True Life: I'm in an Interracial Relationship

[Goofyzgurl]

I don't have any problems with it, but I'm mixed . My kids are mixed and then some b/c dh and I are both mixed too He's African American and Native American. No one really pays us any attention anymore, but we've been married 15 years now. In the beginning African American women would come up to him and say some things, "why are you married to her? Why didn't you marry a black woman?..." My parents love him, sometimes I think more than they like me b/c they always take his side. My girls are beautiful...of course... They haven't had any problems at school, the other kids know they're mixed but I think it's more accepted today than before that it's going to be easier for them. Of course, there will always be some one that has a problem with it.

 

[Tinkerbell_Girl]

I don't have a problem with interracial relationships because I'm in one! I am hispanic and DBF is white. Although many people think I'm white because I'm light skinned and don't understand spanish. Our kids will probably be pale, I'm pale with dark hair and DBF is pale too and has medium brown hair and freckles! I have no problem with who people date as long as they are being treated right!

 

[jennyf917]

I'm white, DP is black. Our son is biracial. When I got pregnant, my ignorant family from the sticks had tons of things to say like "He's going to leave you," "no white man will ever want to date you again," and on and on. Our DS is now 5, we have been together for 6 1/2 years, and are very happy. Our family has realized that, finally. I can honestly say that outside of ignorant family we have never heard a word, although I bartend and you wouldn't believe the things that come out of people's mouths once they've had a couple. Our son hasn't faced any discrimination yet, but he is still young. I dread the day we have to have that conversation.

 

[Youarehere]

I don't have a problem with any relationship as long as all parties involved are free thinking consenting adults. Interracial , gay , lesbian , may/december , polygamy . I think people should love who they want to love and do what makes them happy so long as they aren't harming any one else.

 

[reeeoga]

No problem, but have never been in one: That had more to do with the girls I went to school with. .

I don't care what color a person is.

 

[java]

I have a question. I am white and my dh is hispanic.(and a hottie I might add! ) We have 4 children. I used to think we were inter-racial. Then I read here on the DIS that Hispanic is not really considered a race and that hispanics are white. Am I wrong? So are we inter-racial or not?
Obviously I don't have a problem with them. Why should I care what sex or color your partner is. If you are happy with it and they are happy with it Good for you!

 

[Conservative Hippie]

I have a question. I am white and my dh is hispanic.(and a hottie I might add! ) We have 4 children. I used to think we were inter-racial. Then I read here on the DIS that Hispanic is not really considered a race and that hispanics are white. Am I wrong? So are we inter-racial or not?
Obviously I don't have a problem with them. Why should I care what sex or color your partner is. If you are happy with it and they are happy with it Good for you!

That's true, hispanic is technically not a race, but an ethnic background. But ignorant people that hate interracial couples and children don't care about technicalities.

 

[helenabear]

That's true, hispanic is technically not a race, but an ethnic background. But ignorant people that hate interracial couples and children don't care about technicalities.

And technically there are only 3 different groups in general. Caucasian, Mongoloid and African. So we have less "inter-racial" issues going on than one would think. However, no hispanics I know classify themselfs as "white" they are "caucasian" but then again a lot of the middle east are "caucasian" as well so they are the same as well

 

[cheerful chickadee]

well I'm white and DH is black so I obviously don't have a problem with it lol We've been together for over 12 years and have encountered ignorant comments along the way of course, some even from family. We live in a very diverse area so the looks/comments are rare but we do get them, I find it funny that we're SO important to other people that they'd take time out of their precious day to judge us Race or skin color was never an issue to me, although my parents never said not to date outside of my race, I'm sure they would have rather me brought home a white guy. I never felt the need to hide my attraction to anyone, I never cared what other people said even though it was hard at times. I still don't understand why people care who other people want to love/date/marry, it makes no sense.

One thing I can say is true from my experience...dating someone of another race brings out all the hidden prejudice in those around you, people that you never knew had these issues with race suddenly come out of the woodwork with ignorance, it's amazing.

 

[Monte Cristo]

Being 8.5 months pregnant, I don't sleep very much anymore. And when I can't sleep, I watch True Life on MTV.

I can't believe the ignorance of these people on TL: I'm in an Interracial Relationship! This girl's parents disapprove of her being with/having a baby with a hispanic boy (she is white). They say what if her baby comes out brown skinned? What if????? And this is in New Jersey, not even in the South where it might be expected (and before anyone says anything, I have lived my whole life in the South!). Their whole excuse is that while they have no problem with the baby being mixed, they think it will be hard for the child to grow up mixed. IMHO, people who say that are the only ones that have a problem with mixed children. I grew up mixed (mom is hispanic, dad is white) in Alabama, and it was not traumatic. Sure, there were some mean kids, I can remember being asked in 1st grade why my mom was black and my dad was white (apparently Mexicans were a rare sight in Alabama back then). But most certainly not a reason for interracial couples to be discouraged!

