Un-Tangled-Getting My Life Back....PTR!! TR Started! 5/30

[Alysa]

Oh my dear. Sending prayers for you and your mum in this hard time.

 

[lovethattink]

Praying for you and your mom. I'm so sorry.

 

[MEK]

I know I posted this on FB, but I just want to say again how terribly sorry I am to hear that your mom's cancer has progressed. You will both be in my thoughts and prayers during the days ahead.

 

[jedijill]

to you and your Mom.

Jill in CO

 

[Millie12591]

Sorry to hear about your Mum. You've done so well with your weight loss, you can probably afford to take it easy with that for a while to take of her. I'll be thinking of you and your family

Camille,
Thinking about you and your mom. Truly bad news, but like you said you both are tough and sending you prayers and support to get through every day.

God bless you. I will think of you often, and keep you, your mom, and your family in my prayers.

Oh my dear. Sending prayers for you and your mum in this hard time.

Praying for you and your mom. I'm so sorry.

I know I posted this on FB, but I just want to say again how terribly sorry I am to hear that your mom's cancer has progressed. You will both be in my thoughts and prayers during the days ahead.

to you and your Mom.

Jill in CO

Thank you all so much.
I wish I had it in me to say much more than this, I'm just kinda whooped mentally. I never thought I would be hoping for one cancer over another for any one, let alone my mom. Again thank you.
My love to you all, you are the best Dis family a girl could ever have or hope for.

 

[Millie12591]

Howdy my Dis brothers and sisters ,

I just wanted you all to know I truly feel your prayers, I thought this week would have been harder to get through than it actually has. Thursday was draining, but good, I took my mom in for both biopsies, lung and bone. She did rather well considering how much crazy pain she's in, I don't know how she does it. She'll let out a yelp when ever she moves because of pain, but is quick to reassure everyone that she's okay and that it's juts apart of what she's going through.
The oncology Dr. wanted mom to come in for radiation after her biopsies, I'm not sure how the heck they thought she'd be able to do that. She didn't go in for the biopsies until about 11:30 and then had to stay at the hospital for observation until 5. I'm sure they were thinking on how fast they could start getting my mom out of pain by starting radiation right away.
Praise the Lord we got a bit of a break and didn't have to go in Friday since they won't start new radiation on a Friday, so we'll start it on Monday and every day for a while, of course depending on the biopsy results too. I guess if it comes back as the breast cancer that has spread she can live a long time on treatments, 15-20 yrs. or so long as she can take a dose of radiation and chemo once every three weeks. If it's the lung I'm not sure there is a lot they can do, but we'll just have to wait and see.

One thing I've learned from the last time I helped mom out with appts. is that I HAVE to take care of me and not neglect my family, last time I gave up all my exercising and pretty much taking care of me and some times the family/house, for four months. This time I managed to take food with me, and as bad as I felt for doing it, I left my mom at the hospital around 2:40 to make a mad dash to get something special for Mackie and I to celebrate Valentine's Day.

I think I did a pretty good job in the short time I had. I managed to get to Whole foods for our favorite bread, some veggies and super greens-for my protein shake in the morning, then to Costco for my chicken (I have to have for the week), some steaks for Mackie and I and some flowers to give to her. I also had just enough time to get to Everything Bundt Cakes and picked up a few of the bundtini's that Mackie loves, made it home to put the cold stuff in the fridge and picked Mackie up right on time! I didn't want Mackenzie to feel slighted in any way and since her daddy isn't in town I certainly didn't want her to feel like she was pushed to the side due to grandma's health issues, which I know she felt at times in the past. Although she would never admit it or say anything except to be understanding and sweet about it, bless her heart.

