Ughh.....my daughter was offensive.....

[CharlesTD]

If it was my kid they would be paying for the worker to have dinner and a written and verbal apology would be made to both the worker and the person in the car who was offended. There is no need to berate somone like that regardless if it is a joke or not. My DW went to college and is a manager at Wendy's and makes quite good money so that comment is way out of line IMHO. I went to University and dropped out after 3 years of a 7 year program I just wasn't ready to have to sit in class all the time. I now have an extremly good job working for the second largest bank in Canada so it just goes to show you that even if you do go to post seconday school you may have a career goal that puts you in the fast food industry.

 

[Stitchfans]

Didn't read everyone elses opinions but in my opinion that woman was immature and insecure. For pete's sakes it is a child that made the comment. A child who is just learning how to "be funny", and wanting to fit in. I wouldn't be upset with anyone but the woman who jumped all over your daughter.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

No one has brought up the point that we only have the daughter's version of the story. Maybe, and I STRESS maybe, she wasn't attacked, merely reprimanded. If we are going with the "she's only 12," excuse, we also need to acknowledge 12 year olds stretch the truth and exaggerate as well. Maybe she wasn't "reamed," merely reprimanded.

Something to think about.

 

[USA Here I Come]

I can understand both sides of this. Yes, that woman was wrong for coming down on your daughter so hard, your daughter probably didn't realise how much it would offend the woman. However, what your daughter said was totally innapropriate. For all your daughter knows the person serving her could of been working towards a college degree whilst trying to earn a little money on the side. Yes I agree that people who work in fast food places permanently are hardly ever sucessfull but your daughter had no idea about the server's actual circumstances and therefore her comments were out of line. I myself have an interview for McDonalds soon, this will be for on weekends whilst i'm working towards a degree, what your daughter said has deffinatly offended me but had I been in the car when your daughter said it I hope I would of handled the situation with a little more grace than the woman did.

 

[LoveWDW]

Didn't read everyone elses opinions but in my opinion that woman was immature and insecure. For pete's sakes it is a child that made the comment. A child who is just learning how to "be funny", and wanting to fit in. I wouldn't be upset with anyone but the woman who jumped all over your daughter.

I agree. The woman should have realized that it was a child speaking. At most a smiling, gentle comment about the mistaken quip and a remark about how successful non-college-graduates can be could have been made. Berating- wrong, and immature.

 

[MinnieM21]

No one has brought up the point that we only have the daughter's version of the story. Maybe, and I STRESS maybe, she wasn't attacked, merely reprimanded. If we are going with the "she's only 12," excuse, we also need to acknowledge 12 year olds stretch the truth and exaggerate as well. Maybe she wasn't "reamed," merely reprimanded.

Something to think about.

That's exactly what I was thinking.

 

[Dizz(n)ey]

I couldn't be mad at her because I'm an adult and joke around about this very thing as well

Sometimes people who do work at these type of places AMAZE me

They can not comprehend simple things...it's a FACT
As long as she did not say it directly to the person and hurt their feelings it's fine..She was just making a funny

 

[Jeafl]

I think any grown woman who thinks she needs to "rip into" a young person (or "take her down a peg" as one poster suggested) has some issues. She could have easily stated in a factual and calm manner that the statement was offensive and gotten her point across without bullying and humiliating a child she doesn't even know. Would she have spoken to a grown adult like that? I'm willing to bet not.

I think there are some posters here who are forgetting how socially awkward it is to be an adolescent. I bet it'll be quite some time before this young lady feels safe enough to speak her mind in front of an adult and I think that's very sad.

I totally agree with this.

 

[LoraJ]

No one has brought up the point that we only have the daughter's version of the story. Maybe, and I STRESS maybe, she wasn't attacked, merely reprimanded. If we are going with the "she's only 12," excuse, we also need to acknowledge 12 year olds stretch the truth and exaggerate as well. Maybe she wasn't "reamed," merely reprimanded.

Something to think about.

I was thinking of this too.

 

[gepetto]

the world needs ditch diggers, too

 

[O2BNWDW]

Good for you......but still...most people with degrees ARE successful. Just like Aprilgail tells her kid to do good in school or she will be flipping hamburgers....I tell my 11 yr. old the same thing.

Like it or not.....college usually ensures a better life.

No college does not "ensure" a better life. Yes, it can give advantages, but ultimately it is up to the individual as to what to do with their degree.

I have worked alongside MANY people with college degrees who were paid paid less than I.

And as for the people fllipping burgers - well at least they are working, how judgemental of some not to realize that it takes all kinds of people and jobs to make this world run! From garbage disposal to sewage plant treatment.

 

[cstraub]

Have not read all the posts but just wanted to post an observation.

"This, my friends, is why you go to college." (what your daughter said)

"Stay in school kids or you'll end up with my job." (Jungle cruise boat driver)

Your daughter has a great sense of humor and it sounds like your friend needs to get a new friend.

I would never make a 12 year feel uncomfortable about a comment they made especially in public. We are the adults and we should be teaching kids how to act, not embarrassing them and making them feel bad! Sounds like the friend's friend has a major chip on her shoulder.

