Visiting parents. Dad is driving me crazy

[james'mommy]

Right now we are in Jersey visiting my parents. My dad is driving me up the wall. As soon as we walked in the house with the luggage my dad started telling me to watch the walls with the luggage. Then don't wear shoes in the front bedroom. Followed my don't put your feet on the couch use the ottoman. Soon to be followed by the kid won't eat fruits and vegetables but you give him coffee. The kid will make himself throw up if you try and get him to eat fruits and veggies. After a while I got tired of cleaning up puke so I don't push it. The kid likes coffee but I only give him decaf and it's always with half a cup of milk. Today my son poops and clogs the toliet. DH plunged the toilet so not a big deal. From the look on my dad's face I know I should have taken him out to the port a potty. Except it's 25 degrees out. I asked my mom if I could use the washer and dryer. You would have thought I asked my mom to hand wash my laundry. We still have until tomorrow afternoon so I sure more will happen. Next time I'm staying in a hotel. Who cares if the nearest hotel is 40 minutes away.

Thank god we all have seperate rooms when we go to Disney in December. Which my dad has asked about 12 times.

 

[sbell111]

Your dad has a port-a-potty at his house?

 

[clovergirl5]

Right now we are in Jersey visiting my parents. My dad is driving me up the wall. As soon as we walked in the house with the luggage my dad started telling me to watch the walls with the luggage. Then don't wear shoes in the front bedroom. Followed my don't put your feet on the couch use the ottoman. Soon to be followed by the kid won't eat fruits and vegetables but you give him coffee. The kid will make himself throw up if you try and get him to eat fruits and veggies. After a while I got tired of cleaning up puke so I don't push it. The kid likes coffee but I only give him decaf and it's always with half a cup of milk. Today my son poops and clogs the toliet. DH plunged the toilet so not a big deal. From the look on my dad's face I know I should have taken him out to the port a potty. Except it's 25 degrees out. I asked my mom if I could use the washer and dryer. You would have thought I asked my mom to hand wash my laundry. We still have until tomorrow afternoon so I sure more will happen. Next time I'm staying in a hotel. Who cares if the nearest hotel is 40 minutes away.

Thank god we all have seperate rooms when we go to Disney in December. Which my dad has asked about 12 times.

How old is your ds? I would stay in a hotel next time lol

 

[james'mommy]

Your dad has a port-a-potty at his house?

Right now there is a construction crew working on the house so there is a port apotty in the front yard. Not a normal thing here. Although Dad has been tempted to install one when they have parties.

 

[clovergirl5]

Your dad sounds like he is not used to having company stay overnight at his home. I must admit, I tend to be that way too when company is over. Its hard to adapt to other people "living" in your house. Maybe staying in a hotel would be good for everyone. No point in everyone being stressed out when you are trying to have a good visit. Life is to short, mom and dad aren't always going to be around. Dh lost both his parents this past spring.Hope the next day is less stressful for all of you

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

Yep. Staying at a hotel, regardless of distance is a great way to preserve family relationships, such as they are.

I do it every time I visit family.

It's their house, eh? They make the rules. You follow them, or don't stay there. I know that many of us feel that having company means we roll out the red carpet of hospitality, but clearly some folks don't agree.

Having separate rooms for your vacation sounds like the only way any of you will enjoy yourselves.

Perhaps you should take a break (at a local laundromat???) and get out for some fresh air. (Provided you don't have to ask them for the car)!

 

[luvwinnie]

I'm jealous you get to leave. My dad lives with us and drives me nuts on a daily basis. My brother assures me having him live here guarantees me a ticket to heaven...lol

 

[goofyernmost]

That would be the very reason that I have always stayed in a hotel when visiting relatives. Sometimes they get slightly insulted when I do that but that is a lot easier to work out of then upset because I did. I can't help it...I always feel like and intruder and burden. I would rather have a nice visit, go back to the hotel and return the next day. It has always worked out for me.

At this point my close relatives understand that I just don't do the stay at their house scene and accept it as just me. No harm meant or implied.

 

[C.Ann]

Is this normal behavior from your parents? If so, I would have booked a hotel to begin with..

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

You poor thing.

I hate staying with my step-mom and dad b/c when we go, it's like I'm a total stranger. I get that I am visiting. But I'm not some strange dude from Topeka. It's insane. I Spent summers there "living there". But holy moses, she gets her tinsel in a tangle eveyr time I visit since the age of 18.

So I don't go anymore. I mean--I don't visit at all, hotel or not. They are welcome to visit here.

But then for some reason--they treat it like its home...from the moment they arrive. I mean, we have to make sure we lock the door, b/c they will just barge in without knocking. Nothing like feeling scared for a brief millisecond that you now may be the victim of a home invasion. FTR--I have never "barged" in to their home...EVER!

