Tree's for "needy" kids

[mickeyfan2]

I didn't say that. And for the sake of not arguing I will leave it at that.

But the person you quoted said expensive and you then said can't they get something nice!

There are many nice gifts that are not expensive - new winter coat when you live in the snowbelt, remote controlled car, skateboard, new sneakers, new clothes, barbie dolls.....

 

[barkley]

while well intentioned, some of the electronics (pricey or not) are just not practical for kids with parents who have very limited financial resources. a lap top is incredible-but if your household is struggling to meet even basic items of need it's not likely that getting internet services is going to be high on the list of priorities (or anything beyond the software that the computer comes loaded with). cd players and other hand held electronics take batteries-again not high on the list for purchases by the parents. most gaming systems come with maybe one game at most-buying or renting additional games are again not within everyone's means.

a nice/thoughfull gift is a gift that the recipeint can use-and gifting anyone with something to entails on-going costs to operate or use it should involve if the recipient is even remotely able to do that.

as for the question about the unselected 'angels' on the holiday tress-yes a large number don't get chosen every year-that's why many organizations don't have a process by which the kids are remotely involved or even aware of the application process. the parents sign up with ages/sex/size but are cautioned that it's not a given they will be selected-and encouraged not to tell children anything about it until the group can commit to serving them. one of the big reasons the whole 'gifting tree' concept was initiated (at least with groups i've worked with) was to find a mechanism to make suggestions to potential donors of what types of items are appropriate-it also helps to balance donations between age groups/genders (we used to get the bulk of stuff for the 5/6 year old range-not lots in the toddler or older kid range). because kids in social services cases can't have their names made public (and allot of people not in social services cases don't want their names advertised to the world as being 'in need') fictional names were created for the 'ornaments'-and the 'wishes' were fabricated because the groups did'nt want any child or parent to associate an unfufilled holiday assistance request with a 'wish that did not come true'.

i can only assume (and hope) that the groups that do real wish ornaments with the kid's input have some kind of back up plan to ensure those kids are gifted in some way should their ornament remain on the tree.

 

[keenercam]

I am so proud that the student congress at my daughter's campus was buying gifts for needy children. She is floor senator and was thrilled that her end-of-the-semester-poor dorm-mates donated $35 for her to buy gifts for the 10yo boy. I took her to "five below" where she got 2 knex race cars, a puzzle, and a magnetix game set. All for $19. She is looking forward to finding more toys for him.

 

[barkley]

kinda off topic but i have to ask-how is it possible to have 7 children in 4 years with none of the pregnancies resulting in multiples? by my count even if each child was conceived the week the previous child was born it would take 63 months or over 5 years.

 

[goofygirl]

I didnt want to post on this thread because i didnt want to get into arguments but over and over this is what i keep seeing here and i wonder..

why?

Are they not as deserving of a nice gift as your own children or other children who are not needy?

There's plenty of nice gifts that are not expensive. I don't think any children- needy or not should get a $600 Playstation. The max to spend on a gift should be $100, tops.
I had a happy childhood without gifts that cost hundreds of dollars. It can be done. If I wanted something that was very expensive, I waited until I was 16, got a part time job, and saved up for it.

This may sound like I'm "uncharitable" but I'm not. At church we collected mittens and scarves. These are going to teens at a teen shelter for runaways. These kids have real problems. They are not runaways because they don't like Mommy and Daddy's rules. They are running from homes that have physical abuse, drugs, neglectful parents and so on. These are needy people. And the last thing they need is an expensive video game.

 

[Crankyshank]

I'm ok with kids asking for the expensive things. They're kids after all. Poverty doesn't automatically instill a desire to only have necessities and to not hope for something more frivolous.

That said, I no longer donate to angel tree type charities. After volunteering for a local version, I witnessed too much scamming and greed on behalf of the recipients and the organization itself. I didn't know about Walgreens trees for the elderly. I will swing by one on the way home and check it out.

 

[dodukes]

There's plenty of nice gifts that are not expensive. I don't think any children- needy or not should get a $600 Playstation. The max to spend on a gift should be $100, tops.
I had a happy childhood without gifts that cost hundreds of dollars. It can be done. If I wanted something that was very expensive, I waited until I was 16, got a part time job, and saved up for it.

