Ungrateful children

[bettyann29]

Dont be too hard on them.. They are kids and acting like a typical child.. I personally think that once they get there they will forget about the souvenir money for the most part.. are you able to maybe just get them one thing each? If not, the garage sale thing sounds like a good idea.. If they recv allowance they could save that until time to go if they want to use that for spending money. If not, as someone else mentioned, have them brainstorm with you on how they can earn some money prior to the trip..

And Disney doesnt make it any easier with all that cool stuff to buy in the parks.. I know when I go I want to bring money for souvenirs too..

 

[mousebit]

I agree with what others have said about encouraging them to save their own money, etc.. But here's what the grammy in me says: 25 years from now they will not remember the stuffed Mickey or the light-up twirly thing. They will remember the fun you had together as a family. And they will realize the sacrifices you made to provide them such an opportunity. PLEASE don't expect them to "get it" now. They're kids. They won't. There's too much temptation all around WDW and it's all overwhelming to them. Just don't let their begging and whining make YOU grumpy. Make sure you keep a "happy heart" while remaining firm and redirecting them to the fun things they are able to do w/o spending $$$.

You can expect their cooperation and respect, but I'm afraid you might have to wait a few years for their gratitude.

Have a magical trip together!

 

[staciepm]

My DD7 and DS4 are earning money for the trip. They will probably have about $20 by the time we go. DD wants a cinderella doll (Barbie)and who knows what DS wants. I have bought a few things at dollar tree to let them have 'something new".

DD7 is getting her $ by reading and taking AR (Accelerated Reader) tests and doing above and beyond chores without being asked. DS 4 has been having trouble in the potty training area UGH. He gets 1 coin for pee and 3 for poop if there have been no accidents. This has done WONDERFULLY with no sugar or candy!

I have also been visiting Creativ Disers board to make our Tshirts for the trip. They have some great ideas.

Good Luck and relax. They don't get the money and that is that.

Stacie

 

[cleo]

I agree with auntpolly. Stage or no stage, I'd come down pretty hard on that sort of thing. It's one thing to whine and stomp your feet for a minute, it's another thing to request someone else sell their belongings so you can have an extra lollypop at Disney.

I honestly don't think it's a 'stage', I think it's the entitlement mentality our kids are getting, partly becuase we can give them so many things and partly because our society tells them they SHOULD get so many things.

I'd come down very hard on this one. It's way beyond just a 'stage' when they want dad to sell his stuff. If this happend with my son, I'd tell him he could choose which of his beloved things he'd like to sell to get another toy at Disney, and then I'd enforce it if he didn't turn 'happy hearted' (Ha! That's a good phrase! ) right quick. He would truly not get one dime out of me for presents when I'm already giving him a trip.

I'll bet gratitude will follow NEXT time you say you're doing something!

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Wow, $100 a child (=$400) which seems like a lot if you don't have it to begin with. No flames, but it sounds like they are a bit on the spoiled side.

No kidding. When I was kid I got maybe $20 and I worked to get it.

 

[snowbunny]

I don't find the OP's post hard to believe at all...this is how kids test their limits and see whether you are really serious. Just yesterday I had to listen to my 12 year old DD stomp around the beach complaining because I insisted we go to the state park, where we have an annual pass, rather than pay $10 to park at the nicer, more exclusive beach.

My view is, we are so lucky to live in a beautiful coastal town and that we bought when it was still affordable! DD's view is, this is the worst place to be in the world, all the cool people are at the other beach and mom is too stingy to pay to go there. Well, suck it up buttercup. As the teacher said, this is a teachable moment. We are not rich and it's time to appreciate all we have.

And speaking as one who has given in from time to time -- it's a bottomless pit with kids. They don't remember or care that last time you did it their way, it's more more more until you put your foot down.

As I frequently tell my DD, some day you will thank me.

 

[bettyann29]

I agree with auntpolly. Stage or no stage, I'd come down pretty hard on that sort of thing. It's one thing to whine and stomp your feet for a minute, it's another thing to request someone else sell their belongings so you can have an extra lollypop at Disney.

I honestly don't think it's a 'stage', I think it's the entitlement mentality our kids are getting, partly becuase we can give them so many things and partly because our society tells them they SHOULD get so many things.

I'd come down very hard on this one. It's way beyond just a 'stage' when they want dad to sell his stuff. If this happend with my son, I'd tell him he could choose which of his beloved things he'd like to sell to get another toy at Disney, and then I'd enforce it if he didn't turn 'happy hearted' (Ha! That's a good phrase! ) right quick. He would truly not get one dime out of me for presents when I'm already giving him a trip.

