UPDATE: We're Home! Am I setting myself up for failure?

[staceyhzoo]

We had the BEST TIME EVER! It was truly magical. DD did wonderful except for the buses (we only used them for MK days) and we drove to all the other parks. I honestly cannot remember why I was so nervous. When we got there she said "yay we're home!" The room was clean and had great animals. I honestly can't complain about any CM, they were all wonderful and we got lots of pixie dust (and spread some of our own too). I have 3 complaints: it was hotter than we expected-oh well out of any one's control, there were lots of tour groups and on the whole they were ok-just really loud, and the idiot man who jumped over my 2 yr old ds while ds was in his stroller-we were waiting in line for TSM and this 50 yr old man jumped my son and scared him. I was so angry. A cast member saw it happen and put us on TSM with no wait to apologize! The guy had on a shirt that said #1 DAD and I hoped to see him later to tell his family what he did, but I'm not that bold and I am not too sure he didn't get in trouble for what he did since he really could have hurt my ds. CM went to him right away...Karma. I want to thank everyone again. The QS dining was easy and we will do it again. We did do Chef Mickey's for breakfast and the kiddos loved it so I think one Character Meal a trip is the way to go for us.
Now to rest and start planing our Jan 2012 trip!














































We are heading to Disney in Oct. It will be dd's 3rd trip and ds's 2nd. Dd is 4 and has severe spd, anxiety, delayed speech, and possibly asd (we are waiting for a full eval when she turns 5). She is excited and we are already starting her prep work. We are taking her in busy public places (mall back to school shopping) and talking about wearing shoes, etc. Shoes are her biggest issue-she refuses to wear them. She has to feel everything with her feet. We finally stopped her from trying to touch her food with them It's funny now but not then.
We are spending 8 days and taking 2 days off to swim and relax. We may do 2 full days or 4 half days depending on what she needs.
Our last trip we did DDP and had too many sit down meals for her to manage (she has severe food allergies so we were there longer than normal). Thankfully, she had outgrown her 2 biggest and hardest to avoid allergies.
This year we can do the QSDP so meals should be easier, her biggest issue with food is she waits until she's starving to tell us and if she's not really hungry she won't eat. We will carry snacks to give her if we have to while dh gets food.
She loves the characters and rides. We use a stroller so she can have her safe place and she can't bolt when she gets upset.
My family is the most important thing to me in the world. Their happiness is the only thing I care about. We really need this trip. Dh works out of town 5 days a week and I have dd and ds to care for by myself. I am not complaining, I am thankful he has a job. I work mostly from home but my job is HIGH STRESS. Partially because I work when the kids are asleep and that doesn't leave much time for sleep for me. Financially our family has taken a huge hit in the last week, we will be fine in Sept but right now I'm sweating it. The group I work for is being hit by the economy and that's adding to my stress level.
I am so worried I am putting so much into this trip I am going to be devasted if it isn't what I think it will be. I know dd will have her issues and get frustrated, but I can handle that. I'm worried that she won't get to see the characters she wants since we aren't doing character meals. I'm worried even though she's 42.5 inches barefoot she won't get to ride the only two rides she's talking about (Big Thunder and Tower of Terror) she rode Big Thunder last time when she was barely 40 inches in shoes. I know I'm my own worst enemy here but I can't stop it. I'm also worried I am not going to give ds the attention he needs. I think I am forgetting DH will be there since he's out of town so much. (He does have a shot at a similar position closer to home with a little higher pay so fingers crossed!!)
To top it all off, my mom was supposed to come but fell off her porch and broke some ribs and even with an ECV her dr has told her to stay home. Kiddos don't know yet and I don't know when/how to tell them. Ds is only 2 but is way to smart and vocal for his own good.
What do I do to stop this crazy cycle I have myself in? What can I do to make sure this trip is the best it can be without too high of expectations? Help! I'm so overwhelmed.
Both dd and ds ask me everyday are we going to Mickey's today? I love those kids. I read the wonderful stories and just set and cry like a baby, I am hopeful I have one to post soon.
To anyone who made it though to the end thanks!!
Any suggestions?


