Visiting parents. Dad is driving me crazy

[VillageMama]

What has your dad said that is wrong? Seems like he may have a point.

It's called tact. If you care about other people's feelings, it's best not to say everything that pops into your head... even if you aren't "wrong".

OP, I feel your pain, hon. My last visit to my in-laws was over a year ago and I won't be going back. I put up with being treated like an annoyance for nearly 20 years... even though I bent over backwards to be a good house guest.

But when my f-i-l started in on my children for being children (even though they are unusually quiet children), that was the end.

 

[james'mommy]

Yes my son told his aunt that his cousins are hooligans. He got a talking to that it was not polite. He was repeating what he saw on The Suite Life. We told him that we don't repeat things we see on tv. Last night my nephew told me my son watches too much tv. So I guess the kids are even.

 

[sbell111]

Yep. Staying at a hotel, regardless of distance is a great way to preserve family relationships, such as they are.

I do it every time I visit family.

It's their house, eh? They make the rules. You follow them, or don't stay there. I know that many of us feel that having company means we roll out the red carpet of hospitality, but clearly some folks don't agree.

Having separate rooms for your vacation sounds like the only way any of you will enjoy yourselves.

Perhaps you should take a break (at a local laundromat???) and get out for some fresh air. (Provided you don't have to ask them for the car)!

Agreed.

Every time we go visit family, we rent a room at a local hotel. It gives us a place to go where we don't have to be 'on'. We also take time away from family to do other stuff while we are in the area. A trip to see family need not be all-family, all-the-time.

 

[MariDisney]

Yep. Staying at a hotel, regardless of distance is a great way to preserve family relationships, such as they are.

I do it every time I visit family.

It's their house, eh? They make the rules. You follow them, or don't stay there. I know that many of us feel that having company means we roll out the red carpet of hospitality, but clearly some folks don't agree.

Having separate rooms for your vacation sounds like the only way any of you will enjoy yourselves.

Perhaps you should take a break (at a local laundromat???) and get out for some fresh air. (Provided you don't have to ask them for the car)!

THAT. We stay in hotels when we go to visit family and we suggest they stay in hotels when they come to visit us. Keeps things very pleasant.

 

[nmmom95]

I live in the middle of nowhere South Jersey, and there really aren't many hotels here that don't look like the Bedbug Inn.

 

[declansdad]

Sounds like your dad doesn't like kids.

 

[ols386]

Agreed.

Every time we go visit family, we rent a room at a local hotel. It gives us a place to go where we don't have to be 'on'. We also take time away from family to do other stuff while we are in the area. A trip to see family need not be all-family, all-the-time.

I agree with what you are saying, and I don't see anything wrong with doing stuff, not with ALL the family. But I also think that 'expectation' is a huge part of it. If the family you are going to visit understands that while you are there, you will be doing some things on your own...then it will probably work out very well. But if they expect that you are going to spend every waking moment with THEM, then there could be hurt feelings.

 

[MIGrandma]

When DH and I go to Florida to visit his Dad and step-Mom we always stay in a nearby hotel. We would not feel comfortable staying with them, and it's just easier on everyone if we stay in a hotel. That way we can get up when we want to, and go to bed when we want to. We go visit them during the day, but also do things on our own so we are not with them the entire time.

I'm not a good hostess in my own home either, and much prefer guests to stay in a hotel and just get together with them during the day. DH and I are finding ourselves more and more set in our ways as we get older. And since we have been "empty nesters" for many years, the younger grandchildren tend to get on our nerves fairly fast. And I get tired of cleaning up after and picking up after people. I'm not one for confrontation so I just deal with it. But I'm always so glad when the company goes home!