Tree's for "needy" kids

[LindsayDunn228]

Can I just insert a question here? What good will an Ipod do for a child who doesn't have a computer and no access to one?

Just came to my mind.

 

[U2_rocks!]

Why dont these kids deserve an item as expensive as you would get your own children? ...

It's not that they don't deserve it ..... in my case it's because my kids aren't getting a $600 playstation b/c I don't see the value in it for us. i.e. I find that ridiculously expensive for a gift, even for my own kids! So no other kid is going to get that from me!

Also, it's not just the initial outlay that you have to look at - it's the ongoing costs to use the product as intended i.e. for gaming systems you need games, you need batteries or increased electric bills, for iPods you need a computer, increased electric bills, internet access to download songs etc. I'd never give an iPod or gaming system to anyone as a gift unless I knew that it was something that they could maintain and use i.e. they could afford to run the thing! With the angel trees maybe they can if the parent has put down the item on the tag - after all, you would think they would have thought through the consequences of having such an item? Then again, maybe they're not even aware - they've just heard their kid mention it and really don't know that much about it.

I just feel that those things are considered "luxury" items for us, and we don't even own any of them ourselves - how can I justify spending that sort of money on anyone else? My money could stretch so much further and buy several charitable gifts if I don't have to blow my entire charity budget on one item for 1 kid! I don't blame the kids for wanting those things, but the reality is that there aren't that many people who will be able to give them those things. If they want to ask then I have no problem with that - but they also need to realize that it's a tall order, and they may not get what they asked for. If they want their tag to be chosen, they may have to list a few more realistic options along with the high ticket item.

JMHO.

 

[mickeyfan2]

May I ask what the limit is? We've contemplated adopting a family either alone or most likely as a group, and I'd be curious to hear what the amount is. Unfortunately it can't be this year as money is really tight between my two unexpected surgeries and DH getting hurt at work (run into with a forklift) and missing work, but I'd love to know for the future, plus it would help me plan who I could ask to go in on it with us. Thanks

Our local chapter limits you to $500/family. As I said we always go over, get a small lecture and then get a new family the next year. The limit maybe different for your local SA. The limit is the maximum you are to spend, the actual amount can be less.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Can I just insert a question here? What good will an Ipod do for a child who doesn't have a computer and no access to one?

Just came to my mind.

Don't go there. Trust me.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

You missed my point. Life is full of reality, especially for these kids who most likely go through so much.

Reality is having mac and cheese for dinner for a month because it was on sale at target for .10 a box (see budget board). You can still dream that you had a large piece of chicken and a big green salad to go with it. It's not reality though and you know it. Is it stupid to wish for something more?

This time of year is about dreaming big. Thinking beyond the logical (santa is NOT logical) and into the surprises of life.

I wish I could give a million needy kids a million expensive gifts, they will treasure them more than the ones who are bought these "gifts" on a regular basis.

People are told "no" every day. It's those who dream big that find away to rise above. In my field, if I remained realistic, stopped dreaming big and stopped waiting for a miracle, I think families would be devastated. Instead, I get to see small miracles every day.

You have a point--though it doesn't justify the pricey gifts being requested.

Mac and Cheese daily for a month does not equate to "deserves a playstation".

That is screwed up priorities if you do believe that.

I can tell my child know--it would be wise if trees that contain these gift items on the tags...would be a bit more realistic with their recipients. For example, a WISH gift (the expensive stuff if they must request it), a REALISTIC gift, and perhaps a gift of NEED.

If times are soo difficult for any recipient that they would be disappointed they didn't get a gift of luxury--then perhaps they weren't so needy after all.

You grant wishes b/c you want to--but charities that support or encourage this behavior--is creating false hope.

My small church group adopted a family one year. The stuff they were asking would break your heart. They were thankful for whatever they could get. We were able to give a wonderful Christmas for them. Had they been asking for the latest widget techno-game system and expensive luxury items--it would have felt more indulgent than helpful and we wouldnt have helped.

I think that is the beef in the OP. It is fine to dream and ask--but when it is the only thing you ask for...something is up with that.

Call it what you wish.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Ok I am going to say again, if you take my post along with my quoted one and read the intention iw as not saying that nice =expensive. I think that most people understood what I meant. I will apologize for the confusion this has apparently brought maybe i will say it again.

