We Are SUNK - Any Advice?

[MoonpieMomma]

Oh and it's too late for you, OP, but if anyone else runs into this situation- don't put dental work or medical expenses on a credit card. Usually the provider will work out a no interest payment plan for medical expenses.

Are there video games the kids don't use? Also, I know it's hard, but you have said you 'can't' do without the cell phones and you 'can't' sell the gaming system- you're at a point where the 'can't's' have to come off the table. I know it's hard to feel like you are depriving the kids, but they WOULD live without a gaming system.

The gaming system is literally theirs. It was a gift from a family member last year. I will not sell the system and then have to explain to the family member that I sold their gift when it becomes known. Sorry, as far as I'm concerned in this instance the system doesn't belong to me to sell.

 

[robinb]

OP, do you know what the charge would be to cancel your phone contract early? It might not be as much as you think since you only have 9 months left on it.

 

[bearloch]

contact the drug company they may offer you coupons for meds.. have teens car-pool to job if possible. have hubby try a hardware store for part time emplyment they love men who have building experience. maybe he and teen could work sats together then car pool... have kids make up work wanted signs for hanging christmas lights, shoveling, etc.. grocery store bagger? and im sure this is all stuff youve heard before.... also call cc companie and tell them u need to lower monthy payment and interest rate also apply for reduced rate for electric company they have plans for lower rates if u only wash clothes etc from a certain time .. good luck

and u would be surprised what sells on Craigslist.

 

[MoonpieMomma]

OP, do you know what the charge would be to cancel your phone contract early? It might not be as much as you think since you only have 9 months left on it.

I can check. I thought it was just a standard cancellation fee. I do know that it applies to each line I would be canceling. So, that's 4 phones times whatever the fee is. It certainly can't hurt to call and check it out. Will do it right after lunch.

 

[mrsklamc]

The gaming system is literally theirs. It was a gift from a family member last year. I will not sell the system and then have to explain to the family member that I sold their gift when it becomes known. Sorry, as far as I'm concerned in this instance the system doesn't belong to me to sell.

Then I agree with you- it's not yours to sell. Many times from people in dire straights I hear both on the DIS and in real life "I can't do this & I can't do that" when the reality is they don't WANT to.

 

[MoonpieMomma]

OK, at least I can take a deep breath after talking to everyone here this morning. It's been non-stop tears for the past 24 hours. My boss at work thought someone had died when I walked into work this morning.
Thanks for the ideas, and keep them coming. I'm compiling a list to work on with DH!

 

[Fyrefly]

That sounds awful to be dealing with. I'll join in the hugs.

It sounds like your job isn't really the issue but it's your husbands'. And you live in a place without much going on which is heavily restricting your options for both hubby and kids to pitch in.

Moving is always an option but it seems like you aren't THAT behind, like you just need a good influx of cash once and then you can start swimming again. It would be a shame to lose house/friends/etc. for that.

Is there a chance your husband could get more solid work a little further away? I know people who sometimes stay in a cheap hotel for the week for a job and go home on weekends. Yes it absolutely will suck but if you run the numbers and (more hours + better pay) - (cost to live away from home for a bit) is more than what he's bringing in now that could be the quick influx of cash you need.

Also I don't know your situation but do you have a supportive extended family? Could you get some financial help from them? Could someone in the family go stay with family for a bit, again to get a job elsewhere?

Just trying to think out of the box a bit since the standards have been covered already.

 

[barbarabini]

You can check into those nonprofit counseling agencies. But make sure you are wary. Frankly, you will need to miss a few payments, and then, and usually only then will the Credit cards start to negotiate rates and plans. Probably a similar plan that you will get from a credit counseling place (without the fees).

I think I would attempt it one card at a time. Put the payment from the card your not paying towards something else. ( another bill or car repair.).

also, enough with the tears. Buck up little camper. All those credit cards co are going to do is call you. They aren't going to take your children or your house or even your car. They can't harass you unless you stay on the phone with them.

You have a house that you can make payments on, benefits and a strong family. You can do this. Its only paper and a rough patch. You'll get through it.

