Toddler harness?

[Dis703]

I was giving Nata credit for being more civil than me. I call it like I see it.

And go ahead and call that thing a "harness" if it makes you feel better. It's a harness connected to a leash.

Look it up. They are harnesses. I don't give a crap personally but the haters are often the ones calling them leashes which seems to me like you are attempting to make it degrading. The kids don't seem to care, the parents who need them don't either. So perhaps if the haters would just change their views and accept that some parents need to use them there wouldn't be anything degrading about it at all.

 

[cakebaker]

I'm not trolling - I totally believe what I'm saying. I just don't care that what I'm saying is ruffling the feathers of the pro-leash crowd. If it's true, it's true.

No, you said you were having fun "ruffling feathers" - that's not the same as not caring. It doesn't matter whether you actually believe the stuff you're saying- it's the reason you're saying it that makes it trolling. Trying to "ruffle feathers" as you like to call it, for fun is trolling.


If it's true, it's true.

 

[OZMom]

You're upset because someone suggested you, too, could be viewed as a bad parent for repeatedly losing your kids. Of course, they were making a point about the judge being judged, which you seem to have missed.



And so you go on to say that anyone one who uses a leash is a bad parent who doesn't care if their kids ever learn impulse control or appreciation for the consequences of their actions.

Pot. Kettle. Checkmate!

By the way, you know what I used to think made ME a superior parent to all the rest of you? The fact that I didn't use a stroller. My baby was carried on my hip, up next to me where I could talk to her and educate her all the time. By the time she was 15 months old, she could walk with me, holding my hand. She was the strongest, sturdiest little walker you ever saw! Incredibly smart and verbal, too. And it was all thanks to my super-duper superior parenting. Gee, all those other parents using strollers must be incredibly lazy people who don't care as much as I do about raising strong, smart kids.

Then I got pregnant again, and had a scare, and my doctor said I couldn't pick up my kid any more. Suddenly, I *had* to use a stroller. And my kid, being unused to it, thought it was the worse torture she'd ever experienced. She'd scream and grab lamp posts and other people's legs. She arched her back and did everything she could to fling herself out. Every day, it was a fight to get her into the thing. Then her brother came along, and while I figured he was smart, he didn't say more than a couple words until he was two.

And you know what I realized? I'm not a superior parent. I just did things one way, and they did them another way. And now my kid is in university and while she's a great kid, she's not an athlete. And your kid who rode everywhere in the stroller? Heck, for all I know, they're competing on the world stage in the Olympics. And probably both our kids are good, moral people.

Who the hell cares, if you use a stroller, or not? If you use a leash, or not? If you breastfeed, or not. Cloth diaper, or not. Co-sleep, or not. Spank, or not. If your kid has a bickie or stays in diapers an extra year or starts school early or late or not at all (because you chose to homeschool)? None of this makes us superior to each other. None of this is a predictor of how well our kids will turn out.

We all seriously need to back the heck off.

 

[pooki1]

I would put one of those cold gel packs in the backpack to keep the little one cool

 

[g8torphan]

Otherwise known as trolling...

I find that it's quite often the case that parents who feel the need to attack other parents methods feel a little insecure about their own parenting skills and bolster themselves by running other parents down.

"Look what a bad parent you are" somehow translates into what a great parent they are. Sad, really.

Or we were just responding tot he original OP's ?:

Opinions about toddler harnesses...unsure whether to get one...

If you ask for opinons on a controversial topic, expect controversial responses.

As for kids not minding, I find that hard to believe.
Children are very observant and can put together that the majority of other kids their age arent wearing them.


? for the ones who use them:
Do your kids just take off whem you remove it?
If not, why do you think that is?
And if they do take off when its removed what do you do then? Probably info them why running of is a bad idea, eh? So, why not take that approach from the start.

 

[HollieS]

? for the ones who use them:
Do your kids just take off whem you remove it?
If not, why do you think that is?
And if they do take off when its removed what do you do then? Probably info them why running of is a bad idea, eh? So, why not take that approach from the start.

Because you can't reason with a toddler and expect 100% compliance?
Because not all children are neurotypical?
Because some children have sensory issues and don't do well with hand holding?
Because some children have ADHD and can't sit for long periods of time?
Because some parents don't have enough hands to hold all their children?
Because some children have trouble with impulse control?
Because some parents don't have the mobility to chase down their child?
Because some parents have lost a child and are terrified of it happening again?

 

[siskaren]

Children are very observant and can put together that the majority of other kids their age arent wearing them.

Then they can also put together that a majority of kids their age are in strollers. It doesn't mean all kids that age don't want out of the stroller.

And if they do take off when its removed what do you do then? Probably info them why running of is a bad idea, eh? So, why not take that approach from the start.