Hoping for that Disney Magic!Hurry up Oct.

 

[peemagg]

I think the first thing you need to do is stop and take a deep breath. I find that the more I stress about things and the more expectations I place on things, the worse they are or the more disappointed I am when it doesn't go as well as I expected.

It just doesn't help. Just try going with the flow of the trip and you might be pleasantly surprised as to how nice things just fall into place.

 

[Bete]

I agree with peemagg and you should take a deep breadth.

I didn't hear you mention a GAC, but you may be a candidate from the way it sounds. If you can get the stroller to be treated as a wheelchair, then it may help you. You can get other considerations, too. You will have to tell guest services at the parks about your situation.

Don't set yourself up for failure by having high expections. If your child needs to be up close to the characters for a personal experience then you will have to wait in line at the meet and greets. If she only wants to see the characters from afar, then the parades will help on that count, as well as, some of the shows like Lion King. If you need to do a character meal, you could always try stand by for it, but be prepared for the wait to be much longer. If you want to play it safe then make one ressie for a character meal and pay for it OOP. You can always cancel this meal if it seems you don't need it, afterall. Find out what her favorite characters are and see if you can match the one restaurant that suits you best.

I think I would get your child those swim shoes which are very thin and perhaps some shoe socks (rubberized on the bottom). She will get a better feel from those items than shoes. Wear regular shoes when you have to do it like for rides.

If by chance your child fails the height requirement on a ride, try again at another time. Maybe, with a different CM you'll have better luck. If it's close it could make a difference. Tell your child to stand very upright if she's getting measured and have her tallest shoes on.

If your child fails getting on to a certain ride then make a big fuss about another ride the child can do and maybe that will help. Make it sound like you and everyone else wants to do a different ride and make a big deal out of it. Hopefully, it will take the child's mind off any dissappointments.

Even if everything isn't 100%, 90% is pretty good at WDW. You can't sweat it all.

 

[Earstou]

I agree with the others, you need to sit back and relax, and don't set yourself up for disappointment. Magical things will happen on your trip, but they might not be what you are expecting. You may not see them because you are expecting something else!!
Dd was 9 on her first trip and she was expecting WDW to be perfect in every way. She was a picky eater and found out quickly that the food was the same there as it was at home. She also was upset about having to wait in lines. The first day she was horribly grumpy. We were wondering if we had made a mistake by bringing her! Then at dinner she exclaimed, "Even the pop is too fizzy" and burst into tears. Dh and I were so surpised by this we just burst out laughing. But we then realized she had set herself up for disappoinment by expecting perfection. We talked to her and calmed her down, and the rest of the trip was wonderful. We still talk about the "too fizzy" pop now years later when we start expecting too much from situations!

On the trip remember to stop and smell the roses! I had to remind my dh about that the first time we took ds. He was trying to do the parks commando style, and ds kept stopping to look at things. I had to remind dh that he had seen things before, but ds had not, that we needed to slow down so ds could enjoy the little things along the way!

Sorry to hear about your mom, hope she recovers quickly. I would tell the kids immediately, so that they have time to get over the fact she's not going before you leave. Keep them occupied by making a card for Grandma to get well (change the focus from her not going to them doing something sweet for her!). October is a ways off yet, so maybe her doctor will change his mind and let her go.
Have you thought about using a touring plan like Tour Guide Mike (TGM)? He does have suggestions about when to eat to lessen wait times (as he does for the rides). I had vowed to never return during the crowded summer season, but dh started teaching again and we had no choice. TGM made the trip great, and I won't worry about a summer trip again if I can use TGM!

