We really are pretty judgmental around here!!!!

[auntpolly]

Me included - I'm no better.

But if you really look at the threads on the CB, in so many of them we are assuming the worst about people, including and maybe even especially our own families!!!

We talk in such absolutes - we say that people are stupid or mean or thoughtless to us -- and nothing is ever that simple.

I really think it's very very important to try to see where the other person is coming from, or at least consider that they may be coming from someplace that we don't understand. I know it's hard to do that. I'm constantly declaring that people are "idiots" (in traffic, in my town's "society", in government).

Don't you think we're all too judgemental???

 

[Bob Slydell]

Don't you think we're all too judgemental???

Yes, I do think so.

Of course, I don't ever really see that changing, so I'm learning to embrace my judgemental side.

 

[binny]

oh yeah.





I think some of it, at least on the boards, stems from not being able to see how things are intended in a post. The great disadvantage to the internet is that intent cannot be read. It can be heard or seen when one is talking on the phone or face to face but on the internet, unless we pepper our posts with it can be very difficult to see where that person is coming from.

 

[Lanshark]

I totally agree.

 

[DawnCt1]

Definately, and gossipy as well.

 

[auntpolly]

I guess alot of times people are just venting too.

But you know, someone posts that their MIL is mean to them, for example, and they are A) maybe not telling us the MIL's side of the story and B) just venting and in a bad mood -- and what happens??

People jump in and tell the OP to cut off relations with the MIL!!! When they just need to be cajoled and soothed a little and reminded that everything will be OK. Everyone's first response is always "They suck! Get rid of them!!"

 

[Fitswimmer]

Oh wow-yes. I'm a very opinionated person, I'll freely admit that to anyone who actually needs to ask. (most people figure it out quickly enough on their own though! ) But I have to admit, sometimes some of the threads really leave me scratching my head at why people feel the need to make such comments about the choices other people make in their lives. Good grief, we don't have to agree 100% with everything everyone else chooses, but that doesn't mean we can't acknowledge that they put the same kind of thought into their choices as we put into ours. Sometimes it's hard for me to get my head around why someone would make a particular choice, but I do really try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Somedays I'm better at it than others, and as a PP said-sometimes posts don't come out with the intent that the poster meant them to, so things get misunderstood.

 

[binny]

I guess alot of times people are just venting too.

But you know, someone posts that their MIL is mean to them, for example, and they are A) maybe not telling us the MIL's side of the story and B) just venting and in a bad mood -- and what happens??

People jump in and tell the OP to cut off relations with the MIL!!! When they just need to be cajoled and soothed a little and reminded that everything will be OK. Everyone's first response is always "They suck! Get rid of them!!"

yeah well some of them really DO suck


JK Im being judgemental.




I agree. They say there are 3 sides to every story his hers and the truth. The same can be said for most everything.

 

[Maleficent13]

People jump in and tell the OP to cut off relations with the MIL!!! When they just need to be cajoled and soothed a little and reminded that everything will be OK. Everyone's first response is always "They suck! Get rid of them!!"

Lots of advice is given from the giver's point of view and personal experience. I think all advice has to be viewed through that perspective.

 

[Southern4sure]

I teach my kids that everytime you point at someone you have 3 fingers pointing back at you and unless you are perfect there is no excuse for pointing.

 

[Tybug]

You are absolutely right Aunt Polly! I'm often amazed at how many feel it's all about "my" feelings and to hell with the person that has wronged me. Of course knowing that we're only seeing one side of the story should stop many of those remarks if only folks would stop and take notice.

We all have bad days from time to time... we need to vent and feel validated.

 

[auntpolly]

You are absolutely right Aunt Polly! I'm often amazed at how many feel it's all about "my" feelings and to hell with the person that has wronged me. Of course knowing that we're only seeing one side of the story should stop many of those remarks if only folks would stop and take notice.

We all have bad days from time to time... we need to vent and feel validated.

Well, we can be excused from all of this -- menopause, you know! We're not ourselves right now...

 

[JunieJay]

I really don't think people are that judgemental, no. It seems like everyone here tries hard not to be judgemental for fear of being reamed a new one by hordes of angry DISers! I'd never really vent here on the DIS, I've seen far too many people get ripped for being judgemental when all they are really doing is blowing off steam.

 

[Tybug]

Well, we can be excused from all of this -- menopause, you know! We're not ourselves right now...

OH! Throw in the "M" word and all past theories go right out the window!

 

[auntpolly]

I'd never really vent here on the DIS, I've seen far too many people get ripped for being judgemental when all they are really doing is blowing off steam.

But if you think about it - it's just a bunch of people being judgemental in their own way!

Someone says "My child's teacher is being so mean!" and they are upset and just need to be gently reminded about something and instead, 100 angry posters jump in and tell the OP how much she sucks!

Everyone gets so angry all the time!!!

 

[Ciao Mickey]

Me included - I'm no better.

But if you really look at the threads on the CB, in so many of them we are assuming the worst about people, including and maybe even especially our own families!!!

We talk in such absolutes - we say that people are stupid or mean or thoughtless to us -- and nothing is ever that simple.

I really think it's very very important to try to see where the other person is coming from, or at least consider that they may be coming from someplace that we don't understand. I know it's hard to do that. I'm constantly declaring that people are "idiots" (in traffic, in my town's "society", in government).

Don't you think we're all too judgemental???

I was called crass and tacky in another thread.

Or rather, what I do is crass and tacky, which when you think about it, is an underhanded way of calling a person crass and tacky!

 

[auntpolly]

OH! Throw in the "M" word and all past theories go right out the window!

That can be our strategy on this board from now on -- when someone gets mad at us, let's start using the menopause card!!!

 

[auntpolly]

I was called crass and tacky in another thread.

Or rather, what I do is crass and tacky, which when you think about it, is an underhanded way of calling a person crass and tacky!

Well I hope you took it to heart and saw the error of your ways! Kidding! What did that person hope to achieve by saying that???

 

[Bob Slydell]

I guess alot of times people are just venting too.

But you know, someone posts that their MIL is mean to them, for example, and they are A) maybe not telling us the MIL's side of the story and B) just venting and in a bad mood -- and what happens??

People jump in and tell the OP to cut off relations with the MIL!!! When they just need to be cajoled and soothed a little and reminded that everything will be OK. Everyone's first response is always "They suck! Get rid of them!!"

Yes, but my MIL does really suck

...and I'd love to cut off contact with her, but that is more difficult to do in reality than it is to say on a message board.

 

[KarenB]

Do you think we would judge the same if we were talking to the posters face to face? I wonder how much we play off the Internet-you know, not "really" knowing who we are talking to, we can just log off if we want.......


but then, I have been a bit bold since menopause is beginning to kick in

Karen