Because reasoning with a toddler works so well.

ETA: I see HollieS and I are on the same wavelength - and I'm not even a mother!

 

[Nata]

I don't think that there is a need for pro-harness (I apologize, I was not aware of politically correct name) crowd to default to personal attacks and mudslinging. If you believe that learning to walk with your family is less beneficial to your toddler development and training him to walk in the harness is more beneficial, please, present arguments. By the way, my arguments apply to all toddlers within normal range of development, twins included. Granted, that twins require much more time and effort from a parent to teach this skill, especially from one-armed parent of twins - it is like a whole other level of parenting.

 

[aaarcher86]

I'm waiting for the debate on how old is too old for a leash! Let's see...8, 9, 10 is still okay in a stroller. So I'm guessing the cutoff for leashes is probably somewhere around 13! After all, the older they get, the faster they are and harder to keep up with. And we all know pre-teens don't want to listen to anything we say or be seen in public with a parent, so they're definitely prone to wandering off...

I seriously consider one for my husband some days. People leashes a re ageless accessories.

 

[Magpie]

As for kids not minding, I find that hard to believe.
Children are very observant and can put together that the majority of other kids their age arent wearing them.


? for the ones who use them:
Do your kids just take off whem you remove it?
If not, why do you think that is?
And if they do take off when its removed what do you do then? Probably info them why running of is a bad idea, eh? So, why not take that approach from the start.

I guess you missed reading this poster (though she's only a few above you!):

Well my 6 year old actually wants one pretty badly. He's quite jealous that my twins have them and he doesn't. I guess he didn't get the memo about how degrading they are.

But they really don't make them to fit older kids so he's out of luck. In the meantime he wears his brothers without clipping it around the house to play.

Besides, what kid wouldn't want Pooh Bear on his back?

These often double as small backpacks, giving kids the opportunity to carry a few items of their own.

 

[g8torphan]

Its not reasoning with a toddler, its explainig consequences for your actions.

Take the harness out of the equation; say your at home and your kid does something dangerous.
Do you not explain what happened was dangerous, and why they shouldn't do it?

I dont understand why you wouldnt use words ti explain the world to your kid.
Just hoping they figure it out on there own?

 

[HollieS]

If you believe that learning to walk with your family is less beneficial to your toddler development and training him to walk in the harness is more beneficial, please, present arguments.

I already addressed this. Just because the child is wearing a harness doesn't mean you have to change your parenting. You can still hold hands. You can still praise the child for staying near. You can still punish the child for letting go of your hand and trying to wandering off. Without the negative consequences should a crowd of people attempt to push between you and your child or your child sprinting away before you can grab them back.

 

[disneypolybride2008]

YES! we had one for our daughter. If you pull back on the leash it saves them from falling. It saved a few EPIC falls! Like on tom sawyer island's raft, it jolted and DD2 went flying towards the center cement wall. I pulled back on the leash, and stopped her 1 inch from it! the giant velcro strap was nearly ripped off! If it wasnt for that she would've been in the hospital! The raft ride looks smooth and nobody tells you any saftey info, but then the engine jolted! OMG i am so thankful i had that leash! Also walking into the Little Mermaid ride she fell after tripping on the stone work. I pulled back on the leash and she only gently touched the ground. Otherwise it would have skinned her knees. I would not take a toddler without one. She was at the age where she wanted to walk on her own and would push her had out of ours. This made her feel free and she was the happiest little girl. 2 was a precious age at Disney!

 

[cakebaker]

I don't think that there is a need for pro-harness (I apologize, I was not aware of politically correct name) crowd to default to personal attacks and mudslinging. If you believe that learning to walk with your family is less beneficial to your toddler development and training him to walk in the harness is more beneficial, please, present arguments. By the way, my arguments apply to all toddlers within normal range of development, twins included. Granted, that twins require much more time and effort from a parent to teach this skill, especially from one-armed parent of twins - it is like a whole other level of parenting.

You posted a condescending argument- parents who use leashes either don't have the time or just don't want to train their children properly. Other people chime in that the parents are somehow lazy or treating their children in a demeaning manner and now you think people who use harnesses are engaging in personal attacks?

I'd present an argument to you, but your premise is false from the start. I don't believe that walking in a harness for a few hours on and off, for 7 days out of the year, every other year for perhaps 2 or 3 times in total in his lifetime is either detrimental or helpful to my grandson's development. To suggest otherwise is ridiculous.

What I do know is he got to walk in the parks much more and be much more involved with the entire group at a much younger age because he wore a harness. But, when he's 40 and can't walk properly in public because for a few weeks out of his lifetime he was put into a harness, I'll come back and say you were right.

