Very difficult, unusual situation

[gscott8075]

On cruise #5, we are cruising for the second time with our best friends. They have 6 in their family, we have 4 in ours. We were in each others' weddings and have taken many trips over the years. We used to live in the same town - now we live in different states. This is the one time a year we get together.

Our friends spoke to their neighbors about DCL and what a great time we had last year.

They mentioned to the neighbors that we were going in June - but not when or which ship.....

With that info, the neighbors called DCL - found out when we were cruising, booked a cabin next to all of us and linked into our dinner reservation. Keep in mind - I have met them once and our friends consider them neighbors - and not more...

It seems outrageous that anyone would do all of that without mentioning it before the fact - and its even more outrageous that DCL would release sail date info and cabin room info and link dinner ressies without making sure it was okay!

So, our dilemma - how do we fix this mess - our dates cannot be changed. AAUUGGHHH!!!!!!

 

[Mjasp]

Refer them to the DIS boards, maybe they'll see your post. LOL

I didn't think Disney gave out that information. When my friends called for their ressies, they had to give my confirmation number.

Are you sure your friends didn't tell them when they were going and maybe in passing conversation said too bad you can't join us. I know i've said that and then thought to myself OMG what am I saying.

 

[gscott8075]

My friends were able to link to me without my confirmation number.

Perhaps they figured out the sailing date based on the end of school? The only info they has was that we were going in June and that last year we went on the Magic.

They were definitely not provided with room numbers - and going along was never mentioned.

 

[spotssister]

Spending your valuable vacation time that you wait for so long with someone who was not invited and you don't want there . . . . The situation has to be corrected.

I would talk to a senior supervisor CM reservationist about the problem. Because of discussions I had not too long ago with DCL, I believe they have computer records of the DCL CM the neighbors talked to and just what was said and information given. Possibly phone conversations are recorded and kept for a while? I don't know about that.

Good luck on loosing or at least dodging the neighbors! They may be a very nice couple / family, but that doesn't mean you want to spend time, and certainly not a whole vacation, with them.

Keep us informed.

 

[mom2grace]

I don't know what it would cost, but have you thought about doing back-to-back Wonder's that week? You would have to adjust to Sunday-Sunday, but after our 7 night Magic, I would do back to back Wonder's anyway instead to get 2 days at CC! (I think Barb and Tony are geniuses!!)

I would call DCL, explain the situation and ask if they would give you a $$ break to switch!

Susan

 

[Michelle]

Definitely do what 999ghsts said and call and have the dining reservations "unlinked". I'd even go a step further and switch dining seatings if you can, and make sure that the other family is not in the same rotation either.

Can your friends talk to their neighbors and explain the situation? That this was a trip planned for the two families only? I personally would have no problem being so direct with a family that obviously has the gall to do this without asking, but I know not everyone is direct as that.

It's YOUR vacation; you take charge of it and do what is best for your family. Good luck, and keep us posted on the outcome!

 

[Karel]

Tough situation. Of course, it was totally wrong for the neighbors to do this without asking you all and it was pretty bad that DCL let them. On the other hand, I'm sure that DCL gets tons of phone calls about parties traveling and maybe it's just easier not to make too much of a fuss about it. Who knows what the neighbors said?


And there's still the fact that even after the cruise, your friends neighbors are still going to be their neighbors, so you have to be careful about future consequences.

It doesn't mean you have to be joined at the hip. You didn't mention if they have kids the same age as yours. Be polite but don't mention your plans for the day, if you can avoid it. Hopefully, they find their own things to do or be on a different schedule then you are. Maybe they did it just to make sure they knew someone on board? Are they young or old? Try to change the dinner seating or at least unlink the reservation - that you can always blame on a DCL screwup. The ship is soooo big it is probably pretty easy to avoid bumping into them too much. (We hardly ever ran into our tablemates during the day)

I know it sucks but relax about it. I think it would be really rude to come right out and tell them you don't want them but I guess they were pretty rude too. You could change your plans, but that doesnt' sound like much of an option, and it would be nasty to have to change because of other people. I guess the bottom line is to not let others spoil your vacation - you can only control the way you act, not their actions.

 

[gscott8075]

I think that is the biggest issue with being direct - the folks will still be neighbors at the end of the trip regardless of the outcome.

Hmmm.... more comments / thoughts?

I appreciate everyone's input.

 

[Hopkins]

What a mess! I thought about this... unlink the dinner reservations, change the rooms, ditch them at the ports, ditch them at the shows, change the ship,... . In the end, they are going to be tracked down, I think you just have to be honest with them. If all the families end up on this ship, then there is going to be some sad feeling about this on all sides.

WHAT WE NEED IS A SOCIAL THERAPIST! HELP!

Either, everyone is going to have to play together and tolerate each other part or all day or you are going to have to tell this neighbor that this was planned before to be a certain way with just the two families. It was really bold of the neighbor to link all the reservations together, so it's really bold to confront them about it. That might be the only way the neighbor understands. Be honest with the neighbor.

