True Life: I'm in an Interracial Relationship

[staley7580]

My ds is mixed, and my dh and dd are white, as am I. You can imagine the questions we get! They are only 3 years apart, and ds is just starting to realize that he doesnt quite look like the rest of us. My mom went crazy when she found out I was going to have a mixed baby, but it didnt last long.

 

[Conservative Hippie]

I have no problem with interracial relationships.

But, I have to say, I have a preference for specific men and they happen to be in my race. I just have never been attracted to anyone who is outside of my race. (well, besides some celebrities, but I am talking about people i have met) If I were, I would have dated them without question.

I hesitate to even admit this because every time this discussion comes up, it is automatically asssumed that I have something against men of other races, but just have specific things I find attractive.

I don't think there is anything wrong with that at all. Like I said, I'm hispanic, or technically mixed hispanic and white, and I've never dated anything but white guys. I didn't turn down guys of other races, I was just never attracted to one. So since by all government purposes, I'm hispanic, I counted myself as in an interracial relationship, although anyone who looked at me wouldn't think so.

 

[StarLight StarBright]

I really don't understand people's issues with interracial relationships. For Example, My grandmother was watching a news show, and it featured a story about a white girl who was dating a black boy. My grandmother says something like she can't understand why she would want to date that boy, that is terrible. My mother is white, married to a Brazilian(my dad). My uncle is white, and married a woman from Mexico. These are my Gramma's kids, and she has never said one negative thing about their interracial marriages! So I don't understand why one is Ok, but not the other. People just get the most mixed up beliefs. This is one I especially don't understand.

 

[maelstrom]

I have no problem with it. The majority of my boyfriends have been Puerto Rican (it just happened that way). I'm white (and about as pale as you can get). My mother has a problem with it, though. She doesn't want "tan grandchildren" (apparently Asian is fine, just not Hispanic, black, or Middle Eastern). I planned on having kids with this last guy (who just broke up with me after two years, not a happy camper...) and my family knew it was pretty serious (so what happened?! I don't know...) and my mother kept pressing the "no tan grandchildren" issue. I finally told her that she can either love her grandchildren no matter what colour they are, or she won't ever see them and she can just pretend she doesn't have any. This guy is actually the product of an interracial marriage himself; his dad is white and his mom is Puerto Rican. I have a few friends who are of mixed race (one is black and Japanese, which is not very common) and a few in interracial relationships. It doesn't matter to me. The way I see it, you can't help who you fall in love with, and there's bigger issues to worry about than the colour of their skin. I have no idea now who I'll end up marrying and what colour and ethnicity they'll be, but I just hope that when I have babies, my mom will come to her senses and love them no matter what colour they are.

 

[azgal81]

I don't have a problem with them. Love is love! I've never been in one personally but I know quite a few people that are.

 

[hipporina]

I have never been in an interracial relationship (in fact, the only relationship I've really ever been in is with dh and we are both white) but one of my children (they are all adopted) is half-Mexican. The first 4 children we adopted were white. We had talked about adopting a biracial baby (probably black/white mix) and were concerned about how the child would feel being the only one different. Then our sibling group of 4 came along. 3 are all white and 1 is half-Mexican. He is almost 9 and does not feel different at all. I realized just how much of a non-issue it is. He definitely looks different than most of us (I have 4 blondes, 2 dirty blondes, 1 red head and 1 very dark haired, darker skinned) but he's just part of the family like everyone else.

A few months ago we looked into adopting a biracial baby because we realized it truly doesn't matter. Unfortunately, every agency I have talked with says we have too many children and will never be chosen. I just feel that race is given way too much focus and attention in this world.

 

[dis ms.]

I have no problem with interracial relationships.

But, I have to say, I have a preference for specific men and they happen to be in my race. I just have never been attracted to anyone who is outside of my race. (well, besides some celebrities, but I am talking about people i have met) If I were, I would have dated them without question.

I hesitate to even admit this because every time this discussion comes up, it is automatically asssumed that I have something against men of other races, but just have specific things I find attractive.

I'm so glad you brought this up. You'll get no flames from me. But, if you think your preference is controversial, try being a black woman and saying that you have a preference for light/fair-skinned men.

I was just talking to my boss about this the other day. She was saying how no one would bat an eye if she (a white woman) said she preferred fair-skinned men, but there's a negative connotation for a black woman--especially a light-skinned one--to express a similar sentiment.

I always have been more attracted to men with lighter skin. As a result, I tended to date biracial guys and white guys--my DH is the latter. But to state such a preference would surely open me up to criticism (e.g., "You're trying to be white," or "You think you're too good for darker guys.") To me, it's no different than my preference for tall men.

 

[shortbun]

Where's the 'it's 2007, I can't believe this would even be a discussion' poll selection?

 

[cccm]

Whatever makes a person happy.

DD is the product of an interracial relationship. DH is Italian/Eastern European and his first wife DM of DD was Chinese.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

My opinion about interracial relationships? I think there is too much else going on in the world to be concerned with. Let people be with who they want, regardless of color.

But my mother would have slaughtered me if I had brought someone home of another race, that's for sure.