 

[adamsclan]

Our son is on the autism spectrum. He absolutely hated to travel until we went to Disneyworld the first time (he was 4). Now he loves to travel anywhere. He has a lot of issues with noise and crowds, but did really well handling it. Now Disneyworld is our favorite place to visit. I have read stories from many people who feel that their autism spectrum children have made improvements at Disney and I feel that is true for mine as well. There is just something magic there. You do need to keep in mind your child's stressors and limits, and be willing to have a Plan B ready. You are never going to see or do everything, so there's always a reason to go back!!

 

[lunapnp]

My oldest DD, 14, is also special needs. We are planning our 10th trip to Orlando in October. Disney, in our opinion, is THE place to go for people with special needs. It is just fabulous! I know where you are coming from: I work a full time job...DH works full time plus (translates into he's a workaholic! ). We both have stressful jobs plus add the stress of raising kids and even more stress of a child with special needs. Life can be crazy...but we all need "down" time. Use this vacation as your time to unwind and decompress from the pressures and stress of the real world. Nothing in life is perfect...not even a Disney vacation! Set yourself up for success on this trip...your only requirement is to have a wonderful vacation with your family!!!!

 

[rustynation]

I've survived a zillion trips with SPD, anxiety, possible ASD, and now my mother thinks I've got ADD as well. (I also think I do, though my psychiatrist doesn't.) Some of this wasn't even diagnosable the last time I went to anywhere Disney.

I think if you manage to go with the flow on your trip, you should be fine, though that sounds hard with your monetary worries. Bete's tips on "high expectations" sound very helpful.

Don't expect the trip to be the same as it would be if you and your husband were going alone.

And also, tell your kids right away that their grandmother isn't going; it'll give them more time to adjust.

 

[staceyhzoo]

Thanks everyone! I'm back to normal now
I think I'm calmer now. I was working myself into a huge ball of stress for no reason. We've done this without a diagnosis or meds (natural supplements) just last Dec and we had a great time.
We are going QSD route this time to see if dd is happier not having to wait and do TS meals. We might go ahead and try and do Ohana Breakfast since it's dd's fav. I'm checking everyday for a opening.
It's sad when my 4 yr tells me to 'chill out mom-geez!' At least she put me in perspective.
I know we'll go with the flow and have a wonderful time. We're doing 9 days instead of 7 to give us plenty of time.
DD is really excited since we told them we are going to MNSSHP. She asked her dad when we are leaving and he told her in 1 month. Her response we "AWWWW Man" I know I'm not giving her enough credit she's come such a long way this last few months.
Thanks again. At least someone gets what I'm saying. Non of our friends have any type of special needs kids and sadly my dd's best friend's nanny sees her more than her mom (Macy's sees her mom the most) It's nice to be able to get some outside advice and a btdt and survived!
We are going to see my mom next week and tell the kids then. We hope it's easier with everyone telling them that there is always next year (I'm already planning that trip now-since mom said she'd try again!)

You guys are awesome!

 

[Nicole&Becker]

I have two kids who have SPD on opposite ends of the spectrum so I can totally relate. On top of that I have my own disabilities and DH has some issues of his own too. We do very well considering, but I can totally relate to your stress. I did the same thing on our last trip. I expected so much from the trip that nothing worked out well at all. I even got injured on a ride and was laid up the rest of the trip (it was on day 4 of 9).

Anyway, what we learned is to take it slow, realize that we will not get to do everything, and to take breaks so no one gets overwhelmed and freaking out.

A couple of pointers: (I have not read all the responses so some others might have already suggested this)

1. Take a deep breath, No really! it does help! Then close your eyes and do it again!

2. Having done characters both ways (meals and standing in line) you may want to narrow down the most important characters. Then I would see about doing maybe only one or two character meal for those characters to make sure you get to see them. For the rest you can get a GAC that says she can't stand in line or in the sun for a long time. Then you can talk to the CM at the character line and let them know your daughters needs. They can let you sit somewhere else with her and then they will come get you when is a good time. So there is a solution!

