Unconventional Parents?

[Missy1961]

I was wondering the same thing so I searched to see if she mentioned where she lives. She lives in NYC.

I thought she said she lives "outside NYC, very close to LI" which confuses me. Because NYC flows right into Long Island. And NYC and LI are not strangers to tattoos, or any kind of 'unconventional' parenting.

 

[KennesawNemo]

I have no tattoo. I want one a lot but probably will never get one. The fear is that my mom will never ever talk to me again. Yes, I am in my mid-thirties, but I still want to talk to my mom.

I think I am very conventional. I prefer my son to have a very structured learning environment.

 

[bcla]

On the subject of tats, there's a cashier at a Costco I frequent a lot who has a conspicuous tattoo. She's a light skinned black woman, typically has her hair in long corn rows, and the tattoo is of a cartoonish looking character carrying a semi-automatic handgun. I'm a bit surprised that they ever hired her, although she's been nothing but professional while I've been there.

As far as unconventional parents go, recently we went with our kid on a preschool outing. We were sitting near a man who was proudly talking about his daughter. And occasionally he's start mentioning things about "my husband" and then I noticed. Nobody really batted an eye though. My kid played with their kid just fine and one of the dads was pulling kids in a wagon and having a good time. It turned out to be no big deal, although such an arrangement might have turned heads 30 years ago.

 

[bcla]

I thought she said she lives "outside NYC, very close to LI" which confuses me. Because NYC flows right into Long Island. And NYC and LI are not strangers to tattoos, or any kind of 'unconventional' parenting.

Brooklyn and Queens are technically part of Long Island.

 

[LisaR]

I am pretty sure that my friend who went camping many, many kilometers from people, without a cell phone, and birthed her third baby in a stream of cold mountain run off and then stayed there for the first three months of the baby's life (with Dad and two older brothers) would still be considered unconventional, but beyond that, I really do not know.

Now that's unconventional! I honestly don't know how someone with tattoos would be considered unconventional.

I follow a blog of a family who lives on a boat with their two young children. I think that is pretty unconventional, but even that isn't earth shattering in my opinion.

 

[DawnM]

Unconventional does not just mean tats, maybe OP doesn't understand that.

Well, the OP pretty much said she has a lot of tattoos and that makes her unconventional.

I'm still wondering where she lives that this is the case

 

[shoney]

I thought she said she lives "outside NYC, very close to LI" which confuses me. Because NYC flows right into Long Island. And NYC and LI are not strangers to tattoos, or any kind of 'unconventional' parenting.

I tend to disagree about LI. Long Island differs greatly by neighborhood.

It would be hard to compare Roosevelt to Roslyn or Mastic Beach to Manhasset.


I could think of many Long Island towns where a mom may be judged for having a certain "look". While it isn't fair or right, I could see it happening right in my own neighborhood.

 

[Missy1961]

Brooklyn and Queens are technically part of Long Island.

I'm aware of that, I live there. I was being a little funny when I said "flows". I guess a joke doesn't work when you have to explain it.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Unconventional does not just mean tats, maybe OP doesn't understand that.

I agree that is not all it means or can mean. And I think actions tend to be a bigger marker of "unconventional" than any appearance based thing. But OP seems focused on the tats

Maybe she will come back and explain better. One can hope.

 

[MinnieLovesMickey12]

I think I am a little different as well. I have tattoos. But I also let me kids express themselves through their own appearance.

My DD13 has bright firey artificially red hair with the sides of her head shaved and bleached blonde. She has 4 ear piercings and 3 cartilage piercings in each ear.

Ppl never think she is only 13 because she is 5 foot 9 and weighs 150 pounds. She looks grown.

But I don't try to make her feel out of the ordinary.

 

[NFLDERS]

Well, it kind of depends on what you consider conventional. These days the trend seems to be attachment parenting/helicopter parenting; is that "conventional" because it's what the majority of folks do now (at least in my area) or "unconventional" because it's not what our parents did? Since I mainly do things the way my parents did (with a few minor updates) does that make me conventional or unconventional?