 

[ols386]

When I visit my step-mom, I NEVER stay overnight at her house. I stay at a relative's house about 5 minutes away. MY step-mom is so super-fussy about the house, it would drive me nuts to sleep-over. I might mess something up. The funny part is that she doesn't get 'why' I don't stay over, and if I told her the truth, that I'd be afraid I might mess something up, she'd probably say I was crazy.

I did try staying overnight there, a few years ago, and it just didn't work out. She didn't even like it when I took a shower, cause it made the walls of the shower spotted, even though I dried off the walls after I showered. And then I put on some lotion after my shower, and when I finished, and got dressed and went back out in to the living room, she said she had to turn on the air purifier because it stunk. There was just no pleasing her.

 

[Art 1]

What has your dad said that is wrong? Seems like he may have a point.

 

[Silent1CB]

Old people get that way & forget what it is like to have kids around. Staying at a hotel with kids is probably a good idea.

 

[yoopermom]

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the thought that there's somewhere in Jersey 40 miles from a hotel! We live in the wilds of MI, and it's only 2 miles to a mom and pop motel, and 30 miles to a town with five chain hotels...

And OP you have my sympathy, I just spent Xmas eve at my MILs, which is FILLED with fine breakables, which she refuses to pick up even though she has six great grandchildren under the age of six...No way would I EVER sleep there...

Terri

 

[JerseyJanice]

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the thought that there's somewhere in Jersey 40 miles from a hotel! We live in the wilds of MI, and it's only 2 miles to a mom and pop motel, and 30 miles to a town with five chain hotels...

MTE, Yoopermom! I can't believe there is anywhere in New Jersey that is 40 MILES from a hotel. 40 MINUTES, yes; 40 miles does not seem possible.

I hope you enjoyed at least part of your visit up north, James' Mom. It has been cold! I'm not enjoying that myself.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

I'm jealous you get to leave. My dad lives with us and drives me nuts on a daily basis. My brother assures me having him live here guarantees me a ticket to heaven...lol

Now that was funny!

We stay with my mom & my step dad quite a bit, about once a month or so, and sometimes it gets a little crazy but they don't act like your dad, it's other little things that get on our nerves after a while & it's not with my mom.

 

[james'mommy]

My parents live in the middle of nowhere in South Jersey. The only thing around is corn and pine trees. I was afraid to offend them by saying we are staying in a hotel. I'm sure now they wouldn't have been offended. My dad has also commented that I used too much toilet paper. Which is virtual impossible because they use single ply tp. I don't want pee on my hand soaked thru the tp when I wipe my crotch. We are way more laid back than my parents. When we have people visit we are very accomodating and everyone is welcome. My in laws are the same way. They make us feel incredible welcome and not a bother. I love my in laws. And the cherry on top- DS told my sister that her kids are hooligans. Their bosterious but not hooligans. Heading back down south tomorrow and looking forward to it. Esoecially since it is freezing up. No more trips up in the winter.

 

[cbmstephanie]

Stay in a hotel if they drive you crazy, but please don't stop going or taking them with you on trips. Some day you're gonna miss all the little things they used to do and wish just for one more time you could get tortured about the toilet paper or the walls or the food or the laundry.

 

[okeydokey]

My parents live in the middle of nowhere in South Jersey. The only thing around is corn and pine trees. I was afraid to offend them by saying we are staying in a hotel. I'm sure now they wouldn't have been offended. My dad has also commented that I used too much toilet paper. Which is virtual impossible because they use single ply tp. I don't want pee on my hand soaked thru the tp when I wipe my crotch. We are way more laid back than my parents. When we have people visit we are very accomodating and everyone is welcome. My in laws are the same way. They make us feel incredible welcome and not a bother. I love my in laws. And the cherry on top- DS told my sister that her kids are hooligans. Their bosterious but not hooligans. Heading back down south tomorrow and looking forward to it. Esoecially since it is freezing up. No more trips up in the winter.

Your son told his Aunt her kids were hooligans?

 

[Cindy B]

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the thought that there's somewhere in Jersey 40 miles from a hotel! We live in the wilds of MI, and it's only 2 miles to a mom and pop motel, and 30 miles to a town with five chain hotels...

And OP you have my sympathy, I just spent Xmas eve at my MILs, which is FILLED with fine breakables, which she refuses to pick up even though she has six great grandchildren under the age of six...No way would I EVER sleep there...

Terri

I can't think of a place either. Sure there may be small local hotels, but they are not 40 miles. I used to live in the Pine Barrens area and there were small local hotels in odd places...such as Wrightstown, Columbus, Vincentown, Tabernacle, Pemberton and such.