Was this a bad gift (for 4 yo)?

[peg2001]

DD4 recently went to a birthday party and gave "Scrabble Jr." to the birthday girl. This is a game that DD4 enjoys playing with her older sister as it has an easy game with the words already printed on the board and the players have only to match their letter tiles to the letters on the board.

Well, we got a very polite thank you card that mentioned that the little girl does not know her letters yet. So now I feel like we gave a terrible gift. I know they can hold onto the game and use it later but we wanted to give her something she could enjoy right away. I guess I assumed a child turning 4 would know their letters.

Peggy

 

[Bob Slydell]

Our 3 year old loves Scrabble Jr (and Boggle Jr and Monopoly Jr). Heck, he likes all board games. I would have thought it would be a nice gift for a 3-5 year old. Like you said, at minimum, she should be able to grow into it -- or better yet, help her learn her letters.

 

[mommystieg]

My DD turned 4 Saturday and the only letter she knows is "O" - it's her favorite. She goes to part-time daycare and spends some days with her grandparents so she is not really learning numbers and letters yet. The game would be a good way for the birthday girl to start learning letters. I am not really sure why the parents felt they needed to mention that in the thank you note. Just a simple "thank you for the gift" would have been sufficient

 

[Keli]

I'm kind of surprised that the parents of this little girl included that information on the thank you card. It seems like they would have realized that it might make you feel uncomfortable about the gift you chose for their little girl. But you are correct, most four year olds do recognize at least a portion of the alphabet and I think it was a totally appropriate game for a four year old.

 

[Pam]

I think it was a very nice gift - but I think what the parent wrote in the thank-you note was more than a little tacky and thoughtless.

You gave a very nice present.

 

[stinkerbelle]

Ok - first of off, that was very RUDE of the person writing the thank you note to mention that the gift was basically useless! What happened to "if you don't have somethince nice to say - shut up!"


secondly - I know ALOT of 3 year olds that already know their letters...and I think this game would only encourage this 4 year old to start learning them.

so no - this was not a bad gift. A bad gift was me giving my co-workers 3 year old a LeapFrog kareoke machine. (hehehe...he LOVES the sing...now he sings LOUD!!!) the boy loves it...the parents grin and bear it. heheheh

 

[Kimberle]

Heck, no!! (pardon my "french" )

Brittany got Boggle Jr for her 4th birthday. It was a great way to help her learn her letters. If this child is not ready for the "traditional" game rules, the parents can "invent" their own way of play. And if they still don't "want"t to, they could just put the game away. I would have to assume that some time in her life she's going to learn her letters.....

And yes, it was a rude note. If they couldn't have written something nice, they shouldn't have written anything.

 

[Stepharoonie!]

No, that was a great gift. The parents can use that opportunity to now teach the child some letters.

 

[aprincessmom]

Maybe they were upset because the child was just turning 4 but the game is recommended for children ages 5-8 so they felt it was an inappropriate gift. Maybe the child was upset because she got a gift that frustrated her because she couldn't use or play with it right now. Maybe they are just nasty people.

Whatever the reason, it was rude of them to put that in the thank you note. To avoid situations like this (and duplicate gifts), when I RSVP I usually tell the parent what my DD would like to give as a gift for the birthday boy or girl and ask if they think the child would like that gift or if they already have it. Makes life easier for me

 

[castlegazer]

Nope - you got the perfect gift - thoughtful, educational, and fun. They did the bad thing in their thank you note - I feel like screaming at those parents, well, don't ya think its time they begin to learn them then!

 

[tw1nsmom]

I think it's a great gift. In fact I'm going to try to pick it up for my just turned 4 twins. My children don't know their alphabet either (they do recognize their names and a few letters), but the best way to teach children this age is through playing games.

Now to play devils advocate about the thank you note. Not everyone is good at expressing what they really mean. Maybe they meant to say is that their daughter doesn't know the alphabet, so this game will be a good tool for learning. My DH is a wonderful, caring, smart man, but he often fails to communicate effectively. He will only partly verbalize what he is trying to say and assume that you understand what he meant. Now, I could be totally wrong and these people are really rude ungrateful people. I wouldn't be worried, even a little bit, that your present wasn't good enough. If they truly didn't like your gift, they most likely would have found fault with just about anything someone got.

 

[always dreamin']

I write a lot in my thank you notes and that is something I may have written meaning...thank you for the gift since DD does not know her letters yet this will help out a lot. I would not mean that to hurt anyones feeling but letting them know this was a very useful gift. Could it be possible that you may have misunderstood what she was trying to say? I guess I can't believe anyone would be so rude, but then again people these days...

 

[nkjzmom]

Totally appropriate gift...as a matter of fact our family prefers to give/receive board games...great way to learn and to spend time together as a family.

As far as the thank you note, I was thinking the same thing as tw1nsmom.

 

[always dreamin']

Originally posted by tw1nsmom
Now to play devils advocate about the thank you note. Not everyone is good at expressing what they really mean. Maybe they meant to say is that their daughter doesn't know the alphabet, so this game will be a good tool for learning. My DH is a wonderful, caring, smart man, but he often fails to communicate effectively. He will only partly verbalize what he is trying to say and assume that you understand what he meant. Now, I could be totally wrong and these people are really rude ungrateful people. I wouldn't be worried, even a little bit, that your present wasn't good enough. If they truly didn't like your gift, they most likely would have found fault with just about anything someone got.

Oops! Looks like I was typing while you were posting. This is exactly what I'm thinking happend. DH always says I don't speak in complete thoughts!

 

[peg2001]

Thanks for all the feedback. I'm feeling much better that the gift was appropriate and can be used or not used as the family sees fit.

Honestly, I do think they were trying to be polite with the thank you note. It was very "chatty" and I'm sure they didn't intentionally make me question my gift. That's all me.

Peggy

 

[Jenn Lynn]

I think games are great gifts! DD is 2 1/2 and loves to play Memory and Don't Spill the Beans. DH and I are both looking forward to buying her Candyland for Christmas!

 

[kadaten]

Originally posted by Pam
I think it was a very nice gift - but I think what the parent wrote in the thank-you note was more than a little tacky and thoughtless.

You gave a very nice present.

Ditto!

I'd also add that my daughter knew some of her letters before she turned 3...just picking them up around the house, we weren't trying to teach her. When she started preschool in the fall, we started working on them in earnest as did her school, and she knew all of them before Christmas! I never knew there was a scrabble junior....guess what my next purchase will be at the toy store!? Thanks for the idea!!

 

[MosMom]

I think it was an appropriate gift and they can use it to help her LEARN her letters. Not much time left until Kindergarten and she will be seriously behind if she doesn't know her letters before she starts. Kindergarten is a different concept these days!

I personally think it was a little rude to mention she can't use the gift in the thank you note. A bit of a back handed thank you.

 

[disykat]

If the note wasn't trying to say it would help her learn her letters, it was rude. I think the gift was an appropriate gift- possibly something to be used at a later date if the child wasn't interested yet.

I have smart kids, but neither was in the least bit interested in letters by their 4th birthday. If I had received that gift I would have tried it out and if they weren't interested I would have put it away for 6 months and then tried again.

 

[Disney Doll]

Seems like a good gift to me. If the kid doesn't know letters, it will help her learn them in a fun way. If she does know letters, it will help reinforce them in a fun way.