RickinNYC
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2003
- Messages
- 7,870
A couple of years back, Joe and I had started the process of planning our wedding/commitment ceremony/party/whatever you want to call it. At that point in our lives, after 13 years together, I really felt it was time to move forward to the next level in our relationship. Plus, all of our married-with-children friends were nagging the bejesus out of us to do something of the sort.
The planning started, as well as a lot of choking and coughing and eye popping and whining about the cost of food, dj, booze, flowers and all the other nonsense attributed to said event. We plowed through it, planner in tow, visiting reception spaces, making deposits. It was a crazed but fun experience, and pretty exciting if you ask me.
Because of the poltical climate at that time, and subsequently growing with more vehemence across the country, Joe and I sat down and really talked about what we hoped to accomplish with a wedding/commitment ceremony/party/whatever you want to call it. Why were we doing this? Did we really need to throw a lavish party just to validate our relationship? The answer was a resounding NO. Plus, I felt strongly that we were going to pour that much money into the wedding industry, an industry that would not really recognize us as a married couple anyway. Our hopes and dreams started sounding more and more ridiculous with each guest added to our growing list.
Sure, we wanted to get married. Yes, we wanted our friends there to celebrate with us. Absolutely, we want to stand before our loved ones and announce our love and commitment to each other. But at what cost? Not in our checking accounts but at what cost to us? If we moved forward and had a wedding/commitment ceremony/party/whatever you want to call it and were still not even legally married after the effort and expense, doesn't that in some warped way support the detractors to gay marriage? Can't they sit back on their laurels and say, "See? Those boys didn't need it it be legal and they're perfectly happy. We don't NEED to make it legal."
I wanted no part of that. We decided to do whatever we possibly could, within the legal constraints of the city, state or federal government. We chose to follow every rule to the letter.
With that, Joe and I went to the Queens County courthouse this past Friday, just the two of us. We quietly registered as domestic partners as is legally allowed in New York City. Our rights are protected within the confines of New York City provided Joe remains an employee of said city.
It was quiet, it was a little bittersweet, it was the least we could do under the law, and it was gratifying to some extent.
So, with that, after more than 15 years together, we got "married" this past Friday. And I guarantee you that when it becomes legal (and it well you laurel resters), we're going to do it again, with all the bells and whistles and the bad DJ.
The planning started, as well as a lot of choking and coughing and eye popping and whining about the cost of food, dj, booze, flowers and all the other nonsense attributed to said event. We plowed through it, planner in tow, visiting reception spaces, making deposits. It was a crazed but fun experience, and pretty exciting if you ask me.
Because of the poltical climate at that time, and subsequently growing with more vehemence across the country, Joe and I sat down and really talked about what we hoped to accomplish with a wedding/commitment ceremony/party/whatever you want to call it. Why were we doing this? Did we really need to throw a lavish party just to validate our relationship? The answer was a resounding NO. Plus, I felt strongly that we were going to pour that much money into the wedding industry, an industry that would not really recognize us as a married couple anyway. Our hopes and dreams started sounding more and more ridiculous with each guest added to our growing list.
Sure, we wanted to get married. Yes, we wanted our friends there to celebrate with us. Absolutely, we want to stand before our loved ones and announce our love and commitment to each other. But at what cost? Not in our checking accounts but at what cost to us? If we moved forward and had a wedding/commitment ceremony/party/whatever you want to call it and were still not even legally married after the effort and expense, doesn't that in some warped way support the detractors to gay marriage? Can't they sit back on their laurels and say, "See? Those boys didn't need it it be legal and they're perfectly happy. We don't NEED to make it legal."
I wanted no part of that. We decided to do whatever we possibly could, within the legal constraints of the city, state or federal government. We chose to follow every rule to the letter.
With that, Joe and I went to the Queens County courthouse this past Friday, just the two of us. We quietly registered as domestic partners as is legally allowed in New York City. Our rights are protected within the confines of New York City provided Joe remains an employee of said city.
It was quiet, it was a little bittersweet, it was the least we could do under the law, and it was gratifying to some extent.
So, with that, after more than 15 years together, we got "married" this past Friday. And I guarantee you that when it becomes legal (and it well you laurel resters), we're going to do it again, with all the bells and whistles and the bad DJ.
shook their heads at our decision, are now divorced. Go figure.
Mazel Tov!!! 
