Toystoryduo’s Journal: Baby Steps are the Key... Celebrate Each Victory!

[goldcupmom]

Hope you're having a good Wednesday, Tracy! Hang in there!! Did you get your bubble bath??? AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

 

[toystoryduo]

Hello friends,

Today has been a very long day. I would like to ask for your prayers for my DH. He is getting very discouraged about all that has been going on in the past few months. Maybe discouraged isn't the right word.... How about mad? If you think about all he has been through in the past year....
His boss let him go in October and refused to pay him the money that he owed him. His brother was rushed to the ER in November. In January, he had the sale of 5 houses fall through because someone was greedy. In March-June, he was lied to about other houses closing. In July, he found out that even though he was told he verbally had a bid to do security cameras for a school district, they pulled the job from him at the last minute so a friend of the contractor could have it. Fast forward to today.... He is working 3rd shift at a job he hates, the kids don't get to see him, I don't get to see him, and he is just unhappy. I've not seen him like this before. He was snapping at everyone today.

It's hard for me to see him like this. I have done almost everything I possibly can to help his business succeed. I have spent hours trying to make contacts, schedule interviews, and doing research for his business. Sometimes I feel like I don't do enough. It's hard on me, but it's 10 times harder on him. My DH has done so much and not gotten much for it. He is usually my rock in storms and now, he is mad, confused, hurt, upset, and unhappy all rolled into one. I don't blame him one bit.

Again, I ask that you send good thoughts and prayers our way.... We're having a tough time right now understanding why all this stuff had to happen and knowing exactly what path we should be on.

Thanks for listening..... Today has been a rough, rough day.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Tracy, I am so sorry your husband had such a lousy day. No doubt his work schedule and lack of sleep is contributing to his misery. You are both trying so hard and it is so frustrating and just plain NOT FAIR that you are going through this. I know you are going to have an upward turn one of these days because nothing good or bad can last forever. But it is so hard to not feel discouraged, you and he could not possibly be human if you didn't have days like today. I am sending prayers and good thoughts to both of you. All you can do is support him and help him, both of which you are doing. Don't second guess yourself and how much you are doing to help him. You do so much I can not possibly imagine you could do more! Just keep doing your best and know that you have friends and family at home and out here in cyber space who are pulling for you. And you also have your faith. Even when God is testing you, He is still there! Hang in there, this will be a memory soon enough!

 

[traceycooper]

Hi Tracy,
So sorry you & DH are feeling so low, DH must be sooo tired & that certainly doesnt help, things always seem worse when lack of sleep is involved. Try not to blame yourself, its certainly not your or your DH fault. Life can be very trying & testing at times, you have each other to help get through it & i really hope you get through it soon. Sending lots of hugs & prayers across 'the pond'
Tracey xxx

 

[toystoryduo]

Thanks Amy and Tracey! I appreciate you both very much!

Today, DH and I talked about what has been going on lately. He is just so frustrated and stressed out. It's true that he has flip flopped jobs for the past couple of years, but he has had his own business since 2002 which has had its ups and downs too. This weekend, we are going to sit down and brainstorm every possibility there is under the sun and then find the pros and cons for each.

A few weeks ago, I saw an interview with Anderson Cooper on Oprah. He said that the best advice his mom (Gloria Vanderbilt) had ever given him was to find his bliss. That is what I want for my DH... I want him to find his bliss... I want him to find work that is financially beneficial, but also satisfying. I want people to recognize what a hard worker he is and what a nice person he is. I want him to feel appreciated. I want him to be blessed. I want him to find his "bliss."

In order to take his mind off of things, we are going to an amusement park tomorrow. They have hugely discounted tickets available for this weekend and we are planning to take the girls and make a day of it. We'll be doing lots of swimming and walking and hopefully, having fun!

I hope everyone has a great weekend! Thank you for your good thoughts and prayers. We appreciate them and you!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Hi Tracy! I saw that Anderson Cooper thing too! I agree, finding one's bliss is important. With your help, I'll bet your dh will find what he is looking for in his career very soon. I think a day at an amusement park will be great for your family. Sometimes some fun in the sun is just what we all need! Have a great time and keep hanging in there!