I'll bet gratitude will follow NEXT time you say you're doing something!

Not sure about everyone else, but when I mentioned a garage sale, I was meaning have them go thru their stuff to sell at the garage sale for their own spending money..

 

[cleo]

I assumed that's what people meant by a garage sale. I'd go one further and tell them YOU will have the final decision on what they can and cannot sell. Kids tend to either want to sell nothing or everything.

I just asked 3 other people if they thought this was a stage and they said No. None of our kids did that (I'm sure they've done other things the OP's kids never would have thought of, though! I certainly don't mean they are perfect. ). Getting presents on vacation just wasn't something our kids thought about when they were told we were going somewhere, especially Disney.

 

[sbpuckett]

I haven't read all of the posts so forgive me if this is just repeating what everyone else has said. I love the garage sale idea - I just recently set up at a flea market to sell some summer stuff for spending money for my own little get away - $100! I am going to do this again in August will Fall clothes and my children have decided that they want to get rid of some toys and old kids movies for spending money to Disney. My oldest (ds6) even wants to go with me.

I would also suggest sitting them down (esp. the older ones) and telling them that if they want spending money then they need to find ways to earn it. Depending on how old they are, maybe they can rake neighbors yards, help carry in groceries (at least to the door), help grandparents around their house, etc. Once they realize how much hard work it takes to earn that money they might even begin to appreciate how expensive the trip itself is costing.

My oldest started about a year ago, I want this, I want that, and got upset if he couldn't have it. Then I started explaining: If you want that, Mommy will have to go back to work and you will have to go to a babysitter. That was more than enough for him to understand that in order for him to have everything he wants, he would have to sacrifice mommy being at home all of the time. It's amazing how much they understand if you put it in their language and on their terms.

Good luck and don't worry, they WILL get over it.

 

[babar41]

Only our children can make us feel like total failures! Lucky for us most of our kids grow up and eventually have children of their own and get to go through what we did with them. It's called Mothers revenge. And it is sooooooo sweeeeeeet.

I agree with other posters who suggest having the children earn their spending money by either working in the neighborhood (mowing grass, babysitting, weeding gardens...) or having a garage sale and selling some of their no longer used toys. Having your DH sell his hunting equipment is definitely NOT an option.

I would sit your children down all together and say "Here is the deal and you have a choice. Our trip is planned for August but due to $$$ issues, we do not have the extra money we have had in the past. You have 3 choices. 1. We can go, without the $$$ for spending money and enjoy WDW without buying souvies. If you choose this option we can search the internet and come up with ideas that we can do that doesn't cost anything, like kidspots at Epcot or autographs from characters. 2. You can earn and save your own spending money for the trip. We can brain storm on how best to do this, maybe have a garage sale where you sell YOUR things. Any money collected at the garage sale for YOUR items would be YOUR spending money for the trip. 3. We can cancel the trip, may loose some $$'s, but put the money in a savings account and perhaps go next year. This option would give everyone a year to EARN their own spending money. So now all 4 of you have 10 minutes to discuss this and tell me which option you choose."

I would then leave the room and let them talk. If they come back with ways YOU can still give them money just say "That is not one of the options. The options are 1. Go this year without the $'s, 2. Go this year and each person EARN their $'s, or 3. Cancel the trip this year. And remember, whatever option you choose, you will do it with a happy heart!"

Good luck. Let us know how it turns out.

 

[daisyduck123]

If they want more spending money, I'd tell them to go thru their rooms & pick out items for a garage sale. We made $900.00 at our garage sale last year...it was all spending money for our Disney trip.

 

[Jerseygirl63]

Since we are DVC members we do visit Disney each year. Ever since our kids were in preschool, we asked them not to "brag" about going to Disney in class since many kids are not able to afford to go. This small lesson has made them very sensitive towards other children. On our last trip to Disney our son was asked by his teacher before we left where he was going and he whispered to her,"I not supposed to tell. I don't want to make other kids sad." She wrote a note to us telling us she was very proud of him. Also we know how $$$$$ souveniers are and we have the kids save their birthday money and tell them to buy one little thing from each park or one big thing for the whole trip. Hang in there. This too will pass!