I am pretty fair with dark features, one of my brothers is really there's-no-mistaking-you-are-Mexican dark, and the other brother actually has red hair. Yes, we all have the same mommy and daddy! To top it all off, we all have extremely Irish first names, and an extremely Irish last name. The dark one is actually Patrick. You have no idea how funny it was once when he showed up for a job interview, this Mexican guy when they were expecting Patrick O'Irishman. He actually just got married (to a white girl) and watching this True Life made me wonder if her family ever had a problem with it. DH's mother had a bit of a shock the first time she met my mother, but I assume she got over it because she never said anything after that.

You know, there is a possibility that my child will be dark skinned, which would be funny I think, seeing as how DH and I are both fair.

So anyway, I'm bored, I can't sleep, maybe this will cause some excitement. What are your feelings about interracial relationships?

A lot of people are just plain ignorant. I am white and my wife is hispanic. Obviously I have no problems! I have never noticed anyone treat us differently and my in laws love me and our daughter.

Guess what, our child has the most beautiful skin tone I've seen ! Who cares anyway what they look like, a healthy child is all I wanted.

 

[Kath2003]

I have no problems with them, in the same way that I have no problem with a short person dating a tall person, a person with blue eyes dating a person with brown eyes etc.

To be honest, I never thought about it. It would never cross my mind. That said, I've never had a boyfriend who wasn't white. I have, however, had a boyfriend who was VERY blonde, to the point where he only had to look out the window at sunshine to get sunburnt. I can sit in the sun all day without burning, despite being white.

 

[MosMom]

I am about as white as you can get and my husband is Native American. My racist grandfather used to call him a mexican sometimes and would pound his hand against his mouth when DH would walk in. Other than that, the only time we encountered any sort of comments was a woman that asked what my daughter was. She has a beautiful darker skin tone and obviously I'm pasty white so things didn't add up in her head I'm guessing? There about a million other ways to ask other than "What is your daughter" though.

 

[hlane]

No problem here....I am white, DH is black. We've been married 11 years, have two wonderful sons.

 

[Independent]

My Dfi says we should all mix it up until we're all the same color as Halle Berry.

Anyway, I was sitting talking to the grandma (younger grandma) and she started complaining in disgust about the interracial couples she'd seen that day

Maybe that is why its harder for older people to accept interracial marriages. Its a combination of the way they were raised and plain ignorance.

I think JunieJay hit it on the head. It depends on the way they were raised.

My 75 year old mother was raised in Europe under Nazi occupation. Our family was Catholic, but my grandmother's basement was a safehouse for fleeing Jews. So, my mother witnessed first hand what horrors discrimination could bring about.

Last November, we were sitting some rides out and just people watching. This 75 year old woman was actually delighted to see all the mixed families walking by. She mentioned that she hoped that our grandchildren's grandchildren would live in a world that was so mixed that race no longer existed.

However, I cannot imagine a similar aged person raised in different circumstances, say the deep south of the US, having the same viewpoints.

Different parts of the world, different viewpoints. You can't blame the person for being a product of the environment. Let's just hope that each of our successive generations continues to make strides in acceptance as we have seen in our generation. Just think of us in 40 or 50 years sitting on that bench. Hopefully we can be more open-minded to the world around us

Edited to add: If that British accented, hunky carpenter from TLC would knock on my door someday, I think I might do an old fashioned swoon. Does that mean I am ok with interracial relationships?

 

[MerryPoppins]

I have no problem with interracial relationships. My good friend in college, married her boyfriend from high school and college. She was fair skinned and he was black. He was as nice as could be and very handsome. They made the sweetest couple. Unfortunately, several years later (and two darling daughters) they found that their relationship couldn't handle the strain that people put on them and their girls weren't treated well by other kids at school. I guess a lot of people in the south still aren't ready to accept that we're all the same inside. I taught my kids to look beyond the color of someone's skin.

Now, would I be happy if one of my kids wanted to marry an African-American? I'd be cautious and want them to think long and hard. NOT because I'd love the person they had chosen any less than if they were light-skinned, but because I know how people here can be. I've seen firsthand what it can do to a loving couple. I'd want them to be sure but I'd open my heart and my arms the same way I would to anyone else.