I have to pick Mackie up from school around 4, so my brother had to be the one to come and get my mom from the hospital, I'm just so grateful for the help this time, in the past I was doing it all by myself, for four months non-stop.
Since I had a day to myself yesterday I did a little shopping for the trip, I found the pink dress I gave the link to on sale at Macy's and in the size I project I'll be able to wear when I go on the trip, but I'm starting to second guess if I'll make it down another 15-20 lb. by then so I'm thinking of taking it back.
I don't plan to derail from my eating healthy, but I'm not sure how much exercising I'll consistantly be able to get in with my mom's health and my taking her everyday to appts. for a while.
I'm not waivering from thinking I'll go on the trip, as selfish as I feel about it, but I feel if I don't have the trip to look forward to I might crumble in just about every direction, weight, eating, good out look on things. I know it sounds stupid, but sometimes having something like this to hold on to helps pull me though, in some strange way. I know, I don't pretend to understand it either, I certainly don't expect you to. Although, if anyone is going to understand it, it would be my Dis brothers and sisters.

Sorry to babble away, I better get. Mackie is at practice since it's contest season for dance and I have to get lunch to her. Hope y'all had a great Valentine's Day and have a great weekend.

 

[MEK]

I am glad that your mom did well with her biopsies and will be starting radiation next week. And I'm glad you took a little time for yourself, too.

I understand what you mean about holding onto the trip. You should definitely not let that go.

And - hey - if you can't exercise now like you want to, well you just can't do everything. No one can.

 

[Millie12591]

I am glad that your mom did well with her biopsies and will be starting radiation next week. And I'm glad you took a little time for yourself, too.

I understand what you mean about holding onto the trip. You should definitely not let that go.

And - hey - if you can't exercise now like you want to, well you just can't do everything. No one can.

Thank you Mary Ellen, it's good to know I'm not alone in my thinking when it comes to holding on to our trip.
I hear what you are saying about the exercise, it's just hard to let it go when I've come so far, I feel like I can almost see the finish line, so close to be so far away. Oh well, I'll get there eventually.

 

[eandesmom]

Howdy my Dis brothers and sisters ,

I just wanted you all to know I truly feel your prayers, I thought this week would have been harder to get through than it actually has. Thursday was draining, but good, I took my mom in for both biopsies, lung and bone. She did rather well considering how much crazy pain she's in, I don't know how she does it. She'll let out a yelp when ever she moves because of pain, but is quick to reassure everyone that she's okay and that it's juts apart of what she's going through.
The oncology Dr. wanted mom to come in for radiation after her biopsies, I'm not sure how the heck they thought she'd be able to do that. She didn't go in for the biopsies until about 11:30 and then had to stay at the hospital for observation until 5. I'm sure they were thinking on how fast they could start getting my mom out of pain by starting radiation right away.
Praise the Lord we got a bit of a break and didn't have to go in Friday since they won't start new radiation on a Friday, so we'll start it on Monday and every day for a while, of course depending on the biopsy results too. I guess if it comes back as the breast cancer that has spread she can live a long time on treatments, 15-20 yrs. or so long as she can take a dose of radiation and chemo once every three weeks. If it's the lung I'm not sure there is a lot they can do, but we'll just have to wait and see.

Praying for good news and strength.

One thing I've learned from the last time I helped mom out with appts. is that I HAVE to take care of me and not neglect my family, last time I gave up all my exercising and pretty much taking care of me and some times the family/house, for four months. This time I managed to take food with me, and as bad as I felt for doing it, I left my mom at the hospital around 2:40 to make a mad dash to get something special for Mackie and I to celebrate Valentine's Day.

I think I did a pretty good job in the short time I had. I managed to get to Whole foods for our favorite bread, some veggies and super greens-for my protein shake in the morning, then to Costco for my chicken (I have to have for the week), some steaks for Mackie and I and some flowers to give to her. I also had just enough time to get to Everything Bundt Cakes and picked up a few of the bundtini's that Mackie loves, made it home to put the cold stuff in the fridge and picked Mackie up right on time! I didn't want Mackenzie to feel slighted in any way and since her daddy isn't in town I certainly didn't want her to feel like she was pushed to the side due to grandma's health issues, which I know she felt at times in the past. Although she would never admit it or say anything except to be understanding and sweet about it, bless her heart.

