Ungrateful children

[JennyMominRI]

You did nothing wrong. If on your first trip you managed to give each child $100 to spend, more power to you. When we go next summer, if I have $100 to give ds, I will.

I don't even want to say what I gave DS 11 last april..He got spendng money and his Birthday Money..
This trip he gets 50$... They know they get what I can afford

 

[silverspark7]

As someone who used to be (and can still be) a rather ungrateful child, your kids will grow out of it. They'll come to realize all that you have given up for them. Even though they may not show it or say it, they are grateful. Just give them time to start thinking of others before themselves.

In the meantime, I like the garage sale idea! Good luck...

 

[Friendly Frog]

Wow, I didn't read every post, but I can tell that I may get flamed for what I am about to say.

It sounds like you are loving caring parents and your kids are very fortunate. BUT...

I did not see the age of your children, but I really don't think it is a phase. Being disappointed is one thing, but asking your husband to give up something of his...well, that is a big warning sign in my humble opinion. ( I could tell you some real life storys..)

WARNING: MORE PERSONAL OPINION TO FOLLOW

It is never too early to teach children about money. Instead of a free allowance, allowance can be their pay for the chores they do. You can assign chores for ANY age child. Mom and Dad can be bankers, and should not pay for everything all the time. Some toys and other items should be paid for by the kids. My dad did this for me at age 6, and although I did not think it was all that great then, lol, now I know what a kind thing he did for me. As your kids get older, they can do more chores for more pay. This teaches them lessons in life that can not be taught just by telling them. (You will find that those " I need that" items decrease when they have to pay for part or all of the non necessities. )


Please know that I did not want this to sound mean, but so many kids now days really do not understand how hard money is to earn, compared to how easy it is to spend it, and after leaving home are not full prepared for how to say no to themselves when it comes to what they want, vs what they really need to do. My very best wishes to you, and I really hope that I did not sound unkind.

 

[2Princes2Princesses]

My kids get $10 a week allowance and they work for it. Half HAS to go into the bank. We go to Disney yearly, and my 11 yr old son went with 250.00 in May. I was so proud of him.

When we came home??? He had 224.00 left. The kid is a tightwad.

My 13yr old DD? She stayed with her Dad....had 400.00 saved up with bday money and allowance. She now has 36.00. She is NOT a tightwad.

I don't know if it is anything you did or didn't do. It may have just been a knee jerk thing and they will realize how lucky they are to be going. But I agree with the PPs....I would not just let it go, I would talk to them about it.

I am a big meanie, of course....if I had the same scene I would tell them, "Suck it up and get over it, or I won't take you at all." And I would certainly follow through on it. Or, I would tell them...."fine...if 1 of you doesnt go, the rest can have spending money...how about we put all of your names in a hat and whoever I pull out stays home???" I bet they wouldn't risk the trip.

I am sure you will all be seeing me and my kids on Oprah in the near future.

 

[Samantha/NC]

I would say that they are upset b/c you GAVE them $100 spending money last year, so they were expecting that this year. My kids have been saving b-day money and Christmas money all year. My oldest son cuts our grass and we pay him a little, the other two earn $$ also by doing special things around the house--we do not pay them for things that are expected (keeping rooms clean, feeding the dog, setting the table) this will be the money that they take to Disney!

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

When my mother would take Dsis and I to WDW she would only let us each get 1 thing...only ONE! and it worked! we thought about it all vacation, until we got one thing! it was fun looking at everything, but mainly we were too distracted by all the rides and stuff once we go there!!

Stay away from DTD and you will be fine!!

 

[Leofoenget]

You did nothing wrong. If it comes up again, and they start to act like brats, tell them the next kid who gripes stays home and his money goes into the pot for everyone else.

That will shut them up!

 

[artsya3]

Did I read this right and the original message was posted yesturday?

Well, not sure if I have anything else to add but must be a lot of caring people on this board to have six pages filled up in about a day....

Being a Bratty kid myself I can sympathize, although now being a parent with a somewhat bratty kidlol my heart goes out to you,

Maybe your family can chip in , possibly give the kids a chore to do or something around their house and pay them for their time, if you have a 2 year old well terrible 2's ,

I have a 2 and 10 year old,
Maybe there is some contest your son can enter? does he/do they draw or write? or could they , usually some contest is going on for kids to enter (not sure atm so can't post but If I find something I'll keep you in mind.)

Ps, A lemonade / kid toy sale is a great Idea, If not a good area by your house ask a friend or family member to put the stand or/and sale by them for the kids. tc , All will work out like it should,, Amen

 

[TheZeppo]

You're kids aren't perfect little angels, welcome to the world of parenting.

 

[catbertdave99]

More encouragement for the OP -- what a great thing you are doing by taking your kids to WDW in the first place!

I agree with many of the other replies -- it's a phase.

Having said that, as a single dad raising two sons (DS15 and DS12), money is not all that plentiful in our household. Our trips to WDW are difficult to afford. I do what I can do for them financially without being ridiculous, and they're getting old enough to understand there's a lot I just can't do. I applaud you for saving up for this trip, and I guess my reassurance to you is to go and know that your family will have a great time. More power to you for being up front with them -- lots of great ideas have been mentioned for them to raise some money themselves. Regardless, you'll be at Disney with them -- and it will be wonderful!

