Upcoming cruise but tragic news. What would you do?

Pooh93

<font color=blue>Proud mom of 2 dd's<br><font colo
Joined
Sep 19, 2000
Hugs to your entire family at this difficult time. I can’t add any different advice than what has been given. However if something happened to me prior to a vacation we all had planned, I would want my family to go without me.

As far as the money, there is a solution for everything. I would like to believe that Disney would share a little pixie dust in this type of situation.
Please let us know how it turns out.
 
  • wombat_5606

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    May 17, 2006
    Now in trying to decide what to do, we have been going back and forth but the real kicker came when it dawned on me that if my dad still went, he would have to pay the same price for the room as if my mom were there.
    First, so, so sorry about your Mom. It's never easy to go through this and then try to pick up the pieces of your lives. I would hope that all of you would like to continue on the cruise, though. It will be bittersweet, but can be therapeutic, in my experience.

    First, I would hope you have travel insurance, or at least, some coverage through a credit card where you had purchased your cruise fare. I would contact them now or read through your policy. The coverage may allow your father to keep his cabin and reimburse the funds required to do so. They may also allow him to cancel the trip, if he so desires.

    After you have the information from your insurance and if you need further consideration, then contact Disney or your Travel Agent and see what costs and scenarios are available to you.

    I and my husband no longer have living parents or grandparents. I hope you will have sweet memories to last your lifetime.
     

    Mitura

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Jan 13, 2016
    I am sorry for your loss. This year has been tough for us as well. We lost my mom the day after Christmas and my father 2 days after Father's day. We knew my father was close to the end so that wasn't as much as a shock as was my mom, who passed suddenly.

    But that being said we took a Double Dip this June (Father's Day week) and were informed that he passed on our drive down to Port Caneveral. Nothing we could do. We had prepped my brothers and sisters with the info that if he should pass here's what to do. Some of my siblings took offense that we shoud have turned around and come home where as some encouraged us to continue on our trip.

    We decided to continue. The whole trip I thought about my day and how he worked for the Navy Yard and being on a ship kinda made me feel a little closer.

    I don't know if this helps but I hope you do still cruise and it helps you get thru a tough time. It helped me. You are in my prayers.
     

    kalishea

    Earning My Ears
    Joined
    Aug 19, 2013
    Hi everyone,
    I am overwhelmed by the replies, sympathy and kind words. I wish I could write a personal reply to each of you, but thank you all so much. Reading each one has really helped, especially those who have had similar experiences.

    We are all torn whether to go or not, depending on the moment. Right now we have 20 days to decide. We are trying to leave it up to my dad as we said we would do either. The part of my son bunking with my dad came about when my dad mentioned needing a bunk mate now. With connecting rooms, it would be easy for him to sleep in either cabin, especially if they both have the drop down beds. It's not as much of a financial issue as just a confused emotional issue, although it does sting a little that essentially my dad would be paying for her regardless and she's no longer with us.

    The big benefit of this particular cruise for us was going to be how easy it was supposed to be. We fly to Texas instead of Florida from Utah and that not only is cheaper but a lot faster of a travel day pre and post cruise. Also, with the two CC stops and Key West, it has more relaxing ports of call. We were hoping to get a cabana for one of the days. I imagine though that every part of it will be hard emotionally, like formal night, bingo, dinner, the spa... but I know she would be there with us. If we don't go on this cruise, one day we will go again and I imagine it will be hard still. Same with our first trip to Disneyland without her. Us 5 went everywhere together- from trips and weekend dinners out. We also live next door to one another. I honestly don't know of a closer group. My son is their only grandchild.