I have to pick Mackie up from school around 4, so my brother had to be the one to come and get my mom from the hospital, I'm just so grateful for the help this time, in the past I was doing it all by myself, for four months non-stop.
Since I had a day to myself yesterday I did a little shopping for the trip, I found the pink dress I gave the link to on sale at Macy's and in the size I project I'll be able to wear when I go on the trip, but I'm starting to second guess if I'll make it down another 15-20 lb. by then so I'm thinking of taking it back.
I don't plan to derail from my eating healthy, but I'm not sure how much exercising I'll consistantly be able to get in with my mom's health and my taking her everyday to appts. for a while.
I'm not waivering from thinking I'll go on the trip, as selfish as I feel about it, but I feel if I don't have the trip to look forward to I might crumble in just about every direction, weight, eating, good out look on things. I know it sounds stupid, but sometimes having something like this to hold on to helps pull me though, in some strange way. I know, I don't pretend to understand it either, I certainly don't expect you to. Although, if anyone is going to understand it, it would be my Dis brothers and sisters.

Sorry to babble away, I better get. Mackie is at practice since it's contest season for dance and I have to get lunch to her. Hope y'all had a great Valentine's Day and have a great weekend.

You aren't babbling! It isn't selfish at all. You can't be there to take care of everyone else if you don't care care of yourself first. It really is that simple. Finding balance with it is very hard. I think this group absolutely understands needing to hang on to your trip. I don't know what I would do without the planning to get me through, I don't find it remotely strange. Fit in what you can but don't feel selfish about it. Keeping some kind of exercise regimen alive will really help you get yourself through everything, which then helps you get your mom and family through it too. Be flexible but it is ok to put yourself first sometimes and I think it's VERY healthy for kids to see you doing that, and valuing your own health.

I love that pink dress and you know what, that can be a motivator too

 

[Alysa]

I'm not waivering from thinking I'll go on the trip, as selfish as I feel about it, but I feel if I don't have the trip to look forward to I might crumble in just about every direction, weight, eating, good out look on things. I know it sounds stupid, but sometimes having something like this to hold on to helps pull me though, in some strange way. I know, I don't pretend to understand it either, I certainly don't expect you to. Although, if anyone is going to understand it, it would be my Dis brothers and sisters.

I totally understand the need to have something to look forward to, in order to get through dark times. Sending lots more prayers for strength for you both.

 

[TarzansKat]

Disney trips, or any vacation to look forward to, have gotten me through a lot of things, so I understand where you're coming from. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you find a balance between being the amazing, helpful daughter that you are, and a woman who still needs some time for herself. There's nothing wrong with being both things! I think that's a common thing women do, is give so much that there's little left. And you need those little moments of sanity and calm to get you through.

 

[Millie12591]

Praying for good news and strength.

Thank you.

You aren't babbling! It isn't selfish at all. You can't be there to take care of everyone else if you don't care care of yourself first. It really is that simple. Finding balance with it is very hard. I think this group absolutely understands needing to hang on to your trip. I don't know what I would do without the planning to get me through, I don't find it remotely strange. Fit in what you can but don't feel selfish about it. Keeping some kind of exercise regimen alive will really help you get yourself through everything, which then helps you get your mom and family through it too. Be flexible but it is ok to put yourself first sometimes and I think it's VERY healthy for kids to see you doing that, and valuing your own health.

Most of what you are saying here is what I reassure myself with when I'm starting to feel selfish. Putting myself first is a pretty new concept for me, but one I must do in order to put my health in top priority, and something I told myself I would do when I started losing the weight.
As for the trip, it's all in order and other people are in order for it, so it's happening. Hanging onto to the trip is essential for my sanity at this point.

I love that pink dress and you know what, that can be a motivator too

I agree and I love it too. More on that in a bit.

I totally understand the need to have something to look forward to, in order to get through dark times. Sending lots more prayers for strength for you both.

I figured you would understand, having been through this with your mom too.

Disney trips, or any vacation to look forward to, have gotten me through a lot of things, so I understand where you're coming from.

You've been down this road too, God love ya. But if I remember right your situation with your momma was a bit more sudden.

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you find a balance between being the amazing, helpful daughter that you are, and a woman who still needs some time for herself. There's nothing wrong with being both things! I think that's a common thing women do, is give so much that there's little left. And you need those little moments of sanity and calm to get you through.

