is everyone 100% sure that sex was attempted? I totally understand that if they had consentual sex, it was statutory rape. All we know is that the dad found the kids in the backseat. I doubt the prosecutor would go for that, which is why the officer didn't apply that charge, same with the attempted murder charge.

Exactly. Just because they were in the backseat doesn't mean they were having intercourse. I was in a backseat a time or two and was just kissing

Either way, that father is lucky that the boy wasn't hurt or killed.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

And I am not going to forever ruin a 16 year old boy's life for having consentual sex with my stupid 14 year old DD. Kids have sex. I forbid my DD from seeing this or any other boy, I have a serious talk with her, inform his parents of their activities, get my DD into the gynocologist, and hope she makes smarter decisions in the future.

I don't make a boy into a forever sex offender (and I definately don't do what THIS father did! ) I have a friend who's husband is a "sex offender" because he, at 16, had consentual sex with a 15 year old who's parents flipped out. He has a really hard time, and he is a great husband, wonderful father, and hard worker. But nothing is easy for him.

 

[Carly_Roach]

I'm still stuck on a 16 y/o with a brand new 2010 Dodge Charger.

 

[mumom95]

Why in the world would someone let their 14 year old daughter go out on a date with a 16 year old boy? My kids aren't that old yet, but at 14 the most I'm going to do is let my kids go out on a group date, where there are quite a few girls and boys.

 

[bballmom56]

And I am not going to forever ruin a 16 year old boy's life for having consentual sex with my stupid 14 year old DD. Kids have sex.

And although mine didn't get quite that far, I just made sure my 14 yo DD was far too busy to be able to be alone with him.

If there was no "force" involved on his part, the DD was just as much responsible.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Why in the world would someone let their 14 year old daughter go out on a date with a 16 year old boy? My kids aren't that old yet, but at 14 the most I'm going to do is let my kids go out on a group date, where there are quite a few girls and boys.

Was it a date? Maybe she was supposed to be somewhere else. Maybe "dad" found out she wasn't at the library (friend's house, etc), like she was supposed to be.

 

[luvmy3]

Was it a date? Maybe she was supposed to be somewhere else. Maybe "dad" found out she wasn't at the library (friend's house, etc), like she was supposed to be.

This is what I was thinking. I know when I was that age I wouldn't have been alllowed to go somewhere in a 16 year olds car, and the only way to do it would be to lie to my father.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

First of all I would never let my 14 year old go out with a boy alone. Second, that dad is crazy because he really could have killed that boy. Lastly, I feel sorry for that girl because now that everyone knows that she has a crazy daddy that would do this to a boy, she will never get another date in that town. The dad may be happy about this one though.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

First of all I would never let my 14 year old go out with a boy alone.

Maybe they didn't.

 

[golfgal]

Likewise I want the 16yo charged with satutory rape.

It would depend on the situation for me. For all we know this 16yo boy is a predator.

Well this is pretty extreme. What about the girl, what if it were all her idea--where is her responsibility in this????

I really doubt that. It sounds like two kids being kids.

Exactly

I don't think this 16 year old was doing anything different than any other 16 year old with a girlfriend.

Again, exactly.

Go spend some time at the high school, teenage girls are quite aggressive these days. Heck, look at their facebook accounts and the revealing pictures and poses where the boys have pictures of Pokemon characters . I seriously doubt that the boy was 100% at fault and charging him with statutory rape will ruin his life--has to become a registered sex offender and carry that with him forever.

 

[C.Ann]

There's no way to rationalize this man's behavior.. I'm actually surprised that he wasn't charged with attempted murder.. Hopefully the father will learn a lesson from all of this..

 

[NHdisneylover]

As the mother of a young teen girl I think the father was totally and completly out of line and I agree with many PPs that he should be charged with attempted murder.

I think he was just out of his mind angry. This boy is lucky he didn't get physically assaulted.

We have teen dd's and I know my dh would NOT be rational if he found one of our dd's in a compromising postion like that.

Your husband is an adult. He needs to be able to be rational. I was angry in the moment because that boy touched my snowflake is NOT an excuse to kill someone (which he might easily have done) nor even to damage property. I also agree that the girl is at much at fault as the boy.

Likewise I want the 16yo charged with satutory rape.

By Michigan law since she is over 13 so long as the age difference is less than 5 yeasr and he is not a teacher/counselor/etc. then no law was broken.

http://www.ageofconsent.com/michigan.htm

Here is the part of the law which applies here:
"Fourth Degree Criminal Sexual Conduct - Section 750.520e (a) A person is guilty of criminal sexual conduct in the fourth degree if he or she engages in sexual contact with another person and if any of the following circumstances, exist:
That other person is at least 13 years of age and under 16 years of age, and the actor is 5 or more years older than that other person "

I honestly think that with less than a two year age gap with teens both are equally able to know what they are doing and take responsibility. I would be angry in this situation at my daughter. I would not try to play her as the innocent victin and ruin a boy's life because I could not admit my own child was not perfect.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

No where did I say what the father did was correct. I love that I am getting quoted so much for it.