This may sound like I'm "uncharitable" but I'm not. At church we collected mittens and scarves. These are going to teens at a teen shelter for runaways. These kids have real problems. They are not runaways because they don't like Mommy and Daddy's rules. They are running from homes that have physical abuse, drugs, neglectful parents and so on. These are needy people. And the last thing they need is an expensive video game.

Ok I am going to say again, if you take my post along with my quoted one and read the intention iw as not saying that nice =expensive. I think that most people understood what I meant. I will apologize for the confusion this has apparently brought maybe i will say it again.

Why dont these kids deserve an item as expensive as you would get your own children? ...
Is that better, does it spell out what i meant better? Ok, now that most of us can move on from this, instead of picking at what was not definitively said,

There's plenty of nice gifts that are not expensive. I don't think any children- needy or not should get a $600 Playstation. The max to spend on a gift should be $100, tops.
I had a happy childhood without gifts that cost hundreds of dollars. It can be done. If I wanted something that was very expensive, I waited until I was 16, got a part time job, and saved up for it.

This is strictly your OPINION on gifts, not that of everybody on this board. Those are your personal feelings on gifts and you will donate to charity based on those beliefs.

 

[chell]

We had a tree at work that had names on it. A total of about 10 families or 50 tags (small workplace). Our Dept took and entire family to do. Mom, Dad and 2 sons. Each tag has a spot for sizes and wants:

Shirt
Pants
Shoes
Jacket
Toy

Our family was very frugal with what they asked for, but the fathers tag was really odd. His pant size was listed as 36x34. His shoe size was listed as 6.5 and he requested warm work boot type of shoe. We thought a 6.5 size was very small for a grown man so we had our HR dept call to verfiy since we did not know who they were.

When HR called, the man got very quiet then started to cry. He said he lied on his tag and were they going to not donate to his family? and he was very sorry.

HR asked why he lied and just asked for his correct size and that we would still donate and not to be upset.

He lied because his oldest son needed sneakers for gym and asked for those on his tag so he was asking for warm boots for his son to wear to walk to school. He asked for a size anda half bigger than the child took so he could wear extra socks this year and get 2 years out of them with any luck and maybe the other son could grown into them too.

Needless to say, the kid got sneakers, snow boots(for play) and work boots (to walk to school) and we got dad his own sneakers and boots. We made sure that family had a very good Christmas.

It brings tears to my eyes even now thinking of how the dad was more worried about his sons feet than his own.

Oh my! It brought tears to my eyes just reading this. What a wonderful dad he is to put his son before himself. It is great that your workplace does that.

 

[chell]

Thank you for the heads-up! I will check my local Walgreens!

When I worked in geriatric psychiatry, one of our employees collected donations every year for people on the Meals On Wheels route (primarily the elderly poor). I felt privileged to donate!

Sorry if this has already been mentioned but many nursing homes also have the trees. Most of the people are asking for lotions, shampoo, tissues, etc.

 

[WeirdEyes]

We had a tree at work that had names on it. A total of about 10 families or 50 tags (small workplace). Our Dept took and entire family to do. Mom, Dad and 2 sons. Each tag has a spot for sizes and wants:

Shirt
Pants
Shoes
Jacket
Toy

Our family was very frugal with what they asked for, but the fathers tag was really odd. His pant size was listed as 36x34. His shoe size was listed as 6.5 and he requested warm work boot type of shoe. We thought a 6.5 size was very small for a grown man so we had our HR dept call to verfiy since we did not know who they were.

When HR called, the man got very quiet then started to cry. He said he lied on his tag and were they going to not donate to his family? and he was very sorry.

HR asked why he lied and just asked for his correct size and that we would still donate and not to be upset.

He lied because his oldest son needed sneakers for gym and asked for those on his tag so he was asking for warm boots for his son to wear to walk to school. He asked for a size anda half bigger than the child took so he could wear extra socks this year and get 2 years out of them with any luck and maybe the other son could grown into them too.

Needless to say, the kid got sneakers, snow boots(for play) and work boots (to walk to school) and we got dad his own sneakers and boots. We made sure that family had a very good Christmas.

It brings tears to my eyes even now thinking of how the dad was more worried about his sons feet than his own.

That story brings tears to my eyes also! How sweet!

 

[mickeyfan2]

Why dont these kids deserve an item as expensive as you would get your own children? ...