Oh my! Where's Dr. Phil on Oprah. (LOL!)
Sorry
Tina
Magic Western 1/18/03

 

[Gretel]

I would just tell them the truth. They were not invited. Have the reservations unlinked, and tell the 3rd party you will not be spending time with them only with your friends. We have taken two cruises with friends, and even though we had fun, our next cruise will be just our family.

 

[VondaP]

In all honesty, anyone can cruise at any time without an invitation as long as there are rooms available. Having said that, I think it was just rotten that they "horned" in on your plans. Perhaps the description of the ship was such that they just "had" to sail. Maybe they don't feel that they are being intrusive and actually are welcomed! You won't truly know what they feel unless they are asked. It's a tough situaton, I don't envy you. I, would, however be up front and honest. It's better than trying to sneak around the ship and avoid them, that to me would seem like more of a hassle and stressful than just telling the truth. I can only imagine how "not fun" it will be to tell the truth, but in the end you will be glad you did.

Just my .02 worth.

Vonda

 

[Lavne]

WOW! How irresponsible of DCL to release your private information? Luckily in your case it was just obnoxious neighbors, but what if it happened to a cruiser with someone who actually wanted to harm them or purposely ruin their vacation in some way??? I think you should contact DCL and let them know this happened, although it won't help you now.

You've not really said much about these people and why you don't want to spend time with them, other than not knowing them very well and looking forward to enjoying the time with your friends. I'm curious...

My guess, based on their behavior, is that they are just those kind of people who manage to get themselves included in stuff by any means possible. Unfortunately, if that the case, there's probably not alot you can do. They didn't consult your friends when making their plans, so I doubt subtle hints will work. Short of being direct and right in their face about it, which would be awfully rude, there's probably not much you can do. It certainly would be a shame if you ruin your own vacation hiding from and dodging these people. I agree with trying to unlink your ressies and perhaps switch dinner seatings if that's possible, but if they were to call later to check and find out, what would your friends say to them?

Unfortunately in the end, your friends still have to go back to living next door to these people. Are they really that unbearable? If you and your friends can be vague about any other plans you may have, maybe you can just get away with dinners together. It will probably be harder if they have kids too, especially if the kids get along.

I think you have to resign yourselves to dealing with these uninvited co-cruisers. Try, if you can, to not let it ruin your fun. Maybe you'll come out of it with new best friends! Maybe you'll come out of it with lots of funny vacation stories about trying to avoid them! Good luck either way!!! I hope you post after the fact and let us know how it worked out.

 

[Señor Ferrari]

I think you (or your friends) should confront the neighbors and explain that the trip you had planned did not include them. You can't stop them from sailing on the same date, but you can stop them from being seated with you at dinner and probably from having the cabin next door. I understand that they will still be neighbors after the trip, but if they aren't really friends to begin with, will it be that bad that they are mad at you?

We have a next-door neighbor who will not talk to us. Seems they thought their yard was too small, so they started building a fence about 2 feet onto our side of the property line. I really had no choice but to confront them. It's been two years, and they're still bitter. They actually rake up the leaves which fall from a tree in our yard and pile them up at the end of our driveway. I have to laugh because that's actually more work than just putting them in the trash can. Whatever...

My point is: will it be such a hardship for your friends if their neighbors are so upset by this that they stop talking to them? What else can they (the neighbors) really do? I would give it to the neighbors straight. A trip on the Magic for 10 people is by no means inexpensive. You shouldn't have to worry about ducking from the neighbors at every port, meal, movie or show. The confrontation will likely be an unpleasant experience, but it won't last long, and you'll then be able to enjoy your trip.

Good luck!

 

[pmgreene]

As someone else said, it is a free world and they can sail whenever they want to. Linking ressies and booking a room next door is a little too bold but I think it would be downright childish to tell another adult they are not welcome on the Disney Magic. Obviously not knowing these people I have to wonder if they will really be such leeches once onboard as people have insinuated. Maybe so, but onboard is the time to be "selfish" and say this or that is already planned for your two families. It would stand to reason that once onboard everyone will do their own thing. I am not minimizing the frustration that gscott8075 has about the whole situation. But they've never even met the neighbors and they could be decent people. Even if not, life is too short to be mean spirited to strangers. Could your friends be closer to these people then they are leeting on? Share the MAGIC of the cruise and still enjoy the special times with your friends. Just my HO......


