We Have Not Even Sent the Paperwork Back & We Have Drama

[edk35]

Well first of all it seems that you have NOT turned in your paperwork right? You have not booked that trip. I would just explain to them that they are more than welcome to go to WDW when you all go, but you will only have enough points to go once a year and stay in a studio or 1 bedroom. They can either try and rent points where you are staying or stay at another Disney resort booked through CRO. If you are getting AP's then maybe you can book their stay with an AP discount. I love my family dearly, but I would not give up annual trips to Disney to accomodate them and only go every 3 years or always be in a state of borrowing.

 

[dianeschlicht]

My husband just got off the phone with his parents and explained to them the reason we asked them to pay for their room. They agree it is a bargain and said they would have done the same. They said they do not understand the timeshare, yet they have two themselves, so I dunno about that. LOL

Looks like alls well that ends well, but this should be a lesson for you. Maybe in the future you should "suggest" to the inlaws that you might "exchange" some time with them at one of their timeshares for some time with you at your DVC. That might make it feel more equitable to everyone involved.

 

[edk35]

Well that is good that they undestand. However this still means you only using DVC once every 3 years right?

 

[Brian Noble]

They said they do not understand the timeshare, yet they have two themselves, so I dunno about that. LOL

As I wrote above, it's not that hard to imagine. If they happen to own weeks instead of points, for example, it might not occur to them that you have the flexibility of booking different-sized units.

 

[dclfun]

I have friends who *always* invite friends/family along- for them, it's what they're looking for in a vacation- being able to be joined by other people vs. just their own family. In turn, those friends have purchased park passes for them or meals during the trip- there has always been some sort of equitable exchange where everyone benefited. My kids are now grown, so I do let them use points for their families or to join me on a trip, but of course they're my own kids and I want them to use the points. They don't have an expectation that they'll always be staying on property for free. I guess then the distinction is that- they perceive it as a gift vs. an entitlement. I don't like the entitlement mentality in general, so I guess if I ever felt that way, it would ruffle a nerve.---Kathy

 

[bytheblood]

Well that is good that they undestand. However this still means you only using DVC once every 3 years right?

No. They are going to book their own room and hope that they get a discount code. My MIL insisted on getting the room for free, but my FIL said he thought it was crazy to use up our points in order to get a room they can afford to pay for on their own.

What it comes down to (and I wanted to avoid saying this in my first post) is that my MIL is very cheap. My husband and I always make reference to that 80s song and say she wants money for nothing and chicks for free.

If it were her timeshare at Disney, she would want the payment 90 days out and this would not even be a conversation.

 

[bytheblood]

Looks like alls well that ends well, but this should be a lesson for you. Maybe in the future you should "suggest" to the inlaws that you might "exchange" some time with them at one of their timeshares for some time with you at your DVC. That might make it feel more equitable to everyone involved.

That is a good suggestion. They would never pay dues and payments knowing somebody else is going instead of them. I guess that is what rubs me the wrong way about them expecting their room for free and me using 3 years worth of points to bring them along.

 

[bytheblood]

Well first of all it seems that you have NOT turned in your paperwork right? You have not booked that trip. I would just explain to them that they are more than welcome to go to WDW when you all go, but you will only have enough points to go once a year and stay in a studio or 1 bedroom. They can either try and rent points where you are staying or stay at another Disney resort booked through CRO. If you are getting AP's then maybe you can book their stay with an AP discount. I love my family dearly, but I would not give up annual trips to Disney to accomodate them and only go every 3 years or always be in a state of borrowing.

You are correct, the vacation is not booked yet because it is not 11 months out yet. (next year in Dec) We were in the planning stage and setting up renting points from my friend and then my husband and I decided to buy in.

My MIL would not be able to rent from anybody because she would not like the cancellation policy. What my friend would offer to me, she would not offer to my in-laws.

The AP discount is a great suggestion - I did not think about that. Thank you!

My MIL is insistent upon saying "you bought a suite, I don't understand why we have to pay". We keep telling her we bought points, not a suite, but she is very thick. If she wants to believe the sky is purple, you will never convince her otherwise.

 

[bytheblood]

I agree with all of the above. I think the difference here though is that we INVITE people to be our guest but the OP didn't invite the parents to be guests, they invited themselves to come for free. That wouldn't sit well with me, either.

I am glad that somebody gets that.

The initial conversation we had was about renting points and everybody paying their way. As soon as they caught wind (listening in on a conversation my sister and I were having), my MIL got all worked up because she was going to Disney for Free. When my husband told his mom no, she flipped out. It was that simple.

 

[bytheblood]

What I said was intended very matter-of-factly. If you didn't feel strongly about being compensated for your points, it wouldn't be an issue, would it?

I apologize for misreading your intentions. I guess I was on edge last night about all of this and read more into your comments than what you meant.

