Ungrateful children

[Biscuitsmom31]

We are not an afluent family and we have scrimped and saved for months to take our 4 kids to WDW this August. We went for the first time last year and loved it so much we're going back - even though we didn't really have the money. Last year we gave each of the kids $100 apiece in spending money. We were hoping to do the same this year but ran into some car trouble and other unexpected expenses. I told the kids that we were still going to Disney for 10 days because the trip is already paid for but that we won't have much spending money this year. I guess I'm foolish but I expected them to say "Don't worry mom, we'll be at Disney! What more can we ask for?" WRONG! They all started pouting and trying to get my husband to sell his beloved hunting equipment so they could have spending money. I tried telling them that we would still have fun and eat great food (free dining) but just wouldn't have much money to blow on junk. It didn't help. The youngest started crying and two others stormed off angrily. I feel like cancelling the trip. Where did I go wrong?

 

[mrFDNY]

We are not an afluent family and we have scrimped and saved for months to take our 4 kids to WDW this August. We went for the first time last year and loved it so much we're going back - even though we didn't really have the money. Last year we gave each of the kids $100 apiece in spending money. We were hoping to do the same this year but ran into some car trouble and other unexpected expenses. I told the kids that we were still going to Disney for 10 days because the trip is already paid for but that we won't have much spending money this year. I guess I'm foolish but I expected them to say "Don't worry mom, we'll be at Disney! What more can we ask for?" WRONG! They all started pouting and trying to get my husband to sell his beloved hunting equipment so they could have spending money. I tried telling them that we would still have fun and eat great food (free dining) but just wouldn't have much money to blow on junk. It didn't help. The youngest started crying and two others stormed off angrily. I feel like cancelling the trip. Where did I go wrong?

Hi,
You did not go wrong,all kids are like this at one point or another.You went right,just by taking your kids to disney that is really great of you guys!!Go on the trip,have a blast,they will get over it and trust me they will have a blast at wdw!!!

 

[ndelaware]

Don't be too upset. They are only kids and kids think of themselves first. I am sure they will grow out of it. They have a great example in the parents who give up so much just to take them to Disney World

 

[Rudegrle]

It's just kids. I would not worry, you've done nothing wrong. Once they get to WDW they will forget about the money and have a blast.

 

[wfbnancy]

We have our kids use what they make at our garage sale selling the toys,books etc that they no longer use as their spending money. Perhaps something like that might be a way for them to earn some money. I found that they also tend to think a little harder when it is their money when they spend it. I agree with other posts, kids tend to think of them selves as the center of the universe but in the end usually come around.

 

[Cookie Princess]

I would tell them that they can either go on this vacation with a "happy heart" or stay home with a babysitter. DS is now 11 and has heard the "happy heart" requirement since he was a toddler.

I love the idea of a yard sale. It is great way to get rid of old toys and make them learn about earning a dollar.

I do know how you feel. Sometimes we work so hard to please our kids only to be dissapointed because they feel it isn't enough. AAAHHH!!

 

[donnajon]

I told my kids they could pick out one toy. Whenever they asked for something, I said, "OK, but is that the ONE toy that you want? Don't ask for anything else later on." It really made them think about if it was something they really wanted or if they just wanted it to want it. Most of the time they put it back and said they wanted to wait.

 

[the john]

ITS a stage

 

[ellyn2000]

I agree with the other posters that this is just how kids react sometimes. I also think they have time to try to earn a little spending money if they want some, but I would not tolerate a bad attitude once we arrived. I like the "happy heart" idea. My children always knew without a doubt that a bad attitude is not acceptable and they rarely pushed it. I hope you have a wonderful family trip and your kids may come to realize that souveniers are not the best part of a WDW holiday.

 

[goofydad621]

I agree it is a stage, but it is also a great learning time for them. Life is not about how much for me. The garage sale is a great idea, have them see if there are things they can do to earn money mowing lawns, raking etc if they are old enough.
They will have a great time once they get there and ina way maybe even a better time than if they had money to burn, they mae look at things a little differntly then what else do I want to buy.
Lead by example, don't say I wish I could buy this or that and show them the small things at Disney that money can not buy.

Have a great trip Goofydad

 

[brer rabbit 28]

This past trip i saw kids throwing serious tantrums in shops because they wanted everything on the shelves.It's hard for kids when they see others with something they want,but they will eventually learn that stuff isn't everything.
Like an earlier poster said,look into all the free things at disney,like the kidcot thing they do at world showcase.Maybe collecting autographs and looking for hidden Mickeys.This might take their minds off the expensive souveniers.
If it comes to the crunch take them to one of the disney outlet stores like at premium outlets.They sell a lot of current disney stock but so much cheaper.
Good luck and don't worry.Your kids are so lucky to have such caring parents who will take them to such a magical place.

 

[disneysnowflake]

If your kids get allowance perhaps they should save some each week toward vacation for spending money. My kids do that.

I also think a yard sale is a great idea. Let them find items they own and don't use or want anymore. That will give them their own spending money.

