Uh...gee...thanks?

[Chicago526]

My dog Missy brought me a gift the other day.

A dead frozen squirel from the back yard!

At least she droped it at my feet outside the house, and didn't get it IN to the house! She looked so proud I didn't have the heart to scold her! Can't really blame a dog for acting like a dog, I guess.

But still, yuck!

 

[ziggystardust]

at least she didn't kill it.

My sister's dog caught a bird once and brought it to her. Funny thing is - my sister is a vegan. couldn't look at the dog for a week.

 

[disneysnowflake]

That is so funny.

Once a field mouse got into our house. My cat killed it. My miniature schnauzer stole it from the cat. The dog brought the mouse to me, dropped it in my lap, and then looked so proud even though he didn't kill it, he only stole it. The dog didn't get why I was screaming.

A frozen squirrel.

 

[Disneydreaming6]

A dead mouse in your lap, the dog would of went out with the mouse. I have a really really bad phobia of mice, not the MOUSE but mice. I can't even walk by them in the pet store. I will always have a cat for that reason. and I would of kept the dog but would never have been able to look at it again with the same loving eyes, I would always see a dead mouse.

 

[yeartolate]

Do you have a crock pot?

 

[RickinNYC]

Our dog Bill has been on a mission to catch the squirrels in our back yard and one day, he finally caught one. He had no idea what to do with it so he just whipped his head back and forth like he does to his chew toys. Leftrightleftrightleftright. Joe started screaming like a shrew to "drop it drop it drop it!" over and over, face turning red, freaking out in freakville.

Bill was baffled at Joe's reaction to of course, he trots to the door, squirrel still in his mouth. Joe screaming, Bill's butt waggling, squirrel sqirrelling. I looked over Joe's shoulder and said, "Bill, want a cookie?" Of course, he dropped the little creature on the ground and raced to the back door, thoughts of Beggin' Strips dancing in his head.

The squirrel, very much intact, wobbled away. If we lived in Toontown, you'd see little stars and wiggly lines around the little sucker's head. He was fine.

Joe grabbed Bill and started reaching into his mouth, hand practically down his throat. Bill gagging, Joe screaching "I think he has the rabies! He has the rabies I swear! He's foaming!"

With a sigh, I said, "He's drooling you idiot. He wants his cookie. Get your hand out of his mouth, he's fine."

Eyes bulging, still clutching Bill in his meaty hands, "You sure? He doesn't have the rabies? Positive?"

"Yes Joe. And if he has rabies, it won't show up instaneously. Plus, if it does show up, you'll now probably get it since you stuck your hand down his throat."

"WHATWHATWHATWHAT?!" he bellowed as he ran to the bathroom to wash his hands, rub in some hand sanitizer and douse himself in every cleaning implement we had in the house. All the while, muttering "the rabies" to himself.

Bill caught his first and last squirrel and got a Beggin' Strip.

Joe, the hypochondriac, spent the next day checking his temperature and watching the dog to see if he started foaming.

The squirrel won.

 

[Phrebert]

Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of....Rocky?....NOOO!!!

 

[OKWMom]

I had a dog years ago when I was living alone and every morning when I would let him out, he would bring in some “surprise”. Some mornings it would be just a stick. Others it would be a dead frog. Sometimes it was miscellaneous garbage. Our routine was he would run in and run immediately under the sofa. I would pull him out and retrieve whatever he happened to be holding.

One morning in mid May he came back with a five dollar bill. I have no idea how he got it. That weekend was Mother’s Day and my then boyfriend got me a Mother’s Day card, took an ink stamp pad and stamped the dog’s paw on it. I asked if the dog also got me a present. My boyfriend said the dog was going to buy me a present, but I took his $5.

 

[Chicago526]

Our dog Bill has been on a mission to catch the squirrels in our back yard and one day, he finally caught one. He had no idea what to do with it so he just whipped his head back and forth like he does to his chew toys. Leftrightleftrightleftright. Joe started screaming like a shrew to "drop it drop it drop it!" over and over, face turning red, freaking out in freakville.

Bill was baffled at Joe's reaction to of course, he trots to the door, squirrel still in his mouth. Joe screaming, Bill's butt waggling, squirrel sqirrelling. I looked over Joe's shoulder and said, "Bill, want a cookie?" Of course, he dropped the little creature on the ground and raced to the back door, thoughts of Beggin' Strips dancing in his head.

The squirrel, very much intact, wobbled away. If we lived in Toontown, you'd see little stars and wiggly lines around the little sucker's head. He was fine.

Joe grabbed Bill and started reaching into his mouth, hand practically down his throat. Bill gagging, Joe screaching "I think he has the rabies! He has the rabies I swear! He's foaming!"

With a sigh, I said, "He's drooling you idiot. He wants his cookie. Get your hand out of his mouth, he's fine."

Eyes bulging, still clutching Bill in his meaty hands, "You sure? He doesn't have the rabies? Positive?"

"Yes Joe. And if he has rabies, it won't show up instaneously. Plus, if it does show up, you'll now probably get it since you stuck your hand down his throat."