However I am disturbed by the number of posters that think the a 14yo girl is at fault here. This is a 16yo boy out to have sex with a 14yo. Ewww.

 

[NHdisneylover]

No where did I say what the father did was correct. I love that I am getting quoted so much for it.

However I am disturbed by the number of posters that think the a 14yo girl is at fault here. This is a 16yo boy out to have sex with a 14yo. Ewww.

I think BOTH kids are equally at fault here. My DD is just barely 13 but she knows what is and is not okay. I would absolutley consider her responsible for her actions in a similar scenario (knocking on wood such a sccenario does not play out any time soon). 14 year olds are generally pretty smart and capable of understanding actions and consequences. They still amek stupid decisions but they understnad what they are doing (about as much as 16 year olds do).
I am, as you say, "disturbed" that you feel the boy is 100% to blame. A serious question, had it been a 16 year old girl wih a 14 year old boy would you also feel the girl should be charged with satutory rape?

You never said what the father did was right, but you did say it was understandable (I do not understand adults endangeringa child's life because they are angry) and that your husband would probably do something similar and you implied that it should be excused because the father is angry.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

No where did I say what the father did was correct. I love that I am getting quoted so much for it.

However I am disturbed by the number of posters that think the a 14yo girl is at fault here. This is a 16yo boy out to have sex with a 14yo. Ewww.

No one said you said what the father did was correct.

And no one said that girl was at fault.

And I don't get the "ew" factor of a 16 yr old boy and 14 yr old girl having sex in the sense that you seem to be implying there's an older person with a younger person...we're not talking about a 40 yr old man and an underage girl...we're talking about two teens, with a two year age difference. Not condoning what they allegedly were doing...just that it's not a pedophile situation.

I think BOTH kids are equally at fault here. ... I am, as you say, "disturbed" that you feel the boy is 100% to blame. A serious question, had it been a 16 year old girl wih a 14 year old boy would you also feel the girl should be charged with satutory rape? ... You never said what the father did was right, but you did say it was understandable (I do not understand adults endangeringa child's life because they are angry) and that your husband would probably do something similar and you implied that it should be excused because the father is angry.

 

[bumbershoot]

I am not even a parent, and I can tell you that if someone maliciously drove my son into a frozen lake, I would want them to be charged with attempted murder.

I have a son, and the idea that someone might do that to him makes me ill.

Actually the whole tradition of threatening boys makes me ill, too. My first stepdad threatened to threaten boys I went out with, and thankfully he was never home (worked graveyard shift) when I was going out. Didn't he trust me to pick nice boys?

Likewise I want the 16yo charged with satutory rape.

IMO that makes no sense.

Your husband is an adult. He needs to be able to be rational.

By Michigan law since she is over 13 so long as the age difference is less than 5 yeasr and he is not a teacher/counselor/etc. then no law was broken.

http://www.ageofconsent.com/michigan.htm

Here is the part of the law which applies here:
"Fourth Degree Criminal Sexual Conduct - Section 750.520e (a) A person is guilty of criminal sexual conduct in the fourth degree if he or she engages in sexual contact with another person and if any of the following circumstances, exist:
That other person is at least 13 years of age and under 16 years of age, and the actor is 5 or more years older than that other person "

I agree that adults need to be rational about these things. And perhaps think about how THEY were when they were kids, and not judge kids based on what they wish they had done (or not done) as kids.

Glad to hear Michigan's law is so sane.

And I don't get the "ew" factor of a 16 yr old boy and 14 yr old girl having sex in the sense that you seem to be implying there's an older person with a younger person...we're not talking about a 40 yr old man and an underage girl...we're talking about two teens, with a two year age difference. Not condoning what they allegedly were doing...just that it's not a pedophile situation.

I agree. Plus, no one says they were having sex.

I had smoochy sessions from 16 on (first kids at 15 but it was awful and put me off of it for a year, LOL) and they didn't involve anything more than smooching! Not even with the 22 year old (I don't know what HE was thinking, but I sure had fun!).

 

[golfgal]

No where did I say what the father did was correct. I love that I am getting quoted so much for it.

However I am disturbed by the number of posters that think the a 14yo girl is at fault here. This is a 16yo boy out to have sex with a 14yo. Ewww.

Ok, the girl is probably a freshman in high school and the boy is probably a sophomore--that isn't THAT big if a deal. What if the boy turned 16 last week and the girl turns 15 next week? They are only a year apart then. I can tell you that most 14 year old girls are much more "sexually aware" then 16 year old boys.

 

[AKL_Megs]

Ok, the girl is probably a freshman in high school and the boy is probably a sophomore--that isn't THAT big if a deal. What if the boy turned 16 last week and the girl turns 15 next week? They are only a year apart then. I can tell you that most 14 year old girls are much more "sexually aware" then 16 year old boys.

I was just going to say the exact same thing!

My first BF in high school was a year older than me (he was 16 with a car and I was 15) I guess that is pretty yucky gross, too!

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

My 16 yr old son (a Junior) is out with a 17 yr old girl (a senior...or maybe she's turned 18 already? )...she better leave him alone, or she's going to find herself and her car out on a lake.