 

[cookingqueen123]

Bankruptcy. I applaud you wanting to do this the right way but really, you have probably already paid the debt back many times over just in interest. Bankruptcy is not the end of the world and a huge load will be off your mind. Sometimes, you just have too. That's why it's there.

 

[Kay1]

Now, consider what options you have.

I don't know where you live so I don't know what the prospects for a turn around in the housing market are... I doubt they are very good. With that knowledge that things really aren't going to get better where you live right now, do you think it would be an improvement to move somewhere else and start over? You husband seems to be a laborer from what you describe, so he might have a much better chance finding a job somewhere else. Some areas of the country are actually hiring laborers such as parts of southern Texas, or out in North Dakota where all the new oil and gas drilling is going on. Maybe his skills would allow him to find employment in that type of industry instead of housing.

The sad fact is, many parts of the country are not going to recover. Areas like Michigan that depended on auto manufacturering as doomed. Not sure about where you live but honestly ask yourself, is there a realist chance that things will get better where you live. If there isn't then don't wait until you are completely broke and bankrupt, plan to migrate somewhere else now while you can do so on your own terms. It is much easier to restart if you restart in a new place with some money from selling your house than it is to restart when the bank has foreclosed on the house and you have nothing but the shirt on your back and a car to call home.

You need to sit down with your husband and make some hard decisions.

It is always better to make a change on your terms than it is to be forced to make a change from forces beyond your control.

I agree with you, Thomas. If nothing else I would sell the house, pay off my debts, and rent a smaller place or apartment. A lot of people who are underwater would envy the OP.

Best of luck, OP.

 

[C.Ann]

TBH, if it were me, those cell phones would go. That $100/month would go a long way towards easing your troubles. I know that kids live and die for their cell phones, but you don't NEED them to keep in touch with your kids. Entire generations grew up without cell phones and managed to get by. Your kids could always borrow a friend's phone if they needed to reach you in a dire emergency.

This - or -

See below..

Is DH in construction? Can he take on side gigs building decks, sheds, etc.? .[/QUOTE]

The above is also a possibility.. Many family members have done construction side jobs for 20+ years - no license - no problems.. As long as he doesn't do shoddy work, there shouldn't be any issues.. He could even have the homeowners sign a waiver if it would make you/him feel better..

Or - he could do more of the "handy man" type things - for elderly people - or folks who just plain don't know how to change their outdoor light bulbs; can't clean out their gutters; need one window repaired; etc..

Consumer credit counseling is a free service and reputable.

I would personally get one cheap phone where you pay if you use it and get rid of the cell phones. Is your husband looking for another job? A more stable income might be helpful if you decide to apply for another refi.

Again - see above..

They have changed their name to "Apprisen": http://www.apprisen.com/. I called them for my mother's debt and they were VERY nice. They would have been able to cut my mother's payments almost in half with the agreements they already have in place with creditors.

Someone I know used them - saved them from losing everything and payments each month were reduced drastically..

You can sell literally anything. Do you have any broken jewelry? If it is gold it will sell. Any old toys the kids don't use/want anymore? Extra kitchen stuff just collecting dust? Electronics? Even broken people will buy it.
I sold 3 blankets that had been in the trunk of my car for $10 on Craigslist.
People will buy ANYTHING!

Any outgrown toys or clothes? I think now is a good time for toys on ebay and craigslist. Any furniture you don't need/want? Decorative items like candles, wall mirrors, framed prints? Old tools, bikes, kitchen appliances? Pretend you are moving and walk through your house and think of whether or not you would want to pack it up and take it with you if you moved. You would be amazed what people will buy. And while it may not seem like alot those little snowflakes really add up. If you sell one item for $20 that would pay for your one of your kids' activities for the month.

Craigslist!!! Fast, easy, no shipping, cash in your hand.. Many people (in similar situations as yours) are buying used items to gift as Christmas gifts to their children and others.. Do it now! People have already started Christmas shopping.. Some only receive income once a month - they now have their Nov. income and their last shot is their Dec. income - which usually comes the first week of December.. Strike while the iron is hot!