Actually each kid of the 6 kids in our AAF is getting more number of gifts and the total cost more per kid than any other person DH and I are giving gifts to except for two people. One person is my sister and she will be getting money to help her pay next semester's tuition. The other is our CI daughter and she is getting about twice as much spent on her. She is a teen and things cost more for a teen than 10 and under.

 

[Pineapple Princess]

This thread made me go and check out the Angel tree at Wal*mart. All of the kids on the tree are in foster homes locally. I perused the names and ages and wishes for a few minutes. I picked a 12 year old girl who had simple wishes. All of the rest of the angels wanted things like Wii games, playstation2's and other very expensive high ticket items.
I wonder what these kids are going to end up getting since there is only a week left to turn in items.

 

[Lachesis00]

I am a little bugged by donating to needy families only because my work adopted a family a few years ago. This was back in the days there were a lot of online specials, you could do sites to earn points/gift certificates ect... There was no spending limit. It was a dad, mom, 2 girls and a boy, the ages were like 9, 6 and 3?

So we got awesome deals. We bought probably 4-5x more stuff because of all of the specials. The money was spent wisely. We bought a bunch of food (not just for the holidays), clothes, toys, stuff the parents might need through out the year, toiletries, we really went all out.

We found out after wrapping and boxing up all of the gifts (which we were told to wrap each person's gift in different colored paper), whoever the family was through (I want to say Salvation Army, but it's been a while), decided the one family got too much and ended up opening up the wrapped gifts, separating all of stuff between 6 families.

While we were thrilled to be helping out folks who needed it, most people at my work were bothered by the gifts being opened and distributed between six families. A lot of thought was put in for this one family. We specifically were given these names/ages for one family and so we really put thought into it (I think they might have given some minor details-- parents hobbies and such...). At the same time I know there are a lot of folks who need assistance.

I am shocked reading about people taking advantage of the giving trees and such! I honestly would have never drempt of people doing this.

 

[dodukes]

I am a little bugged by donating to needy families only because my work adopted a family a few years ago. This was back in the days there were a lot of online specials, you could do sites to earn points/gift certificates ect... There was no spending limit. It was a dad, mom, 2 girls and a boy, the ages were like 9, 6 and 3?

So we got awesome deals. We bought probably 4-5x more stuff because of all of the specials. The money was spent wisely. We bought a bunch of food (not just for the holidays), clothes, toys, stuff the parents might need through out the year, toiletries, we really went all out.

We found out after wrapping and boxing up all of the gifts (which we were told to wrap each person's gift in different colored paper), whoever the family was through (I want to say Salvation Army, but it's been a while), decided the one family got too much and ended up opening up the wrapped gifts, separating all of stuff between 6 families.

While we were thrilled to be helping out folks who needed it, most people at my work were bothered by the gifts being opened and distributed between six families. A lot of thought was put in for this one family. We specifically were given these names/ages for one family and so we really put thought into it (I think they might have given some minor details-- parents hobbies and such...). At the same time I know there are a lot of folks who need assistance.

I am shocked reading about people taking advantage of the giving trees and such! I honestly would have never drempt of people doing this.

Wow I would be livid if they did that to something we did. We adopted a family for the holidays two and three years ago at work. Two families it was. We did this two years in a row thru the same program until sadly some people at work had to screw it up for everyone(i wont go into this). However with this particualr program, you picked the size of the family and then that was all they did, they gave you the info for the family and their"wish list" with things like kids/paretns clothes sizes, toys they may want, etc. After that, there was no more involved with the agency, we spoke directly with the family and even could ask them more questions if we needed, like does little johnny like so and so or what size are little susie's shoes, in case the form was missiing it. But the best part was we got to deliver the stuff to the family ourselves!!! This truly was the best part, we got two great and wonderful families who obviously needed the xmas spirit very much and there was no doubt that they werent getting it or that something like the above was gonna happen. We worked really hard to find the good deals and where able to get ALOT of stuff for each family each year, we also did a cuss bucket to supplement the $20/25 donation we asked everyone to make (we did this the two years in lieu of exchanging gifts with eeach other at work), the cuss bucket sure brought a lot and for both occasions we were able to do extra, like provide tgiving dinner one year and give them a tree and stockings and then when v-day came around in Feb, we had extra money so we sent them movie cards to go to the movies. Each time we got thank you letters and pics of the kids, it really was very nice.