3. If she is going to be in the stroller most of the time, then she can NOT wear shoes in the stroller. We went through this for a long time with my youngest son and he still prefers to NOT wear shoes but won't fight us so much about wearing them as he used to. You could see if she would be ok with some Mickey Kroc's shoes. We bought some AT WDW and my son was way happier about them.

4. As for your other child, Divide and Conquer! You will have two people for a change and that will likely be a great change for you. Because WDW is such a magical place for kids, I don't think he will feel left out at all.

5. The rides- If she wants to go on those rides and was able to go on at least one of them last time, she will be fine this time. My older son was able to do both of those on our last trip as well. no reason she can't do it again.

6. As for keeping her calm with all the extra stimulai around, try using things like a soft scrap of fabric or a really good quality wash cloth. My son loves to chew on his wash cloth even still and will rub it all over himself to help calm himself. Things like deep pressure like really "big" hugs can help. Do you have an occupational therapist? If you do you can ask him/her for ideas that you can take to the parks with you. There are also some really great books out there with tons of awesome ideas in them that you can try out before you go. It will make your life easier at the parks as well as keep her happier.

7. Meals- My son is the same way about eating. Carrying snacks can help but just be careful she doesn't fill up on them or she won't eat any other food. I would wear a watch and try to track when she gets hungry for the first couple days you are there so you can better anticipate when she might get hungry the rest of the days. You are allowed to bring outside food into the parks if it is for medical reasons. So just let them know it is for your daughters medical needs. I don't know if you are staying on site or not or what hotel but you can look into getting some groceries delivered to save on costs in the parks and luggage fees. We are doing this with things like fruit, soy milk, small snacks, veggies, pull ups, wipes, Ensure, and a case of water. The delivery fee is only $12 through GardenGrocer.com. We are staying at the Caribbean Beach resort which has a mini fridge inside. That should be enough for the few parishable things. If you are staying somewhere else that doesn't have a fridge, you can request one for medical reasons. SPD is considered by most to be a disability. So if that will help you, use it.

Whatever your daughters needs are and whatever will help her to enjoy the vacation, don't hesitate to ask to make that happen. Sometimes it is hard to ask for things that are extra to help you to be happier, but it is better to ask for what you need than to try to suffer through it.

We are asking for a VIP cleaning on our room because of my and my DH's severe dust allergies, and both my kids are sensitive to laundry soaps so we also asked for a double rinse on all bedding and towels. We have a fridge but if we didn't we would ask for one because I and both my son's have special drinks because of different food allergies that need to be kept cold. I will be asking for a GAC for myself and my younger son. Both of us cannot be in direct sun for very long without getting a rash and migraines. I also cannot climb stairs. We will likely use a wheelchair for me half way through the trip, but I am ok with that if it means we will be able to have more fun.

Our motto for this trip is to take things slow, and to just have more fun than last time! lol I am sure you all will have a great trip. We are going the month after you, and would love to hear how your trip goes. Hugs!

 

[SueM in MN]

Some very good advice already - I just want to add a few things.
First - there is more information about Guest Assistance Cards (GACs) in post #6 of the disABILITIES FAQs thread. You can find that thread near the top of this board or follow the link in my signature to get there.

I think I would get your child those swim shoes which are very thin and perhaps some shoe socks (rubberized on the bottom). She will get a better feel from those items than shoes. Wear regular shoes when you have to do it like for rides.

If she like the swim shoes, she should be able to wear those in the parks all the time. Some kids with ASD like the feel of the swim shoes that are made of a neoprene type material like this because the shoes themselves give some firm pressure. (If the link doesn’t work, you can find a lot by doing an internet search for water shoes). Check out the seams if there is one on the back of the heel - I have sometimes found there is a rough spot there on the swim shoes. If so, you can probably cover it with some moleskin.

Sorry to hear about your mom, hope she recovers quickly. I would tell the kids immediately, so that they have time to get over the fact she's not going before you leave. Keep them occupied by making a card for Grandma to get well (change the focus from her not going to them doing something sweet for her!). October is a ways off yet, so maybe her doctor will change his mind and let her go.