Why dont these kids deserve an item as expensive as you would get your own children? ...
Is that better, does it spell out what i meant better? Ok, now that most of us can move on from this, instead of picking at what was not definitively said,


This is strictly your OPINION on gifts, not that of everybody on this board. Those are your personal feelings on gifts and you will donate to charity based on those beliefs.

I agree with her. Just like YOUR opinion is strictly YOUR opinion.

Haven't read through all 13 pages--but refusing to succomb to materialism and indulging requests for $$$$ items when there are others that woudl be content with a less materialistic request....Isn't a bad thing nor does it make one cheap.

And for me--I don't spend $600 on my kids for Christmas so I woudln't be able to pick those gift tags. I have to pick tags that are within my budget.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I didn't say that. And for the sake of not arguing I will leave it at that.

You implied it--no arguing is necessary.




"No way I am getting an expensive gift for a needy child"


your response (paraphrased)

"So they don't deserve something nice"



You equated expensive and nice whether intentional or not.

 

[jemiaule]

I have seen (or someone I know has) my daughters(pl) names on a tree. HMMM...maybe they dont really exist since they just make up names. My DDs both have very unusual names so the chances of duplicates are slim. Now an SA in Georgia perhaps (as an example) may do things a bit differently.

Apparently they do.

I am in California and was at Denny's last night for dinner and there was a Salvation Army giving tree there.

On the tree the angel tags had no names; they either said Boy or Girl and listed the child's age. There were no actual names on the tags.

 

[dodukes]

I agree with her. Just like YOUR opinion is strictly YOUR opinion.

Haven't read through all 13 pages--but refusing to succomb to materialism and indulging requests for $$$$ items when there are others that woudl be content with a less materialistic request....Isn't a bad thing nor does it make one cheap.

And for me--I don't spend $600 on my kids for Christmas so I woudln't be able to pick those gift tags. I have to pick tags that are within my budget.

First I never called anybody cheap. And if you want to talk about implying stuff as you do when quoting my other post, then dont "IMPLY" that i called someone cheap. I didnt. You answered your own question. Just because you cant afford to pick an expensive gift tag doesnt mean that that kid shouldnt ask for. You may not spend $600 on your kids but other do and then some. That is an easy order at our house, no problem. Doesnt mena we are greedy and spoiled, that is just our norm. Just like the norm at your hosue is less but i am not going to go to a tree and say "oh gosh that kid only asked for a sweater, what is wrong with him". People ask for all sorts of things and for a kid nowadays there is nothing wrong with asking for what everybody else has that you would enjoy as well.
Its unfair to call them greedy (you dont know them) for it and what i was trying to point out but apparently everyone missed except the one poster was that the general attitude i see in this thread is that these kids shouldnt get or that you personally wouldnt give them an expensive gift because they are aghast "needy". It had nothing to do with whether yo could affod one or not, it was just the fact that they were needy and they shouldnt get it. Go back and read thru all 13 pages instead of just picking at a couple and you may see what i mean, you may not, that is fine. That is what i picked up frm most posters. Because it wasnt mostly stated like i woudlnt give them that cuz i cant afford to, it was the attitude taht i quoted, "i wouldtn give a needy kid an expensive item. And expensive can mena different things to many people, $20 may sound fine to you but that is expensive to me.

Like i said before and even you mentioned, everyone wil give based on their beliefs, i have no problem adopting a famiy and getting the kid a gameboy, you may, that is fine, thats why you willnot adopt a family who wants one and i will, but there no reason to think that they shouldnt get one because they are needy. That was my point that i was trying to get accross.

 

[ZPT1022]

Our local chapter limits you to $500/family. As I said we always go over, get a small lecture and then get a new family the next year. The limit maybe different for your local SA. The limit is the maximum you are to spend, the actual amount can be less.

Thanks Mickeyfan, that sounds reasonable, especially for a large family. Definitely sounds like a lot of fun to get a few friends together and do this. Hopefully next year no financial surprises for us and we will be able to do this. Thank you for the information

 

[mickeyfan2]

Thanks Mickeyfan, that sounds reasonable, especially for a large family. Definitely sounds like a lot of fun to get a few friends together and do this. Hopefully next year no financial surprises for us and we will be able to do this. Thank you for the information

Your welcome.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Just a side note: There are many famlies that never get adopted each year. Last year in our county SA had 53 families adopted. Our family this year is #620. So if we got the last family # (which I doubt) less than 10% of them got adopted this year.