Before filing, I'd refinance the house if possible, but not take any more mortgage on.

Do NOT lump your home & unsecured debt together.. CC's will hound you - your balance will keep rising and rising - but as long as you have no bank accounts they can slap a freeze on you could keep them waiting for a year if need be.. Again - DO NOT combine any unsecured debts to your home!!


When you eat out that one time a month, make it a cheaper restaurant, preferrably one that offers decent discount coupons or specials.

You're not really in a financial position to be eating out right now - even if it's only once a month.. That would go - if it were me..

Advertise for night babysitting-some people need third or C shift sitters and not many people offer that. Even 2nd shift if you'll be home. If you love kids, it's not a bad way to make some extra cash.

Shop for clothing at consignment shops.

Go to a church food cupboard, or a town food bank. They don't usually ask for proof of income, at least they don't here. You could cut your food budget a lot if you visited one of these three or four times a year. You'd be in good company, as it's not just for the poorest of the poor any more. I went with my friend one time and another time they delivered the food right to her house. She was so thankful.

Definitely do the above.. There was a time when my sister had to do it.. She didn't like it, but she did it because it was better than going without food.. When you're back on your feet, you can "pay it forward" by making contributions of food to whichever place you use.. That's what my sister did..


As far as the vehicles go, maybe your dh could barter his skills for a mechanics skills.

Is your DH mechanically inclined? If so, the above is a good idea too..

Good luck on everything and know that even though it feels like it's really bad, it's really not. Try to look at it as a challenge, not as a defeat. A temporary glitch that will soon be fixed.

Yup.. When you look at it as a challenge - almost make a game of it - "Hmmm.. How much could we make/save by doing such and such?" it tends to take a lot of the pressure and desparation out of the situation.. Get the whole family invovled - including your children..

If you have any books, cds or dvd's there are places online where you enter the upc codes and they will give you an estimate of how much they will pay you for them, then you mail them in to them. If you google it you will come up with alot of them, I've used cash4books.net with good results.

Also half.com - but I would do Craigslist first.. Easier and faster..

OP, do you know what the charge would be to cancel your phone contract early? It might not be as much as you think since you only have 9 months left on it.

This is important.. You may be able to get out of it for less than you think - or some plausible reason that you "must" break the contract.. I'll bet someone here could tell you what worked for them in the past..

You really need to get your teens involved in this as well: babysitting; collecting bottles (for the deposits); raking leaves around the neighborhood -or soon - depending on your location - shoveling snow (when my kids were 10, 9, & 6 they easily made $100+ A DAY).. They went out together and would whip through a driveway in no time flat.. How about walking dogs? Pet sitting? Lots of things teens can do to help out.. Christmas is right around the corner - maybe there are people in the area that aren't able to put up their outside Christmas lights and/or decorations.. Another thing your kids (or DH) could do.. Do you have a free weekly paper? Maybe you could place an ad: "All Odd Jobs Done Reasonably" (or whatever service you think would work the best in your situation) - or make up flyers and have the kids take them all around the neighborhood..

Good luck, OP.. Don't give up the ship.. As I said, take the pressure off by making a "game" out of it.. Pretend you're all pulling together to save up for a big trip to Disney or something.. If all of you work together - as a family - and you follow the great suggestions people have offered here, you may find out that things are not nearly as bleak as you think they are..

 

[threecrazykids]

OP- I just want to tell you that I honest to God could have written your post word for word. I secretly had to wonder if my DH hacked into my account and posted under a different user name it's how similar our situations are. You however have 3 teens I think you said...I have 3 kids but they aren't all teenagers.

Anyway, I can tell you this...do what you can. That's ALL anyone can expect out of you. The collectors will call you. It's ok. Let them call. I speak to them once every 2 weeks to keep them updated. I explain that my situation hasn't changed but that I will pay them what I can when I can. They can call me all day every day, but I told them I will only answer once every 2 weeks.

I tell them that my house, car, utilities, and food come first and if they feel it is necessary to take further action that is their choice. I can't do anything to prevent it.

