We Are SUNK - Any Advice?

[lisaross]

Seems like all great suggestions!

I hope things work out for you and your family...

 

[Pigeon]

4 hours * $8 = $32.00

40 miles at 10 mpg = 4 gallons * $3.38 (national average) = $13.52

Looks to me like the math says someone doing that could make $18.48 each shift. More if the pay rate was higher or the gas was split with errands you would make anyway or carpooling with someone.

Grossing $8 per hour does not net $8/hr. Yes, he'd earn something, but it's going to be somewhat less than that.

 

[nancytoby]

Grossing $8 per hour does not net $8/hr. Yes, he'd earn something, but it's going to be somewhat less than that.

Of course, but my example was just using the numbers the OP had cited. The point is that there is a very good reason to look for part-time employment even though it's some drive away even when one has a high-mpg vehicle and gas prices are high. There are usually ways to increase the profitability - carpooling, mass transport, combining trips, finding a higher-wage position, etc. Definitely not a hopeless cause!

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

Maybe you can look into getting a job for the holidays in the town where you already work. You could work part time after your regular job and not use more gas. Yes, it would cut back on family time, but it might help in the short term.

 

[seashoreCM]

Honestly, the hardest part is the kids right now. My oldest has been eligible to get a drivers permit for almost a year and hasn't been able to go because we can't afford the bump in insurance. We toyed with the idea that he get a job to help pay for insurance/gas, but haven't found anything that would even pay enough to cover that. If he works 4 hours at a time @ $8/hr, thats $36. If it costs us $20 in gas to get him to work and bac....doesn't make much financial sense. He says he is OK with not driving, but I can see his heart breaking when others his age are driving and he isn't. He didn't ask for any of this mess, yet he is paying a price for it. There are days when I feel like the meanest mother in the world.

A job is not worth it if it costs almost as much to commute there as you take home in pay.

Mature teenagers don't make a big fuss about getting a car and driving.

Before letting your kid drive, you should have a million dollars of insurance, typically including an umbrella policy.

When I was growing up (in a decent suburban town), it was said that the typical high schooler got into an accident within a year of getting his license.

I did not have a car until I graduated from college.

If you are running into health and dental problems, consider having the older kids drop (or audit) some high school courses (public school only) if that will allow them to earn more money. The missed courses can be made up in a later year.

 

[a1tinkfans]

OP: sorry to hear about your troubles. I want to wish you the very best. Stay Strong, Stay Positive, you WILL get thru this, lets hope it is much sooner than later........

 

[My2CrazyGirls]

Hi! I didn't read your whole thread but I want to say I am sorry you are in your current situation. Just from what I read, it looks like your mortgage would be really low. You said you and your husband both work and can't make ends meet. Are you SURE you don't qualify for some sort of assistance? You have a family of 5, if your income is low you would qualify for somthing. The whole purpose of assistance is to help people in your situation to get by in hard times....then you get off it. Of course there are able bodied people who spend their whole lives living off government checks....which is ridiculous. But that is a whole other story. Look into it and good luck Hang in there.

 

[DisMN]

The portion I bolded? Do NOT put them on CL just yet.. They sound too valuable.. Call around and have several antique dealers come to your home and look at them.. (If possible, do a search online to see what they're worth first..) If they come close to the numbers you find - or offer a significant amount of money that you feel would be sufficient for those particular items - I would sell to the one who offers you the most.. For those items, CL would not be my first choice - they could be worth quite a bit (especially the stove and trunk)..

Good luck!

C.Ann, I know they are large old items but old stoves and trunks are really a dime a dozen. I'd also stay away from dealers. That will cost a lot of time contacting and money as in money they will NOT offer her. The best bet for the items she listed is craigslist, and screen the offers via email so your phone number and address isn't publicly placed on craigslist.

