Watching (aka babysitting) grandchildren: do you charge?

[Boopuff]

I’ve been watching my darling GS daily. I thought about it, a decided to ask my DD for a small amount weekly. I just thought about how busy my GS is and it’s not always easy. So I thought a couple of bucks (so granny can get her me time) wouldn’t be terrible. After all I’m saving them a TON!

 

[kyton]

When our kids were smaller both sets of grandparents watched them 1 day a week. We own our own business so for me to go to the office 2 days a week, my in laws would have them Monday’s then my parents would have them Tuesday’s.

My in-laws live next door to us and our kids are their only grandchildren so they have spent many hours there if we needed to go to appointments plus after school when I would be at work.

We’ve never paid either set of grandparents however we’ve also never taken advantage of their help. We’ve never booked any appointments without asking permission first.

Only you know whether your child will react in a positive way to your approach. Is it a permanent ongoing position or just a temporary one - I think this would sway my decision.

 

[sasywtch]

If you are watching them 20-40 hours per week so they don't have to pay for a babysitter, I don't see a problem with them paying you. We did not pay my mom but, she did not need the money and we also took her on vacations. After my dad died, it kept her busy. I know babysitting 40 hours per week can cost 200+ so asking for 50 a week I don't think is unreasonable. (if it's fulltime-partime, maybe 25)

 

[disykat]

I don't have grandchildren quite yet so I couldn't answer the poll, but I think daily babysitting is a job and should be paid. (giving up other social things regularly, not having free time, etc.) If the grandparents don't need the money I could see charging something really minimal, putting most of the money into a college fund, etc. I can definitely see doing it part time or short term without considering it a "job" that needs payment because it's a great chance to bond with your grandchildren, but doing long-term full-time daycare for no charge is probably hurting both parties in the long run.

 

[indimom]

I agree with the others. If a grandparents wants to give up a day or two a week to help out for free is fine. But, full time childcare is a chore and can take some of the joy out of just being a grandparent and enjoying the children. I can't believe anyone would expect a grandparent to take on those duties without some sort of compensation.

 

[jo-jo]

I agree with the others. If a grandparents wants to give up a day or two a week to help out for free is fine. But, full time childcare is a chore and can take some of the joy out of just being a grandparent and enjoying the children. I can't believe anyone would expect a grandparent to take on those duties without some sort of compensation.

Might make me a bad grandma, but I wouldn't want to watch a small child 5 days a week. Of course there are times, a great need would change my mind, but in a case just to save some money for mom and dad, no thank you. I know me, I'd go into hyper watch mode and not relax until parents came for child. I'd be exhausted after a few weeks. Years ago, someone ask me (not for free) to watch her child. I said no. She said her mom doesn't want to either. LOL We had both agreed a few days a week was fine, not everyday. But in the end, he went to a nursery.

If it was a case of school age kids, get them off to school, watch them a few hours after school, that's a whole different story.

 

[kymom99]

We regularly have one of our grandchildren at our house. We don’t get paid because his mom doesn’t have the money to pay us. That’s ok, we want what is best for him. Although one year one of her hare brained friends told her to ask if we would say she paid us so she could take it off of her taxes. My husband explained that first of all, that would be fraud. And second of all, we would have to claim the income in our taxes. And there was no income. She understood then that it was not a good idea.

I will add, my parents got my son on and off the bus every day until they both passed away by the time he was 11. It wasn’t a very long time each day but it was a commitment. However, if they ever wanted to do something, we made other arrangements. Usually mom would ask her neighbor to let him go over there. Mom also helped this neighbor with her kids so it was no imposition for them to return the favor. I rarely asked my mom to keep my son just for going out socially.

 

[Kitty 34]

I would not watch my grandchildren in a regular weekly situation . I do love having the kids come over and spend the night or two every few weeks (they live a couple of hours away). Once in awhile I have babysat but would never think to charge.

 

[slo]

When DD24 was 0 - 3yrs old my mom watched her all day MWF and my grandma watched her on TR all day. They never asked for payment and I honestly never offered - I didn’t think of it since they offered to do this to save us money. Looking back I should have offered to pay something (I was in my mid twenties), but they wouldn’t have accepted it anyway.

Every situation is different and you need to do what’s best for you

ETA….if I babysat daily and my DD was making a huge salary then I would probably ask for a little payment to put towards activity costs and food, but if my DD was making a small amount of money and I’m watching because the cost of childcare would be hard for her, then I’d watch for nothing.