    I contacted our TA yesterday and will see if he has any thoughts or ideas. Maybe he will contact DCL and see options? Although they may not care as this cruise is sold out and I'm sure there's a waitlist. I will post back on what transpires and what we decide. If we go, I will also report how it was. Thank you all again! 🥰
     

    Canadian Girl

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Dec 4, 2012
    So sorry for the sudden loss of your mother at such a young age. I personally think you should ask your dad what he prefers to do. Grieving is so individual. He is also quite young, far younger than many grandparents who might not have more opportunities to go again. What a difficult decision. I am sure you are still reeling. OTOH, he may want to get away for a while if the emptiness of not having your mom there wouldn’t overshadow his trip. It’s still early and you have almost three weeks to decide. Maybe wait a few days and see how everyone feels, or reschedule to another date so it doesn’t feel like there’s is someone missing. Again so sorry.
     
  • cedricandsophie

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Apr 8, 2014
    I would definitely do the trip. And pay the 900 extra to put a kid in your dad’s cabin. But that’s me. I celebrate life rather than grieve loss. Maybe you could split the difference with your dad. If it were me I’d want to enjoy the family and while missing my wife/mother know that she would want us to. Nov is a long way off. And you can’t grieve forever.
     

    Lisa F

    is a very wise woman
    Joined
    Feb 22, 2000
    I'm so sorry for your loss.

    I understand that your feelings on the financial thing are tied to it basically being a big fat reminder that your mother is gone and I think that is making harder than just the money itself. I am a single mother and if I want to cruise with my son, I don't get any break for him to cruise... I pay for the double adult fare. It's not personal even though it hurts, it's just the fare structure and if the money were not an actual issue (as in taking away from other important things) I would try to let that part of it go.

    As far as whether to cruise or not at all, everyone has a different way of grieving. Many have people hare shared their own thoughts and experiences and something may have struck a chord for you. Whether it is too soon or not, only you will know in your heart. I wish you and your family peace and love in the difficult days to come.
     

    ruadisneyfan2

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    May 20, 2006
    OP, now that you mention connecting rooms, it isn't such a big decision to make right now whether or not he will bunk with your dad. In reality, he would be free to go in either room. Or maybe a few nights in each. Your dad might appreciate some alone time too.
    The hard decision is whether to cancel entirely, or maybe just your dad, or don't cancel at all. Maybe if it really is $900 more, your dad wouldn't mind paying that portion, and you pay the part that you were expecting to pay for your son. After all he was prepared to pay for 2 guests anyway and you were not prepared to pay $900 more. Actually this way it would cost him less because you are contributing the child's price toward his current bill.
    I would wait until the last possible day to decide though. I know the first week after my mom's funeral I really couldn't think straight. It would have been hard to make any decision at that time. Three weeks later, I was in a much better state of mind even though my dad wasn't. Everyone grieves differently.
     

    vegs1

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    May 28, 2007
    I am so very sorry for you and your family. Such a loss. My own Mom is very frail and I’m told it’s day to day. My Dad died a few years ago. So hard to lose parents.

    I know how much it hurts. However, your cruise isn’t until the end of November. Three months away. By then, possibly it will be nice to go as a family, celebrate that you are all alive and living each day thankfully. Remembering the good times with Mom.

    Your situation may just be the reason why you should go. Life is short. Celebrate that you are here now. Let your family make some amazing memories with their grandfather. . There may be tears remembering that grandma was supposed to be there but that is ok.

    It’s ok to hurt. And it’s equally ok to laugh and have a good time. My mother in law came with us on a Disney cruise after losing her husband. It was hard. But we laughed and remembered.

    I’m sure you will make the decision that’s right for your family. Thinking of you at this difficult time in your life. Remember the good times and hold them close to your heart.
     
  • Stratus22

    Vacation more, Smile Often....
    Joined
    Jan 7, 2015
    I am so sorry for your loss. The Grieving part will be hard and it truly is a long road to adjust. My Mom passed away at the age of 61 unexpectedly back in Sept 2016. We had a cruise set 17 days later and we made the decision to go.....and I'm so glad we did. It made me see life differently, it also slowed down my view of the world and all of the memories I wanted to have with my family. My Mom wanted to go on a cruise and never did. I didn't want that to be us...wanting to do something only to not. The choice is yours but I believe you and your family will have an amazing time and when you look up at the stars, know that she's looking down on you. God Speed...….
     

    lahobbs4

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Jul 20, 2013
    I love hearing how close your family is. I cannot even imagine how many joyful memories you share together! As long as you keep making them with your father, it doesn't matter if it's on this specific cruise or another entirely different vacation. Just keep making a point to include your dad. We went through this in December and it hurts every day. I look forward to a trip report if you can make the cruise work!
     