Called CCCS last night and they are sending me info. Made an appointment with them for the first week in Dec. Their office is only open 2 days a week and their appointments are full for the one day next week they are open (closed the other day for Thanksgiving.).
Christmas is a serious unknown at our house right now. We need to talk to the kids this weekend and explain the situation. Even if we are only able to give them something small, they do have grandparents who will see that they are happy.

CCCS is notoriously conservative. I and many others I've talked to tried to go through CCCS and were told they'd have to file bankruptcy, that CCCS could not/would not help them.
I think a better bet would be to contact a company like CareOne Credit. They will probably have you on a payment plan within 72 hours of you contacting them and they also do all the contacting of your creditors.
Like you, we too did not want to go the bankrupcy route and the program we've been on has been a blessing.


I see many helpful comments about cutting your bills and getting part time jobs and such. If you're in serious debt those things are like putting a bandaid on a severed arm. You probably need to work hard and fast to cut bigger amounts off your monthly payments and do it soon, from what it sounds like.

I think you will find CCCS extremely helpful. They will negotiate with companies on your behalf and put an end to any creditor harassment.

Start now by assembling copies of ALL bills and financial obligations and ALL credit cards that you have. Prepare yourself to switch over to cash/check-only way of doing your family finances.

Good luck!

If you are fairly deep in debt CCCS may not be willing to do much for you except to recommend that you go bankrupt.
With the company we went with there was no appointments needed, no waiting and relatively little hassle. You do have your own work to do when using any kind of credit counselling service but I can't tell you how much we've been helped by them.

Best of luck!!

 

[moonpie85]

I think it's wonderful you have contacted CCCS. They do alot of good and have helped several people I know.

I'm probably in the minority here but to me that extra income isn't worth my child's education. To have them drop a class to work or their grades start slipping due to working too much would be a horrible thing in my opinion. I'm not saying working in high school is a bad thing, I had a job through high school and I learned alot about money during those 2 years. But at the same time I missed out on alot of high school activities and my grades dropped from solid As to Bs and Cs from working 20-30 hours a week. I had no time to study.

So if the kiddos do get jobs just don't allow them to work much. I look back on that time and think what were my parents thinking.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

I think it's wonderful you have contacted CCCS. They do alot of good and have helped several people I know.

I'm probably in the minority here but to me my child's education isn't worth having them drop a class to work or their grades start slipping due to working too much. I'm not saying working in high school is a bad thing, I had a job through high school and I learned alot about money during those 2 years. But at the same time I missed out on alot of high school activities and my grades dropped from solid As to Bs and Cs from working 20-30 hours a week. I had no time to study.

So if the kiddos do get jobs just don't allow them to work much. I look back on that time and think what were my parents thinking.

While I think that the kids should get a short-term job now, I agree with the poster. Only as long as needed to get out of the critical. Once you hit the guarded stage, then it's up to you and DH.

 

[bumbershoot]

I'm probably in the minority here but to me my child's education isn't worth having them drop a class to work or their grades start slipping due to working too much. I'm not saying working in high school is a bad thing, I had a job through high school and I learned alot about money during those 2 years. But at the same time I missed out on alot of high school activities and my grades dropped from solid As to Bs and Cs from working 20-30 hours a week. I had no time to study.

So if the kiddos do get jobs just don't allow them to work much. I look back on that time and think what were my parents thinking.

On the other hand, my good friend in college worked as many hours as she could from as young as she could during high school, got straight As in hard classes, had time for a serious boyfriend, AND was on the swim team. She absolutely thrives when she's got a full schedule, and always has. Never know until you start!

And I'm not sure that anyone is suggesting to have the kids drop a class.

 

[HunnyPots]

C.Ann, I know they are large old items but old stoves and trunks are really a dime a dozen. I'd also stay away from dealers. That will cost a lot of time contacting and money as in money they will NOT offer her. The best bet for the items she listed is craigslist, and screen the offers via email so your phone number and address isn't publicly placed on craigslist.

