Underage Drinking Questions?

[ugadog99]

This whole drinking thing is the very reason my 19 year old freshman HATES staying on campus on the weekends. She comes home every Friday because the weekends at her very small school are spent in a drunken stupor or being the designated driver. Neither option appeals to her, so she comes home. I'm hoping that when she moves to main campus there will be more non-alcohol activities for her to enjoy. OP, I would be very careful about attending the underage parties.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

oops

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

I like the analogy to being at an adult party where children are. They aren't going to haul away the kids as accomplices to alcohol.

Have you ever seen in the police listing in the paper someone arrested for being in a room with drunk people? I live in a university town and lots of drunk in publics are listed. But I've never seen an underage non possession.

As the parent of a college kid if res life or the local police called me to say my underage kid had been caught not drinking at a party, I'd say "Great."

Are you all familiar with the Amethyst Initiative. It is a discussion to look at drinking laws. Interesting discussion on both sides.

That's my thought as well. I can't control anyone but myself and the idea that I should be able to is ludicrous.

 

[disneymarie]

Any parent you know that got the calls from the college and saw their kids with real legal problems will likely have hefty bills. There are alcohol classes they have to take, and pay for. It is on their record, attorney and court fees.

For the parent that their legal age child bought the alcohol, there are criminal charges and jail time. Heaven help if anyone over drinks, gets harmed. One off campus party ended with a friend of my dd gang raped.

It was a horrendous site, and they were the star sport players.....
It is an entirely different world any more parents!!!!!!!!

I went back as a 50 yr old to finish my dual BA...the kids came to class in PJ's if they showed up. Wanted to copy my notebook, want me in study groups because I never missed a class. I had a difficult time with three classes and family.

Just because it is college and away from adult supervision is no reason to put someone that has enough sense to not get involved in jeopardy of legal and college actions.

I don't get adult drunks....and I certainly don't agree with parents that allow the kids to drink and get STUPID.
As I type I can see so many kids over the years lost to being stupid in many ways.

It is gut wrenching. The last girl I was giving CPR to was blue lips and ashen, her mother was a friend and school teacher. The girl, was in college to be a Social worker and psychiatrist.
Had I not been there as fast as I was, the friend would have been burying her daughter.

My co-workers son, a recent college graduate working as a school wrestling coach, drank so much a few years ago he threw up and asperiated. He was found gone in the morning......Good parents with good kids, and we lose them. If not by their own stupidity, by others. Ever have a teen driving a car of drunks, can you saw distraction and accidents?

Be your child’s parent, not buddy. They just have been far too sheltered then we were growing up. We call them mature, they are not. Peer pressure, college environment, it happens.

Why do they need to party like animals and drink? Didn't we outgrow that mentality years ago?

 

[Teacher03]

Yes, you can get in trouble! My son (19) was charged this summer. He had no beer in his hand, was not drinking, but because there was beer in the house and he was in the house he was charged with possession. He had been at the house for about 15 minutes. The circumstances led to it...another kid at the house got into a fight, but they had no sympathy for anyone there. First time in trouble, ever, but got sentenced to 50 hours community service and paid a $250.00 fine. It was a learning experience, that's for sure.

 

[Callie]

Well all of this takes place off campus as we really don't have any on campus housing, so not really sure how the school could really get on our case, but I'm sure there is a way. I guess I need to be extra careful, I honestly don't want to get into trouble, but I also want to hang out with my friends. It seems most college kids do drink, but I don't for many reasons. Thanks for all the advice.

 

[Teacher03]

Well all of this takes place off campus as we really don't have any on campus housing, so not really sure how the school could really get on our case, but I'm sure there is a way. I guess I need to be extra careful, I honestly don't want to get into trouble, but I also want to hang out with my friends. It seems most college kids do drink, but I don't for many reasons. Thanks for all the advice.

You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. Good luck, and be careful. If you are at a party and the drinking gets out of hand, or there is any kind of fighting, etc. just leave.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

You might want to find groups to be involved in. Honestly, except for one roommate in college, nobody I hung out with liked to party or drink, but we still had a lot of fun. I was very involved with my campus's Catholic Newman Center and we had a great time without imbibing. Another group that was a good one was Alpha Phi Omega- a co ed service fraternity. The only event we ever had alcohol at was our formal and it was served only to people who were over 21.

Both of these groups had social events going on pretty much every weekend, and we would hang out together as friends. Look into groups that interest you. I'm sure you will be able to find a group of like minded people to hang out with.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

I don't see what wearing pajamas to class has to do with underage drinking.

And PJs are comfy. There isn't usually a dress code.

 

[barkley]

I like the analogy to being at an adult party where children are. They aren't going to haul away the kids as accomplices to alcohol.

Have you ever seen in the police listing in the paper someone arrested for being in a room with drunk people? I live in a university town and lots of drunk in publics are listed. But I've never seen an underage non possession.

As the parent of a college kid if res life or the local police called me to say my underage kid had been caught not drinking at a party, I'd say "Great."

Are you all familiar with the Amethyst Initiative. It is a discussion to look at drinking laws. Interesting discussion on both sides.

they may not list in in the regular newspaper but the university newspaper dh brings home each week lists these under the campus blotter and then under the disciplinary calendar. tends to be more listed when school starts up b/c the students just don't believe it's ever pursued-then they see some of their friends hauled before the disciplinary council or tossed out of the dorms and they realize the university does take enforce.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

^^ I don't understand the point of that. If it's not illegal for an adult to drink, it shouldn't be against policy for a 20-yr-old to be in the presence of an adult who is drinking.