 

[auntpolly]

Don't worry too much -- all kids do stuff like this -- but that doens't mean I wouldn't come down hard on them.

OK, this is just me, take it for what it's worth, but I would make a huge deal of this -- tell them that if attitudes don't change right now we aren't going. I'd tell them outright how ungrateful they are and that there are kids who never get to go -- kids that never could afford to go -- kids that don't have enough to eat at night!!!! I'd lay it on thick. I'd for sure show them how disappointed I was in them.

Seriously, they aren't bad kids, but you have to use this as a learning experience for them. If you let this one get away, it won't be any better the next time something like this comes up.

Hang tough mom -- no one said this parent stuff was going to be easy!

 

[cjb71870]

You're taking your family with 4 kids to WDW for 10 days? That alone is incredible. Some families aren't able to afford a trip at all.

 

[ReneeA]

I agree with the others that it's a stage. How old are they? I have never been one to buy stuff for my kids when we go anywhere...they get special treats or surprises, but I usually pick it up when they aren't with me and bring it home to surprise them with. They also get a lot for Christmas and Birthdays. I am scared to start the "I wants" while in stores. They know with me not to bother even asking...it's not going to happen, and at 3 & 4 we haven't had a temper tantrum yet. I'm sure it'll happen eventually, but trying to keep it to a minimum.

I like the above poster with the happy heart idea.

 

[wendydarling826]

Since I'm a teacher, I can't help thinking like a teacher. This is a "teachable moment" for your kids. There are some really important lessons for them to learn from this situation:
1) Happiness is not found in getting "stuff", but there is much happiness to be found in having fun times with family. One of the most wonderful aspects of a Disney vacation is that there is so much fun to be had that doesn't cost extra money.

2) If they really want more spending money than you are able to provide, there are ways for them to earn it, and anything they purchase with money they've earned will be much more carefully considered and appreciated than stuff they buy with money you hand them.

3) Gratitude. Hopefully, they will see what you have sacrificed to give them such a wonderful gift - a family vacation in a place that many children in the world could not even dream of. The gratitude for such wonderful parents may not kick in until they have kids of their own, but eventually they'll get it.

Set the tone for them by stressing all the fun things to do outside of the gift shops and they'll rise to the occasion! You could always tell them about my poor only child whose first trip to Disney World was a reward from us for her college graduation!

 

[scoolover]

It is not your fault by any stretch. Help them brainstorm on how to raise some spending money. Have a good one.

 

[CaipiraBob]

I guess I'm foolish but I expected them to say "Don't worry mom, we'll be at Disney! What more can we ask for?" WRONG! They all started pouting and trying to get my husband to sell his beloved hunting equipment so they could have spending money. I tried telling them that we would still have fun and eat great food (free dining) but just wouldn't have much money to blow on junk. It didn't help. The youngest started crying and two others stormed off angrily. I feel like cancelling the trip. Where did I go wrong?

I don't know their ages, but I suspect until they are intimately familiar with how household finances work, they will never be able to appreciate the trip. Wealth is all relative until they have a better understanding. They think "Billy-bob's parents bought him one, (ok, yes, we have "Billy-bob's" where I'm from originally) why I can't I get one?")

For our part with our younger children, we've tried to education through similar relativism. Our examples relate how much they can save and how long it takes to the actual cost of things. We'll say, "You know how long it took you to save for that toy? It would take you 100 years to save for a trip to Disney". Now what do you think about us going? They begin to reflect and appreciate that they don't have to wait 100 years to see the mouse again. Lesson learned, albiet we have to repeat it frequently.

 

[WINTER]

Wow, $100 a child (=$400) which seems like a lot if you don't have it to begin with. No flames, but it sounds like they are a bit on the spoiled side.

 

[pepe of ohio]

When our children were still young and living at home, the vacation was enough for them. Disney resort, food, tickets, drinks all paid for by the parents. What extras would they need money for ? Games, game room ! Easily a child could save a few dollars, if they really wanted or had to, for an up and coming vacation. Back when, our kids might spend 5 dollars in a game room every other day and we purchased the T-shirts souvenoirs for all of us. Spending time in the pool, scouring the resorts, strolling DTD or a day or two at a water park was enough for our children.

With the things given to children through birthdays holidays and any extras I feel is enough, they should be glad just to go to WDW for any length of time, moneyless if they didn't save, for there are families that would die just to go for 3 days and not stay on property. 10 days is a big vacation ! Too many children have video games, computers, cell phones etc. all bought and payed for by the parents, to us its way too much and non essential for a teenagers life, what they see and get they only want and expect more. Nows the time to teach the value of a dollar and friverless spending. Rein in the child, make them work for their extra cash and pay for what they have. We've raised 2 children, both college graduates and both married and they have gone on just about every Disney vacation with us and still do. They are teaching their children the value of life and money to be passed on through them to their children. No contempt, no tantrums just the facts of life, which in the long run will make for better adults.