Virgin Cocktails for teen party

[Tink888]

Am I the only one who thinks that this type of party is more appropriate for older teens? A nightclub type setting with a bar isn't the kind of party I would plan for a 13 year old and her friends.

That was my first thought too and then I started thinking about it and remembered being about 9 or 10 and going out with my parents for dinner and being able to get a Shirley Temple. I didn't even think about the alcohol aspect, I just felt so grown up and sophisticated having a fancy drink.

I guess that's the draw of those types of parties.....the feeling of being grown up. I'm still trying to get used to the idea of spa parties for little girls, I didn't have my first manicure until I got married!

I can remember also going to Under 21 Nights at a local dance club, but if I remember correctly we had to be 15......though I don't know how they enforced that......maybe it was my parent's rule.

DS13 loves getting the non-alcoholic versions of the pina colada at the pool when we go to WDW as a special vacation treat. Just loves the taste of them.

Now if the kids were all getting together every Friday night and mixing up virgin cocktails, that would be over the top for me.

 

[FireDancer]

It's not that I wouldn't make my daughters a fun virgin drink if they wanted one - afterall it's just "punch" - it's that the whole atmosphere of this party seems weird. Why encourage a bar scene? To me it tells the kids that a bar is necessary to have real fun.

Having a 13th birthday in a bar isn't going to make kids alcoholics down the road. It isn't promoting the bar scene any more then having a party at the VFW hall (which we did many times growing up) promoted sitting around drinking with old people. It is merely a space to house a party, nothing more. It is also not glorifying alcohol, it is letting them have fun non-alcoholic drinks. Kids seeing mom and dad drunk at every single gathering is what makes the fun = alcohol connection or glorifies it, not a supervised party. In fact I think being overly shielding of kids in regards to alcohol is a much bigger problem, but that is a hole different thread.

A couple of years ago I had a ghetto luau and one of the things we did was fill 40oz bottles with tropical drinks. There were some pregnant friends there so we had a couple "pregnant friendly 40 oh-zees". We made virgin daiquiris and virgin pina colodas for the pregos and it went over well. We also laughed about the pregnant people being forced to drink virgin drinks, but that is besides the point. I think those two would be the biggest hit with the kids.

 

[ICF]

Am I the only one who thinks that this type of party is more appropriate for older teens? A nightclub type setting with a bar isn't the kind of party I would plan for a 13 year old and her friends.

My thoughts exactly......16-18 maybe, but not for kids as young as 5th/6th grade.

 

[powellrj]

No, I was thinking it, too. As cute an idea as it seems, I wouldn't want my 13 year old going to a party that glamorizes the bar/nightclub scene.
I do understand that the drinks aren't alcoholic, but the idea still rubs me the wrong way.

While I understand that the drinks don't have any alcohol, its the whole ordering drinks at a bar idea I think is sending the wrong message.

 

[DawnCt1]

It's not that I wouldn't make my daughters a fun virgin drink if they wanted one - afterall it's just "punch" - it's that the whole atmosphere of this party seems weird. Why encourage a bar scene? To me it tells the kids that a bar is necessary to have real fun.

Exactly. Its not the beverage. I am sure all of our kids have had virgin drinks growing up. It is the adult type atmosphere, not the drinks.

 

[DawnCt1]

Having a 13th birthday in a bar isn't going to make kids alcoholics down the road. It isn't promoting the bar scene any more then having a party at the VFW hall (which we did many times growing up) promoted sitting around drinking with old people. It is merely a space to house a party, nothing more. It is also not glorifying alcohol, it is letting them have fun non-alcoholic drinks. Kids seeing mom and dad drunk at every single gathering is what makes the fun = alcohol connection or glorifies it, not a supervised party. In fact I think being overly shielding of kids in regards to alcohol is a much bigger problem, but that is a hole different thread.

A couple of years ago I had a ghetto luau and one of the things we did was fill 40oz bottles with tropical drinks. There were some pregnant friends there so we had a couple "pregnant friendly 40 oh-zees". We made virgin daiquiris and virgin pina colodas for the pregos and it went over well. We also laughed about the pregnant people being forced to drink virgin drinks, but that is besides the point. I think those two would be the biggest hit with the kids.

I disagree. If it were merely a place to house a party, any location would do. The parent wouldn't be looking for virgin drink recipes, adults serving as "bar tenders" etc. Parents should not get drunk in front of their children but should drink responsibly. "Pretend alcohol drinks" at 11 to 13 is inappropriate. No one is saying that this party wouldn't be a big hit with the kids. Young teens would love to be "older". They grow up soon enough. It doesn't have to be rushed.

 

[Rora]

Am I the only one who thinks that this type of party is more appropriate for older teens? A nightclub type setting with a bar isn't the kind of party I would plan for a 13 year old and her friends.

I agree. I can understand wanting to have "fun" drinks but I think this party would've been better suited at a pool. I mean, that's where people usually drink these drinks anyways.. how many people are drinking pina colada's at a bar or a frat party? Not too many I've seen, or maybe my college years are too fresh in my mind..

This party does seem rather inappropriate. Let kids be kids.