    ChicosWife

    The Caribbean DCL Life For Us!
    Joined
    Jun 29, 2015
    Is there a possibility that you would want to get a bigger room that all of you can fit in?
     

    Aerodyne78

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    May 24, 2017
    My mom passed away in March, and I had a planned weekend trip to NYC the following weekend. I made the decision to still go because it was nice to just get a way from home for a couple days, and it helped ease the pain a little because it kept me busy. If you can still swing the cost of it, and your mom would still want you to go, then I say go.
     

    BruinEd03

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Jun 23, 2013
    Hi everyone,
    I am overwhelmed by the replies, sympathy and kind words. I wish I could write a personal reply to each of you, but thank you all so much. Reading each one has really helped, especially those who have had similar experiences.

    We are all torn whether to go or not, depending on the moment. Right now we have 20 days to decide. We are trying to leave it up to my dad as we said we would do either. The part of my son bunking with my dad came about when my dad mentioned needing a bunk mate now. With connecting rooms, it would be easy for him to sleep in either cabin, especially if they both have the drop down beds. It's not as much of a financial issue as just a confused emotional issue, although it does sting a little that essentially my dad would be paying for her regardless and she's no longer with us.

    The big benefit of this particular cruise for us was going to be how easy it was supposed to be. We fly to Texas instead of Florida from Utah and that not only is cheaper but a lot faster of a travel day pre and post cruise. Also, with the two CC stops and Key West, it has more relaxing ports of call. We were hoping to get a cabana for one of the days. I imagine though that every part of it will be hard emotionally, like formal night, bingo, dinner, the spa... but I know she would be there with us. If we don't go on this cruise, one day we will go again and I imagine it will be hard still. Same with our first trip to Disneyland without her. Us 5 went everywhere together- from trips and weekend dinners out. We also live next door to one another. I honestly don't know of a closer group. My son is their only grandchild.

    I contacted our TA yesterday and will see if he has any thoughts or ideas. Maybe he will contact DCL and see options? Although they may not care as this cruise is sold out and I'm sure there's a waitlist. I will post back on what transpires and what we decide. If we go, I will also report how it was. Thank you all again! 🥰
    I would leave it up to your dad and vote for going if your dad is on the fence. Your dad could probably use a change in scenery and enjoy the company of family. November 30 is a ways off.

    Provided you are financially able to, I would also suggest picking up 50% of your dad's room or moving your son to your dad's room (which will cause a little bit of issue as your dad would then have to authorize your son getting off the ship or be off at the same time) and picking up the $900.
     

    mommy2allyandaveri

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Sep 19, 2006
    I'm so sorry for your loss. We always cruise with my mom/dad also. I can only say what I think my parents would want. I think they would both want us to still go.
     

    JW9DVC

    Former WDTC Guy
    Joined
    Sep 29, 2007
    It’s a disservice to yourself. Maybe your dad wants to go still. As we age. These are things that happen. Celebrate the life you are living and don’t stop.

    Love life and go. Don’t look back.
     

    mrp4352

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Nov 10, 2002
    I'm so sorry for your family!

    For the financial aspect, if you decide to cruise - You might consider moving yourself or your husband into your father's room in name only. Disney doesn't care where you actually sleep and your charges can still be kept seperate. The only piece you'll need to work around is access to your actual room - which if you've got connector's really isn't an issue.
     

    dprincessmom

    dprincessmom
    Joined
    Sep 4, 2011
    I lost my husband almost 3 years ago (after a 14 month battle) with cancer. During that time we talked everything and he promised me that our daughters would be able to travel the world. Talk to your Dad and see what his thoughts are and then go that route.
     

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