 

[Sparx]

backstory. I plan on going to college, my mother went to college, my uncle is going to college, my grandmother never went to college. My uncle works at a diner with my grandmother parttime, grandmother full time. mom quit working there when she got an office job.when I go in and they are cleaning up sometimes they will joke around and say, "shelby this is why you go to college"

I think she meant it to be funny, and wasn't trying to offend anyone. Sound like friends mom has some hangups about not going to college. I would have laughed a little, just like I do when people who work in places like that tell me the same thing.

But also, working in the food business is hard. It has long hours, little pay, lots of clean up, really hot, stinky and messy. These people are working really hard. So I also understand why she was offended.

JMO

 

[daleks]

LOL, the snobbery thread.

Telling your kids that they'll end up flippng burgers if they don't go to college. Great parenting.

 

[O2BNWDW]

LOL, the snobbery thread.

Telling your kids that they'll end up flippng burgers if they don't go to college. Great parenting.

Exactly!

 

[tiggerdog]

Here's is a little food for thought people.

Not everyone has to go to college to be successful. My cousin is an electrician and never went to college. He makes twice what my husband and I do and we both have a Master's in Education.

Our neighbor is a plumber and his wife is a SAHM for there three children. They have the much more expensive model home than we do.

My dad started as a carpenter. He then became a general contractor. He never went to college and he made plenty of money to support my stepmom and her very expensive spending habits.

My best friend in high school started working at a Wendy's when we were juniors.She is now the owner of several Wendy's in the area. Guess what, she never went to college. She is also making twice what my husband and I do.

Think of the firemen, police officers, and paramedics. While they all had training for their profession, I bet most of them didn't go to college and earn a degree. Next time your in a car accident remember to tell the paramedic not to treat you unless he or she has a college degree.

There are many occupations in our society that do not require a college education. What makes a person successful is what they do with what they have. Money does not make success. Power does not make success. What one person defines as success another may not.

Not everyone needs a college education.

Now when your child wants to drop out of high school, give him or her an application to McDonalds.

 

[Microcell]

I would have really offended her, because I usually say under my breath, "boom". As in the sound thier brain just made as it exploded!

On the whole college thing- MY Dh is in a job he is not very happy with, but makes a good living at considering he didn't finish college. I got a degree, but as soon as I had kids, it went out the window, I don't use it.

The thing we tell DD (along the lines of flipping burgers) is that your choices are limited, and once you reach a certain income level, if you do not like what you are doing, you might be stuck (as my DH is) without a degree. It opens up more choices.

 

[grlpwrd]

No one has brought up the point that we only have the daughter's version of the story. Maybe, and I STRESS maybe, she wasn't attacked, merely reprimanded. If we are going with the "she's only 12," excuse, we also need to acknowledge 12 year olds stretch the truth and exaggerate as well. Maybe she wasn't "reamed," merely reprimanded.

Something to think about.

I was thinking this, too... How can the OP even accept what her dd says, especially if this has happened twice or 3 times before?

 

[cstraub]

Off topic but wanted to post these stats. BTW I do not have a college degree but I wish I did!

Top number is yearly income
bottom number is monthly income

No High School Diploma
$14,349
$1,196

High School Diploma
$23,233
$1,936

Associate Degree
$31,684
$2,640

Bachelor's Degree
$45,648
$3,804

Master's Degree
$56,958
$4,747

Doctorate Degree
$87,644
$7,304


Info found on:
http://www.bls.gov/oco/home.htm

 

[AC7179]

and a clarification on a few things.

The story I had gotten was from the friend's mom, not my daughter, so I am judging it to be fairly accurate.

As far as her feeling better than most or having a superiority complex, I am 99% sure that isn't the case. The funny (as in ironic) thing is that both women are probably much better off than my husband and I. Apparently the mom that was so offended is married to a man who owns a million dollar company. I do have a degree, but I'm a teacher. I think we all know where that puts me financially! My husband actually is going back to school now, thus, we have been stressing that college is even more important than money. We tell her college is important, not because of money, but so that she can pick a job that she enjoys. Nobody in our family looks down on fast food workers, but I doubt that most people would PICK that job if given a choice. That is all we have tried to teach her. I think she opened her mouth and inserted her foot, and I think she learned a lesson. I didn't fuss at her too much, just told her she has to think before she talks and if there is a question of what she is saying being offensive, don't say it at all.

There were a couple of people who seemed a little judgemental of my daughter and me. My only response to that is, I NEVER thought my daughter would say something like that and offend someone. So, even though you may proclaim your kids would never say something like that, you never know. I babysat the granddaughter of a dear, lovely, friend of mine yesterday. The child was an angel the entire time except for the time she called my husband "buttface." I KNOW that nobody ever would have called that for that little girl.

Also, for those who jumped on me (or questioned me) about saying that the ff worker couldn't hear her, I wasn't excusing my daughter's comment, just clarifying that point for someone who had asked.

Thanks for all of the opinions. Geez, why didn't they give us a book to follow when we became parents?