 

[traceycooper]

Hi Tracy
Thats a great idea to go out to the themepark,
let off some steam & have a great time....you deserve it

 

[Blueeyes101817]

Hey Tracy!
Hope you guys had a great time at the park..Maybe it is just what you guys needed!!
Although im not posting alot, you know i think of your family often..hope your DH finds his "bliss"
have a great weekend

 

[toystoryduo]

Thanks everyone,

We had a great time at Geauga Lake! We went swimming, rode lots of rides, and stuffed our bellies full of cheese/bacon/ranch fries and pop. Foodwise, this weekend has been a huge bust, but we have been relaxed and are having a good time.

Today, DH and I are going to talk about work and finding his "bliss". then, I am off to work for 4 1/2 hours while DH takes the girls to see his grandma. Then, it's back to the grind for my DH.

Hope everyone has a great Sunday!

 

[traceycooper]

Glad you had a good time Tracy
Hope your DH can find his 'bliss'
Dont worry about the eating, you relaxed & had good quality time & that is more important for you at the moment.
Dont work too hard!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Well, given that you swam and walked around a theme park you might not have done so bad. And having a fun, relaxing time counts for more than calorie counting. Not to mention, if you're gonna blow it, let it be on loaded fries I always say! I am really thinking about you, I hope today was good at work and that bliss is around the corner for your family!

 

[keenercam]

Tracy--
I want you to know I am thinking about you and your family so much. I really want things to work out for your DH as soon as possible. I can definitely relate though. After many years of unsatisfying and discouraging jobs and then NOT having a job since last June (except for a bring 5 week period earlier this year) DH just "found his bliss" when he got a full scholarship for at least the first semester of an MBA program and a part-time job that will provide a "living stipend". This was a long time in coming and we both feel it was the answer to so many prayers. So, I know how hard it is to see others being given opportunities and things coming so easily and I just want to reassure you that good really does come in God's time.
Sending you prayers and pixiedust and goodvibes, sweetie!

 

[toystoryduo]

Thanks Tracey, Amy, and Cam. I appreciate you all very much!

My DD4 woke up with a fever this morning. She's in good spirits despite being sick. I hope she feels better soon.

Since she isn't feeling well, I think we will stick close to home today. I was going to go grocery shopping and get my haircut today, but I think I will postpone that until she is feeling better. I think I will spend the day getting caught up on housework, getting ready for homeschooling, and maybe even eBaying some stuff.

I think I will also spend some time trying to get a bit more organized today. I think that once we have a routine and some organization, life might run a little more smoothly.

Finally, I would like to ask you for your continued good thoughts and prayers for my DH.... He was extremely frustrated yesterday and wasn't very positive about life, finances, work, e.t.c. He is having a tough time right now.

I hope everyone has a great day!

 

[traceycooper]

Tracy
Hope you DD is feeling better.
You & your DH are in my thoughts often, i continue to hope good things are on there way to you soon
Make sure you have some 'nice' time today not just housework & stuff!!

 

[wilderness01]

Hi Tracy,

Just getting caught up on your journal. Sorry your daughter is not feeling well. There must be a bug in the air as we have been under the weather as well. Hope she feels better soon.