Hispanic or Native American mixed relationship seems to be more accepted here, so I wouldn't worry quite as much, but I'd still want them to be really sure. But then again, I guess that's good advice for any marriage, right? I hope the day is coming when this won't even be a topic of discussion and no one will pay attention. I can dream.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

Wow! I voted i'm in one myself. It's wierd! I never really think of it at all! I can't believe it's an issue for some people??? The thought never crosses my mind, unless i'm with FILs family where I feel the tension and I have also overheard comments with other ILs family members too. (Not necessarily about me, but those oh so nice words people call hispanics! )

I'm Mexican and DH is White and we have 2 going on 3 kids. I really don't care what people do with their lives, i'm happy and DH is happy and I hope we can raise our children to fall in love with whomever they are happy with and will take care of them too Love is a wonderful thing, when there are no restrictions put on it

 

[Rock'n Robin]

I said I don't have a problem with it. BIL is a pasty white Irish boy (DH's family is Irish/Italian/Polish) and his wife is hispanic. My nieces go from pasty white to totally hispanic looking.
I have never been attracted to someone outside of my own race, though. Not even one iota. The area where I grew up (and still live) is the NW Ohio suburbs and it is overwhelmingly white. There are maybe 10 black kids in my DD's high school.
I honestly don't know what I would do if one of my girls had an interracial relationship. I worry more about how they are treated than what the boy would look like. I know men in some cultures treat women like property. I know one hispanic senior this year who already has babies with 3 different girls, although I realize he does not stand for all hispanic men. I also would not want them to marry into a culture where women have to cover themselves, or be subservient to the man all the time. I don't think I could handle a son-in-law who perpetuates the "ghetto" stereotype with big chains and way oversized jersey shirts and baggy pants--and believe me, that could be a white boy as well as boy of another culture. As a teacher, boys who act like that drive me nuts.
Robin M.

 

[Ampris]

Being the product of an interracial marriage, I have no problem at all with them. Mom is from Tennessee and white, Dad is from Mexico; my three siblings all ended up Hispanic looking, and I'm as pale as a Netherlander, albeit with dark brown hair. I find myself more often attracted to black or Hispanic guys than white, and that's just my preference. There's never been a problem with it for me, and if my parents know they probably don't/wouldn't care. (I don't usually go around announcing who I crush on. )

There aren't many reasons I can see not to be in a loving relationship, and race has to be one of the slightest and most ridiculous. It's just pigmentation, for goodness' sake! I feel very, very lucky to have been born in an era and raised in a manner where this (or any race issue, for that matter) just simply isn't a problem; it never has been, and never will be. The only instance of racism that has ever directly impacted our life, even if only in a small way, is a homeschool organization that my parents told us didn't approve of their marriage and looked down on us for that reason alone. It was bizarre- the only time I'd ever known about racism was in books and movies, and it was happening right there, to us! I'm exceedingly glad that no one in our family ever had a problem with us and that we've never had to experience real discrimination first hand. (Although it does make it that much more depressing to hear about it happening to other people. )

Also, I agree with the person who mentioned that the word 'race' in this context doesn't make any sense. Human is the race, and the different appearances and colors are just minor details that vary by region. It would make sense if talking about humans in relationships with non-humans, though. This is something I've begun wondering about lately, too. If we ever make contact with an intelligent species and some of us just happen to fall in love with said species, how badly would people object to this? If they already object to relationships among members of their own species, how would they feel about human/non-human relationships? (Assuming, of course, that they've never seen Beauty and the Beast.)

 

[Angrypenguin]

Just thought I'd throw my two cents in as well!

I'm in an interracial relationship (I'm Asian, she's Irish/English) and to be honest, it was difficult at the beginning. Her parents weren't fans, and my Mom wanted me to settle down with a nice Chinese girl . However, I'm a stubborn guy (my girlfriend can attest to that) and we stuck to our guns, and now after 4 years of dating our parents are pretty much okay with it.

My main concern now is after we get married and if we have a daughter. Have you seen all the bi-racial White/Asian women in the world? I swear every single one is a supermodel. I'm going to have to chase off adolescent boys with baseball bat!

 

[lowie]

it's funny that about a year ago my mother and i were discussing this.

my parents grew up in a time that people just stuck with their 'own kind' meaning jews hung out with jews, italians with italians, irish with irish, etc.

my sister became a widow at a young age, left with 2 very young children. i met this amazingly gorgeous black guy, with a sweeeeeet english accent and wanted to set him up with my sister. i told her about him and she didn't think that our parents would approve of a mixed relationship.

it was a few minutes later that we realized that her KIDS are mixed!!! lmao... we're russian jews and their dad was a cuban (no religion but his family are something that the name escapes me at the moment).

up until that point it never even entered our minds, her dh and his family were just such warm and wonderful people it didn't matter one bit.

later we broached the subject with mom and she pretty much told us that we were way wrong about her. she just wants us to be happy and couldn't care less what race or religion person we love as long as they treat us well.

proved us completely wrong!