The reason for the limit is this high number of unadopted families. They feel if you could afford to spend $1000 on your family the money would bring more pleasure if it was split between two families and each got $500.

 

[goofygirl]

You missed my point. Life is full of reality, especially for these kids who most likely go through so much.

Reality is having mac and cheese for dinner for a month because it was on sale at target for .10 a box (see budget board). You can still dream that you had a large piece of chicken and a big green salad to go with it. It's not reality though and you know it. Is it stupid to wish for something more?

This time of year is about dreaming big. Thinking beyond the logical (santa is NOT logical) and into the surprises of life.

I wish I could give a million needy kids a million expensive gifts, they will treasure them more than the ones who are bought these "gifts" on a regular basis.

People are told "no" every day. It's those who dream big that find away to rise above. In my field, if I remained realistic, stopped dreaming big and stopped waiting for a miracle, I think families would be devastated. Instead, I get to see small miracles every day.

Dreaming can also lead to disappointment. I can dream of and wish for a Christmas bonus. If I don't get one, I'll get disappointed.

However, if I don't wish for and hope for a bonus, I won't get disappointed. And if I DO get a bonus, I'll be pleasantly surprised because I did not expect it or hope for it.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Dreaming can also lead to disappointment. I can dream of and wish for a Christmas bonus. If I don't get one, I'll get disappointed.

And worse yet your had already spent it.

 

[jekajekalynn]

I don't do "Angel trees" because of some of these stories I have heard before. I just donate to Salvation Army and TFT's.

And hey, if any of you generous folks who have no problems with donating XBox's, PS3's and whatnot want to donate a nice Coach bag to this college student for Christmas... pm me for an address. (j/k!)

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Dreaming can also lead to disappointment. I can dream of and wish for a Christmas bonus. If I don't get one, I'll get disappointed.

However, if I don't wish for and hope for a bonus, I won't get disappointed. And if I DO get a bonus, I'll be pleasantly surprised because I did not expect it or hope for it.

Good analogy GG!

 

[piglet50]

we like to participate but try to buy things that my kids would wear or want.
we are not "label" fanatics but like quality clothes that will hold up. Yes, i wear walmart clothes. i don't like to give knock off toys because sometimes they break easily. sometimes the kids just need to be like everyone else in at least one area of their lives.

 

[dustysky]

For those that say they do not do the angel tree but you give to SA, just so you know SA is one of the places who has the trees all over. As a matter fo fact the tree that got me thinking and posting was in fact a SA tree at Cracker Barrell. Just a little FYI.

 

[barkley]

yes some (more than you can imagine) are greedy. until you've experienced dozens of 'adopt a family's' pick through a delivery (in front of you) tossing a good portion on the ground or into the nearest trash can cursing- 'i did'nt ask for this sh.., where's the f'ing playstation i said my kid wanted?'-you have no idea.

when things got too confrontational for our volunteers and staff to do personal deliveries we moved to an 'office pick-up' system...until the neighbors complained of the discarded food, clothing and toys left destroyed (irate recipients stomped on them) in their yards. local merchants complained of recipeints walking out our doors and into theirs insisting that items (with gift tags still attached) be refunded to them for ready cash.

not all people in these programs are the 'bob cratchit/tiny tim' needy portrayed in charitable ads.

common sense tells you that if a family is in need of holiday assistance they are appreciative of any item provided and would not voluntarily list items that may preclude their being chosen by virtue of placing high end 'wishes' excessive by most standards of 'charitable works'.

 

[ZPT1022]

we like to participate but try to buy things that my kids would wear or want.
we are not "label" fanatics but like quality clothes that will hold up. Yes, i wear walmart clothes. i don't like to give knock off toys because sometimes they break easily. sometimes the kids just need to be like everyone else in at least one area of their lives.

My big concern with a lot of the knock off toys is that they seem to be the ones most prone to recalls for things like lead contamination, etc.... That being said, I have bought some for my kids- things like the set of baby doll clothes at Target- Cabbage Patch kid clothes are expensive, and I feel reasonably safe with fabric, more so than some of the other stuff.