Has your husband thought of going back to school and obtaining a degree? I can't remember if he has one or not. I know you do but I didn't think he did. Maybe then he could really do what he wants to do. It must be frustrating for you both. I know you want to stay home, but what about you going back to teaching full time? Maybe it isn't ideal and what you want to do, but maybe it would afford you guys the opportunity of your husband going back to school, being able to work in the field he wants and you guys getting out of this tailspin. You have remained so positive and keep searching for answers, but truly it has been too many years of this from what you have said in your old journal and this one. Maybe this is a possibility? I know you want to be supportive of your husband's dreams, but what about yours? You deserve some peace in your life and not to keep on worrying about money/your family's future. You are a far more supportive wife than I would have been so maybe it is shame on me, but in my opinion, it is cruel, even if unintentioned, to keep on searching for your dream if not financially providing for your family. You have so much stress in your life regarding finances and have for the past years I have been reading/corresponding to you in your journal. You seem to get sick alot or feel under the weather and I can't help but feel it is due to all the stress in your life. You seem like such a sweet, supportive person that I feel terrible that this is happening to you. I know you feel you should always be the supportive wife with your husband being the head of the household as you have referred to in your past journal, but maybe now is the time for you to take control. He has not been happy in his past 3rd shift jobs and have quit before. Then you have been stressed because of his unhappiness and lack of income. I know he tries from what you have written, but when is enough enough? Either he goes for his dream through schooling or he sucks it up and just sticks with a job. He has been trying to find his "bliss" for years now and you seem to be giving up yours. That is not fair to you. I am not trying to overstep my place here but please try to think about yourself for just a minute. You are going to be more lost in this Tracy unless you start to find your own bliss. If I have overstepped my boundary then I apologize. I just want you to be happy and not have to be disappointed that things remain unsteady in your life. Be good to yourself.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Hi Tracy, I am sorry about your husband and your daughter. My son had an ear infection and when I took him in the doctor told me that nationwide, doctors are seeing viruses and bacterial illnesses strange for this time of year. Kind of strange but it sounds like Ohio might be in the mix for this. In any case, I hope she feels better very soon. I also continue to keep your husband (and you ) in my prayers.

Hope your day today was better (and his too). Fall will be here soon which means your December WDW trip is getting closer! I am still so bummed we are missing you unless you extend that trip. That would be something to meet face to face!

 

[toystoryduo]

Good morning friends,

Yesterday was a good day! We went with my DH to finish a job in downtown Cleveland and then we picked up the most delicious sandwiches to eat at Edgewater Park. It was a very relaxing and peaceful day!

I did have coffee (well, juice for me!) with my friend last night. It was so good to see her. She is facing some challenges in her life right now and it's hard to see her struggle though. Please keep "G" in your thoughts and prayers.

Hi Wilderness! I've thought a lot about what you have said in your post. Thank you for caring about me! My DH is definitely not the school type so I don't think going back to school is an option for him right now. As for me returning to teaching.... I've thought about that a great deal. I don't think the Lord wants me to do that at this point in my life. I am content to be homeschooling my DD5, working part time at a Dollar Store, eBaying, and working part time as a Disney travel agent. I've always been a person who likes to stay busy.

I really want my DH to find what he wants to do in life. He is a middle child and has always had the tendency to go with the flow. To do what others want him to do. He is just realizing now that he can step out of the box and be the person God wants him to be. He's been through a lot in the past few years with his business and work and I just want him to find work that is meaningful and enjoyable to him.

Today's Plan:

* Fold laundry that is piled up on my couch.

* Workout

* Work (5-9:30)

* DH has a coaches meeting, Girls have footskills class...

* eBay?

That's about all for today. Thanks everyone for your encouragement and support! Have a great Wednesday!

 

[ScoJo15]

Hi Tracy -

Just catching up and wanna still wish you and your DH the best with his situation. I know it's tough but you gotta just hang in there.

Hope you have a great day!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Hi Tracy, I am so glad that yesterday was a better day and that you and your husband had some time to relax and enjoy the day. He is so lucky to have you and your support. I am sorry about your friend and her woes, I know your support of her is bound to help. Ever wonder why all the good people have all the crummy times? Hope today was a good one for you and your family!

 

[toystoryduo]

Thanks Scott and Amy.

Today is going to be a busy day. I have to sit down and get familiar with my DD5's homeschooling program. I also have laundry to do, a Disney trip to plan, eBaying to do, and soccer practice this evening.

I did manage about 20 minutes worth of weight lifting yesterday. Today, I am hoping to get some type of cardio in.

I want to make some goals and start getting more organized in my life. I'll be thinking about that stuff over the next couple of days.

I probably won't be able to get to journals until this evening.... Have a great day!