I appreciate that more than words can express, truly. You give such sweet words of encouragement, thank you. And you are right we women tend to put everyone else first and ourselves last, something I swore I'd do less of as I worked towards getting this silly weight off.
Come to find out the radiation will be daily for two weeks and then we'll go from there. The doctor said tumors that come on fast respond well to chemo and radiation quickly too, thank goodness for that. He also said she should be out of considerable pain by the end of the week, but well fatigued from the serious, heavy blasts they are giving her. Just as long as she can come out of the pain, that's all I'm concerned with right now. Bless her heart.

I need to run and get my girl from practice again, I'll be back to give a little shopping update.

 

[Millie12591]

I'm beyond tired from my day but I'm excited to share some of the shopping I've done over the last few days. Nothing major, but a cool story to go with it.
So, I mentioned in a previous post how I went shopping last Friday, had a me day. I kinda had to force myself to do it since it sounded good in theory, but once I was in the midst of it I felt a little strange in light of what all is going on with my mom. But, as with most girls and shopping, I pushed my way through it and got into the spirit of it, sorta.
I stopped into Macy's to check out what they had on sale and to see if a couple of things I've been keeping an eye on were finally marked down.
I figure if I'm not on top of what all is coming into the stores as the spring line comes in then I'm not going to know what the heck to look for when it finally goes on sale. "Waaaatching, aaaaaalways watching."~Roz

I had to find a ladies room the second I got there, no new news there. Mackenzie is always on me about this. Hey, if you don't drink enough water you won't lose a single pound, it's just how the body works. I stumbled into the young mens dept. looking for the bathroom (who ever designs stores really should put more thought into where they place the restrooms) and found this...

I thought...."This is a shirt for Ty-DS20 (maybe they did put some thought into the design after all! ) They also had...

And...

And...

Took these photos with my phone and sent them to Tyler to see what he thought. He actually liked the Darth Vader and surprise, surprise the pug shirt. I also took pics of a couple of dinosaurs t-shirts and thought he's love those as well (sort of a private joke thing), but no dice. What the heck do I know, I'm just the mom. The one you think he'll hate he loves and the one's you think he'll love he couldn't care less for. At least I got one right! I ended up buying them for him to give to him at a later date.

I then ventured downstairs and found my way to the dresses.
I figured I should check to see if my dress was on sale and sure enough! I found it on the sale rack down from $154.00 to $92.00, still a bit pricey for me, but certainly better than before.
I asked the sales lady if she had it in another size since I couldn't find it and she said that was the last one. I panicked a bit and thought I better get it while the gettin was good. Size 10, which I projected would be about the size I'd be able to fit into when the trip came about, but this was before my mom's health took a turn for the worse and I'm just not sure how much time I can dedicate to consistant every day exercising at this point.
Sooo, I bought it any way and then went to find the jewelry guru (a.k.a. Vicky), in the jewelry dept., (I'm one who get's to know the people working in the stores where I frequent/shop-I never meet a stranger ) she's the best at figuring out what goes with what and always picks something you would never have thought of. Looks amazing. Every time. Don't know how she does it! Come to think of it, I ended up being the one to find the necklace that was going to work, but if it hadn't been for Ms. Vicky showing me the colors she picked out of the dress, I never would have picked it up. The dress to me has more magenta and purple colors in it.
She, found all the golden and orange colors, which went sooo well with anything with gold tones in it. So here is what we decided went best with it. It's kinda hard to tell from the pictures, but the necklace with all it's golden tones actually had some iridescence in some of the beads that picked up the purple in the dress perfectly!

This next picture of the necklace might show how it picked up the purple in the dress a bit better.