Do they forbid anyone under the age of 21 to go to a professional sporting event? What if the complete stranger sitting next to them is drinking a beer? That's hardly 'possession'.

 

[barkley]

Well all of this takes place off campus as we really don't have any on campus housing, so not really sure how the school could really get on our case, but I'm sure there is a way. I guess I need to be extra careful, I honestly don't want to get into trouble, but I also want to hang out with my friends. It seems most college kids do drink, but I don't for many reasons. Thanks for all the advice.

check your college's behavioural code-dh's extends it's expectations beyond the geographical campus. the student's represent the university both on campus and off-the university expects them to behave accordingly.

i think more schools in general may be doing this-the highschool in the town we used to live in got national attention few years back b/c of an issue involving students who broke the behaviour code off campus at a private party. they were stupid and posted photos on myspace or facebook and the school found out and took disciplinary action. the parents were livid and took the school to court but the courts upheld the school's actions. the students (and in the case of those who were minors, their parents as well) had signed agreements upon enrollment that bound the students to the behavioural code on campus and off, and that agreement was legaly binding and enforceable. in the case of a college, that agreement is often part of the paperwork you fill out when you make application to attend.

 

[barkley]

^^ I don't understand the point of that. If it's not illegal for an adult to drink, it shouldn't be against policy for a 20-yr-old to be in the presence of an adult who is drinking.

Do they forbid anyone under the age of 21 to go to a professional sporting event? What if the complete stranger sitting next to them is drinking a beer? That's hardly 'possession'.

the rules apply to privatly held parties or gatherings. otherwise if it's legal in an establishment or at an event for an underage person to co-mingle with a legal drinker it's not against the code.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

Interesting. I hate the way people try to control our lives when it's really not their place to try to do so.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

^^ I don't understand the point of that. If it's not illegal for an adult to drink, it shouldn't be against policy for a 20-yr-old to be in the presence of an adult who is drinking.

Do they forbid anyone under the age of 21 to go to a professional sporting event? What if the complete stranger sitting next to them is drinking a beer? That's hardly 'possession'.

In this case you are talking guilt by association. Presumably at adult establishments you have people checking IDs and those who are imbibing are of legal age. At wild parties, that is most often not the case. This is an entirely different ind of gathering than say your parents' house during a cocktail party. You have a large mix of kids, some of whom are of age and some of whom are not. Many of those who are not are going to be drinking, probably the vast majority. So rather than try to figure out who is and who isn't, the police and/or university are going to treat everybody the same. The line of thinking is that if you are there you are aware there is underage drinking going on and by your presence you are participating in it.

 

[barkley]

Interesting. I hate the way people try to control our lives when it's really not their place to try to do so.

it's "their place" because the individual has been told in advance that these are the behavioural standards of students at the university, aknowledged understanding them, and agreed to uphold them as a condition of attendance. no one has held a gun to their head and forced them to sign, the rules are provided in their application packet and on the websites, they are instructed to read them before applying- if they don't want to follow the school's rules they can seek their education elsewhere.

 

[MichelleVW]

i think that is a little harsh. most people are in college to do both. and in fact, most people do both pretty well. at least the ones that i partied with.

Exactly! My DD is a freshman at UT (HOOK EM!!) and while she spends a crazy amount of time in the library studying she also goes to parties. No reason you can't do both..

I don't see what wearing pajamas to class has to do with underage drinking.

And PJs are comfy. There isn't usually a dress code.

I don't know if DD has worn her pj's to class, but I know she has worn them to the dining hall to eat!!

 

[Green Tea]

they may not list in in the regular newspaper but the university newspaper dh brings home each week lists these under the campus blotter and then under the disciplinary calendar. tends to be more listed when school starts up b/c the students just don't believe it's ever pursued-then they see some of their friends hauled before the disciplinary council or tossed out of the dorms and they realize the university does take enforce.

Interesting. I am curious as to what school has the time or resources to take every student at ANY party to task because alcohol was present. Leader's of a fraternity serving underage kids, drunk freshmen sneaking alcohol into the dorm, hazing in a rush event....sure. But if a college truly took every kid who was exposed to alcohol but not partaking of it to JC, when do they have time to teach?

Also, attempting to discipline those who are being responsible is ridiculous. Colleges SERVE alcohol to students. They aren't serving it to minors, but the underage kids are there.

 

[Art 1]

I started attending college this fall. Over break, i've attended my first two "college parties". Most of the people there weren't of legal age to be drinking, but they were. I on the other hand, do not drink. Could I still get in trouble for being at these parties? Even if there is zero alcohol in my system?

I doubt that the people on this forum can answer your question with the real facts. You would need to ask a lawyer in your state what the laws are.

 

[Rora]

Thanks. So far from what I've goggled, as long as I'm not holding a drink, and do not have any in my system, I should be ok.
The first time was a total shock. I had went out to dinner with a bunch of girls, and when we went back to one of their apartments, people began taking shots, and all these other people showed up. It turned into a full out party. I had to wait for a ride to come pick me up.

I think you are correct. I went to UF and did not drink. Of course, UF is a HUGE party school and it was hard to escape the drinking.

OP- you will find (if you haven't already) that's it's best to avoid these situations and parties as they aren't fun and unsafe.

Hope you enjoy college!!