"WHATWHATWHATWHAT?!" he bellowed as he ran to the bathroom to wash his hands, rub in some hand sanitizer and douse himself in every cleaning implement we had in the house. All the while, muttering "the rabies" to himself.

Bill caught his first and last squirrel and got a Beggin' Strip.

Joe, the hypochondriac, spent the next day checking his temperature and watching the dog to see if he started foaming.

The squirrel won.

Rick, you tell the BEST stories!

Missy spends her days trying to catch them too, and my DH says she's come really close a couple of times. I'm not 100% sure that she found the squirel already dead, she may have caught and killed it. Only the fact that it was frozen solid before she "gave" it to me makes me think she found it DOA. That and if she ever DID catch one, like your dog, I don't think she'd know what to do with it!

 

[Kath2003]

I got a mouse from my cat the other day. Its head was hanging off

But he was all purry and proud of himself so I couldn't be annoyed/nauseaous for long

 

[winniedapooh]

My brother was helping our other brother out with his year old Golden Retriever. He was letting her out at dusk the other night and was going to play cathc with her. He played for a bout 1/2 hour and felt a scratch and went to inspect, he didn't want the dog to get cut on her toy... What does he see when he gets inside, lol, a dead frozen squirrel that he had been tossing back and forth!!!

 

[winniedapooh]

Our dog Bill has been on a mission to catch the squirrels in our back yard and one day, he finally caught one. He had no idea what to do with it so he just whipped his head back and forth like he does to his chew toys. Leftrightleftrightleftright. Joe started screaming like a shrew to "drop it drop it drop it!" over and over, face turning red, freaking out in freakville.

Bill was baffled at Joe's reaction to of course, he trots to the door, squirrel still in his mouth. Joe screaming, Bill's butt waggling, squirrel sqirrelling. I looked over Joe's shoulder and said, "Bill, want a cookie?" Of course, he dropped the little creature on the ground and raced to the back door, thoughts of Beggin' Strips dancing in his head.

The squirrel, very much intact, wobbled away. If we lived in Toontown, you'd see little stars and wiggly lines around the little sucker's head. He was fine.

Joe grabbed Bill and started reaching into his mouth, hand practically down his throat. Bill gagging, Joe screaching "I think he has the rabies! He has the rabies I swear! He's foaming!"

With a sigh, I said, "He's drooling you idiot. He wants his cookie. Get your hand out of his mouth, he's fine."

Eyes bulging, still clutching Bill in his meaty hands, "You sure? He doesn't have the rabies? Positive?"

"Yes Joe. And if he has rabies, it won't show up instaneously. Plus, if it does show up, you'll now probably get it since you stuck your hand down his throat."

"WHATWHATWHATWHAT?!" he bellowed as he ran to the bathroom to wash his hands, rub in some hand sanitizer and douse himself in every cleaning implement we had in the house. All the while, muttering "the rabies" to himself.

Bill caught his first and last squirrel and got a Beggin' Strip.

Joe, the hypochondriac, spent the next day checking his temperature and watching the dog to see if he started foaming.

The squirrel won.

OMG RIck you crack me up...best laugh I have had all week.

 

[WhatATreat]

Rick & OKWMom I loved your stories - too funny.

One morning I let Cody out before breakfast as is our routine. When he didn't come back in few minutes like he usually does, I went to the door and called him. He still didn't come. I told him breakfast was ready (I swear he understands any word that has to do with food) and he looked like he couldn't decide what to do. Finally, I went out to see what was so darn interesting in the yard that he wouldn't come eat. Well, what I found was a yard full of dead and wounded mice. They must have had a nest somewhere and he found it. They ran. He chased. What a mess.

 

[Sir Real]

Along the same lines.

My then 2 year old son had been playing in the yard when he came in and very proudly placed a "pretty catepillar" on the kitchen counter for my wife to see. Thanking him while rushing him to the bathroom to wash his hands, my wife signalled for me to remove the petrified dog poop off the kitchen counter.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

My cat once brought me a mutilated mouse. He dropped it on my pillow while I was sleeping. I opened my eyes and there were mouse guts right next to my head with my kitty sitting proudly behind Mickey's relative. I jumped off the bed so fast I practically levitated.

 

[Pixie Tales]

My Cat is the Best Fly Catcher I've ever known
who needs a flyswatter I have a Cat

 

[ZachnElli]

Our little maltipoo when he was a puppy and at most 5lbs, brought me a large dead jack rabbit! It was at least twice his size! I know he didn't kill it and I had just spend the last 2 hours looking for him (our dog). He was so small he'd walk right through our fence. I have no idea how he got that big rabbit through the fence and all the way up our deck!

 

[LiteBrite]

Years ago, I had to go out on to the back porch one night to get something. The light was burned out, so I was groping my way in the dark, with bare feet, when I stepped on something furry. Shreiking, I dashed back into the house, while hubby came with the flashlight to see what was there. Turned out to be half (the back half, if you want to know) of a squirrel.

My dog Rosie was so proud.

 

[minnieandme]

These stories are too funny. I hope I never get any mice in my house cause my cat will probably just look at it instead of trying to kill it.

 

[TinkerTracy]

I am so glad my cat doesn't do this!