Holly that is all so sad reading what Loie is going through and the recent news that he has had that has devastated him. If only he could get a comfortable drive down to Florida seeing as he isn't allowed to fly, as the get together would do him so much good. But, he has to be fit enough even for that.
How are you coping, it can't be easy at all?
Marilyn, I'm not coping well because there's lots more to it. He told me he has to break the news to his family that he can't go on the trip to FL and that they'd be so mad. I told him of course they'd understand, but he said they won't. He told me they fight often about his conditions, meds and treatment because they just don't understand it all. Well, last Thursday he invited me to go out with him and a friend but I had to remind him Tyler was with me and he couldn't go where they wanted to go, so we chatted a while. He had to end our conversation because a bunch of family over seas started FB chatting with him, told me he'd talk to me a bit later. Now most of this is speculation on my part because I haven't talked to him since, but I'm just guessing based on everything he's told me in the past. Their trip was to be any day now (can't remember the exact date they were supposed to go), so I'm guessing maybe the family was chatting with him on FB saying how excited they were to see him, and perhaps that's what prompted him to tell everybody he can't go because he's in too much pain.
Again, I could be wrong on this, just guessing, but a couple hours later a HUGE fight happened. I was woken up from a sound sleep at 1am by his mom screaming, yelling at him, throwing things, things banging, glass breaking, etc. It was scary and went on for over 3 hours. I'm wondering maybe his parents were upset at all he told him, and he did mention to me in the past that he felt under pressure because so many family were coming from other countries expecting to see him, so maybe they were mad at him about that, I don't know, but I was so scared by this fight, I checked my phone and FB for messages, and he'd put a post on FB saying "I reaaalllllyyy need a place to stay." I texted him asking if he needs to come over (but I knew he wouldn't because he'd told me in the past when I offered that after fights with his parents that his mom gets so mad, she'd just follow him over and start banging on my door). I texted an hour later asking him to get the heck out of there. At 4am I saw car headlights in the driveway, so I knew he left, and I texted asking if he's OK. The yelling continued after he left with mom and dad for a half hour.
In the morning before I went to work I texted asking if he's OK. No response to any texts, and that's NEVER happened before. I tried calling him on my lunch and got voicemail, left a message asking him to let me know he's OK. No response. I texted Friday evening just before Tyler's friend showed up for the sleepover saying that fight really scared me, you don't have to talk about it, but please just let me know you're OK. I finally got a response saying sorry, I'm OK and I don't want to talk about it. I offered him to come join us for ice cream (because that was something he'd planned on doing before the day of the fight) and he said "I really want to but am far away, sorry. Thanks for always being such a great friend and always there for me." That was Friday night and I've hear NOTHING since. I contacted a friend of his (who is the sister of Tyler's teacher, I found out recenctly) and she's just as worried. From talking with her, I found he's blocked everybody on FB and NOBODY has heard from him.
When I was with his parents last night, I wanted to ask, but couldn't with my mom there because I wouldn't expect them to discuss anything with somebody they don't know sitting there, so I plan on checking with them today just to ask if they know whether he's ok.
He told me in the past that about a year ago, he almost committed suicide because he couldn't handle living with the pain and all his conditions. He has access to so many meds, so he was going to swallow a whole bottle. Had the bottle in hand, with a bottle of water in the other hand, but was stopped by the ringing phone. He only stopped because it was his mom calling. BUT.....since he had the will to do that before, and things are so much worse for him now, I have a really bad feeling. I hate to think that way, but there it is. However, it could be something as simple as wanting to get away from EVERYBODY, sitting in a hotel room just a town away, shutting phone off and just taking time to think and sort everything out, figure out how to live the rest of his life. That's what I'm hoping.