Virgin strawberry daquiris and pina coladas are easy, you just buy the mix and blend them with ice.

Fruit punch is easy too: orange, pineapple and cranberry juice with sprite and a splash of grenadine.

I like the idea of putting sparkling grape juice in champagne glasses too! That sounds fun!

I'm sure there will be picky kids too, so I would keep basics like soda and water on hand.

Good advice for the OP!

 

[Pigeon]

Am I the only one who thinks that this type of party is more appropriate for older teens? A nightclub type setting with a bar isn't the kind of party I would plan for a 13 year old and her friends.

ITA. And the whole "cocktail" vibe, virgin or not, strikes me as inappropriate for this age group.

 

[antmaril]

When I first opened this thread yesterday, I was very surprised that so many people seemed on board with this. I don't understand how parents could ever think it's a good idea for their 13 year olds to pretend to drink. How can anyone think this is a good idea. Aren't we trying to convince them not to drink when they are at a party.

I honestly don't get it.

I guess I'm getting old

 

[golfgal]

When I first opened this thread yesterday, I was very surprised that so many people seemed on board with this. I don't understand how parents could ever think it's a good idea for their 13 year olds to pretend to drink. How can anyone think this is a good idea. Aren't we trying to convince them not to drink when they are at a party.

I honestly don't get it.

I guess I'm getting old

Our kids have been "pretending" to drink since they were toddlers. We have served sparkling grape juice at many holidays and even sometimes just because since they were 3 or so. On New Year's Eve they get a "champagne" toast. They are all now teenagers and the don't go out and party nor do they drink real alcohol. I am not naive enough to think that DS17 won't attend parties in college when he goes off in the fall either. I think you will find that kids that grow up in homes that don't treat alcohol as some evil thing that must be hidden do FAR less drinking.

 

[scrapquitler]

Am I the only one who thinks that this type of party is more appropriate for older teens? A nightclub type setting with a bar isn't the kind of party I would plan for a 13 year old and her friends.

It's my friend that's having this party, and yeah, I agree with you, Dawn.

 

[antmaril]

Our kids have been "pretending" to drink since they were toddlers. We have served sparkling grape juice at many holidays and even sometimes just because since they were 3 or so. On New Year's Eve they get a "champagne" toast. They are all now teenagers and the don't go out and party nor do they drink real alcohol. I am not naive enough to think that DS17 won't attend parties in college when he goes off in the fall either. I think you will find that kids that grow up in homes that don't treat alcohol as some evil thing that must be hidden do FAR less drinking.

We didn't treat alcohol as evil in our home. My son saw us have wine with dinner or a cocktail when we had people over all the time. However, we never served him anything that resembled an alcoholic drink. Why would we want to encourage that? I'm sorry, but I just don't think it's a good idea for young teens to pretend to drink. Obviously, there are many people who disagree with me.

 

[DawnCt1]

Our kids have been "pretending" to drink since they were toddlers. We have served sparkling grape juice at many holidays and even sometimes just because since they were 3 or so. On New Year's Eve they get a "champagne" toast. They are all now teenagers and the don't go out and party nor do they drink real alcohol. I am not naive enough to think that DS17 won't attend parties in college when he goes off in the fall either. I think you will find that kids that grow up in homes that don't treat alcohol as some evil thing that must be hidden do FAR less drinking.

That is not unlike what a lot of families do. Just as adults drink adult beverages in their homes in front of their children. The operative word is 'adult' and a sparkling drink on a special occasion with family is not inappropriate. However, hosting a party for pre teens and young teens in a bar/nightclub crosses the line for me. There is a world of difference between a 12 year old and a 17 year old.

 

[DawnCt1]

It's my friend that's having this party, and yeah, I agree with you, Dawn.

I thought you might. I detected a "certain lack of enthusiasm" in your original post.

 

[mjkacmom]

I guess I'm in the minority, but I don't have a problem with this party. I like the fact that kids can learn that mock-tails are yummy without the booze, and you can dance with your friends and still have fun without alcohol. Dd13 has a middle school dance coming up, she's wearing a cute cocktail dress, it will be at a restaurant with a DJ and multi-course dinner. My kids love to order shirley temples and virgin coladas when we're out as a special treat.

I think of it as a tween/teen version of dress-up.

 

[LisaR]

I would have allowed both of my kids to attend this party when they were that age. I would definitely have done one of these when I first opened the invitation and I would never think to throw a party like this for that age kid.

That said, I don't think one party is going to harm them. If it became the thing to do every Saturday night, I would not allow it.

I would be more concerned with the parties in the future, depending upon what type of area this is. Some people would view this party as a challenge to one up them when it is their kids b'day. If I noticed a pattern, my kids would be looking for some new friends. One party like this just strikes me as one overindulgent mother. As long as this isn't a trend, I would be okay with it.

 

[DawnCt1]

We didn't treat alcohol as evil in our home. My son saw us have wine with dinner or a cocktail when we had people over all the time. However, we never served him anything that resembled an alcoholic drink. Why would we want to encourage that? I'm sorry, but I just don't think it's a good idea for young teens to pretend to drink. Obviously, there are many people who disagree with me.