Totally agree with this. Plus, a dealer will only offer you a wholesalers price at best because he has to be able to sell them for a profit. CL is the way to go for the best price.

 

[C.Ann]

C.Ann, I know they are large old items but old stoves and trunks are really a dime a dozen. I'd also stay away from dealers. That will cost a lot of time contacting and money as in money they will NOT offer her. The best bet for the items she listed is craigslist, and screen the offers via email so your phone number and address isn't publicly placed on craigslist.

You could be right about the trunk - depending on the type - but if the cook stove is anything like the one that used to be in my place at the lake, CL would not be my first choice.. There is an antique dealer up in that area that came to purchase mine quite a few years ago (wanted my antique dining room table and chairs too but there was no way I was getting rid of those - next year the set will be 100 yrs. old) and he paid me a substantial amount for it - very substantial.. It was so big and so heavy it took 5 men to carry it out and get it on the truck..

The trunk is iffy - because I don't know what it looks like.. When my late DH & I had to move out of our former home when his health really started to decline rapidly, I held a huge garage sale.. A buyer (probably an antique dealer) paid $150 for the trunk (without batting an eye) and another $125 for a tall, narrow dresser that was my grandfather's..

My trunk was a rounded top - weighed a ton - and was not in good condition at all - inside or out..

Of course this is the OP's call.. I would just like to see her get what the items are worth - or at least close to what they're worth..

Totally agree with this. Plus, a dealer will only offer you a wholesalers price at best because he has to be able to sell them for a profit. CL is the way to go for the best price.

 

[friskykitten]

OP, we have been through a very similar situation.

We got a lot of advice from fellow DISers and I was able to accept that our situation required us to change whatever we could. A lot of the advice I got was very hard to take at first but the people who gave it were right. Nobody wants to lose what they worked for. In our case we needed to sell assets, reduce our expenses that could be reduced and find a way to bring in more income.

Long story short, we sold off everything we really didn't need, both my DH and I worked two jobs each (FT & PT), revised our budget by eliminating any unnecessary expenses and have been slowly working our way out of the debt we had acquired. Part of our success was from making sacrifices we really needed to make and part of it has been due to simple good luck. For example, being able to FIND work can be very difficult. Many people are still trying to find one job let alone a second. As others have said, the basic equation is to increase your income and lower your expenses.

My experience may not be what will work for you but you have been given some very good advice from previous posters of how to get started. Dave Ramsey has some good suggestions. He won't work for everyone in every situation but almost anyone can bring something positive back from reading his books.

I feel for your situation because I have been there. I wish you the best of luck. One thing that helped me get through selling off my things was the realization that I can always have them again when my financial situation improves. I may have to do without now, but later, when things improve, and they will improve eventually, I can have those things again.....if I still want them.

 

[moonpie85]

On the other hand, my good friend in college worked as many hours as she could from as young as she could during high school, got straight As in hard classes, had time for a serious boyfriend, AND was on the swim team. She absolutely thrives when she's got a full schedule, and always has. Never know until you start!

And I'm not sure that anyone is suggesting to have the kids drop a class.

Very true, every child is different. I needed my study time and leaving the house at 7am and getting home at 9:30pm M-F then working Saturdays and Sundays to provide just wasnt a good thing for my grades at 16. I guess I'm a slacker lol.

And yes, somebody did suggest her kids might drop a class or two and makeup later in the year.

 

[C.Ann]

And yes, somebody did suggest her kids might drop a class or two and makeup later in the year.

No need to drop classes.. There are plenty of ways the teens could earn money right in their own neighborhood - if they're willing to put forth the effort to find those opportunities..

Same with her DH - who is in construction.. Can he build an addition in his off hours? Probably not.. Do people need a porch railing fixed; maybe a couple of steps; an elderly person that can't clean the leaves from their gutters; repair a broken fence; put up outdoor Christmas lights for someone who can't do it themselves; a quick paint job in someones kitchen; replace a few door knobs for an elderly person? Of course..