Best of luck to you -- your kids are ok, but you're doing fine too!

 

[pixistix]

I think in general, kids don't understand (nor do they want to) the concept of money and its value. For our Disney trips we've always paid the girls in Disney Dollars for chores done, birthdays and holidays so they have their own spending money. How much they have depends on how much they help around the house. Then when we get there, I don't have to hear "mommy, I want...." They have their own money and need to make choices about what they want to spend it on. I only warn them by telling them they have four parks to go to plus DTD, so they should save some money for each. Since it is so late in the game for you and your family to do something like this, I like the idea of the yard sale.

 

[Boncho]

My son is an only child so it is hard not to spoil him. Whenever we go on vacation he knows that he has to save for his spending money. Well, he is a great saver, he already has $200 for his spending $ for next year. Needless to say, he will only be allowed to take half that much and I know he will only spend half his money. Starting when he was small, we have tried to teach him the value of the almighty dollar. If he asks me to buy him something ( which is actually very rarely) , depending on the dollar amount , he is told how much he has to save for part of it and we tell him how much we will chip in. My son plays golf,baseball,ball hockey and rep hockey in the winter. He knows that hockey alone costs ALOT!!!!! of money. We are not rich so when I tell my son that we can't afford something , he is OK with it and starts planning on how he can save the money himself. I am very proud of him.

 

[hsmamato2]

And OP, don't worry, your kids aren't deprived if you choose to limit their money, or give them none extra at all, including dsd... my kid is 13, got 2.50 each week in allowance,(does an amazing amount of work for this) and had saved just from his allowance $100 to go to Disney last year... and of course, spent less than half, his own money is always precious to him!
And we make no exceptions! That $$$ he gets each week he buys his own toys, video games with, and saves for special things, like Disney.
Life is much easier when your kid starts the "I wants" and you can casually say..." great! just save your money,and let me know when we should come back and get it!"
works for ds6 too....

 

[Todd&Copper]

I don't think it is a "stage." When my family lived in S. FL and made two or three short trips to WDW a year, DSis and I each got $20 to spend on souvies. Since our family consisted of DMom, DDad and DNana, we each split the money among gifts for 5 people (everyone else int he family and ourselves). No one told us we had to do it, it just seemed right. And we're not overly religious or anything like that, and we never felt pressure to do anything like this. We just felt like the vacation was for everyone, so everyone should get a small momento. And DSis was 7 and I was 9. Sometimes, Mom amd Dad would get us a special souvie - like a necklace or T-shirts or hats - but we didn't ask for them, they were a surprise.

 

[Sue Sullivan]

I know in our family, we talk a lot about "choices". Took my two to the playground yesterday and they wanted an ice cream on the way home. I told them we could do that, but if we did we would not have that money to pay to go to the pool on Tuesday. They chose the pool. They know they can't have it all.

 

[pamouselover]

I think you just take me instead and I promise to not beg for anything!

 

[pixiewytch]

Wow, your kids don't know how lucky they are! When I was little we could only afford a trip to WDW maybe once every few years. We even lived in Fl and that trip was only for the day. We could never, ever afford to stay on property. Anyway, I remember looking forward to those visits for months. My brother and I were lucky if our parents bought us a $10 souvenir before we left and let me tell you, we treasured that item for a long time. I can still remember my first one...a yellow plastic snow white vanity set.

Anyway, my point is that a trip for 10 days is generous, $100 a child for spending money lavish...by all means if someone can afford it I'm not begrudging their decision to offer that. I know I can afford just a little bit more than my own parents now that I have children...but still...don't feel one bit bad about it.

It sounds to me from their reaction that maybe they NEED to earn the spending money this time around through the suggestions some others have made...and if it were me I wouldn't hesitate to wake them up to the reality that a lot of families can't afford Disney at all, not even for a day. The cost of going there itself has become quite a luxury for many.

Anyway, have a great trip!!

 

[Ride Junkie]

Just last night I was out shopping, and a little boy was having a complete MELTDOWN because his mom put a toy back that he wanted. For about 5 minutes, I heard nothing but (in a loud wailing voice), "Nooooo, mom, don't put the Indian toy baaaaaack!" How this woman maintained her composure is beyond me. But she didn't give in, and hopefully her kid will learn that screaming in a store gets you nowhere. If I had acted like that, I would have been unconscious.

But seriously...OP, I hope your kids get the message. I know it's hard not to spoil them, but it's better to break them of it now than later on when they expect everything to be handed to them! I was never able to go to WDW until I was older (31 to be exact) and able to pay my way!

 

[hollyb]

Maybe you could have approached it in a diferent way. You made it sound like the vacation is ruined. JMHO Kids only react to how you say things. I bet you will all have a great time. Chin up and good luck.

 

[Hixski]

I am glad to see so many parents that actually make their children do something to earn some money. Chores, etc. I have seen so many kids lately that are going into complete meltdown everywhere we go because they are not getting everything they want. I was beginning to wonder if there were any non spoiled kids left. My DH and I were leaving a Target store the day after Christmas this past year and a boy about 8 or 9 was having a meltdown out in the parking lot. He just kept whining at his mother " You never get me anything. I don't have any toys and on and on." This is the day after Christmas. Talk about ungrateful.