 

[Princesca]

I don't have grandkids, but I have a kid, and you absolutely should charge at *least* your expenses. More than that is up to you, but my mom has been running my niece around for years and I can't imagine the amount of money she has spent on gas and wear and tear on her car.

 

[Minnesota!]

Not a grandparent yet, but if it came to that time and I watched the kid/s, I would definitely expect to be paid. It's a job, and not an easy one... At least buy the groceries and foot any gas I use on adventures

 

[HeatherC]

I guess I am in the minority. I could never even imagine asking my kids to pay me. It just isn’t something that would ever occur to me to do especially for family. Not saying it is wrong to do so, just that I would never take money from them for watching my own grandchild. If I didn’t want to do it regularly, I would be upfront about that. But if I did do it, it would be to help them out and save money in the process.

 

[RedAngie]

We paid the grandparents when we left the kids with them for more than one night, such as a weekend or more away. To cover the cost of food, etc. For single nights or day jobs they refused payment even though we offered.

 

[nancipants]

My mom watched my son four days a week when he was 3 months to 1 year old. We did not pay her. She stayed at our house those days due to the driving distance. She offered to do this because SHE did not want my son to go to daycare. (This was also during the early days of Covid - I went back to work in March 2020 - so it was a very different situation than usual.) Now he is in daycare and I prefer it to him being at home because he gets to be with other children and learns a lot.

My mom still babysits for us when we go out. We don't pay her, but we do buy dinner since she has to drive.

My in-laws visit often (they have a vacation home in the area) and they watch our son a lot when we go out/just because. Again, we don't pay them.

I feel like if it's a regular thing, asking for money to cover expenses (gas, food, etc) isn't unreasonable. But I think my mom/in-laws would refuse anything we tried to give them.

 

[Bianca and Bernard]

I’ve been watching my darling GS daily. I thought about it, a decided to ask my DD for a small amount weekly. I just thought about how busy my GS is and it’s not always easy. So I thought a couple of bucks (so granny can get her me time) wouldn’t be terrible. After all I’m saving them a TON!

I had to vote no babysit, simply because all my grandkids are across the country (I'm in FL, they are in CA and NE).

When DGS#21 and DD#2 lived with us, when he was a baby (DSoIL#2 was stationed overseas in Japan, and DD couldn't go because of medical reasons), I did watch DGS frequently, and no, I didn't charge. We did charge DD $300 a month to stay with us (and that money went into an account and back to her when SoIL got back and got new orders for CA); basically I was her savings account, lol.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I'm not a grandparent yet, but it would depend on the circumstances. If I was in a comfortable financial position and my DS wasn't, I would babysit for free. But if I was giving up paid employment to watch the kids and still needed some sort of income, I would accept an amount we agreed on together.

 

[MamaMermaid]

My mom watches our 5 year old some Saturday nights for a few hours. She doesn't ask for money and we don't offer. We do other things for her - spend evenings with her (my dad died and she is lonely), take her out to dinner, take care of the pool/yard/house tasks that she can't do, etc.

 

[nw6675]

My parents watched DD until she was one. We paid them about half what daycare was charging. They offered to watch her and we offered to pay. I love my parents dearly, but I did not wanted to feel indebted either *self inflicted.

 

[jo-jo]

My mom watches our 5 year old some Saturday nights for a few hours. She doesn't ask for money and we don't offer. We do other things for her - spend evenings with her (my dad died and she is lonely), take her out to dinner, take care of the pool/yard/house tasks that she can't do, etc.

Yes, that's a whole different thing. We have watch DGSs for a few hours here and there, but not weekly or daily.

My DD went on two four day trips and we watched the kids. First time we watch all four, second trip, we watched two and other grandma watched two. By the second trip, my DH was also having issues and couldn't give as much help with kids.

 

[_19disnA]

I don't see this as a 'one size fits all' type of solution. What others are doing may/may not fit your particular situation. Partly depends on the circumstance as well as your financial situation and that of the parents. Grandparents I know enjoy spending time with their grandchildren and think the parents would be offended if they asked for money. Young married couple with one or more children are likely not as well off as their parents who are later in life and possibly retired.

If this is something you are doing for the entire day and for weeks at a time, it is more like doing a job then babysitting. Parents should pay for the food and they also know what their children like. Some grandparents enjoy doing this as it gives them something to do in their free time. If you volunteer to watch the children vs. being asked by the parents also matters in how you would approach this.