 

[blue_eyes5212]

My ds is mixed, and my dh and dd are white, as am I. You can imagine the questions we get! They are only 3 years apart, and ds is just starting to realize that he doesnt quite look like the rest of us. My mom went crazy when she found out I was going to have a mixed baby, but it didnt last long.

Beautiful children!!!

I don't think I could have brought a man of another race home to my parents, but I have no problem with others who date whatever race they want to. I have a co-worker (white) who lives with a black man and I don't feel any differently/treat her any differently than I do others who date within their race. I don't really think about it!

 

[I Love Pluto]

Prejudice is a terrible thing. The color of someone's skin should not be an issue. As I view things, the only issue is when one person of a mixed couple cannot accept the other's cultural differences. No one should have to change "who they are" just to satisfy someone else.

 

[Sammy]

I'm not in an interracial relationship, but my kids still look completely different! DH and I are both white...medium skin-tone....brown hair. I have two kids with darker skin and dark brown hair (italian genes from me), and I have one child who is very fair skinned with freckles and red/copper hair (she got all the scottish genes!). Even on the day she was born, everyone was shocked at how fair-skinned/red-haired she was compared to DH and I.

When they were all little, people would always assume she was a niece or someone I was babysitting. I've even had people ask if she was adopted . Who honestly asks that of a stranger???

 

[Charade]

Halle Berry... nuff said!

My Dfi says we should all mix it up until we're all the same color as Halle Berry.

 

[PatsGirl]

I couldn't care less the color of a man's skin, but I do tend to prefer someone a bit darker than say Irish, paleness is a turn-off to me, sorry if I offend anyone. But so aren't bald heads and hairy backs so it's not about the skin-color itself. What I find funny in my experience is that I have one Cape Verdean girlfriend who refuses to date anyone other than white, just for the sake of the color of his skin -- what a smack in the face for your own race I think. Another Southern black girlfriend of mine thinks that black girls should stick with black men and white with white, us white girls shouldn't be stealing all her good black options I told her she best keep the nicest ones away from me cuz black or white, if they're that promising, I'm going for it BTW, my son is 1/4 American Indian and 3/4 mutt, my daughter 1/2 Portugeese, and 1/2 mutt. Both get VERY dark in the sun and I'm asked constantly what race they are. Huh? The kind that tans easily

 

[NewJersey]

I have no problem with them and I have been in them twice.

 

[Jaimee]

I have no problem with it at all. DS is biracial, I'm white his dad is african american. My dad is married to a hispanic woman so my brother and sister are biracial also. My dad always jokes that Thanksgiving at my grandmas is like the United Nations lol. My family is fine with it.

 

[Savsmommy]

I am white and my DH is black. We have been married 8 years and have 2 beautiful children. I have always dated black men. It's just my preference. I never had a problem with bringing a black guy home to meet my parents. I'm not sure how they felt about it at first but they never disapproved and always welcomed them into there home. As long as they treated me right they really didn't care. That's all that should matter. Who cares what color a person's skin color is. My whole family including all my grandparents love my DH. I feel so lucky to have found someone who loves me so much!!

 

[helloirishkitty]

I wish everyone I knew was as understanding as your guys!

I was in an interracial relationship for about a year (my first and only one), and one of the reasons we ended up breaking up was because of the people around us. I'm Irish (and as pale as humanly possible) and my exDBF is puerto rican. At first, no one said anything to us, and my friends were excited that I found someone I meshed with so well. I never noticed that one of his tenants never talked to me until I was told one day, months later, that "he doesn't like white people." A few weeks after that I found out one of the reasons one of his friends had been so cold to be was because he didn't like people who weren't minorities. Ok, whatever, to each their own. By this point, I had brushed up on my Spanish to the point where I am fluent, just so I could talk to his elderly relatives and feel comfortable. When we started talking about marriage, my mother (who wants grandchildren more than anything) started pushing the "well, what about the children?" route. My fight back was, "What about them? We're both educated and hold good jobs, so I can't see any issues with them not being loved or deprived in anyway." That shut her up for awhile, but not for long. Pretty soon she got my cousins to confront me about it, all the while his friends and family were pushing him to find a nice hispanic girl so that I didn't mess up his family tree.

I wish I could say that we faced adversity and pushed through it, but we couldn't. The last straw was from his side, and it was so petty and ridiculous that it's not worth mentioning. I'm not saying I'll never be in an interracial relationship again, but unfortunately, some people just can't mind their own business.

 

[MushyMushy]

My opinion about interracial relationships? I think there is too much else going on in the world to be concerned with. Let people be with who they want, regardless of color.

But my mother would have slaughtered me if I had brought someone home of another race, that's for sure.

My parents would have been the same way, so when I was young enough to still care what they thought, I never got myself into an interracial relationship. Where I live, there weren't any people of different races to even consider dating, but I personally would have been open to it.

There's this incident that happened last week and I'm kind of ashamed at how I handled it.

I was at an amusement park with my family and another family. We really look up to this family and think they are the nicest people we've ever known. I just admire them so much and always wished I could be as kind. Anyway, I was sitting talking to the grandma (younger grandma) and she started complaining in disgust about the interracial couples she'd seen that day.

What do you do when someone you admire expresses an opinion that you find repulsive? I just shrugged my shoulders through most of her comments and acted non-commitally towards what she was saying. I was upset with myself for not being more forceful with my own opinions, ya know?