So! Now I have a beautiful dress and a beautiful necklace to go with it (the bracelet will have to come later), but I could not shake this nagging feeling I had about buying the dress.
I kept thinking I was just second guessing it because of what I spent on it and because I wasn't so sure I'd get into it by the trip.
I finally succumb to these nagging thoughts and found the only peace I was going to get would be to return it and hope I'd find it later at Dillards on sale closer to the trip.
I'm finally at the store and I had a brilliant idea (although I didn't realize it at the time ) to ask if they had the size up at a different store. The lady looked it up and said yes, there were two in my size at one store and if I wanted it sent to the house they would charge me $10 for shipping because the dress was under $50 dollars. Huh?!? "Okay, well that shouldn't be an issue since I payed $92 for it." She looks at the screen and then at the receipt and asked when I bought it because on her screen it said the dress was.....wait for it.....$39.99 dollars. <---Me
"Wait, it's what?!?" Clerk-"Darlin, you need to return this dress and repurchase it!" Me-"Yea I do!"
So! I returned it, and repurchased it today at the other store and I feel so grateful for feeling like I was prompted to take it back. More proof the Big Guy is truly looking out for me and helping me get the wardrobe together. Thank you Lord.

I'm not really in the place to try and edit, so please excuse any errors.

 

[chloe770]

I LOVE it when the shopping Angels are looking out for us! So glad you got the dress you wanted at a price that is beyond perfect! I personally have a shopping theory of if you are still thinking about an item you want the next day GO BUY IT! No point in torturing yourself.

 

[TarzansKat]

Shopping win! I love it when a plan all comes together like that!!!

 

[jedijill]

That really is a gorgeous dress and so happy you found out about the lower price!!! That is awesome!

P&PD to you and your mom. Don't feel guilty about taking care of yourself even while taking care of your mom. You have to put you first or else everyone will suffer. Hang in there! You are certainly an inspiration to many of us that struggle.


Jill in CO

 

[addictedtothemouse]

I LOVE that dress!

 

[Millie12591]

I LOVE it when the shopping Angels are looking out for us! So glad you got the dress you wanted at a price that is beyond perfect! I personally have a shopping theory of if you are still thinking about an item you want the next day GO BUY IT! No point in torturing yourself.

Thank you, giI do too!! You and I think alike then, Ms. Dawn. If I'm still thinking about it a few days later I know it's meant to be. Now I just need to find a cute top to represent Texas. You gotta represent where you are from when you are in WDW!!

Shopping win! I love it when a plan all comes together like that!!!

You and me both, Ms. TK! Things coming a bit on the easy side while things are the way they are right now, "...is a really good thing." To quote Martha.

That really is a gorgeous dress and so happy you found out about the lower price!!! That is awesome!

Thank you Jill, I really love the dress. Now that I got the bigger size I won't feel near as much pressure to lose enough to get into it. I still need to lose a bit for it to fit perfectly, but I think that is more managable that what I'd have to do to get into the size 10.

P&PD to you and your mom. Don't feel guilty about taking care of yourself even while taking care of your mom. You have to put you first or else everyone will suffer. Hang in there! You are certainly an inspiration to many of us that struggle.


Jill in CO

Thank you Jill, everyone's support truly does make a difference. I know I'm being lifted up by the way I'm handling things and the way mom is starting to come out of the pain, even just a little bit is making a world of difference in her attitude and getting around easier. Thank the Lord and y'all for the prayer and support.

I LOVE that dress!

Me too!! The colors just make me happy looking at it!! I was looking at the pictures I have on the clothes I've gotten so far.....I have a bit of a theme going on color wise here! Here y'all tell me what you think?!?

Oh well, I like the colors and they look good on me. That's all that really counts any way, right?

 

[KatMark]

Beautiful dress, Camille. It's going to look great on you.

Having your Disney trip to plan is probably the best thing for you with everything you have going on with your mom. As much as you want to help your mom, you do have to remember to have some time for just you and your famly.

When my dad passed away in 2008, I had the trip to plan and talk to our friends about (they were going with us) and it helped ease the pain of my dad fading away from us. I don't know if you'll recall, but he passed away the week before our trip and I really wanted to cancel the whole thing. But the last thing my dad was able to say to me about three weeks before he left us was that he wanted us to do this trip no matter what and it is what got me through.

 

[eandesmom]

I love all the colors you have going, it's a good theme! All positive life affirming colors if you ask me on the dress, I love it when something comes together like that and it's so pretty! Just think with the new price, your necklace was free!