If Grandma can’t go, maybe you can do something special for Grandma every day - like take some special pictures, send a post card, buy some small gift for Grandma.

Have you thought about using a touring plan like Tour Guide Mike (TGM)? He does have suggestions about when to eat to lessen wait times (as he does for the rides). I had vowed to never return during the crowded summer season, but dh started teaching again and we had no choice. TGM made the trip great, and I won't worry about a summer trip again if I can use TGM!

Many people have posted the same thing.
It makes a VERY big difference to know where to be and when. It not only helps with waiting in lines, but also with waiting for other things and just getting around in the parks.
A GAC can only help for attractions, but knowing where to be to avoid the crowds will make your trip much more pleasant.

2. Having done characters both ways (meals and standing in line) you may want to narrow down the most important characters. Then I would see about doing maybe only one or two character meal for those characters to make sure you get to see them. For the rest you can get a GAC that says she can't stand in line or in the sun for a long time. Then you can talk to the CM at the character line and let them know your daughters needs. They can let you sit somewhere else with her and then they will come get you when is a good time. So there is a solution!

Just to be aware - CMs have posted in the past that GACs are not for character waits outside where a character just shows up and starts seeing children. So, you may be told that the GAC is only for those inside (such as the character greeting spots in buildings that are listed on the park maps).
The CM character handler may be able to help you if you ask, but because it is often only one handler with a character or 2, they may have their hands busy just with keeping the line in order and may not be able to give you any special accommodation (although they may allow your child and one member of your party to wait outside of the line while the rest of your party is waiting in the line).

3. If she is going to be in the stroller most of the time, then she can NOT wear shoes in the stroller. We went through this for a long time with my youngest son and he still prefers to NOT wear shoes but won't fight us so much about wearing them as he used to. You could see if she would be ok with some Mickey Kroc's shoes. We bought some AT WDW and my son was way happier about them.

2 very good hints.
I have read that some kids with ASD or sensitivities like Crocs because if the shoes fit the way the Crocs website says to fit them, they don’t really touch the foot except on the bottom.
Do be aware that on Soarin’ shoes that might fall off have to be removed and left on the floor. (Although that might be a selling point for Soarin’ for a child who does not want to wear shoes

6. As for keeping her calm with all the extra stimulai around, try using things like a soft scrap of fabric or a really good quality wash cloth. My son loves to chew on his wash cloth even still and will rub it all over himself to help calm himself. Things like deep pressure like really "big" hugs can help. Do you have an occupational therapist? If you do you can ask him/her for ideas that you can take to the parks with you. There are also some really great books out there with tons of awesome ideas in them that you can try out before you go. It will make your life easier at the parks as well as keep her happier.

If you need a really low stimulation place to lie down or just sit for a while, First Aid in each park is very nice. They have nice firm cots in a dim, cool and quiet area.

7. Meals- My son is the same way about eating. Carrying snacks can help but just be careful she doesn't fill up on them or she won't eat any other food. I would wear a watch and try to track when she gets hungry for the first couple days you are there so you can better anticipate when she might get hungry the rest of the days. You are allowed to bring outside food into the parks if it is for medical reasons. So just let them know it is for your daughters medical needs. I don't know if you are staying on site or not or what hotel but you can look into getting some groceries delivered to save on costs in the parks and luggage fees. We are doing this with things like fruit, soy milk, small snacks, veggies, pull ups, wipes, Ensure, and a case of water. The delivery fee is only $12 through GardenGrocer.com. We are staying at the Caribbean Beach resort which has a mini fridge inside. That should be enough for the few parishable things. If you are staying somewhere else that doesn't have a fridge, you can request one for medical reasons. SPD is considered by most to be a disability. So if that will help you, use it.

WDW doesn’t have any picnic facilities, but you can still bring food inside the parks, even without any special medical needs.
The bag checks as you enter the parks are to look for weapons or things like glass bottles that could be problematic if they break.
So feel free to bring in snacks/food for your child. You won’t be the only one.