I agree with your approach as well. Every family deals with issues of alcohol in their own way. We did have sparkling grape juice, virgin drinks on the meal plans at WDW and when DS was 17 and we were out he decided to host his own drinking party at our house. We got home in the nick of time before they could haul all of the beer into the house. I chased the little darlings down in my evening dress and called all of their parents. The parents weren't so pleased about being awakened but too bad for them. Did I contribute to his desire for a party with alcohol? I don't think so but I can tell you that after chasing the kids down, herding them back into the house, dumping the beer that made it into the house, and calling their parents, we never had another party and DS was rather embarrassed when he returned to school on Monday.

 

[MrsPete]

Am I the only one who thinks that this type of party is more appropriate for older teens? A nightclub type setting with a bar isn't the kind of party I would plan for a 13 year old and her friends.

I was thinking the same thing. The virgin-drink idea does promote the idea of -- for lack of a better term -- "real drinking".

The icey drinks are a good idea for hot weather, but I'd dump the idea that they're "virgin daqueris" or whatever, and I'd call them slushies and serve them in plain plastic Solo cups.

I think you will find that kids that grow up in homes that don't treat alcohol as some evil thing that must be hidden do FAR less drinking.

Coming from a family with massive alcohol problems and having a father who died from drinking, I've read on this subject, and the statistics prove just the opposite: Early drinking -- even in moderation, even with parental permission -- increases the chances of the child becoming an alcoholic. What does help children adopt a healthy attitude towards alcohol is seeing parents who drink wisely -- that is, parents who don't drink to excess and parents who never drink and drive.

We didn't treat alcohol as evil in our home. My son saw us have wine with dinner or a cocktail when we had people over all the time. However, we never served him anything that resembled an alcoholic drink. Why would we want to encourage that? I'm sorry, but I just don't think it's a good idea for young teens to pretend to drink. Obviously, there are many people who disagree with me.

This is what we've done too. We've modeled responsible behavior. We've approached drinking as something that's fine in moderation, but reserved for adults. Kids don't learn to drink responsibly by actually drinking -- that just teaches them what alcohol tastes like and feels like; rather, they learn what to do and what not to do by watching their parents. From observation, they make up their minds what's acceptable and non-acceptable behavior.

For example, when I was a kid, my dad thought nothing of drinking and driving. As a child, I didn't really consider that it was dangerous; I mean, kids don't tend to think, "My dad's making bad choices." In my teen years, the public service announcements about DUIs started, and I realized just how bad his example had been. Of course, he was gone by then, and the drinking and driving was just one of the reasons.

 

[scrapquitler]

I would have allowed both of my kids to attend this party when they were that age. I would definitely have done one of these when I first opened the invitation and I would never think to throw a party like this for that age kid.

That said, I don't think one party is going to harm them. If it became the thing to do every Saturday night, I would not allow it.

I would be more concerned with the parties in the future, depending upon what type of area this is. Some people would view this party as a challenge to one up them when it is their kids b'day. If I noticed a pattern, my kids would be looking for some new friends. One party like this just strikes me as one overindulgent mother. As long as this isn't a trend, I would be okay with it.

Okay Lisa, you are my hero. You said what I've thought all along, but you've said it in a way that I couldn't articulate

Yeah, this is overindulgent Mom with an only child who has serious health issues, and we live in a community filled with the one-upping thing and a fair amount of $$ (we aren't like a lot of Fairfield county, but this is Southern CT). This is the first party we've encountered at this particular venue (which is not a real nightclub BTW), but I'm certain it isn't going to be the last.

My child (almost 14) is very good friends with the birthday girl (turning 13) and she will be going to this party. DH will probably go with her if I can't get the night off of work to go. But I would not be hosting this type of event (I can't even imagine how much it's going to cost!)

 

[DawnCt1]

I was thinking the same thing. The virgin-drink idea does promote the idea o Coming from a family with massive alcohol problems and having a father who died from drinking, I've read on this subject, and the statistics prove just the opposite: Early drinking -- even in moderation, even with parental permission -- increases the chances of the child becoming an alcoholic. What does help children adopt a healthy attitude towards alcohol is seeing parents who drink wisely -- that is, parents who don't drink to excess and parents who never drink and drive.This is what we've done too. We've modeled responsible behavior. We've approached drinking as something that's fine in moderation, but reserved for adults. Kids don't learn to drink responsibly by actually drinking -- that just teaches them what alcohol tastes like and feels like; rather, they learn what to do and what not to do by watching their parents. From observation, they make up their minds what's acceptable and non-acceptable behavior.

For example, when I was a kid, my dad thought nothing of drinking and driving. As a child, I didn't really consider that it was dangerous; I mean, kids don't tend to think, "My dad's making bad choices." In my teen years, the public service announcements about DUIs started, and I realized just how bad his example had been. Of course, he was gone by then, and the drinking and driving was just one of the reasons.

You are right. We have often heard that the liberal approach to alcohol consumption in European countries does not promote alcoholism but the statistics do not bear that out. There is significant alcoholism in young adults in Europe and the younger teens start drinking, the more they are at risk for alcoholism.