 

[chrisann]

I think that unless all 4 of your kids are under the age of 5, they should definately know better. Our kids are 6 and 3 and both times we've been to disney, the only things we've gotten while there are 2 mickey bars, and 2 little swords from pirates of carribean, of course, they wanted evrything, but we would remind them that being there was treat enough and plenty of kids and none of their cousins had ever been to WDW and they were fine with that. I'm sorry but your kids behaviour was totally inappropriate especially if they were old enough to know better. Maybe suggest, that if they want to sell some of their favourite things, then they could have spending money.

 

[GalDisney]

You did not say the ages of your children, but are they old enough to babysit for the neighbors, mow lawns, wash cars, etc for their spending money. That would be a good lesson about money.









Lived the first 40 yr. of my life 5 miles from Disneyland!
2004.. First visit to WDW
2004. CBR. OKW
2005. POR, CBR, CR, Boardwalk Villas, POFQ
2006. Wilderness Lodge

 

[pooksma]

Its hurtful when you try to do something special and scrimp and save to get it, only to have yor children be ungrateful (are you listening MOM? I get it now!)

Our DS (5) gets $2 allowance each week for certain chores. We save his birthday $$ and child tax credit (A Canadian gvt cheque) and allow him to bring part of it. Right now he has 1 purchase on his "wishlist"~ a new ballcap.

He is much tighter with his own $$ than ours!

 

[HappyLawyer]

We are not an afluent family and we have scrimped and saved for months to take our 4 kids to WDW this August. We went for the first time last year and loved it so much we're going back - even though we didn't really have the money. Last year we gave each of the kids $100 apiece in spending money. We were hoping to do the same this year but ran into some car trouble and other unexpected expenses. I told the kids that we were still going to Disney for 10 days because the trip is already paid for but that we won't have much spending money this year. I guess I'm foolish but I expected them to say "Don't worry mom, we'll be at Disney! What more can we ask for?" WRONG! They all started pouting and trying to get my husband to sell his beloved hunting equipment so they could have spending money. I tried telling them that we would still have fun and eat great food (free dining) but just wouldn't have much money to blow on junk. It didn't help. The youngest started crying and two others stormed off angrily. I feel like cancelling the trip. Where did I go wrong?

ungrateful is right and they should be ashamed of themselves. Kids have no idea how hard we work or what we go through to keep them happy and provide for them, i would tell them to not bother teir dad anymore or the family can just stay home if they cannot appreciate what you are doing for them

 

[madhouserobey]

dw and i let our three ds8,dd6,ds4 use money from birthdays or x-mas and last year when ds was 7 he really priced things out so he could buy more with his money. by the way i was surprized by this . he also thought of other to buying gifts for other brother and sister ,grandparents ,and his teacher.with the two younger ones they just do not have money concept down yet , but we are working with them.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

I hear ya'!

Our DS9 is one of those who always wants more, even when he already has FAR more than most other kids! And when we try to encourage him to be thankful for what he has he gets mad and says he is a terrible, ungrateful kid and stomps off in a huff! A bit like Veruca in Charlie & the Chocolate Factory.

What's funny is that he really only likes to spend my money (or DH's). When he has his own money he is the biggest miser you have ever seen.

He has $150 Disney Dollars for our August trip, but I have been giving him $ weekly since January. If he had 3 siblings there is no way he would have that much money!

I would explain to your kids that this trip is not about buying more toys. You are going to spend time together as a family, and that is more important than buying a bunch of junk. Will they still pout? Probably. Kids love junk. But try not to take their attitudes personally. Most kids we know are exactly the same way, whether the families have lots of money or not.

 

[cleo]

It's funny to read how 'tight' kids get when it's their own money. This has been my experience with DS, too. He's much more thoughtful about what he buys and has even returned from trips having decided not to buy anything, instead opting to get a new game for his PS2 or a computer game.

Even at a very young age he was far more choosy when it was his own money. He once went an entire 10 days at Disney making hard decisions about whether he wanted lots of small things or the Disney monorail set. On day 9 he bought the monorail.

Good lesson for us parents, hey?

 

[Michele]

My kids are always all about the souveniers whenever we go anywhere. But this last trip to WDW I said enough. They always love all these little things in the store but never use them once we get home. We compromised by taking pictures.

I took pictures of them in funny hats they liked or with cute toys (like the puppets in China). They came home with only Santa Goofy hats and air guns from test track. They didn't miss having any of those other things.

Oh, and we always get lots of pressed pennies they take their own quarters and pennies for those.


The garage sale idea is a great one for them to raise their own money too.