Trip to Disneyland as Hanukkah gift- help!

[rentayenta]

So....we just bought a boat, super fun, but totally not planned.....

Pre-boat, we were going to surprise the kids with a trip to So Cal for Thanksgiving Nov 23-Nov 27 at my BFF's house and then 4 days/nights at the GCV and Disneyland....Nov 27-Dec 1....

Hannukah is 8 nights; begins Dec 21, same date as middle DD's bday......

Generally for Hanukkah the kids get a big gift the first night and they get progressively smaller. By the last night it's nail polish and Pokemon cards.

DH and I think that instead of more stuff for Hanukkah, we should do the trip instead. I mean really, my kids don't need more stuff......

I think we should give them the choice: gifts or Disneyland. My middle DD will choose Disneyland for sure. My youngest won't love the idea until we get there and I cannot predict what my oldest will think.....she's a clothes hog...DH says we should keep it as a surprise....

Would you surprise them and say we're celebrating Hanukkah early (they won't find out until the day before the trip)? We'll still do the dinner, candle lighting, and celebrate the holiday however the gift component will be left out....Or would you get thier opinions and let them decide? Majority rules.

Even as a child I would choose a trip over gifts.....

I think the memories are SO much more important.



We already have the DVC reservations but will have to cancel by July 31 in order to bank those points.

 

[DisneylandForever]

I think because the kids have been to Disney slightly more than once, and their mom is, well, you, the trip probably wouldn't be much of a surprise.


I would get their opinions, Mrs. Vox.

 

[rentayenta]

I think because the kids have been to Disney slightly more than once, and their mom is, well, you, the trip probably wouldn't be much of a surprise.


I would get their opinions, Mrs. Vox.

No f-ing way! Michael isn't buying me on the no-gift thing but I think I can do it.

 

[mrswh]

I would not ask their opinions. That would be unfair to the middle DD who you say would prefer Disneyland. What if the others outvote her? Plus, if you believe that the memories are more important than more things, then teach that to them by doing.

Just tell them their gift this year is a trip to DL in November! Yay! Fun!! Rah rah!! You can still get them nail polish and Pokemon in December, right? They can give each other gifts. And don't you have friends/family that give them gifts? I'm getting the sense that they're not exactly going to be deprived.


I'm not so sure about the surprise part, though. I don't think you can surprise them and then say "oh, by the way, no Hanukkah gifts this year." I'd tell them in advance (I think that kids LOVE to plan and anticipate anyway).

Just my .02.

 

[rentayenta]

I would not ask their opinions. That would be unfair to the middle DD who you say would prefer Disneyland. What if the others outvote her? Plus, if you believe that the memories are more important than more things, then teach that to them by doing.

Just tell them their gift this year is a trip to DL in November! Yay! Fun!! Rah rah!! You can still get them nail polish and Pokemon in December, right? They can give each other gifts. And don't you have friends/family that give them gifts? I'm getting the sense that they're not exactly going to be deprived.


I'm not so sure about the surprise part, though. I don't think you can surprise them and then say "oh, by the way, no Hanukkah gifts this year." I'd tell them in advance (I think that kids LOVE to plan and anticipate anyway).

Just my .02.

That's really good insight, thank you! Voting would be unfair and my middle DD would be crushed to think she was this close to going to Disneyland. Glad you pointed that out.

They actually do not receive gifts from anyone but us. Their grandparents aren't Jewish and get them a little something for Christmas so Disneyland really would be their gift. But you are correct, they won't be deprived in any way.

I need to work a realistic trip budget. I have 7/31 to make a final decision.

 

[Mama Who]

I would not ask their opinions. That would be unfair to the middle DD who you say would prefer Disneyland. What if the others outvote her? Plus, if you believe that the memories are more important than more things, then teach that to them by doing

Wouldn't it be equally unfair to the other two to do Disneyland when they prefer more traditional presents?

OP should do what she thinks best, but I think "fair" isn't really the point here. Unless all the kids agree it will be "unfair" to someone. My inclination would be not to do this without buy in from all three kids, but that's just me and my family.

 

[Minnie Loves Mickey]

Is there anyway you can go on the Trip in Dec. on the actual 8 days of Hannukah? They might like that.

 

[jernysgirl]

If you do the trip instead of presents, I would make sure to tell your kids that, but I would wait until you arrive (to avoid negative attitudes on the car ride there). By that point maybe the excitement of being there will offset any disappointment about the gifts.