(I too would change rooms and unlink dining. Book the excursions in advance and make sure your friend keeps all the details hush hush)

"When the world gives you lemons, make lemonade"

 

[Lyneigh P]

Sorry to hear about your friend's neighbors tagging along. I understand that they were not formally invited, and that it was very bold of them to link their room and dinner seating with you, but maybe there is some info you are missing. I know your friends have told you they never invited or told them about the actually cruise dates, but maybe they did and are too embarrassed to tell you. I know that my husband and I are very friendly with our neighbors, although we have never invited or gone on vacation with any of them, but in friendly conversation we have made comments that is would be fun to take a trip together. I wouldn't considered my neighbor's to be our best friends, and yet I still say things to them without really meaning it. Call it a flaw in my personality. I am too nice and friendly. Maybe your friends have the same problem. Maybe they are more friendly with their neighbors than they are telling you. Rather than make a big fuss, I would sugguset you and your friends do your own thing. There is not hard fast rule that says you have to do anything with them. When my family and I take vacations with our extended family of 12 or more. We each do our own thing and only meet for dinner or lunch. I don't think it would be that diffcult to tell them that you have your own plans for the day, and that you will see them at dinner. I believe for your friend's sake it would be very neighborly of them and you to just eat dinner with them, and do your own thing during the day. Hey, you may even make new good friends out of it.

 

[patches-4]

I would definently contact DCL and have things unlinked and possible change dinner rotations. You could change rooms, but that might be a lot of hassle if you already had your rooms picked out, maybe have them moved. Just let it ride about them going on the same cruise but explain that you and your friends will be unable to spend time with them, that you all have already picked out and made your plans for the cruiseand for the islands, which is a possibility with being able to book your excurssions ahead of time, and that you hope they enjoy their cruise. Like someone said it is a VERY large ship and you shouldn't have any trouble being someplace else from them and if you do see them, just wave and smile and proceed on to someplace different. Maybe they will get the message before the entire cruise is over and you can all enjoy the magic!!

 

[idontknow]

We had this happen on a trip to WDW. We had invited BIL to go along with us so DH and he could spend time together. BIL has this girlfriend that I will NOT tolerate. (that came later and this vacation was the straw that broke the camels back) They were both at the house when we were making plans. She has no job and her mother pays for everything even though her mother lives in another city. (the girlfriend also has a child by a close friend of ours, that is how BIL met her. Don't ask, it is a Jerry Springer episode! LOL) Anyway, I half-heartedly invited her giving her inflated pricing knowing that she has no money and mommy wouldn't give her extra money to go. What I didn't plan on is her earned income credit from her taxes. She filed rapid return and showed up the next week saying that they were all going! AUGH!!! They didn't have a car that would make it, so she swindled my MIL into loaning her MIL's car. (we were driving, too) 2 days before we were to leave, MIL asked what was going on. I told her that I didn't want the girlfriend going, so she said that they would not let them take the car because of insurance reasons. (white lie) Anyway, they got the car. They were supposed to meet us at DH's work to head out on the road. They never showed. When we called home after getting to WDW, MIL said that BIL and Co had been there for 2 hours. (they left before we did) Then they called and said that they were coming over. They called 30 minutes later saying that they were just heading out of WDW gates and would see us the next day. The next day arrives and they say they will be at our room in an hour. 2 hours later they call back and say they couldn't find the resort so they would try again after they stop at her friends house.

This is how the entire trip went. After the second day we didn't care about them. We did what we wanted to do when we wanted to do it. If they could catch us, fine, if not, too bad. The only thing I hated about it is the 6 year old little boy of hers. She kept promising him he would meet Mickey and he never did. She came real close to stealing MIL car and leaving BIL with us when they got into a drunken fight. (yes her son witnessed the entire fight at the pool bar of the ASMo) I brought up grand theft auto and the police and she thru the keys into the bushes and walked away without her kid.

So, as for uninvited guests.........at the very least only eat dinner with them to exchange stories of the day. (your friends do have to be neighbors with them after the cruise) But, if your friends are as upset as you are about the entire thing, switch as much as possible and run for the hills! LOL

 

["Ginger"]

I can't believe Disney linked up the neighbors ressie with your without someone giving them your numbers. On our last cruise in October I linked up 6 families and everytime I called to add one I was ask for ressie numbers. I could not give just their names. Disney would not even tell me their room numbers. I would call Disney on this matter and really raise some YOU KNOW WHAT.

 

[gscott8075]

Thanks for all of your thoughts.

Some clarifications ---

- I have met the neighbors twice in the past two years for a few moments each time.

- Our friends are very distraught - they would have told us if there was "more to the story" - apparently the neighbors tend to butt into a lot of things - and this takes the cake! Apparently they are not buddy buddy - they get together occasionally as most neighbors do.

- I agree that anyone can cruise anytime. I have met wonderful people on each of our cruises. We even ran into old neighbors of ours on our second cruise. And, we spontaneously got together a few times on the voyage - but we were not on the journey with them. Our friends neighbors presented the news and suddenly, we are all "going together"

Its just not right - if ya' know what I mean!

Thanks again for all of the perspectives. The internet is an amazing thing - all DCL fans who can empathize with each other and problem solve. What did we do before this stuff was around?

 

[taswira]

You know - If those neighbors tend to attach themselves so instantaneously to people, there is a GOOD chance they might just meet some other people on the ship that they will "gravitate" to and your problem will move elsewhere. It's pretty easy to make new friends on DCL.

You can hope . . .