I think if you'd like to do this again, you should find and organization like this so that they dont "distribute" your gifts!

 

[skuttle]

We always take a "star" from the tree through my local bar association. They actually tell us not to spend more than $40 per kid. They even ask us to wrap the gifts, but label what's in each of them in case they have to shuffle the gifts around to make sure the kids get an equal amount of gifts. I think that's a great idea. I'd hate to think that one kid in the family gets $100 worth of stuff while another gets the $40 limit because a different person picked him.

 

[ZPT1022]

At our local SA they take names for the AAF program (both givers and receivers) in October. Then a group looks over the applications of those in need and pair them to the ones who signed up to adopt. The family is then told they are adopted and the adopting family is told who they got. All of this is completed before Thanksgiving. We did all of our shopping before Thanksgiving and our vacation. We always ask for a larger family, since they are more likely to not get picked. The one problem that I have is that the spending limit is set per family and not per person. I would prefer per person, but that is their rules. This year we got a family of 8 with 6 kids (10, 8, 6, 5, 3, 1). We always go over the limit and get a small lecture for doing it, but they also agree that the larger family is a little harder to stay under the limit for. We did not get everything that we would have liked to, but doing everything by 6 adds up quickly. I just hope the kid who wanted the live rabbit is not too disappointed when there is not one under the tree. I did try to get them stuff in their favorite color and for 4 of them they got the toy they wanted. The 10 year old was into scrapbooking, so we got that stuff for her too.

May I ask what the limit is? We've contemplated adopting a family either alone or most likely as a group, and I'd be curious to hear what the amount is. Unfortunately it can't be this year as money is really tight between my two unexpected surgeries and DH getting hurt at work (run into with a forklift) and missing work, but I'd love to know for the future, plus it would help me plan who I could ask to go in on it with us. Thanks

 

[ZPT1022]

Instead of adopting a family this year, my extended family is donating the money we would spend on a gift exchange to a family member adopting 2 children from Russia. We can't wait to surprise them on Christmas Eve!

That is so awesome. DH and I would eventually like to have more children but due to my health problems it may not happen. We'd love to adopt but it is SO EXPENSIVE. I am sure your family will appreciate your gift more than you can possibly imagine. to you- I'm so excited to hear that- it's really just so wonderful!!

 

[Forevryoung]

Dreaming is OK- to a point. You have to be realistic.

I mean, I can dream about someday marrying a great childfree guy who has money and living in a nice big house, and traveling the globe and sailing on a boat- BUT I know the reality is that none of this will ever happen.

It's not sad to be logical and to have your feet on the ground. It's wise.

No way would I give a "needy" kid an expensive gift.

You missed my point. Life is full of reality, especially for these kids who most likely go through so much.

Reality is having mac and cheese for dinner for a month because it was on sale at target for .10 a box (see budget board). You can still dream that you had a large piece of chicken and a big green salad to go with it. It's not reality though and you know it. Is it stupid to wish for something more?

This time of year is about dreaming big. Thinking beyond the logical (santa is NOT logical) and into the surprises of life.

I wish I could give a million needy kids a million expensive gifts, they will treasure them more than the ones who are bought these "gifts" on a regular basis.

People are told "no" every day. It's those who dream big that find away to rise above. In my field, if I remained realistic, stopped dreaming big and stopped waiting for a miracle, I think families would be devastated. Instead, I get to see small miracles every day.

 

[golfgal]

kinda off topic but i have to ask-how is it possible to have 7 children in 4 years with none of the pregnancies resulting in multiples? by my count even if each child was conceived the week the previous child was born it would take 63 months or over 5 years.

It is not possible and that was the point. We had a woman come into our toy drive last year after all the registered people had gotten their things. She filled out the form and had listed she had 7 children, she was no more then 30 years old too. We called her on it and she stammered and said 'um, well, ya, I have all those kids, ya". We did turn her away.

 

[Cindy B]

It is not possible and that was the point. We had a woman come into our toy drive last year after all the registered people had gotten their things. She filled out the form and had listed she had 7 children, she was no more then 30 years old too. We called her on it and she stammered and said 'um, well, ya, I have all those kids, ya". We did turn her away.

there was a note in my church bulletin yesterday about a single mother with 11 kids needing our help. Part of me was thinking scam and another part felt sad. My family isn't sure what to do right now--this family is not a part of the congregation and lives in a different town.