 

[ShayBells]

Its not reasoning with a toddler, its explainig consequences for your actions. Take the harness out of the equation; say your at home and your kid does something dangerous. Do you not explain what happened was dangerous, and why they shouldn't do it? I dont understand why you wouldnt use words ti explain the world to your kid. Just hoping they figure it out on there own?

Just out of curiosity. You are saying it's better for your kid to get lost just so he can experience that life altering fear? To teach him a lesson rather than slap a book bag on him?

I admit I'd rather hold my kids hand cause to me it feels safer but I don't get the big deal if someone else wants to use one. I know this topic is controversial but is it really so awful for someone to choose to use a "leash". Is it soo damning to the child? Where's the harm? I don't believe it can hurt learning capabilities in anyway. I don't get how it would.

I'm with the other PPs that I don't understand judging each other. I get giving your opinion. The OP asked so I gave my advice earlier that I would bring one but try without first.

You could say you don't like them without hitting people where it hurts.

There's my two cents. Do your worse.

 

[Magpie]

Its not reasoning with a toddler, its explainig consequences for your actions.

Take the harness out of the equation; say your at home and your kid does something dangerous.
Do you not explain what happened was dangerous, and why they shouldn't do it?

I dont understand why you wouldnt use words ti explain the world to your kid.
Just hoping they figure it out on there own?

As has been said frequently in this thread: It's not either/or.

There's a mum in my town whose kids went to the same school as my kids. One day, about 12 years ago, she decided that she'd walk two blocks with her toddler and her preschooler to school to pick up the older child. It was a beautiful day. A great opportunity to get the kids a little air and exercise. Both kids were good about holding her hand and they knew to be careful about roads. She was an excellent, attentive mother. They'd practiced looking both ways and crossing safely.

She arrived at the school, just as they were letting the kids out. Her preschooler spotted her big brother in the kindergarten playground, slipped her hand out of her mother's grasp, and dashed into the street. She was struck by a car, driven by a parent coming to pick up their own child, and was severely injured. She died in hospital, several days later.

I remember seeing her mother on the news, crying, saying she should have put both kids in a stroller. She thought it was her fault, for not making sure her children were safe. For letting them walk.

And I remember thinking, as someone who frequently walked places holding my own children's hands, "She can't blame herself. She was trying to do the right thing! It was a freak accident."

But, it's undeniable... if she's used a leash, or if she'd used a stroller, her child would be graduating high school now.

I was lucky. She was not. If a parent decides they'd rather play it safe and use a harness, I cannot fault them one little bit. Conversely, if a parent chooses not to use a leash, that's also a perfectly fine decision.

Whatever they choose to do, it doesn't mean they won't also teach their child to be safe.

 

[Nata]

I already addressed this. Just because the child is wearing a harness doesn't mean you have to change your parenting. You can still hold hands. You can still praise the child for staying near. You can still punish the child for letting go of your hand and trying to wandering off. Without the negative consequences should a crowd of people attempt to push between you and your child or your child sprinting away before you can grab them back.

It might be happening, but I personally have never seen a parent use a harness as a tool to learn this skill. It is made as a tool to avoid working on this skill. Be honest, have you once seen a parent hold a toddler hand and harness leash (strap?) at once? How do you even use it for teaching this skill? If the toddler wanders off you can pull him closer? It is not learning the skill, it is learning to walk in harness. If it is safety you are worried about, I would think that tether attached to your belt would make more sense and leave your hand free to hold your toddler and work with him on developing this skill.

 

[Belle & Ariel]

Its not reasoning with a toddler, its explainig consequences for your actions.

Take the harness out of the equation; say your at home and your kid does something dangerous.
Do you not explain what happened was dangerous, and why they shouldn't do it?

I dont understand why you wouldnt use words ti explain the world to your kid.
Just hoping they figure it out on there own?

Then why do we have shock stops on outlets? Why did I pay $150 to put a gate on my deck? Why are there gates blocking the stairs? Child proof lids on drugs?

I should have just told the 1 year old no and I'm sure he would have always remembered and listened. the new fantasyland

 

[IrishNYC]

Its not reasoning with a toddler, its explainig consequences for your actions.

Take the harness out of the equation; say your at home and your kid does something dangerous.
Do you not explain what happened was dangerous, and why they shouldn't do it?

I dont understand why you wouldnt use words ti explain the world to your kid.
Just hoping they figure it out on there own?

How often does your kid not repeat the same behavior, even after they've learned the consequences?

If I had a runner, I wouldn't want to face the consequences of my child running off and missing for even a minute.

 

[ShayBells]

Went back and read more of this thread...

I think I got it down ...

If you use a harness ... You're lazy and a bad parent.

If you don't use a harness... You don't care about your kids safety and are a bad parent.


I think we can all agree we suck at parenting.