We WERE able to do a modification on our loan directly through our mortgage company. We were able to drop our payment almost $200 a month, but since we were hundredS short every month, it doesn't really make it any "better" in the grand scheme of things.

I will pay them WHEN I CAN. My husband is working 2 part time jobs right now (1 very part time).

Hang in there...it WILL get better. Sometimes it has to get worse before it gets better, but count the blessings you have and know that you have us here to listen. If people want to judge you, let them. You can't change it. They can lecture you about how you "shoulda" done this and that...well, you didn't. Do they feel better now for judging you? Because regardless of what people believe, it could be them someday.

Take care and PM me if you want to talk offline. I would love to yell it out with you...sometimes just crying and yelling DOES make you feel better.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

how old are your three teens?

 

[MoonpieMomma]

Almost 17, 14 and 11 (not quite a teen yet, but sure eats like one )

 

[mom2rose&john]

Have you been to you local food bank to help with the groceries? Catholic charities or another local church may help with clothing and food. What about a goverment assisted program for the utilities? New York has HEAP and they give out assistance to anyone that can proove income stress. Even if it is not 100% assistance anything would help your situation.

How old are your children? What about cellphone sharing if each of your children don't need it 100% of the time. What about school breakfast and lunch programs? That would ease the grocery issue.

Good Luck.

 

[ldo]

also, since you came in today and someone noticed something was wrong, I think it is very important for you to tell your boss that you will be 110% on the job and that your financial issues will not affect your work--do not talk about them with coworkers. Then, you need to show your efficient, hard work attitude. You said you have a job that pays well. The big picture is keeping that job.
I agree with PP---no more tears---your kids need to see strength. A house, a car (granted it eats a lot of gas), insurance and a decent job will get you through this.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

Almost 17, 14 and 11 (not quite a teen yet, but sure eats like one )

could your two older kids get a job at the Christmas tree farm? I know our local tree farm hires high school kids to work weekends and they pay pretty well. They also feed them meals while they are there. It's a temp job and the kids here seem to get lots of temp jobs around the holidays.

 

[AndreaDM]

Maybe Momxx5 can chime in here with some advice. I know she's had a rough time lately as well and has received some great support from the peeps on the Dis.

 

[NotUrsula]

I second a lot of the suggestions, and I agree that you should NOT trade secured debt for unsecured.

The most important thing to try to do is to cut your fixed expenses. Call every service or account that you have and try to cut them back to the minimum, especially the phones. They may say no, but it never hurts to try. See if you can adjust the deductible on your home &/or car insurance to lower the premiums, for instance.

You say you live out in the sticks ... do you have a barn on the property, and is your property large and fenced, by any chance? If so, could you board horses, or even allow owners to bring out their animals and ride on your land? Could you board dogs short-term? Your kids are certainly old enough to clean up after and feed animals, if that is an option. If that won't work, do you have space to pour a slab and let folks store RV's or boats somewhere? A PP had a good idea with the night-babysitting option; that is a valuable service if your work schedule will let you swing it and if you have a bedroom that could be used. If you belong to a church, put the word out that you have teens who are able to work taking care of animals or helping the elderly with chores: IME there is a real need for that in rural areas, especially around the holidays. (And FTR, I call bull-pucky on the idea that it isn't right to ask kids to help out with household bills; they are part of the family, and the family is in trouble; they should help if they can. The time for trying to spare them the worry is long past.)

As I see it, your best bet to cut a large expense quickly lies in solving the vehicle problem. For this, I think your best bet is barter. Surely there is some mechanic in a nearby town who needs something fixed on a home or business; if your DH barters labor, then you will only have to pay for parts. He should knock on doors and just ask, the smaller the shop the more likely it is that someone would be willing to work the trade.

Also, one other possibility: can your DH build furniture? If so, set up an Etsy page and plug in the power tools. There is an especially good market for storage furniture and children's beds.

 

[MyDizneyBoyz]

Maybe Momxx5 can chime in here with some advice. I know she's had a rough time lately as well and has received some great support from the peeps on the Dis.

I second this. People are generally in a compassionate and supportive mood with the upcoming holidays and there are lots of great ideas floating around the DIS.