 

[bytheblood]

I realize you are not just picking a number, but it sounds like you are dividing the room based on the original rental cost. Maybe a compromise would be to only charge them enough to cover the dues for the number of points it is costing you to book a 2 bedroom instead of a 1 bedroom. Then they might not feel like they are paying full price while you are now getting it for free. Of course the rental price wasn't really "full price" anyway and you certainly aren't getting it for "free", but that might be their take because you don't have to put out any cash for the particular vacation and they still are paying the same amount, which they probably see as going in your pocket.

Good luck!
Caroline

The cost we asked them to pay is less that what it would be if I was renting the points to a very close friend. It is really to cover our dues since we have to pay them yet we will not be able to vacation.

Essentially, because we are buying into DVC.....yes, my MIL thinks we are getting it for free.

 

[mousefan1972]

Reading this thread makes me think of one I posted in recently:
http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2461553

It is definitely the easy way out, but no one can put us in the OP's position if they don't know we've purchased DVC...

 

[Eventer98]

I am glad you got everything figured out. We are taking my SIL and her family and DH's parents in Oct. My SIL is paying me for her studio at $8 per point. She is also paying me for half the points needed for my in-laws room and I'm giving them the other half. His parents have not offered to pay for things in other places but we are ok with it. I also don't feel bad charging my SIL b/c they have the money to burn and are getting a fantastic deal.
We are going again in 12/12 with the same group plus some. Points will be limited so my SIL knows she will on her own and we will hopefully get a Treehouse and let my inlaws stay for free again. It really depends on each person and what works for them..as many other posters said.

 

[Dean]

No. They are going to book their own room and hope that they get a discount code. My MIL insisted on getting the room for free, but my FIL said he thought it was crazy to use up our points in order to get a room they can afford to pay for on their own.

What it comes down to (and I wanted to avoid saying this in my first post) is that my MIL is very cheap. My husband and I always make reference to that 80s song and say she wants money for nothing and chicks for free.

If it were her timeshare at Disney, she would want the payment 90 days out and this would not even be a conversation.

I predict this is not the last you'll hear of this issue and I wonder out loud if this is not par for the course with your MIL and her interactions with your family. About the best that this came come out is that your MIL is looking at this like you're trying to charge them for space you're going to waist anyway like might occur in a weeks timeshare.

 

[bytheblood]

I want to thank everybody for all of the suggestions and feedback.

I spoke to a friend of mine who is going to let me purchase points from her and have them transferred to my account. This will allow me to use my (banked) 2010 points and 2011 points for my vacation in December vacation and not touch my points for 2012.

We spoke with my father-in-law (the logical one) this afternoon after deciding what we should do and he said he thought it was very fair and will transfer the money from his account to my husband's as soon as we close on DVC.

All is good and he has the final word!!

 

[bytheblood]

I predict this is not the last you'll hear of this issue and I wonder out loud if this is not par for the course with your MIL and her interactions with your family. About the best that this came come out is that your MIL is looking at this like you're trying to charge them for space you're going to waist anyway like might occur in a weeks timeshare.

You hit the nail on the head about her.

Without going into too much detail - she has a son (my husband) and a daughter. They do and give everything to their daughter and her family and expect the moon and the stars from our family.

At Christmas, she gives us her "wish list" from places like Macy's, Dooney & Coach and then shops for us at Wal-Mart, the Dollar General and such.

I just do what I do and know that this life is temporary and all of this will one day fade away.

You are right - she will have something to say again and that is fine; my husband and my father-in-law will take care of it. We are firm on what we are doing, so it is all good. He will come to play golf with his son even if that means he leaves her at home.

 

[Dean]

You hit the nail on the head about her.

Without going into too much detail - she has a son (my husband) and a daughter. They do and give everything to their daughter and her family and expect the moon and the stars from our family.

At Christmas, she gives us her "wish list" from places like Macy's, Dooney & Coach and then shops for us at Wal-Mart, the Dollar General and such.

I just do what I do and know that this life is temporary and all of this will one day fade away.

You are right - she will have something to say again and that is fine; my husband and my father-in-law will take care of it. We are firm on what we are doing, so it is all good. He will come to play golf with his son even if that means he leaves her at home.

Sounds Fun, not. At least your husband and FIL are on level ground and willing to take care of business. So many of these type posts over the years include wimpy other family members that enable the problem person and do not support their spouse the way they should. Obviously we only get one side of the story in such a situation but I do feel for many of them and am glad we don't have major drama queens/kings in our inner circle. I also beleive that our rules for travel have prevented avoidable issues but there's no avoiding certain people and their drama other than just leaving them out, sometimes not even then.

 

[GrazingGoat1966]

Make sure she takes the DVC sales tour while she's staying at the world and get her to explain to the sales consultant how on earth she thinks that staying at Vacation Club somehow works out to be "free".

Lets see how far that gets her!


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