UPDATED: Is there anything you can do to get someone to stop contacting you

[luvwinnie]

if they aren't "threatening" you...and you have TOLD them very clearly "do not contact me again"...this person has emailed me several times at my personal and work address (I haven't replied in months) and mailed a card to my home. I set up an automated response to his email account that said "This account has been closed" so he then sent me the same email FROM A DIFFERENT EMAIL ADDRESS, I guess to test if the email was truly closed. It's someone I was once good friends with and worked with who has become kind of unbalanced I guess...delusional even, paranoid, angry....which is why he no longer works there.

 

[Philagoofy]

I don't know how to get someone to stop contacting you but as long as you continue not to respond and to ignore/trash all types of mail, hopefully they will finally give up. Good luck.

 

[My sister's princess]

You could contact the police. They will tell him to leave you alone, other than that if he has multiple ways to get a hold of you it might be hard

 

[kimmar067]

...that's funny how you have this particular dilemma - I used to have an account on classmates[dot com] and a former classmate of mine keeps trying to have me sign up on his 'buddy list', facebook, and so on. He even sent ME a birthday card [in April] which I did NOT appreciate because, my DH was not even slightly amused by this at all (and wanted to know why a guy from the past is sending me something 'personal') and my birthday isn't even in April, plus the fact of just how did he get my home address without my knowledge or consent?? He lives out-of-state, so this whole thing is really CREEPY to me...funny thing is, I was never really friends with him in high school...

 

[Kies99]

Definitely try contacting the police. While it may not be threatening, it could be considered harassment (depending on how many times this has happened). I'd also contact your IT department at work and ask if they can block based on IP address.

 

[luvwinnie]

...that's funny how you have this particular dilemma - I used to have an account on classmates[dot com] and a former classmate of mine keeps trying to have me sign up on his 'buddy list', facebook, and so on. He even sent ME a birthday card [in April] which I did NOT appreciate because, my DH was not even slightly amused by this at all (and wanted to know why a guy from the past is sending me something 'personal') and my birthday isn't even in April, plus the fact of just how did he get my home address without my knowledge or consent?? He lives out-of-state, so this whole thing is really CREEPY to me...funny thing is, I was never really friends with him in high school...

It IS creepy! He must have had a crush on you, maybe? I also have had things happen to suggest he's "googling" me...how about spending your time finding a job instead of being preoccupied with me??

 

[luvwinnie]

Definitely try contacting the police. While it may not be threatening, it could be considered harassment (depending on how many times this has happened). I'd also contact your IT department at work and ask if they can block based on IP address.

In a way, I fear that blocking will force him to be desperate and SHOW UP at work...but then I can definitely call the police.

 

[kimmar067]

It IS creepy! He must have had a crush on you, maybe? I also have had things happen to suggest he's "googling" me...how about spending your time finding a job instead of being preoccupied with me??

....I graduated in 1975.....that sure is ONE LONG CRUSH....

 

[kimmar067]

In a way, I fear that blocking will force him to be desperate and SHOW UP at work...but then I can definitely call the police.

 

[kimmar067]

...luvwinnie, I noticed that you are from Bergen County - me too!

 

[luvwinnie]

...luvwinnie, I noticed that you are from Bergen County - me too!

Hey Neighbor! Yep, that is a long crush. I graduated in 1986. A couple years ago I ran into someone I briefly dated and he started emailing and calling me at work and when I said I couldn't go to lunch with him he started leaving msgs like "This is the guy you love to ignore." What is WRONG with people?

 

[ols386]

Definitely try contacting the police. While it may not be threatening, it could be considered harassment (depending on how many times this has happened). I'd also contact your IT department at work and ask if they can block based on IP address.

I definately think it's harassment/stalking. If it were me, I'd contact the police and let them know what's going on and if they have any suggestions as to how to make that person stop. At least, by contacting the police, they are aware of the situation.

That's a good suggestion to contact your it department at work, and maybe they can put a block on your address.

 

[kimmar067]

Hey Neighbor! Yep, that is a long crush. I graduated in 1986. A couple years ago I ran into someone I briefly dated and he started emailing and calling me at work and when I said I couldn't go to lunch with him he started leaving msgs like "This is the guy you love to ignore." What is WRONG with people?

 

[luvwinnie]

IT guy is looking into it.

 

[Hercules10]

Personally when a gal first stops responding to me I cease all correspondence. Don't call, text, email...nothing. I move on and forget her.

HOWEVER! Recently I have been told that I give up to easily and that some women like to be chased. Without a program how is anyone supposed to know who wants to be chased?

That being said. I don't see where you've documented telling him to take a long walk off a short pier.

Go ahead and document something tellng him to leave you alone. It could help if you do need to get the law involved.

Good Luck!

 

[Jennasis]

I agree with the poster above. Make sure you have said in no uncertain terms, as explicitly as possible. DO NOT CONTACT ME EVER AGAIN in any way shape or form. It may be that this person has an issue which would preclude them from understanding subtelty in interpersonal communication.

 

[2binak]

I used to work for a pro sports team and one of the players had a "fan" who would send letters to our office addressed to him, wait for him after games, etc. We kept all letters in a file in our office and I believe that the police were made aware of the "fan" in case she decided to take it to another level. It would not hurt for you to call the administrative line of your local PD to ask what they suggest you do since I'm sure they deal with these issues quite frequently. It does seem a bit unsettling that this person has created a new e-mail address in order to continue getting in touch with you. That's what bother's me the most about your situation. Good luck OP!

 

[luvwinnie]

Personally when a gal first stops responding to me I cease all correspondence. Don't call, text, email...nothing. I move on and forget her.

HOWEVER! Recently I have been told that I give up to easily and that some women like to be chased. Without a program how is anyone supposed to know who wants to be chased?

That being said. I don't see where you've documented telling him to take a long walk off a short pier.

Go ahead and document something tellng him to leave you alone. It could help if you do need to get the law involved.

Good Luck!

Maybe I was not clear: We were not dating, just friends. We are both married. PEople now say I was kind of naive though and he had stronger feelings perhaps...eeeew. Anyway, I did, in an email say DO NOT CONTACT ME AGAIN, back in Feb. when he was bringing legal action against my employer.

 

[2binak]

Personally when a gal first stops responding to me I cease all correspondence. Don't call, text, email...nothing. I move on and forget her.

HOWEVER! Recently I have been told that I give up to easily and that some women like to be chased. Without a program how is anyone supposed to know who wants to be chased?

This guy created a new e-mail account in order to get past her blocking his old account. This goes well beyond being socially acceptable. When a woman wants to be chased, she may not call you for a few days - she doesn't block your e-mail address! I don't know who you've been getting dating advice from, but you might want to find a new source.

 

[mlynn]

Maybe the IT people in your job can block his IP Address or call the Internet Provider his emails are coming from and tell them what he is doing.