*Updated**Uggggggh! Friends we are meeting in WDW are making me crazy! Hugs, please..

[nigel-bigel]

Okay, how about this...

What's to say the OP can't change an ADR? When the friend finally can give the OP a date, OP can just cancel her ADRs (Unless, or course, it 's breakfast at CRT!), or add a few people to the ressie.

I have finally learned that the best way to enjoy WDW is to make general plans for every day (which park, which ADRs - NOT which attractions in which order), but to have a "go with the flow" attitude. When the friend finally knows what she's doing, the OP can just "go with the flow".

As far as the midday break... Why doesn't the OP's DH take the kids back to the hotel for their rest, and the OP stay with the friend in the park? If the "Advanced Three Year Old" can't handle not having a buddy for a few hours, oh well. The OP is already making certain changes in her only vacation to accomodate the friend. Having a cranky and run-down child is not one of them.

I don't have a huge problem with changing one day of an 11 day vacation to see a friend that I really want to see. On the other hand, I would expect her to be considerate of the fact that this is my family vacation, and the changes she is requesting/expecting for her convenience are being made by all members of my family.

 

[frannn]

My family and my friend and her family will be spending an entire day in MK together, on Columbus Day. I know it will be crowded, but she was adamant that we had to pick a day when I had no PS at all. We will then be meeting them an additional day offsite, to visit the model home of the house they are having built, then we will all go to Beltz, then to dinner. So, we are spending two full days with them, which she will have to be content with. Its not that I don't want to visit with them, its just that this is our only serious family bonding time, and she can be very abrasive at times. Her DD3 is my DD3's closest friend, and she and I have been friends for almost 10 years (during which I have learned to deal with her occasional nastiness, mood swings, and "I'm always right" syndrome). She made some comments yesterday like, "my parents thought they would see you too" (why?), and "I thought you guys would come hang at our apartment, maybe take a swim in the complex's pool" (so, we're paying all this $ for what, exactly? I invited her back to our resort pool, BTW). I think she is in for a rude awakening when she sees how crowded it is, and how much time is spent on line, as opposed to the vision she currently has of what a day at the MK will be like. I just hope our visit is fun for all, and that she doesn't make any inconsiderate comments about my DDs, or DH may feel compelled to put her in her place..... My family will probably visit MK for a bit Fri/Sat, so I'll try to go along with whatever they want to do on Mon. I just hope she'll take my advice about what I've learned on how to deal with the crowds, etc. Thanks for all the support and hugs. I consider you all my friends as well, as you share my Disney obsession (just don't try to muscle in on my vacation-LOL)!

 

[nigel-bigel]

... and she can be very abrasive at times. Her DD3 is my DD3's closest friend, and she and I have been friends for almost 10 years (during which I have learned to deal with her occasional nastiness, mood swings, and "I'm always right" syndrome).

See,it's comments like this that don't exactly convince us you
really want to meet up with her!

 

[Amy&Dan]

See,it's comments like this that don't exactly convince us you
really want to meet up with her!

You know, you can have a friend or family member that you do want to be with but also dread being with at the same time. You can love a person to death but still know in all honesty that being with them can be good when its good, and when its bad its REALLY bad. Kind of takes that happy, anticipation feeling away. My sister is bi polar and each time I see her I go in not knowing what to expect and yeah, I want to see and I also dread it too. I think the OP sounds like she cares about her friend but knows that this woman can go off. OP also knows that if Columbus Day crowds are as predicted this could just make it all worse. Good luck to her.

P.S. This is why I am glad we don't know anybody in the Orlando area. If this "friend" lived far away and had the same financial committment to this time at WDW she probably wouldn't be so quick to not want to plan or have ADR's. After the dust settles in her financial life she can go back often, OP on the other hand can't.

 

[ctrabada]

My parents, sister and brother live in Orlando and I know how it feels to want to see someone but not disrupt your vacation. That's why I make some trips to Orlando just to see them (of course, I can do that because I'm only 3.5 hrs away) and some just for WDW. Even on the WDW trips, I take them out to dinner or stay one night with them or plan a shopping day, etc. but I still stick to my plans. Thankfully, they're not intrusive and go with the flow. If I could afford passes for them, I would buy them... They love Disney as much as we do but cannot afford to go. So, I usually invite them over to our hotel and make dinner reservations at one of the resorts so they can feel a little of the magic. This past trip I invited them to dinner at Narcoossee's and then a birthday Wishes cruise for my birthday. We had a blast. They got to enjoy the fireworks at MK and some fabulous family bonding time.

With my inlaws, we don't plan anything anymore because they are not reliable. When they express interest in going to WDW with us, I always offer to help them with reservations, but do not change one iota of my plans because most of the times they change their minds at the last minute. So I tell them when I'll be there and to call us if they actually make it. I also let them know which parks I will be visiting on those days in case they want to join us. No point in making plans when they either will not show or show up so late that it would drive me up the wall.