Then, in lieu of presents when Hanukkah actually does arrive (since the excitement of their trip will be over), maybe give them memories instead of presents. Think about maybe giving them each a picture for each day of the holiday that shows them experiencing something fun at DLR (maybe on a small scrapbook page) and you could include a little note as to what they were doing, how much fun you had together or how much you loved making that memory together. You could even buy postcards and do something similar. Then at the end of the eight nights, put all the pictures or scrapbook pages together in a book and it does double duty as a Hanukkah present and a souvenir, (and you will still be teaching them that memories are more important that things).

 

[rentayenta]

Is there anyway you can go on the Trip in Dec. on the actual 8 days of Hannukah? They might like that.

No. I have GCV reservations for those dates, work has been coordinated, dog kennel etc. I'm sure they'd love it though! I would!

 

[Guatemommy]

I think the problem is if your kids are used to getting 'big' things for Hanukah and something each night, it will be hard for them to understand that the trip they took weeks ago was their Hanukah present.

If they dont know about the trip, they may be planning a big present in their head and would be disappointed if they realized it was not an option because of the trip.

Me, personally, even as a child, I would have loved a trip as my hanukah present, but kids today are different.

If you didnt make the trip a surprise and let them know in advance that the trip is the 'big' present, then you would avoid present-let down later. And I would still give little presents each night like nail polish, etc.

Another idea if you want to still keep the surprise, is to tll them that since you bought the boat, presents for hanukah will all be small this yr - not one big item - then surprise them with the trip?

 

[rentayenta]

Those are great ideas!!! On the 8th night we give to a charity so maybe this year we could find one that grants Disney trips to ill children and keep with Disney theme.

If you do the trip instead of presents, I would make sure to tell your kids that, but I would wait until you arrive (to avoid negative attitudes on the car ride there). By that point maybe the excitement of being there will offset any disappointment about the gifts.

Then, in lieu of presents when Hanukkah actually does arrive (since the excitement of their trip will be over), maybe give them memories instead of presents. Think about maybe giving them each a picture for each day of the holiday that shows them experiencing something fun at DLR (maybe on a small scrapbook page) and you could include a little note as to what they were doing, how much fun you had together or how much you loved making that memory together. You could even buy postcards and do something similar. Then at the end of the eight nights, put all the pictures or scrapbook pages together in a book and it does double duty as a Hanukkah present and a souvenir, (and you will still be teaching them that memories are more important that things).

 

[rentayenta]

for the insights! I would have chosen a trip too. Little things each night is not an option. DH grew up in a frugal household so he's a work in progress Part of the deal of giving a trip is that we won't do any gifts. his folks had money and were/are painfully frugal still.


I hope I haven't given the impression that my children are ungrateful. They are terrific kids. This would just be a change in tradition.

I think the problem is if your kids are used to getting 'big' things for Hanukah and something each night, it will be hard for them to understand that the trip they took weeks ago was their Hanukah present.

If they dont know about the trip, they may be planning a big present in their head and would be disappointed if they realized it was not an option because of the trip.

Me, personally, even as a child, I would have loved a trip as my hanukah present, but kids today are different.

If you didnt make the trip a surprise and let them know in advance that the trip is the 'big' present, then you would avoid present-let down later. And I would still give little presents each night like nail polish, etc.

Another idea if you want to still keep the surprise, is to tll them that since you bought the boat, presents for hanukah will all be small this yr - not one big item - then surprise them with the trip?

 

[MyYearWithTheMouse]

How unhappy do you think your older DD is going to be without the presents? Enough to make your whole trip miserable? I kind of feel like if you know that not all the kids are going to be onboard, then it's a lose-lose situation because at least one person is going to be unhappy. Perhaps it's best to make a parental executive decision. One Hanukkah without gifts never killed anyone . I know as a 14 year old I had to do plenty of things I would rather have not if given the choice, and sometimes I accidentally had fun there too .

 

[rentayenta]

How unhappy do you think your older DD is going to be without the presents? Enough to make your whole trip miserable? I kind of feel like if you know that not all the kids are going to be onboard, then it's a lose-lose situation because at least one person is going to be unhappy. Perhaps it's best to make a parental executive decision. One Hanukkah without gifts never killed anyone . I know as a 14 year old I had to do plenty of things I would rather have not if given the choice, and sometimes I accidentally had fun there too .

Oh, she will be fine. She knows better. They love Disney and love our trips and that is a lot of reason we bought DVC; it's after I am a little worried about. After the thrill is gone ......I think I may be overthinking it. I like the idea of no options.


Again, they are really grateful kids but kids are kids and teens are even worse.


jernysgirl has some great ideas!

 

[groovygirl927]

If you do the trip instead of presents, I would make sure to tell your kids that, but I would wait until you arrive (to avoid negative attitudes on the car ride there). By that point maybe the excitement of being there will offset any disappointment about the gifts.