If I were in a situation as tight as this I would even have the kids picking up soda cans along the road or wherever.. 5 cents a piece can add up pretty quickly.. I know - because I have to pay the deposits on the bottled water I have to drink..

The opportunities are endless.. But neither the DH or the teens are going to be able to contribute if they wait for the jobs to come to them.. It just doesn't work that way.. They have to advertise: small weekly newspaper (like the Penny Saver); printed flyers around the neighborhood; notices on bulletin boards in every building that has them; word of mouth; etc.. Even in Craigs List for FREE - if I remember correctly.. (Could be wrong on that, but I thought I read that here on the BB once..)

Odd jobs don't just land on ones doorstep - there needs to be effort on the part of the person (or persons) hoping to get these types of jobs..

 

[Marionnette]

CCCS is notoriously conservative. I and many others I've talked to tried to go through CCCS and were told they'd have to file bankruptcy, that CCCS could not/would not help them.
I think a better bet would be to contact a company like CareOne Credit. They will probably have you on a payment plan within 72 hours of you contacting them and they also do all the contacting of your creditors.
Like you, we too did not want to go the bankrupcy route and the program we've been on has been a blessing.


I see many helpful comments about cutting your bills and getting part time jobs and such. If you're in serious debt those things are like putting a bandaid on a severed arm. You probably need to work hard and fast to cut bigger amounts off your monthly payments and do it soon, from what it sounds like.






If you are fairly deep in debt CCCS may not be willing to do much for you except to recommend that you go bankrupt.
With the company we went with there was no appointments needed, no waiting and relatively little hassle. You do have your own work to do when using any kind of credit counselling service but I can't tell you how much we've been helped by them.

Best of luck!!

CCCS is notoriously conservative because they are a non-profit that knows what can and will work in favor of their clients. OTOH, Careone credit is a for-profit agency which is going to put their own interests ahead of their customer's. Do a google search on them before you sign up, OP. There are a lot of complaints about them and some shady practices.

CCCS will only recommend bankruptcy if there is no possible alternative in their estimation. It really does not sound as if the OP is in that dire a situation. She just needs a little bit of breathing room. If she can get her credit cards to lower their interest rates and by doing some more belt tightening, I think she is going to make it.

 

[mrsklamc]

I see many helpful comments about cutting your bills and getting part time jobs and such. If you're in serious debt those things are like putting a bandaid on a severed arm.

"Serious" is a relative term, but as a blanket statement, this just isn't true. Lots & LOTS of people who have been in 'serious' debt have gotten out through these very methods.

 

[mrsklamc]

Also keep in mind that with a part time job, you aren't just making your net pay, you are making your net pay PLUS whatever interest you can save by paying down your debt earlier.

And, if your kids do get part time jobs they likely will get most taxes they pay in back when they file their returns.

I am shocked by the suggestion that the kids drop classes to work. I had no idea there were parts of the country where that was even legal.

 

[cndij]

Any suggestions for someone who has never used craigslist before? My DH and I went through the house and found a couple "bigger" things to start with. I have an old cook-stove (one like my great-grandma would have used) that we could post. Also, I have two framed limited edition prints that were wedding gifts. They are by a local artist, but sold for a couple hundred for the both. Thinking maybe we could find someone who would like them. I also have an antique trunk that was just sitting in the attic that I forgot about. The combination of those might get us a car fixed. Will also be going through the house looking for smaller things this weekend.

RESEARCH....RESEARCH....RESEARCH You will probably need to jump on the internet at the parents house, but the first thing is determining the value of your items, Ebay is a start, search Craigs List in your area and outside. If you are talking about a woodburning cook stove in good condition (drooling here now), I saw one on Craig's List in my area last winter for $1200. You just have to find the right collector.

I just found a link for one (nothing like the original I saw which was not a wood/electric hybrid) but just to give you an idea
http://greensboro.craigslist.org/atq/2700499460.html