The key is compromise... I will make minor compromises in order to accomodate a visit with friends and family, but not if it will disrupt my plans too much that it would ruin my vacation.

And of course, all this blah, blah and nothing about the OP's predicament. It seems like she compromised, but my word of advice is: if you are uncomfortable at any time, BAIL OUT! Make contingency plans in case things do not go as planned. If you are miserable and cannot make your friend understand, then leave, provided, of course, that you make an effort to get along too....

 

[jann1033]

well isee this so totally differently .maybe she has medical reasons for it ( pmdd, bipolar,what ever) but so far from what you have said she doesn't seem to be all that accomodating. our second to last trip was ruined by a family like that( didn't want to get up but didn't want us to go without them and meet them later, didn't want to eat when/where we wanted( 2 families vs 1 family) but didn't want to eat alone, ect ect ect ect. by the end of the vacation i was ready to strangle her . and as far as the daughter thing while a little comparing is inevitable, why should you let her put your kid down?...i'd say "my way or the highway" and let her pay and come visit me if she doesn't like it. that's jmo but after that trip i wiped "doormat" off my forehead and thought "never again"

 

[LaraK]

We met up with family when we went in April. Luckily, we all had our priorities straight...we were there for our kids. My dad, step mom and step brother were happy to just watch my kids experience things. My oldest nephew put up with Small World because they wanted to spend time with my cousins. (all the kids...there were five...were between the ages of 6 and 1). We made one priority seating as a family...for breakfast at CP...but also split up when needed and met later. (my kids went back for a nap) We set out from the begining to do the "meeting at WDW" thing as total non-stress...if we ride a ride together-great, if not-fine. When we go back in November my dad and step mom are meeting us. We have priority seatings we may not be able to get them into (Princess dinner in Norway). If not, they'll eat somewhere else and we'll meet them.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Sounds like you figured out a compromise--one day at MK and another offsite day doing other things. Have a game plan for the MK day or, you're right, you'll spend lots of time in lines. Let her know upfront that you have figured out when to do what to minimize the time in line. If it were me I'd even jokinly suggest that I'm a bit uptight about the planning, kind of as a warning.

My family knows how I like to plan things. My sister (who is older and has grown children) used to be kind of amused by my planning until she realized how much time I saved us by doing certain rides at certain times. She has been won over and now expects for me to plan everything (which I enjoy doing). Before going with me she didn't know about the baby swap and when she'd go with her DD and the grandkids they would wait in line twice for a ride. Now my sister loves to tell others about the baby swap and other things that she's learned from me.

Have fun on your trip!

 

[pplasky]

WOW, this saga is sooo sad. I have a friend who visits us every time we go. My son and her son have gotten to be close solely by meeting in Disney every year. Her family always plans around us and usually makes ADR's with us. If we have something special planned(like the hoopdedoo) they just go their own way. Two years ago they upgraded to an AP because it was Easter, Last year they bought tickets for universal instead because the weekend they could come, that was on our itinerary. Now I agree, I have gone with family, and it can get "overwhelming". But it is so worth it. If you are truly that close, then you should not be so stressed. Try to make it work, it is only a day or two, and you never know what the future will bring.

 

[tlbwriter]

My son and her son have gotten to be close solely by meeting in Disney every year. Her family always plans around us and usually makes ADR's with us.

Those are the kinds of friends who are easy to visit. Sounds like the OP's friend is the kind who says "I know you're on a very expensive vacation that you can't take very often, but I want you to spend an entire day of it doing nothing but hanging out with meeeeeeeee!"

 

[Honeybehr1]

Our last vacation we in 2002 we had brought along our niece who was 13 at the time. DH has a cousin who lives in Tampa and niece wanted to see her and her son so bad that we said fine. How bad could it be right? LOL We met at AK for the day. UUGGHH DN ended up watching her son the whole day and Dh got to wheel around her husband in a wheel chair. We did everything that she wanted to do (wasnt worth the aggrevation of arguing with her). The only thing I insisted on was the Lion King show and it was awesome. We went out to dinner that night.

Ended up not seeing half of AK in an entire day.

This trip - noone but us. Noone knows in either family. Not meeting up with anyone. Its our "Family" vacation and we couldnt be happier. It was a disaster last time. But we did it for DN so it was OK - i guess.

 

[GoofyBanker]

I don't understand this "friendship"? True Friends do not put down their friends children. In the south, that kind of "friendship" usually is rewarded with a butt kickin'! You asked for an opinion and you received many good and politically correct liberal minded options. My opinion.......dump this nut like a hot rock and go enjoy your vacation!

 

[Lucky4me]

I think you need to separate the issues here.
I can understand where your friend is coming from. You wouldn't give her an exact date to get together. I'm sure she also has a daily schedule of some sort, doesn't she?
I don't think giving up one, or even two days out of eleven for a close friend should put you out this much. Disney vacation or not.
Since they'll be shelling out $60 or so per person for only one day in the park, I can understand her wanting to stay the entire day and not breaking it up in the middle for naps or swim breaks. Couldn't you skip the break for that one day? Also, why would they want to spend that kind of money just to meet up in a park for a few hours? I'm sure they miss their old home and you and your family and would like to spend some quantity as well as quality time with you. It's a tough adjustment to move away from everyone you know and love.