Then, in lieu of presents when Hanukkah actually does arrive (since the excitement of their trip will be over), maybe give them memories instead of presents. Think about maybe giving them each a picture for each day of the holiday that shows them experiencing something fun at DLR (maybe on a small scrapbook page) and you could include a little note as to what they were doing, how much fun you had together or how much you loved making that memory together. You could even buy postcards and do something similar. Then at the end of the eight nights, put all the pictures or scrapbook pages together in a book and it does double duty as a Hanukkah present and a souvenir, (and you will still be teaching them that memories are more important that things).

I was thinking along these same lines of a scrapbbok. This is a great idea. Everynight a little memory of the trip and the scrapbook would be a great memory.

 

[LisainCalifornia]

I think I wouldn't do the "no gifts". Instead I would say that we are going to have a smaller celebration, due to the family trip. You could buy more modest gifts (even start now, so the cost is spread out) and give those instead. It really is the thought that counts, so if you get thoughtful yet reasonably priced gifts, then there is no reason to say NO gifts at all. This way they still have the traditional experience of opening the gifts. Most child love their traditions, and I don't think this has to be an "either-or" solution. One year when I was little we had difficult time financially, yet my mom still found a way to get us several lower cost gifts. Those gifts meant a great deal to me as a child, because I had worried that our financial difficulties would mean "no gifts to open on Christmas". This wasn't the case due to some creative gift buying on my mom's part. You could find things now that are on sale--or just keep your eyes open for gifts in the coming months. I realize that your situation is different as you are not in a time of financial hardship, but you get what I am saying.

 

[rentayenta]

I was thinking along these same lines of a scrapbbok. This is a great idea. Everynight a little memory of the trip and the scrapbook would be a great memory.

I like this idea too. I'm all about the memories.

I think I wouldn't do the "no gifts". Instead I would say that we are going to have a smaller celebration, due to the family trip. You could buy more modest gifts (even start now, so the cost is spread out) and give those instead. It really is the thought that counts, so if you get thoughtful yet reasonably priced gifts, then there is no reason to say NO gifts at all. This way they still have the traditional experience of opening the gifts. Most child love their traditions, and I don't think this has to be an "either-or" solution. One year when I was little we had difficult time financially, yet my mom still found a way to get us several lower cost gifts. Those gifts meant a great deal to me as a child, because I had worried that our financial difficulties would mean "no gifts to open on Christmas". This wasn't the case due to some creative gift buying on my mom's part. You could find things now that are on sale--or just keep your eyes open for gifts in the coming months. I realize that your situation is different as you are not in a time of financial hardship, but you get what I am saying.

I totally get what you're say but getting DH on board is another story. Every year, since having children, we do the don't-go-overboard-dance. I like to go overboard, him not so much. There is no way he'll go for even tiny thoughtful gifts. We each have our thing. He's an amazing father truly. Our backgrounds are different. Compromise is key. I understand the trip being the gifts.

 

[jernysgirl]

jernysgirl has some great ideas!

I was thinking along these same lines of a scrapbbok. This is a great idea. Everynight a little memory of the trip and the scrapbook would be a great memory.

So glad you liked my ideas! I really hope that you and your DH can work something out that will make all of you happy.

 

[rentayenta]

So glad you liked my ideas! I really hope that you and your DH can work something out that will make all of you happy.

We have until 7/31 to decide. DH is all for the trip but then no gifts. I say that knowing a 9 day trip to So Cal and Disneyland is an amazing gift. Just no gifts on the traditional nights. Your idea is great. Plus Hanukkah is less than 3 weeks after the trip so it's not like we're taking a trip in July and counting it is their present. Guess I'm more worried about my ability to stick to the no-gifts rule but that's another thread completely. Is there a marriage/relationship board here on the DIS?

 

[ddwlms]

I hope I haven't given the impression that my children are ungrateful. They are terrific kids. This would just be a change in tradition.

Your kids do not seem ungrateful They are kids.

I didn't read all the post, so hopefully I'm not being completely repititious, but we've had two experiences with this. One year, for Christmas, they got the early gift of going to DL. -we went to DL the 2nd or 3rd week of December. Christmas with no actual presents for them to unwrap was pretty hard on them. My oldest, whom I would have expected to be the most likely to not care, flat out said the she would have preferred presents to unwrap. --It just wasn't Christmas with out them.

The second time we gave DL the trip was in January. So the present they got to unrap was tickets and itiniery. Also, after the first episode, I splurged on some cheap gifts to make sure that they had a few things to unwrap. The second time was pulled off much better. -I think you really gotta talk DH into at least some dollar store prizes.