Regardless, I am unguiltable. No one has ever yet tried to guilt me. A friend did try to pull a "Feber method is evil" on my DH, and failed, but she wouldn't have done so with me (as she knows I'm not nearly as nice as he is).

I don't know what tattoos have to do with parenting. I do admit to judging people who get them in obvious locations, but only with respect to the level of professional accomplishment they will be able to achieve.

What is the Feber Method? Why would that person say the method is evil?

 

[NHdisneylover]

What is the Feber Method? Why would that person say the method is evil?

It is a version of the cry it out method of getting babies to sleep.

 

[NFLDERS]

It is a version of the cry it out method of getting babies to sleep.

Gotcha, thanks.

 

[Pumpkin01]

Ok, so here is my thing. As usual some people have taken the opportunity to assume that I am insecure, or there is something wrong with my personality lol. People who make those assumptions are USUALLY the ones with personality issues, coming on these boards and attacking and/or assuming something about someone in a negative manner just shows a sheer lack of character. I just started this thread to see if there are any other parents that are different, and do things differently. Somehow this turned into a thread about tattoos, but it was meant to be more than that lol! Sure, tattoos are more mainstream now but how many people are actually heavily tattooed? This is a lifestyle choice that I love, and have no regrets about..sure people look I am used to that and many times people stop and ask me about them. My point was that everyone judges everyone sure, BUT at what point do we ask ourselves am I making the correct assumption about someone? It seems to me some people on these boards are perfect examples of what I am talking about, thanks for validating my point!

 

[soccerdad72]

I can't say I've ever stopped to think about whether I'm a conventional parent or not.

 

[Pumpkin01]

MinnieloveMickey...you sound like my kind of gal!! lol

 

[Justmeandnooneelse]

Ok, so here is my thing. As usual some people have taken the opportunity to assume that I am insecure, or there is something wrong with my personality lol. People who make those assumptions are USUALLY the ones with personality issues, coming on these boards and attacking and/or assuming something about someone in a negative manner just shows a sheer lack of character. I just started this thread to see if there are any other parents that are different, and do things differently. Somehow this turned into a thread about tattoos, but it was meant to be more than that lol! Sure, tattoos are more mainstream now but how many people are actually heavily tattooed? This is a lifestyle choice that I love, and have no regrets about..sure people look I am used to that and many times people stop and ask me about them. My point was that everyone judges everyone sure, BUT at what point do we ask ourselves am I making the correct assumption about someone? It seems to me some people on these boards are perfect examples of what I am talking about, thanks for validating my point!

Who attacked you? It seems to me that you ARE insecure. I can't see your tattoos, and I don't care about them. You seem very defensive.

 

[RitaE]

I'm still having a hard time equating tattoos, even if you are so covered with them that you could sideline as a Circus sideline act, with how you are an Unconventional Parent.

Parenting has to do with how you direct the growth of your children, not with how you yourself look or act in your own social setting.

So what exactly do you DO that is unconventional? What do your children DO that is unconventional?

 

[Pumpkin01]

Clearly you missed the point, and the circus sideline act was completely unnecessary. Maybe I should just delete this thread bc this has turned into people arguing and that is not what I am about.

 

[Hrhpd]

I could care less if somehow has tattoos, etc most of the time. I only would think poorly of someone with very violent images displayed.

But normal stuff? Nah, I don't care. They aren't my thing, but they do not make someone a bad person. It is just a style choice, like a gazillion other style choices.


It seems like tattoos have become extremely common pretty much anywhere I have been in the US in the last few years (rural, urban, north, south, you name it). If you are truly getting a lot of stares and looks and not just running into the occasional judgmental idiot, it might be wise to stop and think if there is anything ELSE going on that maybe the root cause that you are not noticing. Maybe ask some trusted friends or something. I just don't think tattoos are enough "out there" to be a blip on most people's radar anymore, you know?

exactly

Tattoos are too mainstream nowadays to elicit anything more than a 'tut tut' from the middle age country club sector.