It almost sounds like you are keeping her to Columbus day just to prove a point, instead of changing your itinerary, (adrs) to accomodate a park get together on another day when you know it won't be as crowded. Were you hoping she'd just say forget it?
It also sounds as if you are very angry with what she said about your daughter. Get that cleared up and I'm sure everything else will fall into place. Don't wait for your husband to put her in her place. You tell her you don't appreciate the comments now, so he won't have to later.

If you really are ticked off at her and don't think the friendship is worth it anymore, by all means do not waste your precious vacation time with her. Be honest and tell her straight up you want to be alone with your family this trip. That's what I'd do if I felt that way. Life is too short to be spending even one day with people who make you miserable, especially if you're not related to them and don't HAVE to spend time with them. :lol

fwiw, I too am very protective of my Disney vacations and micromanage every hour. Before we leave. Once we're there, I don't sweat it if we miss a dinner reservation or switch parks for the day. We always have a great time.
Good luck!

 

[kathylovesdisneyworl]

I don't have little kids to take to disney anymore but when it comes to taking breaks in the afternoon, go for it. Every time we are at Disney we see so many familys that are ready to kill each other cause they are tired. If you feel your family needs a rest time, then certainly take it. MK is probably going to be packed that day, so a break is a good idea. Remember, your family should come first. Only you know what is best for them.

 

[Pedler]

Hmm... I am sensing a trend here. If a friend or family lives near Orlando then the probability that someone will visit them at thier own home as is normal when seeing family and friends is signifigantly reduced due to the proximity of Disney World. Apparently for many people, not all but many, a day at Disney World is more important than family or friends that live in the area. Interesting priorities for folk that go to a family oriented destination.

 

[Lucky4me]

Hmm... I am sensing a trend here. If a friend or family lives near Orlando then the probability that someone will visit them at thier own home as is normal when seeing family and friends is signifigantly reduced due to the proximity of Disney World. Apparently for many people, not all but many, a day at Disney World is more important than family or friends that live in the area. Interesting priorities for folk that go to a family oriented destination.

Now that's not really fair to say that, in this case anyway.
The OPs friend sounds like a pain in the neck. Who would want to spend their vacation time with someone like that?

 

[Pedler]

Now that's not really fair to say that, in this case anyway.
The OPs friend sounds like a pain in the neck. Who would want to spend their vacation time with someone like that?

Its not that. Personally I would have lost it over the daughter comment. Its the comments from folk that they are on a WDW vacation and the tone appears that spending time visiting with a family member or friend that is local to Orlando should only be done in the least intrusive to the WDW vacation as possible.

Flipping it arround what if someone were to visit an area like Pinehurst to play golf and then told a friend in the area that the only way they could spend time with them is if they joined them on the golf course for a day. They only have 11 days for vacation and they can't spare a single day away from the golf courses to spend with family and friends. I think that people here would have a different view of that sitation as opposed to a WDW vacation. In my mind both are equal but I know others that think different rules apply to family and friends when visiting WDW.

Thats the only point I am making. Just think how it would sound if you changed the WDW part to a golfing or winery touring or some other type of vacation.

 

[PrincessLindy]

We went with a friend before. It was nice in a way because he helped with our daughter who was 2. But I did get tired of having to work around someone else. Not that I am selfish but you spend a lot of money and want to do things your way.

My husband keeps trying to invite friends along. It might be better because they have families but I always say that if we go together we are doing what we want and if they want to join us great, if not see you later.

 

[miss missy]

I only got half way thru the first post. I tried to go with people before, they were easy about everything, no fights, but I just didnt like it! It was lets all be polite so no one really spoke up and I just didnt know if they were ok with what we were doing or not. I viwed NEVER again!!!!!

Tell her forget it, bad idea and get out of it now !!!!!!!

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

So funny, because it sounds like a so- called friend I had also that lives in Orlando. She moved down there a year ago. When we were there in Jan. we had plans for certain days because our oldest are the same age. In the 10 years I've known her, we can never do something without it getting changed at the last minute to suit her. She cancelled or changed our plans, 3 times while we were there and then whined when I wouldn't change our last day plans to spend time with her and her family.

Bottom line is, we had a disagreement back in Aug about plan changing again, among other things, so haven't talked to her since then. But she was never happy, always whining about this and that, thinking she knew it all and also put my kids down on more than 1 occasion. Our visits with her always stressed me out. Our trip this Sept. was great, no worries about having to meet her and plans getting changed and listen to her brag about her wonderful life in Florida and her perfect kids. Hope it all works out for you though and you can meet a compromise. Good Luck!