All of the WDW Moderate, Deluxe and Home Away from Home (DVC) resorts have refrigerators. The only WDW resort rooms that do not automatically come with a refrigerator are the Value Resorts. Here is a link to a page about resorts so you can see which fit into which category.

 

[staceyhzoo]

Thank you all so much. I know I just worked myself into tailspin for no reason!

Update: We told the kiddos that nana wasn't coming and they were sad,but recovered quickly. They both piped up with Gma can go. (My grandmother, their greatgrandma). My 77 yr old gma, who became a widow last year, who has never been to Disney; SAID YES! I cannot believe it. We had invited her back in Feb and she said no. She's staying for 4 days!! She's renting an ECV.

Shoes: We talked to dd and took her shoe shopping. She picked out some Chuck Taylor's. She has worn them everyday without complaining or whineing. Who knew. I would think they would irritate her, but maybe they are tighter and she likes them. Her OT was suprised too, but if that's what she wants.

We are talking to them everyday about what they can expect and we have to stop; they wake up asking to go to Disney every morning We decided to go to MNNSHP and not go to any parks that day prior. DD is already talking about swimming.

Couple questions:
Can I get a dual use GAC. DD will need to be in her stroller for a large part of the time. She will walk and want out to stretch. We are going to try and use this time for outside characters and shorter wait time rides. If she's doing well can I use the GAC just for her to wait somewhere where it's quieter and maybe in the shade. She doesn't sweat-poor kiddo. Do I need 2 GACs?
I know we can carry meds in the park without issues. She is now on a liquid that has to be in glass. I'll be carrying only what she needs while we are away from the room, but I have broken 2 bottles just in the bag with normal setting it down on the table type stuff. I wrapped it in foam but it's so hard to unwrap and give it to her. Any suggestions?
Last one, can the kiddo's where lifevest from home in pools? DD can swim but if someone bumps her she'll go under and I would feel better if she's wearing it.

Thanks again!

 

[SueM in MN]

Couple questions:
Can I get a dual use GAC. DD will need to be in her stroller for a large part of the time. She will walk and want out to stretch. We are going to try and use this time for outside characters and shorter wait time rides. If she's doing well can I use the GAC just for her to wait somewhere where it's quieter and maybe in the shade. She doesn't sweat-poor kiddo. Do I need 2 GACs?

No, you don’t need 2. Just explain her needs to the CM at guest Relations. They will put whatever stamps on one GAC that will meet her needs.
The stroller as wheelchair part is mostly taken care of with the sticker (in fact, they have sometimes just used the sticker for guests without additional needs).

I know we can carry meds in the park without issues. She is now on a liquid that has to be in glass. I'll be carrying only what she needs while we are away from the room, but I have broken 2 bottles just in the bag with normal setting it down on the table type stuff. I wrapped it in foam but it's so hard to unwrap and give it to her. Any suggestions?

Those sound like not very tough bottles - have you mentioned how easy they break to the pharmacist?
If they need to be in glass, they may be able to give you a thicker glass that will not break as easily.
You could try putting the bottle in a container like a plastic food storage container with a layer of foam under it and a layer of foam on top. That would be easier to open.

Last one, can the kiddo's where lifevest from home in pools? DD can swim but if someone bumps her she'll go under and I would feel better if she's wearing it.

Thanks again!

Not sure if they would let you bring one from home, but we have seen kids in those arm float things.
Also, the resorts have lifevests that are pretty nice. They are foam, covered with a layer of plastic. Just ask.

 

[jimmysmom74]

You can definitely bring and wear your own lifevest for all disney water area including the pools at your resort.

We just went in May with my DS (3) who has SPD and speech delay, he is also extremely hyper(but not diagnosed). Just follow their cues, and have a good time.

 

[staceyhzoo]

update in first post!

 

[Cheshire Figment]

Congratulations on your surviving!